CW for Homophobic Hahn.
Chapter 65
Azula stood on the balcony of Zirin's fifth floor apartment, sipping her whiskey and soda as she looked down at the busy street below, the social life of the capital bustling at the late evening hour. Zirin stood next to her, smoking a cigarette as she stared into the distance. They had spent a couple of hours catching up, Zirin telling Azula about her modeling career with its ups and downs, along with all the other mostly positive changes that had happened to her life. Azula had shared far less, unwilling to go into the painful details of everything she had been through lately. Zirin wasn't going to be a meaningful part of her life going forward, so Azula decided that she didn't really need to know all these details.
Despite Azula's reluctance to talk, time had still flown by quickly, mostly because Zirin could just chatter away for hours, especially when she'd had a couple of drinks. Azula still recalled just how flirty Zirin had been back in the day when the older girl had chased after her, but a few years later, Zirin appeared far more restrained. She had done a bit of flirting and Azula had made sure to indicate that she was approachable. Still, it seemed that so far Zirin was more interested in getting a read on Azula and trying to discern her motives. Azula had come here with the singular purpose to hook up, but with Zirin moving so slowly, Azula was starting to have second thoughts.
Eventually, Zirin tossed the butt of her cig into the ashtray and turned to walk back inside, motioning for Azula to follow. They sat down on the living room sofa, Zirin pouring herself more whiskey. "You're playing tomorrow, right?" Zirin asked. Azula nodded. "Who are you facing?"
"Ruon-Jian," Azula replied.
"Oh, that asshole," Zirin frowned. "I imagine you'll want to be well rested for that. I need to get up pretty early myself for yet another shoot."
"Oh," Azula realized what Zirin was getting at. She wasn't interested in hooking up at all. It was weird, though. Azula was sure that Zirin had been flirting with her a little earlier. "Yes, I should probably get out of your hair then, it's getting quite late."
"It is, but that's not what I meant," Zirin smirked at her. "I didn't mean that you had to leave. I just meant that we should cut to the chase."
Azula froze. "Cut to the… chase?" she repeated nervously.
"You came here looking for a hookup, didn't you?" Zirin asked plainly.
Azula thought that it had been what she had wanted. She was getting embarrassed now, though. "Yes, but we don't have to-"
"It could be fun," Zirin smiled. Her hand moved up to Azula's knee, slowly inching upwards. Azula drew a sharp intake of breath, setting her glass on the table. "Remember how much fun we had that summer?" Zirin's smile broadened. Her hand had by now moved higher upwards, reaching Azula's inner thigh. Azula let out a desperate whimper as the conflicting desires within her continued to rage. Zirin must have taken Azula's reaction as an invitation to proceed, because she closed the distance between them and began to kiss Azula.
Despite how good it felt to have Zirin kiss her, it didn't take long for Azula to realize that the rapidly mounting sense of wrongness and guilt within her meant that this was a terrible idea and that she needed to put a stop to it. Sure, Katara had withheld the truth from her, but she had never cheated on Azula. She could never imagine Katara cheating. And yet, here she was about to cheat on Katara. How could she have possibly thought that this was a good idea?
Just as Azula finally moved to push Zirin away and end their kiss, the other girl pulled away on her own accord, her expression laden with guilt. "Ugh, I'm sorry, Azula… I don't think I can do this," she sighed. "I still want you after all these years, I really do, but this is not right."
"Yes, I just realized the same," Azula said, feeling hugely relieved. She had come very close to committing an idiotic mistake. It was probably all over between her and Katara anyway, because she had been betrayed by the girl she loved, but she didn't want to lose the moral high ground by becoming a cheat. Katara hadn't done that to her and Azula felt that it would be wrong to take her revenge in such an underhanded and cruel way.
"I should probably explain why it's not right," Zirin stood up from the sofa. She walked up to a nearby bookshelf and picked something up, a framed face-down lying photograph. She turned it towards Azula, allowing her to catch a glimpse of a photo of Zirin embracing a fairly handsome man with a snappy goatee. He looked to be quite a few years older than her, perhaps as much as a decade. "That's me and my boyfriend," she explained with a guilty look on her face.
