DCMK || KaiShin || DCMK || KID Killer, Son of Kaitou KID?! || DCMK || KaiShin || DCMK

Title: KID Killer, Son of Kaitou KID?! – The Misery of Kuroba Kaito

Fandom: Detective Conan / Magic Kaito

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Gosho Aoyama for he created the awesomeness that is Kaitou KID. Ah, and Detective Conan, too. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Tags: m/m, fake news, humor, fluff

Main Pairing: Kaito/Shinichi

DC/MK Characters: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan, Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou KID, Mouri Ran, Suzuki Sonoko, Nakamori Aoko, Hakuba Saguru, Koizumi Akako, Mouri Kogoro, Nakamori Ginzo

Summary: Someone very intelligent had done the math and determined that the reason Kaitou KID disappeared for eight years was because he had a child; Edogawa Conan. And that thus Kaitou KID's real identity must be Mouri Kogoro. Kaito wants to curl up and die somewhere.

KID Killer, Son of Kaitou KID?!

The Misery of Kuroba Kaito

"Hello... father..." Conan offered him the meanest, nastiest grin.

Kaito made a miserable noise and if he had the detective's belt and kicking abilities, he would be the one shooting a soccer ball at Conan's head right about now. Nothing about this was funny!

"This isn't funny, tantei-kun. My life and reputation are ruined," Kaito whined.

The shrunken detective half-covered his mouth with one hand and started laughing. The bright, deep belly laugh that had him squint his eyes, cheeks reddening from laughing, his lips pulled into such a broad smile that his hand couldn't cover it and suddenly, Kaito didn't feel as much like pouting anymore, because it was rare to see his detective like that.

"I'm sorry, I just..." Conan took a deep breath, trying to somber up, just to laugh once more. "That anyone could think Kogoro is capable of... Just, can you imagine, even for just a second?"

The smallest chuckle escaped Kaito as he tried to imagine the Sleeping Kogoro in his outfit, trying to be charming, suave and cunning. With a sigh did Kaito sit down on the ledge, legs crossed.

/15 Hours Earlier\

Kaito was tired when he got to school but by the time he entered to room, he felt as though he had missed something and wished he'd been awake enough to catch on. Hakuba kept giving him a downright nasty smirk while Aoko was fuming about something. Even Akako seemed amused.

"Did you read the news about Kaitou KID?!" asked Aoko as soon as she spotted him.

News...? Well, there was a heist tonight, so probably someone praising him. No, that wouldn't explain the look on Hakuba's face. With a frown did Kaito snatch the newspaper from Aoko. His eyes widened in slow motion and he lost control of his face.

"KID Killer, son of Kaitou KID?!" read Kaito aloud, slowly, letting the words sink in.

The photo beneath the headline was indeed of Edogawa Conan and Kaitou KID. Followed by an image of Mouri Kogoro, much to Kaito's confusion. Without even looking or caring did Kaito sit down on Hakuba's desk, because he feared he'd collapse if he didn't sit down for this.

"Are you..." Kaito trailed off, his mind reeling. "Are they for real. What kind of shitty journalism is this! This is some stupid conspiracy theory, that's not news!"

"I find their arguments quite sound," commented Hakuba, looking way too amused.

"Bullshit! This is-! There is no foundation for any of this!" Kaito tore the newspaper up.

"Kaitou KID disappeared eight years ago without an announcement, without a reason, just to reemerge now," countered Hakuba, feigning a serious look. "And oh, look at that, KID's greatest enemy is a seven year old child. How suspicious is that, indeed. The timeline matches, for him to have retired due to pending fatherhood. And a child outsmarting the thief and the police? Something has always seemed off about that, hasn't it? So if he is truly the son of Kaitou KID, he would have all the inside information needed to appear that smart."

Kaito hated that on a surface level, those might actually sound like arguments. "But Mouri-san!"

"The man is the child's 'guardian', even though nobody has ever seen the boy's actual father before," interjected Akako, throwing her hair back. "The part about him being Edogawa-kun's biological father is the only thing that seems sound about this whole article."

"The implication that that'd make Mouri-san Kaitou KID!" Kaito's voice was an angry hissing.

"He's the right age, if you consider when Kaitou KID first started," argued Aoko, wagging a finger at Kaito. "And Kaitou KID has appeared at many heists where dad did face-check everybody... and Mouri-san was there. Of course would he pass the check if he was actually KID! He has been using his son's fame as the KID Killer to get easy access to the heist locations!"

Kaito also hated how there was just a speck of logic to that, because the ridiculousness of Mouri Kogoro ever being Kaitou KID was just absolutely devastating. The detective was now getting credit for Kaito's work, for his father's work, and worst of all, people now thought that Kaitou KID was the father of tantei-kun. How wrong was that? So very wrong that Kaito's stomach turned.

No, tantei-kun was his... Well, they weren't anything official, but did their rooftop meetings not feel like dates? Did their chase not feel like courting? Was Kudou Shinichi's mind not the only one made to match Kaito's? Whatever it was they had, it went nameless for now, but Kaito was determined to label it once his shrunken detective got his own body back. So to see a picture of himself and his tantei-kun labeled as father and son was just wrong on so so many levels...

/break\

"Ra—an! Is it tru—ue?!" Sonoko was actually sobbing as she stormed into the agency.

