Notes:

I have no plans to bring Freya, in my series, back to life. I know there are a lot of people reincarnating, and I know Freya is someone who we would all love to see and her relationship with Merlin. However, for me personally, I have a conflict of interest in bringing Freya back. She is an amazing character, Merlin's first love, and pretty much the only love in the series. I love her character. Absolutely love her character; trust me, there is no doubt in my mind that I would love for her and Merlin to be friends and be a couple in my story, but it's just not going to happen.

For me, I believe that Merlin truly loves her. And I believe his love for her is so strong that it may outplay his love for Arthur. Whether you believe the love between Merlin and Arthur is romantic or platonic, it doesn't really matter since it's so freaking close either way. I just don't want to downplay the love Merlin has when Arthur comes back, and I feel if I bring back Freya and make her alive, not like the ghost she is, I feel it would just take away from that, and I don't want that in my story. Some people may disagree with me and say that it won't mess anything up, but in my mind, it would mess it up, and that would ruin it for me, and since I have to write it, I don't want to mess it up.

/

{Halloween Special}

(could be cannon to my story)

One Halloween... sometime before Merlin took his 500-year slumber in Azkaban...

The waters of the lake gently rippled as the wind carried itself over its surface. The trees shook with the breeze, making a lullaby with their leaves. The grass freshly wet from the shower earlier in the day made the grass greener and more vibrant than ever. The small bit of sand that one would hesitate to call a beach was a sinkable foothold for the man standing in its grains. The fish swarmed to the bread chunks that were being gently tossed into the water, nibbling and fighting for the biggest pieces.

The man's midnight ocean blue eyes would captivate anyone with the moon mirrored within them. The white and pale yellow moon was huge in the sky above the lake; it was a full moon celebrating the end of the month on Samhain. The lake was covered in a light rolling fog, almost as if setting the mood on this rather spooky day of the year. The man's curly raven-black hair was tussled every now and then as he ran his fingers through it.

With a deep sigh, the man tossed the last bits of bread from his pocket and sat down in the wet sand. He pulled off his carrier bag and drew out a half-drunk bottle of brandy. Today was a somber day for the man; every Samhain was a day of remembrance, a day to remember all the friends he lost and, ultimately, how he failed his king. It was a sad day he usually spent alone at this lake. The man's blue eyes traced the island in the middle of the lake as he took a long pull of the bottle. Another deep sorrowful sigh left his chapped lips as he just stared out into nothing.

Today was a day when the veil between the spirit world and the human world was at its thinnest, and it was normally a day of mourning where wizards and lucky muggles could catch a glimpse of their missed loved ones. But not Merlin; his friends never seemed to be able to cross over; it was like something was stopping them, or that their souls weren't in the spirit world ...but that would be weird...where else could they be?

But either way, they never could see nor console this old soul who sits by the lake every Halloween. And so Merlin was often times alone every time he visited the grave of his best friend.

As he was sitting on the sand, taking in the cool fall breeze, letting it numb his body as frigid as his heart, he saw something particular happen in the water. The lake seemed at a standstill, the fish had left, and the trees stopped shaking. The breeze was almost non-existent suddenly, and it made the slightly drunk man look around.

The water was bubbling as if there was a great disturbance beneath the surface. Merlin dropped his bottle as a head suddenly surfaced from the lake, followed by a body, and as her body raised, her eyes slowly opened.

Merlin's face was purely shocked as he thought he must've been dreaming, having fallen asleep after getting drunk, or that he was just so drunk he was hallucinating.

As someone he'd never thought to see again had risen from the lake.

"Freya," Merlin whispered in a voice that sounded out of breath.

"Freya!" Merlin spoke louder as he jumped up from the wet sand as it clung to his trousers, not that he cared.

Merlin cared for nothing as his eyes trained on the ethereal woman of his dreams who was floating above the lake waters; he didn't even pay mind to the freezing icy mid-fall waters as he stepped into the lake, almost running to see if she was real.

Freya descended into the lake, meeting Merlin as he walked until he was waist-deep in the water.

Merlin was frozen just before her, he was so close that if he just extended his hand a few inches in front of himself, he would touch her, but he was scared. He was so terrified that she wasn't real. So scared that if he reached out, she wouldn't be there. That this could be a figment of his alcohol-addled mind.

Merlin stood there, just taking in her features.

She looked as beautiful as the day he last saw her, still wearing the clothes he brought her so they could escape Camelot together. Merlin's eyes teared up, remembering their plan, their plan to run away together, their plan to be happy and to love each other.

Merlin broke inside, even if this was a dream or a drunken hallucination; he started to cry, crumbling into the water below him.

"Freya...I've missed you, I've.." Merlin mumbled, not able to finish as he just cried, staring at her hands which were moving towards him.

"My love," Freya said, causing Merlin to flinch as he stared into her brown eyes.

Merlin brought a sad smile to his lips, mirroring the happy one on Freya's face.

"Freya." He said softly, reaching out desperately, hoping that he would or could feel something.

And as true as the existence of magic, their hands clasped together.

Merlin laughed, looking at their interlocked fingers.

"Freya!" He shouted, pulling her into a crushing hug.

Merlin was laughing with tears racing down his cheeks.

"You're here, you really here, oh how I've missed you, my love."

Freya just laughed a cheerful laugh relishing in Merlin's embrace.

"I've longed to see you as well."

Merlin pulled back, really taking her in. He almost couldn't believe the hands that were touching her shoulders as he looked.

"Freya," Merlin repeated over and over, just so happy.

Merlin was on cloud nine. There was no experience happier than this, he thought. It had been a thousand years. A thousand years since all his friends and family had passed and left him all alone. Kilgharah had lasted a while longer, but soon, he, too, left.

