Pieces of Me, Whispers of You

by Dragonflysoul

Fourth story in, "And the World Spins Madly On" series. Post 5x5. "The only thing you wanted, the only thing that could have calmed you, comforted you in such a state, was Jack." She took a trembling breath as the tears blurring her vision threatened to fall. "So we gave him to you." TISSUE WARNING

Title: Pieces of Me, Whispers of You

Series: And the World Spins Madly On

Author: dragonfly

Category: angst, drama, mentions of torture, hurt/comfort, grief, Mac Whump, Hurt Mac, delirium, aftermath of torture

Warnings: ALL THE TISSUES WARNING, mentions of torture

Rating: T

Summary: Fourth story in, "And the World Spins Madly On" series. "The only thing you wanted, the only thing that could have calmed you, comforted you in such a state, was Jack." She took a trembling breath as the tears blurring her vision threatened to fall. "So we gave him to you."

A/N: Steady now...

~*~M~*~

"Oh, god." Russ ran over and dropped to his knees next to the prone body. With hands that shook, he rolled him onto his side. "Matty, tell the medics to be ready."

"Done. What's his condition?"

Too much to take in, all he could manage was, "Not good."

Wearing nothing but torn pants, MacGyver was caked in dirt and dried blood. "Angus?" He was burning up. "Angus, can you hear me?" Russ should have brought help inside. They thought it would have been easier for just the two of them to get out. They had assumed that MacGyver would be able to walk out under his own steam. They didn't...they never...

Groaning, MacGyver opened unfocused eyes full of pain.

"Mac–"

The younger man flinched and brought his hands up in a defensive manner.

"Hey, sshh, sshh. It's Russell, Angus. Can you stand?" They needed to move. Now. Especially if Russ was going to have to help him.

Blinking sluggishly, MacGyver slowly relaxed his arms, then after a few failed attempts, he rolled onto his knees with Russ' help. He trembled all over in the dark, dank cell. His fists, arms...everything was bruised or cut. And when Russ placed a hand lightly over his back, MacGyver cried out. "Sorry, sorry." Pulling his hand away, the ex-MI6 agent paled. "Oh, dear Lord."

"Russ? Russ, sitrep," Matty ordered over comms.

"He was...he was flogged, Matilda. Whipped."

In a dump truck tucked away in the woods, waiting for their cue, Bozer and Riley shared a look of horror.

In a hospital room even further way, Desi squeezed her eyes shut.

Matty inhaled a shaky breath. "Can he walk?"she asked, trying to keep them on task, trying to get her boy wonder safe.

Russ grunted as he lifted him to his feet. "Not by himself."

"I'm coming."Bozer immediately shoved open the heavy dump truck's door.

"No," Russ held him off. "We can't wait. Just be ready to plow our way out once I get him to the car."

Though unhappy to just sit there when his best friend was in such bad shape, Bozer settled back into the passenger seat. "All right, but if you're not out in three minutes, we're plowing our way through the building to get to you."

Riley nodded her head in agreement, fingers gripping the steering wheel in anticipation to get moving, to do something.

"You shouldn't have sent them in alone." Desi berated on another video feed Matty was watching in the war room. "I should have gone with them."

Matty took in her pale complexion and the fact that she couldn't even get out of her hospital bed. She had taken a bullet trying to stop MacGyver from being abducted two days ago. She had nearly died. "I don't want to even project how that would have played out. Besides," Matty turned to another feed on the screen that had just popped up, "they're not alone."

Just then, an explosion rocked the compound MacGyver had been kept prisoner in. A new voice came over comms. "Your route is clear, Taylor."

"Who is that?" Unsuccessfully, Desi tried to sit further up in her bed.

A small smile met Matty's lips, even as tears unexpectedly filled her eyes. "That isDalton's Heroes."

"Need me to blow anything else up, guys?"

"I think we're good for the moment, Fitzy, but stand by," Deacon's voice returned, sounding somewhat amused."Taylor, I'm closing in on your location."

"Hurry." When the explosion went off, MacGyver had started struggling, fighting against Russ. His eyes were fever-bright, but determined.

"N-no! I'm not," he gasped out, "I'm not leaving him!"

Both on their knees again, Russ' eyes darted to the door, watching for threats. "Who, Angus?" he questioned. "You're the only one here."

Looking gutted, MacGyver swallowed hard. "Jack. I won't–I won't leave him."

The comms went silent.

Then before Russ could open his mouth, he was ordered by more than one voice, "Lie to him!"

He took a calculated breath and nodded. "He's...he's already at the rendezvous site, Mac."

MacGyver furrowed his brow and dropped his gaze, confusion and uncertainty clear on his battered face.

Reflexes quick, Russ already had his gun aimed at the doorway when an armed man appeared in it. "One of Dalton's Heroes, I hope?"

"Deacon." He moved his weapon to the side from where it hung off his neck and dropped down next to them. "Hey, kid, ready to blow this joint?"

Another explosion rocked them. This time closer. "You boys got incoming. Get a move on," Sid warned.