"Wait, your boyfriend… as in, current boyfriend and not an ex?" Azula gasped.
"Yeah…" Zirin sighed. "We had a nasty row a few days ago. Honestly, now that I've had the time to think about it, I was kind of being a selfish bitch. Oh, and I also kicked him out. He's a good guy, really, just a bit indecisive, and I guess I became really frustrated with him."
"So, wait… you were going to use me to get back at him?" Azula asked.
"I'm not proud of it," Zirin admitted. "I hadn't planned to do this, but when you called, well, it just brought back so many memories. And honestly, I still want you on so many levels, even if I love my guy." Azula blushed heatedly at that. "Yeah, ugh… I mean, I'm sure it would have been fun to have sex with you, but honestly, what was I thinking? I have nothing against casual sex under the right circumstances, but my guy and I, we didn't actually break up. This would have put an end to our relationship, and now that I think about it… I don't actually want it to end."
Azula burst into a fit of nervous laughter at Zirin's explanation. "We both nearly committed the same mistake," she admitted, still chuckling.
"Wait, you were also looking for a hookup to get back at someone?" Zirin blinked.
"Yes, like a total idiot," Azula sighed. "There's this girl I really care about, okay? But she broke my trust in a really bad way and I don't know if I can ever forgive her. I kind of wanted to do something that would really hurt her, but… it's just not the way, I understand that now. I'm glad we both realized it before it was already too late."
"No kidding," Zirin looked very relieved. "We're both passionate Fire Nation girls, right? When someone hurts us, our instinct is to hurt them right back. But that's probably not the way to go if you still want to have a relationship with that person. I'm going to call my boyfriend tomorrow and try to talk things out with him. I think you should do the same with your girl."
"I don't really want to hurt her back, but I don't know how I can ever trust her again," Azula said. "It hurts just as much as when I learned that you were scoping out my Caldera estate so that your sister could rob it."
Zirin looked guilty at that reminder. "But you were able to forgive me for that. I mean, you trusted me enough to have sex with me," she said.
"I don't just want to have sex with Kat-… uh, this girl," Azula blushed heatedly. "I wanted to have something really serious with her. And I don't see how we can have that if I can't trust her not to keep important things from me. Just thinking about it makes me so angry."
"Well, what does she say about it all?" Zirin asked. "Why did she do it?"
"I, uh, haven't confronted her about it yet," Azula admitted.
"Just talk to her, dummy," Zirin smiled at her. "Maybe you don't have all the facts. Maybe she had a good reason to do what she did."
"Somehow, I doubt that," Azula stubbornly shook her head. Hiding the truth from her best friend in order to protect her was just something that wasn't done, as far as Azula was concerned.
Katara and Yue arrived for the final round of the Water Tribe qualifying tournament feeling both excited and nervous. The tournament so far had been a mixed success for Yue. She had been playing well, but the long pause from competitive play had left some rustiness and taken some of the edge out of her game. She hadn't lost a single match, but she had drawn her games with the two Waska sisters, and she now found herself with seven points from eight games. It was a very solid result, but Siku Ikuma had a perfect record of eight straight wins for the tournament lead. Not all was lost, however. Yue was facing Siku in the final round and a win would see Yue claiming the first place and the sole ticket to Omashu.
Siku had been playing so well that Katara actually felt a tiny bit of regret for having tutored her, especially if those lessons would now end up preventing Yue from qualifying. Still, it was probably a bit silly to presume that one session with her and Azula would have made such an effect on Siku's game. She was so good because she was working very hard at improving herself. Still, there were some weaknesses to her game that Katara had studied in advance, and together with Yue they had prepared what they believed was a winning strategy. Siku preferred to play very defensively, even more so than Yue, but Yue's normal style of play probably wouldn't allow her to take advantage of Siku's cautiousness. Thus, they had prepared a much more aggressive opening to help Yue gain initiative from the very start.
