=Normal POV=
(Thursday, 12/19/2019; 10:30 pm)
(Barbarchi City, Archipelago)
(Hunter's House)

Despite what took place an hour ago with Hunter admitting to Trayden that he was purposely rearranging his schedule to be available when Trayden was so that they could be able to hang out and get to know one another on the level that Hunter knew his five friends from school days, and his friends met after becoming a male stripper, but not leaving out that he found Trayden incredibly attractive and wanted to have sex with him, though, he'd never overstep boundaries or make makes without Trayden's consent; things had been going fine for the males. The background music was still going and the boys were on the couch enjoying the fire and chatting casually. Neither one of them really cared that it was 10:30 at night, and Hunter made it clear earlier that he wasn't worried about work tomorrow.

"So, can I be bold and ask about your journey to discovering you are gay?" Hunter questioned.

"In what sense are we referring to journey?" Trayden wondered.

"Well, everyone who decides they are attracted to both genders, or just the same as themselves, usually figures it out through an experience that made them wonder it in the first place. You mentioned having struggled with your sexuality, so I guess I'm curious as to your journey to deciding that you're gay," Hunter explained.

Trayden shrugged a little, relaxing. He didn't mind telling Hunter his struggle with his sexuality, because Hunter probably had been where he was now and might be able to help Trayden settle into things more. "Most of my teenage years were me being straight. I did find guys good looking, in the sense of nice hair style, outfits, smile…But I can't say I was attracted to them if that makes sense,"

"Absolutely," Hunter nodded. "That's about average for males and females. You can find someone good looking, admiring certain features without having an attraction to them," He added and motioned for Trayden to continue.

"I was probably fifteen when I started dating, but only girls as I felt, at the time, I was straight. Things were nice in that time, having normal relationships and whatnot. I was fine with hugs, holding hands, cuddling, and kissing girls. The struggle began when I was seventeen, maybe closer to eighteen. This was around the time that I'd met my friends, and what got me questioning things, but not like crazy or tearing my hair out over it, was the fact Ethan would flirt with me," Trayden explained. "Nothing too serious, just playful mostly and we all knew he was bisexual. Ethan said he did it to all girls and guys he found good looking, so I never found it odd that he did it to me and not Shane, Fisher, or Tuffnut. This was all bearing in mind that Ethan did this knowing I was straight,"

"Makes sense. Guys and girls who are comfortable with their orientation tend to put themselves out there in a subtle, innocent fashion. They'll test their limits with friends, without asking outright if someone is straight, bi, gay, or lesbian. Also, some just do the whole joke thing, flirting with someone they know is straight, but implying what fun it could be if they weren't," Hunter informed. "Anyway, your story?"

"Well, all of Ethan's flirting, while he knew I was straight, didn't bother me, and the part that made me question things was how shy and bashful I'd get when he did it. You know where I'm going with this?" Trayden looked at Hunter, who nodded in understanding.

"The sudden feeling of liking the flirting outside of playful? Becoming shy, glancing towards the ground, blushing at compliments?" Hunter confirmed as Trayden nodded to him that he was right.

"Yeah, so that's what made me start wondering if I wasn't straight. I didn't think too much on it, as I said. Ethan was only, and still, just a good friend. The thought of being bisexual or even gay lingered, but nothing else really gave me reason to question it more. When flirting, or being hit on started happening beyond Ethan, the thoughts started to bounce around more because it was different to get it from strangers. Around nineteen, I'd say, I decided to go with being bisexual. While I found girls attractive, I did the same with males. Only in attraction, though. I never experimented with guys, I just saw them as attractive as how we said earlier. Attraction, not…Admiring," Trayden revealed.

"That's usually how it goes, being able to distinguish the line of…And this is blunt, admiring how someone looks and being attracted to someone of the same gender. Attraction is more to the sexual side of things, the effects someone can have on you. Not saying it's actual sex, but I'm sure you know what I'm going for," Hunter stated.

