JENNIE

—Hollywood's Been Feeding Me Lean Cuisines and Lies—

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"Okay, my turn. I'm going on a picnic and I'm bringing apples, barbed wire, chocolate milk, doodie bags, elephant, fake ID, Gone with the Wind book, hot-wired car, instant potato mix, jackknife, Kuma, and Lean Cuisines!" I shriek, overly excited that L landed on my turn. If we make it, I'll be able to bring Richard when I get to the letter R.

Lisa's lips turn sour with disgust. "Lean Cuisines? That shit tastes like dog food."

I gasp in utter horror. "They most certainly do not! They're the most delicious little packages of food! Did you know it's what celebrities eat to stay thin and healthy?"

She certainly knows nothing about Lean Cuisines and it's obvious she's never had the macaroni and cheese one. Her head tilts just slightly to sneak a peek my way and I begin to blush at how flustered her simple smile makes me. Those lips—I swear those lips kissed me after the explosion, but that's not right because she's married.

"You realize all that shit is fake, right?" Her brow lifts.

Another gasp. "It is not. I've tasted them and they're—"

"No, the advertisements. Those rich snobs aren't eating those shit boxes. They get paid to be spokespeople for them." Confusion washes over me. "Really? Come on… You don't think those famous people are sitting around eating microwave meals, do you? They're eating fancy shit like raw fish and kale, if eating at all."

"So, you're telling me…" I twist in my seat so I'm fully facing her. "All that stuff celebrities use in those fashion and fitness magazines are just spokespeople pretending?"

"Yep."

"The hair color that comes in that convenient box?"

"Lies. They go to Rodeo Drive to get their hair done."

Devastation floods through me. "Luscious Locks Shampoo? Because I've been specially ordering it—"

"Guaranteed they wouldn't be caught dead using that cheap shit."

My brain is struggling to process. This whole time, I was living a lie, thinking by using the same products, eating the same glorious meals that I was just like them. I can't—I won't bring myself to ask about Richard. That one has to be true. Who wouldn't want Richard to get them in the best shape of—

"What's going on in that little squirrel brain of yours?" She's eyeing me curiously again. I get lost in the way my skin pebbles with a layer of goose bumps when she blesses me with her quirky side grin for a second time. It's rare I see the laidback side of this girl, and when I do, I want to savor it.

Married. She's married. Don't look at her, Nini!

"Earth to Jennie," she says, urging me on.

My lips part to conjure up some lie, far from my actual thoughts, which are denial that famous people don't also love tuna in a can and how my mind suddenly wonders how delightful it would be to have those full lips pressing against my own.

My stomach decides in that moment to growl something fierce. My hands fly to my belly, also waking a sleeping Kuma. "My goodness." My cheeks flush with embarrassment that such a horrific sound came from inside me.

"Shit, you're hungry," she says, the seriousness back in her voice. Long gone is the easygoing smile I truly hunger for. Wait, no. I don't hunger for it because she has a wife. That's her smile to salivate over.

"No, it's fine, we can—"

"We're stopping. I need to feed you. Plus, we need to find a place to clean up and rest. Our next call is in an hour anyhow."

I don't argue because, now that I think about it, I am truly starved. We missed lunch since we were too busy fighting off bad guys and time must have gotten away from us, with all the road games she surprisingly was compliant in playing.

Lisa pulls off at the next exit and takes a left into the parking lot of a decent sized hotel with a fancy steak restaurant attached. She parks at the end of the lot, away from other vehicles, and turns off the car. "I'm going to go finagle us a room. Can you do what I ask for once and just sit tight?"

I nod, but my legs are already itching to get out of the car and roam. I spotted a cute little antique shop next door. Kuma is doing circles in my lap, needing to go piddle. "Am I able to take Kuma to do his business?" And take a peek into that shop, I say in my head.

"Yeah. Just don't go far. Cool?"

"Cool." I nod. I can do that. Don't go far. She watches me for another second or two before nodding back and taking off toward the entrance.

"Lisa?" I call for her and she halts, turning around as I climb out of the car. I should have stayed seated because when her eyes capture mine, I sway on my feet. My heartrate picks up, but I manage to ask, "Did you need a wingman for this one?"

Her brows lift with amusement, but she shakes her head. "Nah, I got this." And turns around and disappears through the revolving doors.

I sigh, disappointed she didn't say yes. I'm starting to quite enjoy these little games. My list of IOUs is getting a bit out of control, though, as I look down at my battered dress and gasp. How did I not realize how ruined it was? My intimate parts are barely covered! What would Lisa's wife think of me running around with Lisa in this state?

