Let me preface my story by saying this : I was perfectly fine and happy before IT happened.

And what is IT you might ask?

Falling asleep in your own comfortable bed, only to wake up on a small tropical island, stranded in the middle of nowhere.

And I know what you're thinking. "But Melissa, who wouldn't want to be stranded on a lone island? That sounds absolutely heaven!"

Well then obviously you're stupid – because hello, humans need food and water?

But like I said, there I was – waking up on hot sand that burned so bad I started jumping around like a cricket in a hot pan. I took shelter in the tiny shade of a large palm tree, and wondered how the hell I had ended up there in the first place.

I live in cananda for christ sake – and now I was on some tropical island?! How does that just happen?

But ah, that was not all. See I still thought I was in our regular, modern age world with planes and automobiles.

In total, I was on that island for two whole days – enough time for me to freak the fuck out about twelve times, stub my toe twice and cry.

By the time a ship came around, I didn't really pay attention to what it looked like because I was just so glad at being found.

At first I yelled out to it and waved my arms, but when that obviously did not rouse their attention I swam. Luckily it was not that far away, and I reached it with surprising speed. When I had swam to its side I knocked on the wood like one would on a front door while yelling bloody murder.

A few minutes passed, then finally a ladder was thrown over the side.

"Oh my god, thank you thank you thank you!" I said out loud as I began to climb up. It was as I climbed that I realized how incredibly thirsty I was – I had been without water for two days after all in a much hotter climate than I was used to.

So naturally when I got on board, the first thing I did was to clutch at my throat and stick out my tongue as I began to search optically after a water source – again, I did not pay the slightest attention to what the ship looked like – or what the people on it did. All that mattered at that moment was getting some sweet, cold water down my throat.

Then I saw it – a barrel of water, the surface glistening invitingly. Without pause I dunked my head into it and had my fill. Whoever flavored water did a good job – because when you're thirsty it really tastes amazing. I emerged what felt like a lifetime later, refreshed and somewhat calmer.

I opened my eyes and was about to thank my rescuers (whom at that moment in time, I assumed was the coast guard or some such) only to find myself being surrounded by dirty, sweaty men – around thirty of them, to be exact.

And they were wearing clothes that looked...old.

It was then I noticed that the ship was all wood – no metal in sight. And there were sails up above my head. Normally, modern ships do not have those.

The men were all staring at me with a mixture of menace and confusion. I swallowed and then my gaze fell on one in particular that looked eerily familiar.

His deep brown eyes were staring at me with the same kind of look as the others, but something about it was calculating too.

OH MY GOD.

"Ehh...is this really happening?" I asked in a small voice, because surely it couldn't be. No way.

The absurdly familiar man leaned against a nearby rigging and considered the question for a moment before answering.

"That depends on what you're referring to, luv. If you're asking yourself "Am I aboard a pirate ship?" then the answer is yes. "

I made a noise I haven't heard myself make before. I guess this is what its like to have an existential crisis – interesting.

"Your name wouldn't be….Jack Sparrow, would it? " Please say no, please say no, please say no-

The desperation in my voice seemed to amuse him. He walked closer and widened his dark eyes as his voice got deeper.

"I'm afraid so, darling. And I'm going to eat your piglets before I huff and puff your merry ol house down."

This made the other men snigger – me on the other hand? I fainted.