"Mmhm," Trayden replied. "Again, never acted on it. I just left it at bisexual and maybe after two months, told my parents and siblings, then friends. I never really put myself out there, I was busy with work to save for a car, eventually moving out. You know, bigger priorities than dating. Around that my point, my last relationship ended when decided to go to the Berk school for senior year. We'd been together for like, eight months prior to the move. Tried to make it work for a month or so and broke up mutually because of distance," Trayden explained.

"And you mentioned starting to date in general at fifteen?" Hunter questioned.

"Seems to be the normal, dating in high school," Trayden smiled and shrugged.

"I wasn't knocking it," Hunter chuckled. "Alright, so seventeen or eighteen-ish you started to question your sexuality and by nineteen decided that you were bisexual?" He asked and Trayden nodded to him. "Pretty average, and again, no set time for anyone when it comes to these things. Everyone moves at their own pace to figure stuff out and make decisions," He reminded. "What led to going full gay? I recall you saying that you settled with only being attracted to men because of a situation last year,"

Trayden looked down a little as Hunter already picked up that this likely wasn't something Trayden wanted to talk about. Taking a deep breath, Trayden kept his eyes down, playing with the mouth of the beer bottle. "It was because between the time of accepting I was bi until last year, I wasn't so much attracted to both as I was shifting from one to the other. Like being in the middle. From nineteen to twenty-three, I started losing the attraction to women. It was slow and didn't hit until the situation happened…" He mumbled.

"Did you have an encounter with a male that made it clear?" Hunter wondered, not wanting to assume something that he was already considering given the words Trayden has said in losing attraction to women.

Trayden shook his head a few times. "No…" He replied, and then paused. "I had gotten with this girl who was in a lot of my classes during senior year through a random run in at my job. She'd come to the bar while I was working, it was a slow night. I guess she was supposed to be meeting some guy she matched with on a dating site, but he stood her up. You know how the bartender persona goes, get drinks, be social…" Hunter nodded to him. "Well, I guess she was doing the dating site thing to get back in the game after taking some time to herself because of a three-year relationship ending just a couple months before. The ex apparently led her to believe they'd be having a romantic night and getting engaged, but he broke up with her,"

Giving himself a minute, Trayden took a breath to keep going. "Keeping the year and a half long story short, I realized I had lost my attraction to women when we went to have sex and I couldn't get hard. Or rather, I had been hard to start and unable to stay such. Obviously, it just caused a fight as to why because it wasn't the first time I had trouble with it and then a bunch of other things got thrown into the argument. But the last thing she said to me after packing her things that were there was that she couldn't believe she gave up a year and a half of her life to someone she never had a future with because he was gay. I was going to deny it, and remind her she knew I was bisexual despite never having been with a guy before in a relationship or bed with them…But she cut me off with the remark that if I were actually bi, I'd still be attracted to her and able to get an erection," He explained.

"Well, as true as that may be…" Hunter started as Trayden arched a brow. "She shouldn't have been so cruel with how she made that point," He added as Trayden nodded and understood. "I'm guessing it's safe to say, that was not only the end of the relationship, but also your starting point to figuring out if it was the truth that you were gay?"

"Basically," Trayden replied. "I mean, her words stuck with me and I suppose I subconsciously accepted that it had to be the case. That over the time of being bisexual, I actually was just becoming gay slowly," He shrugged and glanced over at Hunter. "But-,"

"It took time for you to actually see that you were gay, and accept it before revealing it to others?" Hunter inquired.

"Yeah. Like I assumed she had to be right because as she was ranting to herself about should have seen the signs, I guess I was going over everything myself. Not just the issues with her, but all the relationships since calling myself bisexual," Trayden informed.

"You had other relationships before her?" Hunter wondered as Trayden nodded. "Did you have erection problems with them?"

"Most of them never even really got as far as sex, but I did have sex once around seventeen and that's kind'a where the questioning started," Trayden answered. "And I had sex after the questioning, but didn't have a lot of issues until after nineteen when I'd called myself bi. Obviously, as I said, was actually going from one to the other. Even though I could perform...It never felt right to me and that became more obvious when I struggled to get turned on by women. And with my ex, as I mentioned, I tried for her, but I just...Couldn't. I guess I always questioned it, there had always been things that made me sit back later on and as why did that happen."

