Prologue
So far, this has been quite a good day.
After nine years of self made stress, anxiety, and indecisive living, I finally had enough money, time, and a free mind to do this.
I was in my lane. Unbothered. Happy. Focused. And finally, on vacation, and in Japan at that!
And let's not forget that, for the first time in a veeery long time, I didn't have the feeling anymore that I didn't deserve any of this.
Three years ago, I didn't even meet with friends because I treated it as a reward of some kind. Like, 'Oh, didn't clean the apartment? Are you sure you deserve that fun time?'
I got the meaning of "You have to see the bad, to appreciate the good" or whatever, but come on…
But I digress. You might wonder why this was a good day.
I'm glad you asked!
That was because I had arrived safely at the airport six hours ago, felt brave, and just went and visited a cat cafe, got lost, and did some evening sightseeing.
It was about going with the flow, right?
Now I was on my way to check-in and have dinner at a ramen place close by, and theeen prepare for tomorrow's visit to, oh I don't know, Akihabara maybe?!
In case you were wondering if I pulled an all-nighter including the long flight and probably felt like a hyped-up suitcase-dragging-zombie-psycho, then I could confidently inform you that you were absolutely right!
Yes, all things considered, it was a fantastic first day.
The air was better than expected; it was typical autumn weather (not too cold nor too hot) and I'm really looking forward to the food!
It really was the best time to visit Japan!
Speaking of the weather, it started to rain a little.
Nah, doesn't matter. I was almost there anyway, and over the years I've built up an emotional shell that protected me from external influences, just like my suitcase.
This little bit of rain would not have an impact on my mood.
On another note, this seemed to be my welcoming day: the streets were almost empty, my side of the sidewalk was clear, and I was getting closer to food by the minute.
Slowly walking parallel to me on the other side of the street was a person in a tracksuit, probably enjoying his evening walk.
Ah, and on the cross section a bit further ahead, there seemed to be some students chatting.
I didn't pay too much attention and started imagining what kind of ramen I should test first.
I couldn't call myself a ramen connoisseur, but who knew, maybe my journey to becoming one would start today?
Suddenly, I heard someone shouting something.
I snapped out of my daydream of a sophisticated gourmet lifestyle and slowly came to a halt.
The shout came from the direction of the tracksuit guy, who started to... power walk (?)... power stumble (?)... towards the students.
Oooh, I see now. He wanted to draw their attention to that very suspiciously driving truck.
The next couple of things happened really, really fast.
Basically, tracksuit guy, like the hero he was, pushed the student who was standing partway on the street out of harm's way, but unfortunately got himself in the same spot instead.
The truck hit the tracksuit guy and hurled him way further than you would expect.
It was extra surreal because the truck was driving on the wrong side of the road. For me, at least, as I was used to vehicles driving on the right side of the street.
You needed to remember the little details, you know.
From my point of view, I couldn't say there was another way to save both him and the teenager.
But wait, there was more.
I just realized that the truck was not slowing down, let alone stopping.
And it was coming... my way?
It was getting bigger, so it was definitely coming this way.
Give me a break. Who drives like that and doesn't even bother to stop?
Oh wait, did the driver fall unconscious?
That happens even the best, right?
No, wait, priorities.
I should be able to just dodge it by sidestepping.
Left or right?
The truck looked like it was going to crash into the store to my right, so all I needed to do was to go left. Or was it? I wasn't totally sure.
I made my move.
Success!
Well, I thought that, you thought that, everyone thought that.
It wasn't.
A couple seconds before crashing into the store to my right, the truck bumped into something on the sidewalk, "correcting" its course. Straight to me.
A short flash of white, a strong whiff of diesel, and I lost sight of what was what.
I could feel my bones shatter on the impact and the insane pressure of getting sandwiched between a truck and a hard place — the concrete wall, to be exact.
– ◇ –
Unexpectedly, I was still conscious.
I think.
I couldn't hear, feel or see a damn thing.
Soooo…
Was this the end? Just like that?
Just when I finally had a grip on my life and didn't have to live on borrowed time? Everything was going well, too.
Pathetic.
Where did I go wrong, exactly?
Was there a reason to wonder, though? Was this, like, punishment for something?
I could only trick myself so much, you know?
…
I stopped thinking of any more excuses and tried to take in wherever I was.
It wasn't completely silent nor was it dark. I could hear birds singing faintly in the distance.
Shapes of every size were moving behind my eyes, but when I tried to open them, I realized that they already were. Or rather, my vision was inverted inside out. It felt like I was looking into myself.
It was bright.
I was floating in the center of a vortex, surrounded by golden waves.
It was as beautiful as it was fascinating.
I tried to focus, but my astonishment was gently washed away and I felt myself fading.