As the final round was about to begin, Katara noticed that the grand hall of the Winter Palace was absolutely packed with spectators, journalists and various dignitaries, including some former and current pro players, as well as members of the national Pai Sho federation. Katara was certain of having caught a glimpse of Pakku at some point, but she hadn't bothered to check, having no interest in conversing with him. Following Katara's spectacular U21 win on home soil back in April, it seemed that the interest in Pai Sho was on the rise in the capital and throughout the Water Tribes. She had been interviewed close to a dozen of times already, including an interview for one of the local TV stations. Being on camera still made her feel really self-conscious, and watching herself speak on the TV screen later that evening, Katara had thought that she came off really dorky. Yue had boosted her spirits by claiming that she had looked absolutely adorable and charming, and Katara chose to believe her dear friend.
Unfortunately, as Katara and Yue made their way through the crowds, they ran into the one person they both wanted to see the least, namely one Hahn Adjuk. From the way he had three pretty but vapid looking fan girls draped all over him, Katara surmised that he had sought them out intentionally, just to show off and be annoying, perhaps even trying to unsettle Yue. "Ah, Yue, fancy meeting you here," Hahn grinned smugly at his ex-wife.
"What do you want, Hahn?" Yue said, looking deeply unhappy to see him. Katara just glared at the annoying braggart.
"Why, only to bask in your failure to qualify for the finals, my dear," Hahn chuckled. "I think it will be so amusing to watch you fail, after you claimed to be the better player between the two of us."
"Oh, put a cork in it, Hahn," Katara couldn't remain quiet any longer. "Yue is going to win today, and she's going to qualify for the finals."
"And speaking of fail, there's no competing with the failure that is the start of your pro 'career'," Yue added, making air quotes.
"You're still the biggest failure out of us two," Hahn insisted stubbornly. "I'm swimming in your family's fortune after you threw it away to live in poverty. How do you even make money to survive? You'd fail even at the oldest profession in the world. You were always a bit crap in the bed."
Katara felt speechless at Hahn's words, while Yue had gone completely rigid from shock. Even Hahn's groupies seemed to be taken aback by such a low blow. Fortunately, Yue recovered right away. "I don't know what you're talking about, I've always received only glowing reviews from my ex-boyfriend and ex-girlfriend, as well as from my current girlfriend," Yue snapped irately.
"Maybe your own inadequacies are to blame, Hahn," Katara couldn't resist a dig. One of Hahn's groupies actually laughed at that. Hahn silenced her with a glare and then told her something. The girl walked away, looking like she was about to start crying.
"I'm not going to stand here and take insults from a pair of filthy carpet munchers," Hahn growled at them.
"That's good, because all we want is for you to go away," Yue snapped, placing a hand on Katara's shoulder to hold her back, having noticed that Katara looked ready to physically assault Hahn.
Hahn was about to reply with something predictably nasty, but he stopped when he saw someone walking towards them. It was none other than Grandmaster Pakku Karetak. "Is everything alright here?" Pakku asked, sounding concerned. His concern turned to annoyance when his eyes fell on Hahn.
"Hahn is interrupting my preparations for the upcoming game," Yue said. "He is being disruptive." Katara nodded at that, not that she expected that Pakku would listen to her or actually do anything. He seemed to respect Yue, however, which was a little surprising. It made Katara like the old curmudgeon a little more.
"That's what I thought," Pakku nodded, turning towards Hahn. "Only the tournament participants and their coaches together with the tournament officials and board members of the Pai Sho federation are allowed to be in this zone. Do you belong to any of these groups, Mr. Adjuk?"
"No, but-"
"Well, then I would ask that you get out of here before I call on the security to show you the way to the spectator stands," Pakku snapped. "Just because your family is swimming in money, it doesn't mean that you can come in here and flaunt the rules, at least not while I have anything to say about it."
"Maybe you won't have a say in it for much longer," Hahn muttered while walking away. "My father could buy the entire stupid federation if he wanted to."