Without hesitation, Deacon bent down and slid a still resisting MacGyver over his shoulders.

"Oh, how I envy your knees," Russ commented, leading the way out.

They fought their way out through a hail of bullets and explosions, all the while MacGyver continued to weakly struggle and cry out for Jack.

By the time they made it to the car and a safe distance away from the compound, MacGyver had passed out.

"Medics are waiting and ready on the cargo plane. Sorry I couldn't acquire more comfortable accommodations," Matty informed them.

"Just as long as it gets us far away from here," Russ muttered from the floor of the backseat as Worthy drove and Deacon covered them from the passenger seat. The rest of Jack Dalton's old team were bringing up the rear in an old brute of a pickup truck.

"How's Mac?"Riley asked, leading the way of their rescue train.

"Not good." Russ shook his head as he felt his pulse.

"What does that mean?" Desi demanded.

Russ sighed, trying to breathe around the worry gripping his heart. "It means, not good: his pulse is weak and erratic, his breathing is shit, his temperature would shatter mercury, he's in shock and he's lost a lot of blood."

Breaking with concern, Desi's voice was much meeker this time, "So, not good."

"No."

"There's something that you guys should know," Matty began. "This isn't the first time MacGyver has been..." she struggled to say it, "tortured in this fashion. It happened not long after they joined DXS. Jack had put together a rescue team and stormed the complex MacGyver was being held prisoner in. But it was big. The official report was a little different, but the truth is: when Jack heard MacGyver's cries of pain...he lost it, and ended up bringing the whole damn place down finding him and getting him out. Literally. Tearing through the site, Jack had immediately handed MacGyver off once they located him, so that he could lay down cover fire. The building came down just as they cleared it with MacGyver, but Jack was still inside."

"What?" Shocked, Riley looked to Bozer.

"Like a mouse, Jack had scurried out with barely a scrape, but MacGyver had fought with what little strength he had until Jack reappeared at his side. Then he refused to let go until they put him under at the closest possible hospital to treat his wounds."

"He thinks Dalton is trapped back in that building," Russ whispered more to himself than to anyone else.

"I'm afraid that might be the case."

Russ lightly pressed the back of his hand against MacGyver's blood-caked cheek. His temperature truly was high. Dangerously so. "Hang in there, Mac." The kid had been wiggling his way into his heart for awhile now. He was surprised by how much it hurt sometimes. "We're going to get you home."

~*~M~*~

The medics started working on MacGyver the moment they got him on the plane. Thirty minutes later, they were still trying to stabilize him. They spouted off terrifying words while everyone watched and listened in horror.

When Riley leaned into Bozer, he wrapped an arm around her. He was having trouble himself comprehending what he was seeing. As if MacGyver hadn't been through enough over the past few years.

"Matilda, why didn't you tell us you had another team in place?" Russ asked, voice somewhat distant as his eyes remained fixed on the medics' continuing efforts to stabilize MacGyver.

"Because she didn't know." Unlatching his harness now that they had reached altitude, Deacon stood.

"How did you guys know that Mac was in trouble?" Matty had been wondering herself.

"Jack." It wasn't a question. Riley knew it, deep down.

Deacon nodded. "A few months ago, he, uh, he connected us with a little birdie." The former delta grinned, but it was sad. "He wanted to know someone had his kids' back – his words, if you guys ever needed an extra hand. But we weren't sure we were going to make it there in time. Matty knew of our position only moments before the rest of you."

Everyone jumped when MacGyver suddenly woke and started fighting the medics. Ripping off the leads and IV, he managed to make it off the cot before stumbling. Everyone stood and held their hands up in a nonthreatening manner as MacGyver shook and swayed, blood rolling down his pale body.

"Whoa easy, kid, you're safe," Deacon promised gently.

MacGyver went for the door of the plane, but Russ blocked his way. "Mac, I need you to calm down. We're thirty-five thousand feet in the air. It would not bode well to open that door."

Matty and Desi's voices, asking what was going on, could be heard in everyone's ears, but their focus was fixed completely on MacGyver.

"Mac, you're safe now." Bozer stepped forward. "Let the medics help you."

MacGyver's face pinched at the sight of Bozer and he shook his head. "No, I–Jack...I can't leave him." His breathing was getting more erratic and strained, but when a medic tried to get closer, he quickly stumbled away. Eyes full of desperation and pain, he didn't recognize friend from foe. There was only one thing he knew to be true: "We have to-we have to find Jack."

"He's going to crash," a woman medic warned her team quietly, "get the paddles."

MacGyver's knees hit the grated floor of the cargo plane, but he didn't go down all the way and he made a fist when the medics tried to near again."I'm not leaving him," he panted out harshly, even as he swayed dangerously on his knees.

"You're making it worse," Riley admonished when a medic took another step towards him.

"He's moments from going into cardiac arrest," he countered quietly, but urgently over his shoulder.

"Somebody do something!" Matty and Desi ordered helplessly over comms.

