Understanding the Wild Decision
Percy still in an embarrassed state almost didn't hear Pan calling him. He looked at the god of the Wild, who gestured him to come in front of him. Pushing his blush and mortification away, he walked toward the god before stopping in front of him.
Now being closer to the god, he can see clearly how the god truly look. His white hair made him look like an old man, an adept description for every single god out there, it just he looked that part. The fur on his goat leg looked like it had been covered by dust, from how grey it is.
But it his eyes that truly caught his attention. His sky blue-eyes reflected back his own sea green orbs, but its not the colour, or how mesmerizing the eyes that had him focusing on it. It the tiredness that lay hidden, only compromised by the 'window to the soul'.
His eyes, calming as it is, shown weariness, fatigue from the world itself. The god looked like he was second away from resting for a long time, but forced himself to stay awake, almost like he was waiting for something. Or somebody.
As Pan looked at the demigod, his gaze turned into a focused stare, looking at him like a puzzle to decipher, studying him for lack of better words to phrase it. He in turn, decided to do the same with the boy.
He returned the boy stares with his own. The boy didn't even flinch, seemingly happy that he can look at Pan's eyes. Weird. Pan pushed the thought away, instead focusing into the boy's sea green eyes. What he saw surprised the god of the Wild.
He thought the boy will have the same look as other demigods. Even though it was 2000 years when he last interacted with a demigod, he thought that he will share the same thing all demigods have. Pride in themselves, urge to prove their worth and certain impulsiveness that they seem to have.
Instead, he saw a calm person, someone who is hard to be affected by others taunt and provoking. He also someone who can change from being calm to violent, only if someone dear to him was hurt. His temperament similar to the ocean, can change from a calm sea to a raging storm in mere seconds. Befitting considering his parentage.
He also saw an inquisitive person. While there were some curious demigods who seek to discover many things, it mostly children of Athena. However, by the way he looked for answer while 'deciphering' Pan had made Pan think that he may be more curious than even the most inquisitive child of Athena.
Nonetheless, the most shocking thing about him was how mature he is. Of course, demigods mature faster than normal mortals, for their own survival. Being mature helps them survive in the dangerous world that is mythological world.
While they might be mature, they will still have a bit of childishness remaining during their younger years. Even in adulthood, most if not all demigods will abandon common sense in favour of their pride and stubbornness. However, the way he looks, Pan absolutely believes that the son of Poseidon will not do such thing.
He is more mature than even adults, probably even more than some old men and women who already experienced the worst in life. The way he looks, he can almost be mistaken for a god who prefer a child form.
And that what scared him. The son of Poseidon may not be a god, but his demeanour is similar to wise god like Hestia. Even in the face of death, he will not panic or even be frustrated, he will look at the danger and calmly solve it. That is what Pan believe Percy will do should he faced the scenarios.
He looked away first. The look that the son of Poseidon gave him surprised and worried him, for how can a young demigod like him can have that look if not for experiencing something horrible and have to grow up faster because of it.
"I won our staring match," His high opinion of the demigod shattered, as Percy proclaimed his victory over a non-existing competition, that they did not involve in.
Maybe Pan overthinking it. The boy clearly powerful, he did break the Mist illusion he, a god, made. Not to mention, he was able to sense him in the first place, not impossible (he did have to get his chosen satyr to come here somehow) but definitely hard.
The boy is definitely mature. But not as exaggerating as he made it out to be. He wandered if he misinterpreted the boy's nature. He might be right of a part of the boy's personality, but he might be wrong with the other part.
(The Fates laughed at the god of the Wild. Everything he said about Percy is true, though he might not be that level yet. What Pan thought about Percy earlier is correct, it just it will take some growing up before he ticks every box in the description Pan came up with)
"Actually, I have a question," His thought was broken by the voice in front of him.
Looking at the demigod, he decided to humour the demigod, nodding at the demigod to continue. He wandered, what kind of question will he asked?
"Why do you which to die so much?" The question however was so unexpected and true, punch him in the gut. His eyes quivered, his body trembled as he trying to comprehend how the boy knew what he was planning to do without him telling him.
"How did you know?" He couldn't help but ask, unable to understand how the boy can know such thing.
Percy gained a complementing look on his face. He looked at the god before asking him a question of his own.
"Before I answer that, can I make some kind of chair or something, I kinda hurting my neck looking up, and my legs are getting tired from all the walking and standing," He asked sheepishly.
Pan had a thought before nodding. It will not be a trouble for him to do such thing. But before he could make the boy something to sit on, the boy raised his hand, palm upward, before the ground started to shift.
As the earth tremble, a platform of earth rises, lifting him till he is at an eye level with the god. A certain part continued to rise until it formed into something, a chair it seems. He sat on it, prompting the god to do the same.
As he sits down, he looked at the demigod palming his hand on the chair, looking like he was pushing something, which turn out to be true as the platform lowered and stopped as he, once again, reach and eye level with him.
They did not talk, neither unsure If they should talk first. Pan thought was does he ask the question again or wait until the boy talks? Similarly, Percy wandered if he should wait for the god to ask him again or should he speak without prompting.