"Oh dear heavens. Kuma, what a minx I've become!" I earn two yaps. I try pulling at the front of the dress to cover my nearly naked breast, but it doesn't help. My cheeks blast crimson at the thought of poor Lisa having to sit there while I looked so brazen and unkept. I tug on Kuma's leash and walk to the back of the car and pop open the trunk. It takes a few tugs since a bullet hole damaged the lock and search through my suitcase for a change of clothes. My heart stops a beat when I move aside the extra leotard I grabbed and spot a yellow patch of material. My lungs constrict and a single tear forms and falls over my lid, cascading down my sun-kissed cheek. Reaching inside my bag, I pull out Momma's yellow dress.

"I grabbed it. I…" I can't finish my own thought, bringing it to my chest and hugging it as if it were my own momma in my arms. Memories of her twirling around in it, holding my hand. Us laughing and being ridiculous. Singing, playing. All the simple things in our life that still managed to bring us both so much joy. In this dress, she was always happy. On those unlucky days when sadness would make its way into our home, those days she fought to get out of bed, I'd find the yellow dress. I never knew what the symbolism of it was. But it made her happy. Sometimes it made her just as sad. But when she wore it, an aura about her shined. It was as if it gave her life. As if she was wearing a happy memory.

I never did ask her why she loved it so much. I felt it was something that was meant just for her. Kind of like how Mabel used to always tell me her secret cookie recipes were her own business and not for anyone else to steal. When Momma died, I wanted her to be buried in it. I felt it would give her peace as she made her way to heaven. But when the day came, I couldn't let it go. I remember Beatrice begging me to let her in. It was time to go and they needed the dress to bury her. But I lay in my bed, wrapped up in it, refusing to let it go. If I let them take the dress, I'd be letting them take away everything I had left of her.

And selfishly, I never did. Mabel, being Momma's best friend too, chose a replacement. One Momma always wore to church and promised me God's door would open wide for her, no matter what she wore. Because she was a true angel.

And when we said our goodbyes and they lowered her into the ground, I hugged myself, tears fogging the last moments I'd ever see her again. And I stood there, wearing her yellow dress, feeling the sun warm my skin. Knowing she was looking down on me. She was proud. She wanted me to feel the happiness she always felt in it.

The thought of my house burning to ashes carried no weight compared to the loss I'd feel of losing this dress. My grip tightens and I press my face into the worn, yet still soft material and I cry. Of grief or joy, I'm not sure. Time takes no pity on the aching heart. It doesn't allow us to heal, before resuming our everyday lives. It's already been a year, but it always feels like just yesterday she left me. I wonder if she crossed over those gates okay. If she's with my father. If together, they're watching over me. Are they proud of me? More tears shed at the ache inside my chest. The emptiness. The loneliness. I miss her so much. I even miss a man I've never met. If I could just turn back time. Maybe catch the signs sooner, I could—

"Hey, little squirrel. You okay?" Lisa's soft voice breaks into my pleading thoughts. I lift my head away from the soaked dress and quickly gather my wits.

"Of course. Something's in my eye."

She doesn't fall for my con, but surprises me when she steps forward, raising her open palms to my shoulders. Her touch is light yet comforting. "I know this isn't easy. But I won't let anyone hurt you. I fucking promise. I'll find the answers you're looking for. We won't stop until we get them, okay?"

It's almost impossible to fight the urge to throw myself into her arms and shed any tears that remain. Just like the damsel falls into the arms of her knight in shining armor as he prepares to save her. But I steady myself and slowly take a breath, knowing this is far from a fairy tale. Instead, I nod and take a step back, needing the space between us.

She waves a plastic card. "I got us a room." Her expression is kind. Gentle. "You can go in and shower first. I'll walk Bingo and wear him out so we can grab some food."

A small smirk fights its way through my sadness. "His name is Bing Kuma."

"Sure. Whatever you say. Go change." There's a struggle in her eyes, but they lose, and her vision drops, a small grumble erupting up her throat. She covers it up with a fake cough. "I'll, uh, just be outside."

My cheeks flare, reminding myself of my state of dress. Kuma yaps and without making any more eye contact, I grab the key and head toward the rooms.

"Nini?"

I turn, hearing her use my shortened name. Is she going to ask me why I was really crying? Ask me to allow her in the room with me? Kiss all my sadness away? Possibly take my virginity, which I would be willing to offer her? "Yeah?"