When MacGyver's breathing and shaking worsened, Deacon quickly handed off his weapons and motioned for everyone to step back. He knew what he had to do, try, but he also knew that it wouldn't be easy. And it would hurt. A lot. Taking a deep breath and calling upon years of memories, "Ain't nobody gettin' left behind, bud," he promised softly as he knelt next to the waning form. Then heart pounding even as it broke anew, Deacon reached out...

~*~M~*~

A hand donned in a familiar black wristband slid over MacGyver's. He looked up and was greeted by Jack's worried, but doting smile. "Hey there, hoss."

Tears and relief immediately filled MacGyver's eyes. "Jack?" His voice and hand trembled as he reached for him. "The building...I thought..."

There were tears in Jack's eyes, too. "Nah, you know me, dawg, I'm like a bad penny." His southern drawl was just as soothing as ever. "I'll just keep showing up."

Gripping Jack's tactical vest, MacGyver released a shaky breath, tension already draining from his battered body. "I knew it. The numbers, they were wrong."

Jack hesitated, looking up and away for a moment before looking back down at him. "Heya, Mac, I need you to let these fine folk take a look at you now."

MacGyver's eyes had already started to close, but with grief still digging into him, he gripped Jack's vest tighter and pressed his face into his shoulder, trying to dislodge the feeling. A sob erupted when he couldn't.

"Hey, come on, now," Jack carded a hand through his hair, barely keeping his own tears a bay, "I'm right here, kid. Ain't nobody gonna hurt you."

"You–" MacGyver kept his face buried against the side of Jack's neck, trying to get closer, trying to make sure he didn't lose him again, trying to hide from the pain, "–you were gone." He voice sounded so small, and yet, accusing at the same time.

It took Jack a moment to compose himself, to speak. "No, Mac, I'm here. I'm right here, bud."

"Hurts."

"I know," Jack returned thickly, his own tears finally breaking free; as if feeling the pain as keenly as MacGyver, "but I'm here now, all right? And I'm gonna get you fixed up."

MacGyver had been growing heavier in Jack's arms, but he still wouldn't let himself rest. He couldn't. His grip on him tightened as his eyes fluttered opened again. "Jack?" He had to make sure...

Fresh tears flooded Jack's eyes as his throat tightened around the lie, "I'm here, bud."

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, MacGyver let it out, body relaxing further. When he closed his eyes this time, they stayed closed.

~*~M~*~

Deacon looked up into grieving hearts and wet faces. Riley brushed a hand across her cheek. Bozer nodded approvingly at him, his own face wet. But no one could speak. Not even Russ.

Deacon found his own voice lost now as the medics moved in. They let him take the hand they removed from his vest, and expertly slid MacGyver onto the stretcher.

"Thank you, Deacon." Matty's unsteady voice finally came through comms.

Unable to reply, Deacon just kept holding MacGyver's hand.

~*~M~*~

Two days later, curled on his side in a hospital room at Phoenix Medical, MacGyver opened his eyes. Sitting next to his bed, Matty wrung her hands. She sat there now because MacGyver's fever had finally started to break. She sat there now, because the last time he had woken, for the first time...he had seen Deacon, not Jack.

MacGyver lifted his head off the pillow, eyes darting around, searching.

It was exactly as Matty had feared. Dreaded. "He's not here, Mac," she told him softly, wishing with every fiber of her being that she was lying. "He never was."

MacGyver frowned, bruised brow furrowing. "Jack," he croaked weakly, "he–"

"Mac," she spoke as gently as she could, but she knew it was of no use; this was going to shatter what was left of her boy wonder. "Jack died in an explosion hunting Kovac weeks ago."

Gaze turning inward, MacGyver dropped his head back onto the pillow.

"You had been captured, tortured..." Matty swallowed hard, "...beaten. You had a dangerously high fever and were confused and we...we were losing you." Her breath caught at the memory, at how close they were. "The only thing you wanted, the only thing that could have calmed you, comforted you in such a state, was Jack." She took a trembling breath as the tears blurring her vision threatened to fall. "So we gave him to you."

"No."

It was barely whispered, barely heard, but the sound reverberated through Matty's heart, deepening the fissures. "Deac–" her words caught on her guilt, her own grief, "Deacon pretended to be Jack, so you'd allow us to treat you. He never left your side."

MacGyver squeezed his eyes shut, remembering Jack's calloused hand brushing through his hair, remembering his gentle, reassuring smile and soothing southern drawl... and he had imagined it all?

"We just...we couldn't bear to lose you, too," Matty's voice hitched and broke.

Renewed grief exploded like a series of bombs inside of MacGyver that he had no energy, nor hopes of diffusing. One after another they went off until he was completely consumed.

"I'm so sorry, Mac," Matty cried, grieved with him, reaching for and squeezing his hand. "I'm so sorry."

His body had been badly beaten, he had weeks of agonizing physical therapy and surgeries ahead of him, and he may never be completely free of pain again.

But it was his broken heart that left him inconsolable.

"I'm so sorry."

"I thought of you and where you'd gone

And the world spins madly on...

And the world spins madly on."