Shinichi blinked, surprised that she had even been able to fight her way up here. The agency had been swarmed with paparazzi all morning, there was a whole army of them outside. Sonoko threw herself at Ran, wrapping her arms around her best friend.

"Ah... No, Sonoko..." Ran sounded kind but exasperated.

Sonoko looked at her hopefully. "I... I am not having a crush on your father?"

Shinichi snorted to himself, trying hard not to draw attention. Instead, he hid behind the newspaper he was reading. He'd already read three different online articles about this mess, but Kogoro had finally given up the newspaper for Shinichi to check. Him, an accomplice of KID! His son, which was just ridiculous. Not as ridiculous as the idea of Kogoro as KID. An image of Kogoro in the iconic white get-up came to Shinichi's mind and he shuddered violently. That was just wrong.

"The newspapers just took a conspiracy theory and ran with it, Sonoko-nee-chan," said Conan in a chipper voice. "We are not father and son. I am also not the secret love-child of Kaitou KID."

"I am so relieved," Sonoko sighed and sagged against Ran like all fight had left her.

Still, Shinichi couldn't wait to talk to his thief tonight and see his miserable face. That should be fun, he was probably somewhere completely fuming about these false rumors and the fact that Kogoro was currently getting credit for his 'hard work', as KID would probably put it...

/break\

"What are you doing?!" Kogoro screeched annoyed.

"You will stay at my side! If you are KID, I will not leave you out of my sight."

Nakamori narrowed his eyes at Kogoro and snapped handcuffs onto their wrists, linking them together. Their foreheads nearly touched as they both leaned in to menace each other. Conan used the moment to slip away and find KID instead. As always, it wasn't hard for him to track down the thief and locate him on the roof, where he was pouting.

Shinichi approached KID with a smirk. "Hello... father..."

The noise KID made was hilarious. "This isn't funny, tantei-kun. My life and reputation are ruined."

Shinichi couldn't help but laugh, nearly doubling over. "I'm sorry, I just... That anyone could think Kogoro is capable of... Just, can you imagine, even for just a second?"

With a chuckle did KID sit down on the ground. After a moment, Shinichi approached him to sit down next to him, facing the city and dangling his legs over the edge. It was strange, this up high, sitting like that, it was dangerous. A few years ago, Shinichi might have been afraid of the danger of falling, but as long as KID was with him... he didn't fear heights, or falling. He knew he'd be caught.

"Nakamori-keibu chained himself to Kogoro-occhan," offered Shinichi to cheer the thief up.

"What do I do—o, tantei-kun?" KID pouted at him. "People think you're my son."

Again, Shinichi had to laugh. "I'm sorry, it's just... It's so ridiculous. I mean, we're both the same age but people think you are twenty years older than you are and people believe me to be ten years younger than I am. There is something inherently funny to that, don't you think?"

"No," Kaitou KID glowered. "I am mainly just miserable about this all. And that people would think you and I are related. That's horrible. Awful. Terrible."

"That bad to have a detective in your family?" teased Shinichi, nudging the thief gently.

"...No," there was a slight blush on KID's cheeks. "Just being related to you."

"Is it not enough that you and I know the truth?" Shinichi sighed, patting KID's thigh in awkward encouragement. "Like always, mh? We know the truth, even if no one else would believe it."

KID wet his lips, seeming nervous. "What if there is another truth that no one else would believe?"

Shinichi froze, hand still on the thief, suddenly acutely aware of the warmth radiating off KID. Aware of just how close they sat, their legs brushing against each other. Shinichi's ears felt hot.

"Really? Now you want to talk about this? I thought we had this... unspoken agreement not to talk about this until after," Shinichi tilted his head up to glare at the thief.

There was a soft smile on KID's lips as he wrapped an arm around Conan and pulled him closer against the thief's side. "I just wanted to make sure that we both know that truth."

"I'm a detective. I've figured out all the clues you leave about it a while ago," Shinichi huffed offended. "...Admittedly, it took me longer to figure out my own feelings, but you. You are not subtle and you are so easy to read, for me."

The thief laughed, a bright and happy sound, his body relaxing, as though the tension of the day and these dumb rumors all melted away at that admission. Still, Shinichi elbowed him softly, annoyed.

"You better not have any illegitimate children hidden away somewhere, thief. I'm not going to sign up to stepfatherhood once I get my body back," warned Shinichi, the barb falling flat.

"Nope," he popped the 'p' and leaned back some, smiling at the moon. "Though considering how you are with the Detective Boys, I think you'd make a great dad, tantei-kun."

"Oi, oi, oi, we haven't even been on a date yet, don't go ahead naming our children."

"Conan," KID tilted his head thoughtfully, as Shinichi blinked confused. "I think that'd have something poetic to it, wouldn't it? Kudou Conan, the son of Kaitou KID."

The heat returned to Shinichi's cheeks as he sputtered, trying to find words but coming up short. Had the stupid thief seriously already picked a name for their child? Though he had to admit there was a certain kind of poetry to that. Ridiculous thief, how had Shinichi fallen for him...?

~*~ The End ~*~

Author's note: This spiraled out of the "people think Shinichi is really Kaitou KID" because most people do assume KID to be Toichi's age and to still be the same KID, so what if people latched onto someone else always at heists, someone else who seems to have two faces (awake vs solving cases asleep) and what if out of that, they thought Conan to be KID's son? ANYWAY I had fun with this conspiracy theory. Much more fun than Kaito, that's for sure ;D