The only relic other than himself was the baby Athusia, and she liked her freedom, so he saw her seldom.

It had felt like an eternity since he had felt so much emotion.

He wanted to do a dance or run a marathon with all this newfound adrenaline in his system.

It was like the dim life he was living was lit anew.

Merlin surged forward and planted a soft kiss on Freya's lips as he didn't know what else to do with his joy.

Freya giggled softly, returning the kiss and holding Merlin tightly in her arms.

Merlin didn't need to speak as his hug spoke volumes as he held Freya tighter and tighter.

Eventually, Merlin's feet gave out, and he sunk into the water. Freya followed, neither, noticing the icy waters as they were warmed by their love for one another.

"Freya? Is it time?" Merlin asked hopefully.

Freya frowned, and that was answer enough.

But Merlin could handle waiting. All he had been doing was waiting. And now, with Freya next to him, life would no longer be lonely, and he could find the will to live again.

"Merlin, my love," Freya said, still frowning.

"It's okay, I know. I know it's not time yet; sorry for asking." Merlin said, sighing.

"But it's okay; I have you. I'm so happy, Freya, I...I'm just so happy." Merlin continued hugging her again, but the frown didn't leave her lips.

"No, Merlin, I...I can't leave the lake." Freya revealed the sad truth of her return.

Merlin's head whipped up as he pulled back from the hug.

"What? You are real! I can hold you. I can touch you; this isn't a dream...Freya...please." Merlin cried, gripping her arm as if he was afraid to let go.

Freya pried his hand from her arm and held his hand gently.

"Yes, I am here. It's no dream, but I am still but a spirit. I can see you whenever; I promise I'll meet you whenever but I can not step out of Avalon; it's not my destiny to do so." Freya said as it saddened her to hurt Merlin.

She didn't want to say any of this, but if he tried to take her from the lake, he would feel even worse despair then.

"Damn destiny! Damn it to hell! Why why can't I have anything? Why am I still being punished? Were a thousand years not enough? How long, Freya? How much longer must I wait?" Merlin said, crumbling in sadness.

"I don't know; I'm so sorry, Merlin, I'm so sorry," Freya said, gripping his hands tightly and tearing up.

Merlin sighed deeply and looked at Freya.

"No, don't apologize; you are as much of fate's pawn as I. So don't apologize. I love you, Freya, and I always will. I miss you so much, and even getting to see you like this and having the opportunity to see you many more times is a gift enough. Don't cry." Merlin said, wiping her tears and kissing her again.

While he let his hopes and dreams sore when he touched her, he returned to reality and just chose to cherish this moment rather than despair over what could not be fixed.

"I love you as well, Merlin. And I've missed you just as much. I've been watching over you for so long; I'm so glad to hold you again." Freya said, hugging Merlin.

Merlin smiled and hugged her back. This wasn't perfect, nor something he ever expected to have to happen today, but there was nothing better than holding Freya in his arms and being able to talk and kiss her; he felt as if he gained something wonderful the more, he sat in the cold lake.

He hadn't felt so loved and full in years.

He found himself smiling randomly as Freya talked and spoke of Avalon.

As the sun was rising into the sky, turning the dark world back to a colorful and vibrant one, you could more clearly see the state of Merlin, who was affected by the icy waters and cool fall temperatures. His chapped lips turned blue, and he was shivering even if the man himself didn't notice.

His skinny frame was soaked fully by sitting in the lake waters. Freya was as pristine as ever, seemingly human by the touch, but more unnatural in nature as she was not bothered by the cold, and as the sun rose, her body seemed almost translucent as the sun elevated higher and higher.

Soon her body became incorporeal, and Merlin's fingers slipped through her hands.

Merlin reached out again and again as his hands continued to slip through her visage.

"What's happening? Why can't I touch you anymore? Freya!" Merlin said, panicking.

"I must go back; it was because of Samhain that I was able to be touched and that I could come in this form. But call on me whenever; I will always answer your call Merlin, my love, and every Samhain visit me like this when the veil is at its thinnest, and we can hold each other again." Freya said as her body was slowly descending down into the lake as if she couldn't stop it.

"I love you!" Merlin said before it was too late.

"And I you," Freya responded, smiling before disappearing under the murky water.

~Fin~

/

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed it! I hadn't read this in a week. I'm crying fuckk.

As you all know, I will now be entering the scheduled Hiatus.

I just need to get my other series to a place where I can regularly upload them alongside this fic then I will return.

(side note about my life... I went shopping yesterday, and I went to a grocery store that normally closes early, but I made it in time today, and I bought all my favorite Asian food. I got shrimp dumplings and pork buns. I also got red bean buns and soup dumplings to try. I also bought some milk bread, which is just apparently the bread that makes up the outside of the pork bun, no real taste, but that was my dinner because I didn't realize that when I made it. I got some melon-flavored ice cream, and some jelly drinks too. I bought a lot. I also got my mom and my grandma dumplings and other stuff they wanted, so all in all, I spent the most I've ever spent in one of those stores, lol. I also learned I need to buy a new steamer (like for dumplings) because I'm currently sharing the one I have between two houses with my grandma. So I want another one, but it looks like I gotta go back to an Asian market for one cause amazon ain't doing it this time. Anyway, I had fun yesterday until my mom went nuts cause she couldn't figure out how her computer worked. I tried to help till she started threatening me; then I said you're on your own and let her figure it out on her own. She just wanted to yell at me and not listen and expected me to just sit and take it, and I don't do that shit anymore. Lol, get fucked, I guess. So yep, that was yesterday!)