"Ignore him," Pakku said, turning towards Yue. "Good luck with your game, Miss Taqqiq. I hope to see you playing next spring in Omashu."
"Thank you, Master Pakku," Yue smiled gratefully at the old master.
"You're welcome," Pakku said, about to walk away, but then turning towards Katara. "And Miss Enuaraq, I know I haven't said it before, but your play at the spring finals, especially that game against young Zuko Nakamura? Masterful, just masterful," Pakku gave her the gesture of a chef's kiss before finally walking away, leaving the two girls standing there dumbfounded.
"Did Pakku Karetak just compliment me?" Katara gasped, not sure if she could believe her own ears.
"Yes, and he also gave me a huge confidence boost ahead of my game," Yue grinned. She then leaned in and hugged Katara. "I need to go and take my place now. It's time to finish this."
"You can do it, bestie," Katara smiled at her, then turning around and making her way towards the spectator stands, managing to find a free space among the crowd and immediately getting accosted by autograph seekers. She spent the next few minutes signing mostly Pai Sho books and boards, but fortunately she didn't end up missing too much of Yue's match against Siku.
Everything was going according to the plan, at least to begin with. Yue was playing with renewed vigor, reinforced by Katara's constantly reaffirmed faith in her ability, which was now boosted by Pakku's unexpected encouragement. Siku immediately found herself on the back foot, and try as hard as she might, the younger girl failed to reverse the advantage which Yue had gained at the start. As the game moved towards its inevitable conclusion, Katara could see that Siku was becoming really upset, almost starting to tear up. While she was delighted for Yue, Katara did feel really bad for the younger girl. She had played a wonderful tournament only to fail at the last hurdle. Katara knew from personal experience that it was a hard blow to take, but she hoped that Siku would bounce back from the disappointing loss.
As Yue bowed to the crowd, all the while beaming at her, Katara quickly glanced towards Hahn in the stands nearby, having to laugh at the sour look on his face. When she noticed him looking back at her, Katara could not resist making a very juvenile and rude gesture at him, unbecoming of someone of her status as a world junior champion. Hahn looked a little astonished, but then responded with a gesture of a slash across his throat. Katara decided to ignore that insufferable asshole, instead focusing on celebrating Yue's success.
They had achieved the goal set out at the start, and with Azula looking set to qualify in the Caldera City tournament, Katara was already looking forward to another unforgettable experience with all three of them playing together, not to mention Toph joining them as one of the wild cards. It would surely be an amazing time in Omashu and Katara couldn't wait to get back to Ba Sing Se and celebrate it properly as a group.
Despite her concerns, it seemed as if everything had ended well, and even her fears about Azula's safety in the Fire Nation hadn't materialized. There was only one small concern left on Katara's mind, and that was to find out why Azula had been so curt and evasive on the phone over the past two weeks. Katara assumed that it was merely the stress, carrying over after Azula's meeting with her father, but Katara wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything else that she needed to be concerned about. In any case, whatever it was, Katara was certain that they would be able to figure it out together.
Azula stood at the entrance to the Caldera City airport terminal of departures, her heavy suitcase by her side. Despite Azula telling Mai to just drop her off at the terminal, Mai had insisted on paying for parking and accompanying her all the way up to the terminal, wanting to say proper farewells. Azula appreciated the gesture by her old friend, knowing that Mai had really come through for her, putting up with Azula for two weeks when she had been either dying from anxiety or simply in a foul and angry mood.
Despite feeling angry and betrayed, Azula had regained her focus when it came to Pai Sho, and that spelt bad news for her opponents who had thought that her two early losses had put her out of contention. She had easily won her three final games against Ruon-Jian, Kei Lo and Chan. Sharing the first place with On Ji had been a bit embarrassing for Azula, but since the top four qualified for the finals, Azula wasn't too bothered. Ruon and Kei Lo took the remaining two qualifying spots, while Chan failed to make it through and the Takahashi family was probably already scrambling to secure a wild card for their talentless hack of a son.