"You mean things that you didn't realize then, but did while thinking back on situations now that didn't make sense and you just shoved off as nothing?" Hunter asked.

"In a nutshell. Again, they were small instances…But still ones I could recall," Trayden responded. "And in all the confusion to think about if I was gay or not, there was the general break up to deal with. I get why it ended, but it doesn't change that she wasn't the only one who had been in it for eighteen months. And the way it ended still sucked. Then there was also still having to work, see friends and family…You know, life still happens even while you're trying to figure things out," He mentioned.

"Ah, yes. The ancient old saying that life goes on," Hunter smiled. "But obviously, you did come to terms with being gay? Recently, if I remember that we touched on this topic at Arc Burger?"

"Mmhm," Trayden nodded. "So, I guess I shouldn't say last year as it happened just back in February of this year," He laughed a little.

"When did you settle with it, if you don't mind me asking?" Hunter questioned curiously.

"I dunno…September? Yeah, that sounds right. I let our friends drag me to a costume party and had a fun time trying to stay unaroused around a good portion of the bisexual and gay guys who were wearing the equivalent to some of your revealing outfits when you strip on stage. The ones that sit under your regular clothes," Trayden admitted, blushing.

"Oh, you mean the leather coverings, thongs, and easy to rip shirts?" Hunter realized.

"Yes, thank you," Trayden nodded. "But yeah, got home that night and flopped on my bed with the full understanding that while there were girls dressed the same way, something sexually appealing…I was only interested in checking out the guys and it made sense that the only way for that to be the case, then I was, rather am, gay,"

"So just about three months ago?" Hunter chuckled and Trayden nodded, blushing. "Hey, it's cool. What's important is that despite the years of struggle…You made it through and have found a permanent part of who you are and will always be,"

"It's hard to be yourself when there are so many different views on right and wrong," Trayden reminded. "I guess that's the part that makes me so nervous to everything," He admitted.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing my uncle told me, and I hope it helps you like it did me," Hunter shifted more to face Trayden, who looked right at him to pay attention. "You are who you are. You are not me, you are not your parents, and you are not your friends. You are not the rest of the world. You are you, so be yourself. Embrace who you are and everything about you because if you can't do that that, how can anyone else? The people who love, support, and accept you are the ones who will never abandon or judge you. And that's because you chose to be yourself with them, so they can only have ever gotten to know the real you. You stay true to yourself and fuck anyone who tells you to be anything but that,"

"Wow…" Trayden managed to get out after taking a moment to find his words. "That's deep, insightful, and helpful," He added afterward.

Hunter leaned back with a smile. "That was the point," He said, then took a drink from his beer bottle. "It's what I got told after being kicked out and disowned because Greg noticed how miserable and reserved I was," He went on as Trayden looked at him softly. "But that was to be expected with what happened. Greg is gay too, so he understood everything,"

"Since we're on the topic…What was your journey like?" Trayden decided to ask. "Is…Fifteen when you learned you were gay?"

"Hm? Oh, Gods no," Hunter laughed a bit. "To be completely honest, I was one of those people who just knew," He added.

"You just…Knew that you were gay?" Trayden questioned, surprised. "You didn't have to go through wondering why, struggling with it?"

Hunter shook his head. "I didn't come out until I was fifteen…Well, Gregory knew without me ever having to tell him. I came out to my parents at fifteen and intended to tell my friends too…You know how that went," He smiled and shrugged a bit. "But I knew from a young age that I was attracted to males,"

"How young?" Trayden blinked.

"Pfft. Maybe ten or eleven years old. I'd go as far as even say nine," Hunter revealed. "Most people these days believe a child so young wouldn't even know what sexual orientation is, but while they don't know to identify as gay, bi, or straight…They know how they feel. Gregory knew based on things I said when I slept over his apartment when my parents went on a date night. We were just eating pizza and watching cartoons. I'd asked him if it was okay for girls and boys to like one another, and he said that was normal. It jumped to him asking if I liked someone at school and I said no because I didn't, but then he wondered why I'd ask that question. I told him that while I was waiting for him to pick me up, I'd overheard a talk the principal was having with the school counselor, a student in my class, and his parents,"

