The next morning rolled around too soon. John Phoenix was worried that he didn't have everything pieced together, and Richard had stayed up too late trying to keep a straight face reading this ""Jolene Phoenix" character's pathetic excuse for fanfictions. In fact, the only reason he did was because he enjoyed seeing all the ways this guy crashed and burned in his attempts.
But either way, the two were at court, exhausted but prepared, or at least as prepared as they could be. Edgeworth himself also looked prepared, though he seemed kind of distant. The judge's gavel pounding brought them both back to earth.
"Court is now in session for the trial of Justin Searon," His Honor said, making the same mistake John Phoenix did. "Is the prosecution ready?"
"The prosecution is ready, your honor." Edgeworth said.
"The defense is ready, your honor." John Phoenix followed.
"Of course. Prosecution, your opening statement, please."
"Okay." Edgeworth cleared his throat and pulled out a slip of paper. "On the night of September 4, Elias Valencia was found dead in his bedroom. His laptop computer, which he had been using until his death, was also shot at. We have a diagram of the crime scene, right here."
Edgeworth brought out a picture to the court, which was rather underwhelming. It was just a bird's-eye view of his bed, designating the location of the laptop, the broken screen, the body partially slumped on the floor, and the murder weapon, also on the floor. The judge admitted it as evidence.
"The only one without an alibi is the Valencia's next-door neighbor, Justin Searon. He's the only one who could have potentially killed him."
"OBJECTION!" John Phoenix hollered. "What motive would Mr. Searon have?" He raised, also bringing to light the proper pronunciation of Justin's surname. Edgeworth smiled and elaborated.
"It's rather straightforward. Mr. Searon used to be Elias' mother's wife." The court went into clamor, the judge slamming his gavel, calling for order.
"He would likely attempt to avoid any reminder that his wife left him. Granted, it is merely speculation at this point." Miles admitted, dropping his smirk.
"Let's test to see if that holds water." John Phoenix said.
"Very well. The prosecution calls Justin Searon to the stand." The red-clad prosecutor motioned for Justin to go up to the stand. After he walked behind it, he pulled out his notebook and wrote down likely another story idea.
"Name and occupation."
"Justin Searon. I write short stories and fanfictions."
"Fanfictions?" The judge asked, foreign to the concept.
"A fan-made story of an existing IP- any form of fictional media- that is not canon to the original source." Searon cleared.
"Anyway, Mr. Searon, is it true that you and Ms. Julia Valencia used to be romantically inclined?"
Justin flinched, but the lock didn't appear. It must have been broken earlier by some outside force. "Yes… we were…" The onlookers whispered amongst themselves.
"But, I'm kind of over her now." That drove the observers to talk a bit more loudly, forcing the judge to call order again.
"Mr. Edgeworth, are you willing to alter your opening statement to suit the defendant's lack of motive?" He said, glaring daggers at Miles.
"We can address the motive later when I come up with something. For now, let's let the defendant go back to his seat and bring in my first witness."
Detective Gumshoe was once again on the stand, which didn't surprise John Phoenix, His Honor, or the peanut gallery in the slightest. "Name and occupation, please?" Edgeworth said, despite the fact that everyone already knew who he was.
"Dick Gumshoe, the local detective." He said, almost rhythmically.
"Please testify to the court about what you have discovered at the crime scene."
"Alright." The detective cleared his throat. "At the crime scene, we discovered that the blood of the victim had traveled in the same direction as the kid's PC's shrapnel. Now this is interesting, seeing as the gun had been found next to the kid's hand, almost as though it was supposed to look like suicide."
"That was... strangely short." The judge noted.
"Well, there wasn't much at the crime scene either."
"John Phoenix? You may begin your cross-examination."
"Detective Gumshoe, please repeat your testimony." John Phoenix said, spotting the contradiction immediately, but still wanting a little info.
"We discovered the kid's blood had traveled in the same direction as the PC's shrapnel."
"Hold it!" John Phoenix interrupted. "Can you specify which direction that is?"
"You were at the scene, weren't you? The blood was going behind the victim, towards the wall where the window was located, but not at the window."
"Do you think you could mark it on the diagram?"
"Sure thing." He said, having been handed a diagram and a marker. "The PC was here with the shrapnel here," He noted, pointing slightly to the right of the computer with the kid on the left, "and there was a bit of blood here," he said, pointing on the head of the bed, "but most of it pooled here."