"We really shouldn't wait another three years before meeting up, Azula," Mai told her as the time of Azula's departure inevitably began to catch up with them.
"No, definitely not," Azula agreed emphatically. "I don't know if I want to come back to the Fire Nation anytime soon, though."
"You'll have to come back next fall to qualify, right?" Mai asked.
"Not if I win in Omashu," Azula grinned. "And I definitely intend to do just that."
"I wouldn't bet against you," Mai nodded with a smile.
"Why don't you come to Ba Sing Se for winter holidays?" Azula asked. "Ty Lee would be delighted to see you, I'm sure."
"Yes, I really want to meet Ty face to face again after all these years," Mai sighed. "Alright, I'll see what I can do about clearing my schedule. I mean, my parents will probably expect me to go home and stay with them for the winter holidays, but that's like… the most boring thing ever. All they want to talk about are my marriage prospects, and I really don't feel like facing two weeks of that bullshit."
"You don't want to deal with that, Mai," Azula shook her head. "Just come to Ba Sing Se and have some fun with us."
"I'll try to make it, I promise," Mai nodded earnestly. "And Azula, please try to remember what I told you earlier, okay?" Azula assumed a blank expression, as if she didn't know what Mai was talking about. The taller girl let out a heavy sigh. "Just… just talk things out with Katara and the other girls, okay? Control your anger, don't let it take over. You'll probably regret it later."
Azula ground her teeth at Mai's advice. Her friend had been repeating the same advice that Zirin had given her in the aftermath of their failed hookup, and instead of convincing Azula, these appeals for her to be forgiving just made her angrier. It didn't help that whenever Katara had called her at Mai's apartment, the Water Tribe girl spoke with such concern and empathy, and Azula kept losing herself in the softness of Katara's voice, but somehow that had made Azula feel even worse because of what Katara had done to betray her trust. Azula felt so very conflicted, because a part of her wanted to get back to Ba Sing Se so that she could finally sweep Katara up in her arms and kiss her senseless, but the other part of her just wanted to scream insults at Katara, to call the other girl out on her duplicity and to make her feel as bad as she had made Azula feel.
"I'll think about it, Mai," Azula said stiffly. Checking the airport clock, she realized that she could not hang around any longer if she wanted to make it through the security checkpoint on time. Azula didn't put it past her father not to arrange some unexpected surprises to possibly delay her, or try to keep her in the Fire Nation, despite her having outplayed him during their meeting. "Anyway, thank you for everything you did for me during these two weeks, Mai," she said. "I really appreciate it."
"Think nothing of it," Mai smiled at her. "Oh… you're going to hug me again, aren't you? Oof-" Mai grunted as Azula wrapped her arms around her old friend and hugged her tightly. She may have been incredibly upset with Katara right now, but Azula still appreciated how her friend had made her so much more comfortable with not only accepting physical affection, but also with dispensing it.
"Bye, Mai! Let's keep in touch!" Azula smiled, waving as she walked away, dragging the suitcase behind her. She had successfully survived the trip to the Fire Nation and she had prevailed in a confrontation with her father. Under those circumstances, she would have expected herself to be heading back to Ba Sing Se happy, instead of seething with anger.
Katara and Yue made it back to Ba Sing Se a day ahead of Azula's arrival, both of them in relatively high spirits. Yue and Ty Lee had made up (and made out) pretty much as soon as Yue was over the doorstep. Ty Lee was clearly feeling guilty about her childish attempts to make Yue jealous by dropping some vague hints about fancying Sokka, and Katara had sent them both upstairs to Ty Lee's room to have a heart to heart about it. They both emerged downstairs only the following morning, looking like they had worked out their differences in a highly satisfying way.