The two remain in an uncomfortable silence until Percy decided to speak first.
"When you asked how I know that you wanted to die, I know because I look you in the eye and saw all the sign. Your show that you are tired, that you wanted to rest so I asked myself why you didn't just rest until I remembered you are a god. Gods, as far as I know, don't rest the same way mortals does.
You probably too tired and wanted to rest but you can't do it the way god do normally. The only way you can finally rest is probably to die." Pan cannot believe his ears. The boy just told him of his own plan like he knew it. 'How?' He thought.
Of course, he didn't know the full reason and his explaining is really vague, but he knew that Pan planned to fade away, he just didn't know it was when the satyr that will continues his duty arrive, healing the Wild from the hands of the human. Instead of waiting for him to cleanse and nourish nature, the satyrs should take it in their hand to ensure it will stay protected and unspoiled.
Instead of going into the rabbit hole that is his thought on his beloved satyrs waiting for him like idiots, he looked at the demigod and smiled, thinking he should answer the boy's question.
"Yes, I was planning to fade away. It is my plan to wait here until a satyr brave enough to walk in caves and underground, and noble enough to carry my torch to protect all what is remaining of nature from being destroyed." He explained to the son of Poseidon, wandering what will he do when he got his answer.
Meanwhile, Percy was a bit confused. Why did Pan explained everything to him? Its not like he as- ooh. Percy blushed when he realised, that yes, he did asked Pan why he wanted to die. (Pan was confused on why did the boy suddenly become so red. Did he embarrass himself or something?)
Percy, pushing his blood flow down, decided to continue pushing on his question. Why did a god like Pan wishing to fade, as he said it? What on earth will cause him to make such decision?
"Why? Why did you wished to die so much?" Percy asked, his gaze locking with god's own stare.
"Why, I have my own reason but it is rather complicated. I'm not sure you will underst- "Whatever Pan wanted to said was cut off by an irate demigod.
"Don't say that I will not understand," His voice differs so much from before. Instead of curiosity or mirth, now it sounded sharp, almost venomous. But instead of being the types of poison that will kill you, instead it's the one that will cause irritation if not treated.
However, Pan was not disillusioned. His word might not be coated with deadly poison yet, but it will change if he did not satiate the boy.
"I might be young, I might not understand a single thing, but that don't mean you should dismiss me like that. Maybe I will understand, maybe I won't. Don't say weak excuses like that if you just don't want me to now," Pan's previous assessment on the boy might actually be right. He is more mature than some of the wisest gods.
He let out a sigh. Telling him will not be a problematic. In fact, with how wise the demigod is, he probably be troubled but accepting of his decision. Letting him know will unlikely backfire, if he made the boy promised to not say anything about him of course.
"Alright, I will tell." Pan said with a weary smile.
"But you have to swear that you will not tell anyone of my whereabout, you hear me?"
Percy nodded at the god's word. Somehow, it assured Pan, believing the son of Poseidon will not tell anyone, even if he did not swear by the Styx.
"Why I planning to fade away is that I have long been planning to, 2000 years ago in fact. I want to let my satyrs to continue maintaining nature in my stead, protecting it with their abilities, instead of depending on my divine power.
That's why 2000 years ago, I ordered a satyr to shout about my passing, so the world we will know about it, and the satyrs will safeguard the Wild, protecting it the way I can never do as a god.
Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned. The satyrs, being stubborn, did not accept my passing, thinking it is the lies of human to plunder my domain. Human believing it, destroyed nature, causing great harm to it.
I don't blame you child. You were not even born when all of this happen. But the greed of the mortals will one day harm them all. But I digress.
I chose to fade so my satyr will continue my job, so they will not depend on me and protect the last vestiges of the Wild with the own hands. Continuing to believe a weaken god like myself will hurt them more.
Its time for the satyrs to move on and do thing themselves. When the satyr with the same spirit as myself come, I will tell him everything, give him a portion of my power and then I will fade away."
Percy listened to the god's speech and cannot help but be impressed. The god actually accepting of his fate. From what he heard from his father and uncle Lelantos; they say many gods cannot accept such thing happen to them. Pan seem accepting of his fate that it's moving a part of him.
Besides, Pan's speech hit home more than the god even knew. He always wondered if the decision he has to make will cause more harm than good, and the god had help him resolve it, albeit unknowingly.
Then he thought of what Pan said and decided to ask him about it.
"Pan, you said your going to give a part of your power to that satyr. Do you even have enough power to even do that?"
Pan looked thoughtfully to the demigod. He was able to focus on that part instead of questioning him more. Pan will not dismiss this gift. If the boy didn't plan on asking him more, he will not push him to ask. He didn't plan on explaining himself the second time.
"Well, think of my power as a rock with gems on them." As he explained it, he could not help cringe a bit at his comparison. He trudged on. Even if its horrible, he already stuck with it, so might as well finish it.
"The rock has many gems attached to it, but it almost ran out of gem. That is my current state. But, inside the rock is more gems, but get to them, the rock has to be destroyed. That represent when I'm fading. The gems inside the rock are the energy I will be releasing once I fade. Understand?"