"One-oh-four. It's the other way."

Confusion. "What?"

She stares at me, as if she's trying to crack open my soul. Her hands now shoved into her jeans pockets, she also seems fidgety. As if she wants to make the same requests. Instead, she points in the opposite direction I was currently heading.

"The room. It's the other way."

Right. Room. Me going to it. Alone and with my virginity intact. Lordy, Jennie. Get it together. She's married. I nod, and without further self-embarrassment I turn the other way and scurry to our room.

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Making my way outside, the sun is still high in the sky, feeding the humidity and heat. I cover my eyes to search out Lisa, when I see her. She looks handsome with her hands shoved into her pockets and a crooked grin on her face. Her hair is wet and she smells nice.

"Wow, you clean up nicely," she says, taking longer than a true gentleman would to admire a lady. "The dress looks beautiful on you. Really brings out your eyes."

"Thanks," I kindly reply. "It was my mother's."

"You, uh… Wow, look great. Certainly not like someone who's been kidnapped by a con and on the run."

I can't help but smile. Even after laying our cards on the table, she still manages to crack a joke and make me laugh.

"You too. Do I want to know how you showered since I was in the room the whole time?"

Her shoulders rise in a carefree shrug. "A true con will never tell." My lips perk up and a small little giggle slips out. "Now, let's go get some dinner." She sticks out her hand for me to take it, and with a short pause, I entwine my fingers through hers. For the con, of course. Not real. She leads the way toward the restaurant.

As we get closer, a small wave of excitement starts to swirl inside my belly. "So, what's the plan this time? Are we stealing a credit card? Holding up a waitress to give us someone else's food? Maybe pretending we're the cooks and making anything we want?"

Lisa's chuckle is food for the soul. I could just feast off that alone. "No. I haven't thought of it just yet. Figured we get seated first."

"What can I do? Should I make a scene? Pretend I'm choking and you can steal someone's plate?"

She tugs at my hand, causing me to fall into her. Her fingers slip out of mine, only to wrap her arm around my waist. "How about you just look pretty as you already are and let the con do the con work?" She winks at me, and I barely hold my posture as I trip over my own two feet. She catches me, her grip tightening and cocooning me into her chest. My nose presses into her chest, and shamefully I inhale, the smell of fresh soap assaulting my nostrils. "Forget how to use those two feet?" She chuckles, steadying me on my feet. I want to continue to hide my face so she doesn't see my flushed cheeks. Ever since she walked through my door, or bashed through is it more like it, my body has been introduced to so many unfamiliar emotions. The tingles, flutters, hot, cold. I'm confused at what it all means. One thing is for certain, I think I'm attracted to my kidnapper. And it's all her fault because she's a shameless flirt.

"Cat got your tongue?"

I forget she's waiting for a response. I muster up the strength and ignore the feelings I may inappropriately be having and step out of her warm, inviting hold. Mentally I sigh in disappointment, because it felt nice to be so close, but then smack myself for slipping back into my improper thoughts. "Actually no. You said we were in this together. Which means I'm also a con." I double regret pulling away when the sound of her laughter reverberates across the parking lot, wanting to feel the vibration against my nipples. Lordy, pull it together. "Laugh all you want, but I'm a con too. I have a few tricks up my sleeve as well."

Her arms cross over her chest, her lips spreading into a curious grin. "Do you now? And what's your plan, little squirrel?"

I'm unsure if I approve of this little nickname, but certainly approve of the way her eyes eat me alive as she stares at me waiting for my answer. Visions of her doing things, such shameful things with those eyes, her hands, Lordy, that tongue that just stuck out of her mouth wetting her sexy bottom lip. Wait. No. She has a wife! "Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

Shoot. I'm losing it. I'm hungry. It's because I haven't eaten that my mind has gone rogue. This is not a romance book, Nini. Get it together. She does not want to devour you piece by piece because she has someone already. "Stop trying to take control, is what I meant. If we're in this together, we do the cons together. Or I'm out." More laughter. Shoot, I need to stop that tingling thing.

"You know you're my captive, right? You can't be out."

"Well, I won't be compliant." I would be if—

"Babe, you have yet to be compliant. What would be the difference?"

Babe? I pretend I didn't hear that pet name—for her wife's sake—and completely ignore the flutters in my belly. Ugh. She's winning this. I stick my chin up with confidence in my tone. "I want to do the next con."

"Which is?" She smiles.