In the course of the following morning, Katara had learned several intriguing bits of information from Ty Lee. Apparently, during their absence, Zuko had been an almost daily visitor at the estate, coming over to hang out with Sokka. Katara didn't quite know what to make of Ty Lee's comment about Sokka being far more interested in hanging out with Zuko instead of her. It was almost as if Ty Lee was hinting that there was something more serious than friendship developing between the two boys? Katara felt really confused. Sokka had previously denied even the slightest possibility of being attracted to a guy. If her brother felt confused about his feelings, Katara hoped that he would at least come and talk to her, considering that she had experience when it came to acknowledging her sexual identity. Katara resolved to carefully observe the situation, feeling resolute about being there for her brother and offering a supportive shoulder in case he needed her advice.
Since Ty Lee had also called Mai in Caldera City, and had spoken with Azula, Katara had asked Ty Lee whether she also thought that Azula had sounded a little weird on the phone. Katara hadn't been able to shake off the feeling that something was still bothering Azula, which was very strange because both Azula and Mai kept insisting that the confrontation with Ozai had gone well, so Katara had expected Azula to be absolutely delighted, and yet she hadn't sounded too happy. Katara's concern only grew when Ty Lee had echoed her sentiments, also sensing that something was still bothering Azula and muddying up her aura.
With the three girls at the estate and Sokka off attending his community college classes, they had decided to bake a honey pecan cake to celebrate Azula's return. Couple of hours of combined efforts later and with the cake still in the oven, they heard the front doors being unlocked and someone entering, from the sounds of it dragging a heavy suitcase across the doorstep. Katara, Yue and Ty Lee immediately jumped up from the sofa and rushed towards the foyer, happy to see Azula removing her trench coat and kicking off her shoes.
"Azula!" Katara exclaimed happily, rushing towards her friend with arms outstretched, about to pull her into a hug. It was only at the last moment that Katara noticed the look on Azula's face, and it was anything but a happy expression. Then, instead of her embrace being returned, Katara was utterly astonished when Azula instead shoved her, quite roughly. Katara lost her footing and went down, slamming her shoulder against the sharp edge of the shelf. Landing on the floor with a cry of pain, Katara felt so shocked that she couldn't even react to the sharp spike of agonizing hurt emanating from her shoulder. She just sat there, looking up at Azula with an incredulous look on her face.
"Azula? What's going on?" Yue gasped, sounding distressed.
"What's going on?" Azula yelled. "Why do I have to go to the Fire Nation and learn from my father that he has fucking killed my poor horses? You knew that, didn't you?" she pointed an accusing finger at all three of them. "You knew the truth and you hid it from me!"
"We were trying to look out for you, Azula!" Ty Lee argued passionately. Azula didn't look any calmer at this argument.
"Yes, we were afraid of what the news would do to you," Yue joined in. "Don't be angry at Katara for it!"
"Yeah, we all agreed to keep it from you," Ty Lee nodded. "It was a joint decision."
"Oh, that's even better, all three of you conspired to stab me in the back together," Azula was absolutely fuming. "Well, I can't live under the same roof with people who betray my trust," she said, walking past them and heading upstairs. "Pack your bags, all three of you. I want you gone from the estate within an hour."
The three girls exchanged looks of utter shock and dismay at Azula's words, as she headed upstairs without saying anything else. The sharp pain resonating in Katara's shoulder felt unbearable, but it still did not compare to the pain she felt when facing the look of burning anger in Azula's eyes.
"Did she really mean that?" Yue asked, sinking to her knees and looking devastated. "I literally have nowhere else to go!"
"I don't want to end up on the streets again…" Ty Lee went into full blown water-works mode, tears gushing down her round cheeks.
"We're not going anywhere," Katara said with determination, finally managing to get back up to her feet, ignoring the stinging pain emanating from her shoulder. She really hoped she hadn't broken any bones in the fall. "I'm going to talk to her," Katara said, about to follow Azula upstairs.
"Are you sure that's wise?" Yue asked, struggling to hold back her tears. "I've never seen Azula so angry…"
"I don't know if it's wise, Yue," Katara sighed, gathering all her willpower as she headed towards the stairs. "It's clear that we have made a big mistake by keeping the truth from Azula, but all I know is that I'm not giving up on us this easily."
Next chapter: Let's see if we can salvage Azutara from this utter mess.