"Well, there's little to say about my style. My paragraphs never really go beyond one line of
original text, and there is intended plagiarism. Many people know that my stories are bad, and they all love my stories for it." Jolene noted, a distant look after it was all over, like he was fantasizing about her own stories.
"John Phoenix, go ahead and cross-examine this witness." The judge stated bluntly, looking about ready to get the smell of tobacco out of his nose.
Jolene once again cleared her throat, ready to re-recite her testimony. John Phoenix knew what he was going to do was circumstantial and/or opinionated, but in his fics, that passed for perfectly OK. "There's little to say about my style. My paragraphs never really go beyond one line of original text."
"Hold it!" Phoenix interrupted. "Why is it that your paragraphs never go beyond the one line?"
"Most of it isn't my work."
"Makes sense." Edgeworth interjected. "Please continue."
"And there is intended plagiarism. Many people know my stories are bad, and they all love my stories for it."
"Objection!" Phoenix hollered. "That very lie is the reason you were brought to court today, Jolene. Let me ask you, do you remember why you were brought here by the prosecution?"
"Something about introducing the court to a bit of 'Jolene magic'?" She said bluntly. John Phoenix inwardly groaned that Edgeworth had to stroke her ego to get her to come in, but he pressed on.
"No. A kid was found dead two days ago, and this fic is the reason he committed suicide, evidenced by this note I found on his bed." He said, pulling out the same letter used to prove it was suicide yesterday.
"Objection! This is all conjecture! We never even proved he went through with it!" Edgeworth stated.
"Valid point, valid point." John Phoenix agreed. "What say we hear what the witness was doing on the night of the murder, September 4th?"
"Fair enough." The judge agreed. "Witness, please testify as to what you did on the night of September 4th."
"Alrighty." Jolene said bluntly. "I was driving through the upper part of town around Midnight after I had sobered up at the bar. When I drove by a house in one of the local neighborhoods, I heard a gunshot. The glass in the front window of the house shattered, and the bullet carried on and broke my window. Heh, good thing my chair is always reclined, eh?"
"Very fortunate," The judge agreed. "Is your car window still broken?"
"We have the bullet hole to prove it." Edgeworth piped up, setting down a picture of Jolene's truck's window. The bullet hole was on the driver side window, and had penetrated clean through.
"I know how this song and dance goes." Jolene stated as John Phoenix prepared himself for a cross-exam.
"I was driving through the northern part of town around Midnight after sobering up at the bar."
"Hold it! Why did you wait to sober up until you left?"
"I had only brought enough money for beers and not a cab. I had to wait for my brain to clear out the alcohol. Musta taken around 2 hours."
"And after you left?" John Phoenix asked, implying he wanted Jolene to continue his testimony. The point went across.
"When I drove by a house in one of the local neighborhoods, I heard a gunshot. The glass in the front window of the house shattered, and the bullet carried on and broke my window."
"Objection!" John Phoenix yelled, showing a picture of the front of the house. "That bullet never left the house!"
"Huh yeah." Jolene said, disproportionately calm. It was kind of unsettling for John Phoenix, especially considering he didn't know how to continue on.
"Objection!" Edgeworth countered. "Where would he have gotten the bullet hole in his window from?"
"He lives on the bad side of town, doesn't he?"
The court was eerily quiet for around 10 seconds before Edgeworth slammed his hand on the bench. "Testify about what you did that night!"
"I did!" Jolene insisted.
"The truth this time?"
"Okay, jeez… Like I said, I was driving back home around Midnight after leaving the bar. When I heard the gunshot, I stopped my car and ran up to the house. I looked through the window to find a kid dead, though his laptop was still on."
This is too easy. John Phoenix and Storm thought in tandem.
"I was driving back home around Midnight after leaving the bar. When I heard the gunshot, I stopped my car and ran up to the house. I looked through the window to find a kid dead, though his laptop was still on."
"Objection!" John Phoenix stopped him, showing him a picture of the laptop's debris. "The victim was found with his PC destroyed, and they died to the same bullet!"
"You're incredibly concise today," sTORM pointed out.
"Hey, I want him out, too!"
"Look, witness," Edgeworth started. "If you want this to go easy, just admit you've committed second-degree murder. It'll make things much less of a headache for everyone. And not just because we can smell the pot on your breath."
"I STILL WANT MY KUSH BACK!" Jolene screamed at Edgeworth as the guards apprehended him.
"Well," The judge managed to get out a few minutes after Jolene was apprehended. "This was a rather short, concise, proceeding. I believe I can declare my verdict. I find the defendant, Justin Searon not guilty! Court is adjourned!"