Percy understands all of it. The metaphor was interesting, weird, but interesting. He decided to summarise every thing back to Pan, so the god will hopefully correct his wrong assumption.
"So, your fading is not because of your domain destruction, but because of you wanting the satyrs to get their hands dirty protecting nature. That's the gist of it, right?" When Pan nodded at his statement he decided to continue on.
"You tired not because of human destroying nature, but it's a part of it. You tired because satyrs keep praying at you, hopping you will save everything. You don't want them to find you, only to disappoint them even further." Ignoring the open mouth of a shocked Pan, he continued talking.
"I can understand why you did everything. In the end, it will be better if you still alive and guide the satyrs down the path you choose, but it already reaching this point so whatever you planning is probably the best now." Pan is beyond shocked, the bo- no the god incarnation, there is no way he actually that young, had explained his intention in one sentence. One sentence!
He also, somehow, knew the object of his current distress. The satyrs' belief had stopped him from fading but it did not stop him from being a little annoyed at his subjects' stubbornness. He, as Percy eloquently said it, did not want to disappoint them. He wanted to ask him how he know but apparently, he didn't finish talking just yet. Apparently, he just taking a breather.
"After all, I might die as well. If my death helped other demigods to continue living, to continue doing their part in the world. Then, why I should worry? I'll accept it and move on to the underworld. It better to die and achieve your goals than continue living, regretting you past actions."
His word struck Pan pretty hard. All this time, he wondered if the boy will actually understand him. Instead, he didn't just meet a boy that understand him, he met someone who is also accepting of their fate, instead of trying to avoid death, he embraced it and probably smiling while doing it.
He couldn't believe that he will meet a demigod that will understand his plight and agree with him, especially someone so young. Someone his age probably just started their schooling. (He might be missing for 2000 years but he had ways to get information)
His eyes widened as Percy finished his speech. "Before my passing, I will do everything I can to make sure demigods will never have to worry about monster ever again, unless when picking a fight with them."
He had thought of doing something for the demigod, for providing him with new insight and some proper companies, but unsure if he will use it properly. The last part of him that resisted the idea had been erased when he heard the final part.
Someone who will do everything in his power to make sure others will be saved is not unheard of. There were many heroes that will do the same. But to heard that he will make sure even with his passing, others will continue to live without worry. If it was somebody else, Pan would think they delusional. But if it's Percy, pan believe he can do it, no matter how impossible it can be.
He decided there and there, he will give the son of Poseidon his blessing. So, he will have another tool to help him live long. His blessing might not be helpful, but at the very least, he repays the demigod who help him sees that the Wild might not be finished as he thought, if only more people can understand him more.
He moved toward the sitting demigod, arriving in front of the demigod. He gently lowered his right hand, his index finger outstretched. Percy looked surprised but not wary. In fact, he seemed to be familiar with what Pan was planning to do.
Pushing the thoughts away, he lowered his finger, touching the son of Poseidon forehead, parting him his blessing, before finally removing it after it is done. Percy looked at his hands, focusing the new blessing inside of him.
He can detect the newcomer in his body, feeling life blooming present from Pan's gift. He focused the feeling, feeling of growth, of blooming and sense something reacting to his power. He looked at the source and found, an apple seed.
He remembered it, he put it there after having a lunch with apple as an appetizer. He planned to plant the seed for sentimental purpose when he reached New Mexico hideout. He wondered?
He controlled Pan's blessing, pushing it to the direction of the seed. When it reached the seed, he will for power to quicken the seed growth, pushing it to become a tree. To his surprise, the seed grow, not into a tree, but like a very large branch. He controlled it, making the branch snaked around his arm before stopping it growth.
Pan looked at the scene in front of him with astonishment. When he gave the blessing, he thought of teaching the son of Poseidon how to wield it. He never in all of his long life thought he can control it quickly, and with such ease too!
He looked at the Percy and smiled. 'The kid can do wonders to the world' He thought, imagining what he can do in the future. As he watched the boy controlled the growing seed, he frowned before looking upward.
"Percy," He said "Its time for you to go. It's almost midnight outside. You should get some rest," Percy looked back at Pan, surprised. He thought the sun just beginning to set just now.
He nodded at the god of the Wild statement. Even though he didn't have school days, he should rest and get back to what he was doing before. A part of him though felt reluctant with leaving Pan. He was great company and he probably one of the nicest gods he had ever met.
"Alright. Bye Pan. Its nice talking to you," Percy said, waving at the god before walking the way he came from.
"Bye Percy, its nice talking to you. Oh, and thank you for listening to this old goat tales." Pan shouted, his voice booming the cavern. He sat back to his seat before smiling to himself. 'That boy will change the Graeco-Roman world,' he thought.
Percy, while walking to the main cavern could not help but smiled too. But the one on his face seem to exude melancholy. He whispered to himself "I should be the one to thank you. You help me, like aunt Hestia did, to find my reason and understand a part of it."
"After all, I will be passing from this world soon."