"Dinner. And I get to choose how it happens." I'm not sure what will happen next. She may laugh at me and allow it. Or she may drag me back to the room and tie me to the bed and go feed herself, which would be a shame because I've never eaten outside of Teterboro diners and I would love to try something new.

To my surprise, she unlocks her arms and puts her hands in the air in surrender. "Fair enough. You win, Con Master. Show me the way."

Wow! "Really?… I mean. Yes. Let's go." This time I grab her hand and continue to walk. Lisa doesn't say a word but maintains her humorous smile as I drag her through the doors of the steakhouse.

Once we enter, I'm thankful that no one is at the hostess booth. Releasing Lisa's hand, I sneak behind the booth and scroll through the reservations sheet. Memorizing a few last names and table numbers, I take note of the time they arrived and which ones should soon be completing their meals. Three tables are hitting two hours. Bingo.

I step out of the booth and peek my head into the main dining area. Table one is still eating dessert. Table two sipping on final drinks. Table three. Voila! I wait for them to retrieve their jackets and walk away when I hurry over to the table and take a seat, grabbing the billfold holding the receipt and tip. I quickly skim the room for a waitress in another section and grab her attention.

"Excuse me, miss, my parents just left, but we forgot to place an order to go for the rest of the family. My brothers refused to get off their butts and stop playing videogames to come eat. Boys, ya know? Anyhow, I need to place an order to go, and just throw it on the same card."

She eyes me annoyingly. I slip the fifty-dollar bill stuffed in the billfold out and wave it at her. "A huge tip is in it for you if you hurry. My brothers can be tyrants if not fed."

Her eyes light up at the money.

"Sure thing, what can I put in for you, miss?"

Shoot. I grab the menu and hurry to give her some items. Unfortunately, all items on the menu are unfamiliar to me. Nowhere in Teterboro serves chateaubriand steak or lobster frittata. "Umm… I would like…"

"Sister, there you are. Kuma is getting really aggressive. You need to hurry." My head whips to Lisa, who's now next to me taking the menu out of my hand. "Hmmm… Let's make this fast and easy. Two Guinness burgers, fries. Throw in an order of your Prosciutto and pea farfalle." She turns to me. "Do you think they want duck? They may be sick of eating duck." I open my mouth to attempt an answer, but she doesn't wait for my reply. "Yeah, you're right. No duck. Let's just stick to the calamari and bruschetta. Oh! And let's not forget dessert. Kuma sure gets yappy when he doesn't get dessert. Right here. We'll take a slice of the chocolate ganache cake." Lisa hands the girl the menu. "And please hurry. I'll write in a fatter tip if you make this quick."

She nods and rushes with our order straight back to the kitchen.

I turn to her, my voice hushed. "This was my con."

"And I know the signature look when someone gets stuck. You were stuck. I saved you."

My eyebrows crease, ready to give her some lip for interfering, but she in turn wiggles her brows back at me. "Partners, remember?"

The waitress sure wanted that big tip because she was handing us two hefty to-go bags in under twenty minutes. Lisa adjusted the tip on the receipt, giving her a hundred-dollar tip. This allowed her to forget the fifty I was holding, which we pocketed. I took a mental note of the name of the receipt to write an IOU for, and we walked hand in hand out of the restaurant.

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When we finally make it back to our room, I'm famished. I have no idea what she ordered, but it smells divine.

While I grab the plastic cups by the coffee maker for drinks, Lisa lays out our feast.

"This looks amazing. Too bad I have no idea what this all is."

She gives me that quirky side eye. "You've never had a burger before?"

"Pfft, I've eaten a burger, miss. It's a household staple. But what is that?" I point to the little fried rings.

"These? Calamari? You've seriously never had fried calamari?"

Clearly not. "What is it? Like a mini onion ring?"

She shakes her head but takes my hand and pulls out the chair of the small table shoved in the corner of the room. She sits me down and with a plastic fork, pokes at a piece of food, dipping it into a red sauce and bringing it to my lips. "Open." I'm hesitant because Lord knows what she could be feeding me. "Nini, do you trust me?"

I don't know, do I? Just a half an hour ago you were willing to allow her to take your virginity despite her marital status. Okay. Good point. "Yes, I trust you."

"Then open."

And I do. The tasty morsel slips off the fork into my mouth and the first bite sends me into a euphoric state of bliss. "My goodness, what is that? It's delicious!" Just as I swallow the bite, she's ready with another waiting. Three bites in, she opens another container.