John Phoenix mentally reviewed his experience with the crime scene before deciding that the bed, frame, sheets and all, would be worth noting.
"The gun had been found in the victim's hand, almost like it was supposed to appear to be suicide."
"Objection!" John Phoenix hollered, bringing out the slip of paper they found on Elias' bed.
"Hey, what's that?" Gumshoe said.
"That's because it was suicide! This is a note written by Elias, seemingly before he died. It reads… great… what did it say, Storm? I don't remember."
"Objection!" Edgeworth countered, keeping Nick from stalling. "Why isn't the defense showing us what the note says?"
Storm said, while showing Miles the picture, "Because the handwriting on it is practically unintelligible. Bear with me." She brought the paper back to her hand and glossed it over. "Ah, yes. It says, and I quote. 'I don't want to live in this world anymore. Knowing that fanfics like 'Turnabout Forever' exist makes me want to kill myself. Scratch that, it's the only way I can get it out of my head. Tell 'ladyjolenephoenix' to burn in hell for me? Thanks.'"
"Where are you going with this?" Gumshoe asked, though Edgeworth seemed to know.
"Isn't it obvious? We have established the motive. Elias didn't want to associate himself with a fanfic as bad as what he read... " He slammed his hands on the table. "So the only way to get it out of his head was to kill himself!"
"That's crazy!" Miles shouted while the observers clamored among themselves. "Not only could such a fic not possibly exist, but the reaction is so disproportionate, there's no way it could happen!"
"Oh, believe me," Richard interjected. "Such an excuse for literature does exist. I have it on my phone right now. You want me to show the court on the projector?"
"Particularly me, but we have to get the point across to them too." Edgeworth said, gesturing at everyone around him.
"Bailiff! Please get us some popcorn from the employee lounge! From what I'm hearing, this will be a fantastic train wreck!" While someone was setting up the projector and calibrating it so that Richard's phone wouldn't damage anyone's eyes, the bailiff had prepared four bags of buttered popcorn: One for the judge, one for him, one to share between Nick and Maya, and the last one for Edgeworth.
Richard had accessed the app that stored the many fanfictions she enjoyed reading, and Turnabout Dank. She opened up the first chapter, and everyone knew what she was talking about.
phoenix wright gets hit by a car and has to dEFEND THE MAN WHO HIT HIM CAN HE DO IT?
Edgeworth, looking incredibly appalled, stated to the court, "Should I object to the improper grammar, the fact that the writer seems to slander my opponent, or the fact that his profile seems to imply he has written about a dozen of these monstrosities?"
"How about all three?!" The peanut gallery yelled before the bailiff took the phone out, handed it to Richard, and rubbed his eyes in a desperate gambit to remove the offending "literature" from his eyes.
"Well, I can see WHY a prepubescent teen would want to die after reading this." The judge stated bluntly.
"One thing has been pestering me ever since I found the note." John Phoenix mused aloud. "Are we tackling murder, suicide, or second-degree murder?"
"I wonder that too, John Phoenix." Edgeworth breathed out, no doubt scarred by the synopsis he was forced to look at. "Your Honor, I request an extra day to look further into this case, locate this "lady jolene phoenix" character, and remove this slandering of the defense-
"And yourself." Storm said. John Phoenix leaned away from her, staring wide-eyed at Storm. Whatta trooper!
"I only read the first chapter. You're welcome, John Phoenix. Lemme tell you, the fic has the quality of those old-timey game systems."
"... And ME…" Edgeworth growled, "from our collective mindscapes."
"I believe I need a respite, too!" His Honor complied. "I will grant the prosecution's request. The court shall be suspended until tomorrow!" The sound of a gavel striking wood resounded through the court.
John Phoenix, Storm, Richard, and Edgeworth just stared at each other in the defendant's lobby for the longest time, unsure of how to go about the prosecution's request.
"I think that this jolene person might live within a few hours of here."
"How can you be so sure?" STORM asked, flabbergasted.
"I think you've forgotten my ranking on the law's hierarchy. I have, as jolene would put it, "wicked bad connections.'" Edgeworth elaborated, grimacing upon mentioning the author.
"No rest for the wicked, eh? We have our own elephants to address. C'mon, Storm." John Phoenix said, walking out the court's front doors.