Hunter paused while Trayden just listened, completely interested in the story. "The conversation I had heard was that this child apparently got caught kissing another boy under the playscape during recess. The boy claimed that he and the other boy liked one another. I clearly heard that the adults in the room agreed the boys were just kids and didn't understand such things and the recommendation was getting the poor kid in therapy," Hunter explained. "So I asked Gregory again if it was okay that the two boys liked one another and he was quiet for a moment, then smiled and said that it wasn't wrong at all. People just believed that because they think it's wrong for two people of same gender to have feelings for one another. Greg even used himself as an example, saying that he liked boys and didn't care what anyone said because it wasn't their decision on who he liked or wanted to be with," Hunter continued.

Hunter took a breath, still relaxed. "It was probably not more than a week later when my parents had some thing to do and Gregory watched me and two friends, not of the five you know, for a playdate. We were having a picnic in the backyard, the girl kept trying to sit close to me and I'd move away, but eventually, she kissed me. I never did anything back and when she pulled away, I asked her why she did it. Her response was liking me. Now, as Gregory came out to hear all this, the boy decided to copy his sister and kiss me and ended up kissing him back. Afterward, I asked him why he did it and he said that people who like each other kiss. So since his sister kissed me because she liked me, then he'd do it too and know that he liked me as well,"

"What did Greg do?" Trayden wondered.

"Nothing, not until later when my friends went home and I was waiting for my parents to come get me. Greg and I were in the living room on the couch and he asked me why I kissed the boy back, but not the girl. So I told him that I liked them both because they were my friends, but I felt different when the boy kissed me. The girl was nice, but when she kissed me, I felt the same way I always did. When the boy kissed me, something was different and it made me want to kiss him back. Greg questioned if I liked the kiss with the boy over the one with the girl, and I nodded to him. Greg then asked if any girls in my class made me feel the way I did when kissing the boy, I told him no, so he asked if other boys in class made me feel different around them using examples in do I get happier, excited, think they are cute and if one kissed me at random like that day, would I kiss them back. I said yes," Hunter shrugged calmly.

"And then over the years of that liking boys differently than liking girls remained? Eventually learning that it meant you were gay, in knowing the term for what it was called to be attracted to the same gender as yourself?" Trayden assumed, based on everything he heard.

"Basically. Greg told me that it was okay to feel the way I did, and don't ever believe what other people about it because it was not wrong. Also, he said that to avoid a situation like my friend who had to start seeing someone because his parents and teachers didn't believe a child at my age could understand the difference, we should keep it from my parents. So we did and I'd say it was probably the start of February before I turned fifteen when I was at Greg's for something…I think he'd picked me up for an appointment, but over dinner, I asked him if remembered the talk we had when I was nine/ten-ish years old about liking guys and he said he did, then asked why. I told him that my feelings hadn't changed and that I knew I was gay without a doubt. He told me he suspected I'd end up bisexual or gay as I got older because of that day. I asked him if I should tell my parents, and he said it was entirely my decision," Hunter mentioned, then finished off his beer.

"I knew from my friend having to go to therapy years prior, and how the world was regarding being attracted to someone of the same gender was not something everyone agreed with. I knew that my parents could accept it instantly, need some time to settle and then we'd talk where they make sure I'm sure, then tell me they love me no matter what, or that they could completely freak out. I'd done my research on coming out to family and friends, and the only thing I didn't know was how they would react," Hunter paused. "But bottom line is that I've basically always been gay and never really needed to think about or settle with it," Hunter smiled.

"I feel like I could learn a lot from you about being gay…Since you're all open and forward," Trayden blushed a bit.

Hunter sat up and kissed Trayden's cheek. "You can ask or talk to me about anything. I'll never judge you, never lie, and always give it to you pretty blunt," He informed. "I'm fine with being your friendly, flirty, gay life guide, handsome," Trayden blushed more, but smiled. "And understand that there are no dumb questions, or limits to what you'd like to learn. Okay?" Trayden nodded. "Seriously, nothing is too personal. Don't forget that. Now, we still hanging, or you ready to call it a night?"

"I'm down if you are," Trayden replied.

"Then let's keep it going," Hunter smiled and Trayden nodded.