South Park Tales With Everyone!
Tale 4: Edgy Stan
Inspired by KNKA's (I wish I can write special Characters) "Felt Edgy" Art
…
STARS:
Goth Stan
…
Featuring:
1) Cyborg Kenny/Kenny McCormick (SfiFi) 2) Henrietta 3) Mintberry Crunch/Bradley Biggle (Heroes) 4) Pete 5) Michael 6) Firkle 7) Bloodrayne 8) Half God Adonis/Adonis (Superhero/Boy with Orange Shirt) 9) Wendy Testaburger 10) Adult Stan 11) Adult Kyle 12) Adult Cartman 13) Adult Adonis 14) Adult Wendy 15) Adult Kenny 16) Kyle Broflovski 17) Eric Cartman
…
In…
"Phone Destroyer: TV in a Phone!"
"Beta Chapter 1: We Don't Like You!"
…
Stan Marsh… A Boy with his life with everything down the drain. A Boy who not only lost every bit of innocence he had, but his dignity.
And right now, he was sipping on Milk Drinks, to get over the stench of dead cows off his nose and the reminder of fainted memories of Tegridy Farms. He hated that place and there's no way of going back.
He sighed as he was surely trying to get an Upset Stomach from too much Milk Drinking, but surely enough to make his guts spew out or make him choke on beverage.
He sighed as he shed a tear as he saw a text message from Wendy's little girl club.
"We don't like you! Leave!"
That was all she wrote, and then, Stan flopped his head onto the table.
The Goths appeared to look at Stan, and Stan began crying.
"Ugh! What an Emotional little bitch!" Henrietta groaned.
"Yeah, I remember when that little bitch joined the group!" Said Pete as he waved his colored bangs around to let loose his right eye. "What a lame!"
Stan sighed as his mind said he "DESERVED" it.
"AGAIN WITH THIS?!" Asked a random Orange Shirt youngster. "How many times do I have to teach you, conformists, about leaving others alone?!"
"Great, now the stranger is here!" Michael smoked his cigarette. "Next thing you know is that he has a Vamp Kid Boyfriend."
"I'M A GIRL! *HISS*" Bloodrayne hissed at the Goth Kids.
The Goths looked unfazed until Adonis kicked Firkle in the balls and threw him in the trash can!
"Life… is… pain…" Firkle grunted in the trash can.
Adonis looked behind as he turned Super! "You can go two ways, you punk! One; you walk away! Two; I walk on your face!"
"Great now he's doing Scooby-Doo references!" Pete frowned as they all took out their knives.
Adonis charged with "Superman Punch" and "Rock N Roller" to push every Goth over to a wall!
"Beat it! Take your planet with you! KamehameHA!!" Adonis tossed the Trash Can with Firkle inside to the Goths and smashed it to them!
The Goths laid there in their defeat…
"That's my future husband!~" Bloodrayne pat Adonis on his back.
"Anytime sweetheart." Adonis kissed Bloodrayne on her nose as he giggled, that was until he saw Stan.
"Great! Another one…" Said Bloodrayne as she hissed. "My faithful slave! DESTROY THAT GOTH!!"
"Wait a minute!" Adonis noticed something. "Stan?"
"Huh?" Stan woke up and saw the Goth Kids thrown left and right.
Mintberry Crunch appeared and saw the mess. "Oh no! Who taught my sister a heroic asswhooping?"
"That would be me." Adonis replied. "Take them home while we fix Stan."
"O - Okay..." Mintberry Crunch replied back as he took all the Goths back into their homes.
"Can't you see that I'm trying to waste my life away?!" Stan groaned.
"Stan, whoever took you down, is never gonna see their brightest of days…" Adonis replied.
"Oh, like how Wendy gets a happy life and I don't?!" Stan slammed the table.
"Stan…" Adonis sighed. "I don't know what that bitch said to you, but it doesn't matter, you're the most crucial part of the future… To your new generation… to your friends… to the ones who would raise a beer for you at your funeral…"
"What do you know?!" Stan rolled his eyes, like a Goth.
(And now here comes a Major Spin-off. Stop Reading if you haven't seen Post Covid, though THERE'S NOTHING SPOILING ABOUT THIS.)
"Because WE know." Said a familiar voice. It was an adult next to some adults and next to Kenny who was actually a Cyborg.
"Who are you?" Asked Stan.
"We are you, from the future." Said Adult Stan. "Look, just because you got turned down by some scholar dipshit with no knowledge of the joy in life, doesn't mean you should flush it down."
"Yeah, after all, you helped us become who we are." Said Adult Cartman.
"And don't you ever forget that, little buddy!" Adult Kyle patted Stan on his head.
"What's going on?!" Asked Wendy as she was walking with an Adult.
"Wendy! How many times do I have to tell you, no manipulating the future for the wellness of only yourself?!" Adult Stan scolded Adult Wendy.
"Well sorRY, Mister - I have good friends and I'm more important than all my other ones!" Adult Wendy frowned at the adults.
"Well, sorRY that we can't fix your cuntbag of a dad!" Said another voice.
"Goddamn you, Adonis…" Adult Wendy looked over at Adult Adonis who was busy ordering a Burger.
"Looks like when it comes to the long terms and who should REALLY get help, we don't like you! Now… RETURN TO THE FUTURE YOU FRENCH COCKSUCKING BITCH!!"
Wendy saw Adult Wendy being warped from the present back into the Future where everyone was, and suddenly, Cyborg Kenny grew up looking like his dad, a Trucker, but with an Orange shirt.
"Well, thank y'all for making my past a good one." Replied Adult Kenny.
"You're welcome, buddy." Said Adult Stan.
"Stan!" Kyle, Cartman and Kenny appeared running into the shop as they gasped, seeing Stan being Goth and the shop being a mess.
"It's okay, we're cool." Said Adult Stan.
"Who are you?!" Asked Cartman.
"No need to worry about it." Replied Adult Cartman. "Just go play with your friends, now, Stan."
"Um… Okay…" Stan paid his fees with some change and went to his group.
Wendy looked at the boys and then back at the men. "You guys are gross!"
"We don't like you! Shoo! You need Jesus! Get out of here!" Adult Adonis replied to Wendy.
Wendy marched away, knowing something about the future has been ruined.
"So… what now?" Asked Adult Kyle.
"Your order, gentlemen." A waiter replied, handing the group some burgers.
"Bon Appétit." Said Adult Adonis as he dug into his Swiss Burger.
…
"So what was that all about?" Asked Kyle.
Stan said nothing and hugged his 3 friends (except Adonis and Bloodrayne, since they're Human and Vamp Kid Romantic). He held them really tight and hoped nothing would separate them ever again.
"Stan, you got a little bit of cream on your lips." Kenny replied.
"Oh." Stan replied as he let go and wiped his mouth as he happily grinned knowing that, regardless, as long as he had his three friends, there's no need to cower when a group of girls say "we don't like you".
…
"The End."