"Squid." She pauses to smirk at me when I stop mid chew. "And don't think about it too long or it gets weird. Tell me you've had bruschetta?"

I shake my head. Squid does taste delicious, though I'm not going to ponder on it for long because then I think about the tentacles and—ack! Bruschetta. Focus on that. It looks good, but who would have thought to put small little tomato bits with cheese on a toasted piece of bread. When I take a bite of it, a strange moan filters up my throat and my eyes flutter just a bit. "How in heavens have I not had this before?" I ask while taking another bite.

"No idea. But I swear I'm getting just as much enjoyment watching you eat if for the first time."

At that we both laugh. We go through each meal, not realizing that we're now both holding forks feeding each other bite after bite.

"Nini, can I ask you a question?"

"As long as you don't stop with the pasta bites."

More laughter. "Deal. How is it you've been so sheltered? I don't say that in a bad way. Just… How the fuck have you been so sheltered?"

"Well, to be honest, I guess I never really knew I was. Teterboro is all I know. I was raised there and never went as much as a foot outside the town lines. I followed in the same footsteps as everyone else. Which are all into retirement so…" I take a minute to gather my thoughts. "I just, didn't know really there was an outside world, besides what I read in my tabloid magazines. No one new or young came through our town. Everything was the same. So, I guess… to answer your question, I just didn't know."

"Hey." She grabs my chin to meet her gaze. "There's nothing wrong with it. I didn't ask you to poke fun. I asked because for some fucking crazy reason, I enjoy watching you explore new shit. And if something as simple as calamari puts that smile on your face, then for the rest of our time together, I'll work to keep it there."

We stare at one another, sharing a moment. An unspoken understanding. Even though we come from two different worlds, in this moment, we're the same.

"Well then, if that's the case, I want to introduce you to Richard."

Whatever I've done right to deserve that smile. I thank the Lord above.

"Richard," she says, her voice smooth like butter on a warm morning biscuit, melting my heart.

"Yes. If we're going to continue on this journey, it's a must you get to know Richard."

"Now?"

"No time like the present." I scoot my chair back, eager to show her. "Get up, miss. Quoting Richard's famous words, move those buns!" With a smile as wide as the sky, I hurry to my suitcase and rummage through until I find the tape. Pulling it out, I pivot toward the TV, thankful to see a VHS recorder. I pop the video in and turn on the television. "Get your tush over here and prepare to have Richard change your life." The intro portion starts and my adrenaline spikes. How I missed Richard. "You know, I watched an interview once. He said that no one is perfect. Like precious stones, we all have a few flaws. But to not focus on that. Focus on what we like about ourselves and that will bring us happiness and peace." I look over at Lisa, now standing next to me. "He's very philosophical," I say with a serious smile. Richard comes on and I begin to clap along with him. "Come on. Follow him—oh wait! Should I change into my leotard—"

"NO… I mean nah. We don't want to keep Richard waiting."

Good point. I turn back to the video. "Now, before we get started, we should get familiar with our heartrate…" Richard goes through his intro, making sure we're ready for his workout. "Sweatin' to the Oldies is my favorite. I bet it becomes yours too." I offer Lisa my energetic smile, lifting each foot up and down. Kuma yaps a few times, his tail wagging as though he agrees wholeheartedly.

"Oh, I'm sure it is. I can see why," she says. She may possibly be making fun, but she begins to lift her legs up and down, following Richard's lead. It doesn't bother me, because I know it takes just one full video to get hooked.

Thirty minutes fly by and before we know it, we're both laughing as Richard instructs us to swing our hips. Lisa is even snapping her knuckles to the beat of the music. "See! Isn't this fun!"

"I'm loving it," she says, laughter coding her sarcasm. But she is. She's been smiling and following like a perfect little student since the tape began. Once it's done, we both exhale and fall onto the bed laughing. "Wow, who would've known I'd actually enjoy me some Richard."

I position myself up on my elbows to lean toward her. "I told you. He's magical. My favorite quote of his was from an article, 'Love yourself for all of you, and everyone else will too.' He just makes you feel beautiful—"

I swallow the rest of my words when Lisa's head is off the bed, her mouth capturing mine. I don't have time to prepare. Or remind her she has a wife. Her hand cradles behind my head, trying to deepen our kiss. So unexpected, yet I find myself submitting to her touch, my lips fusing to hers. With just a swoop of her tongue, I'm parting my lips and allowing her to explore. I've never officially kissed someone like this before, so I'm lost in what to do. She doesn't take notice in my inexperience and takes my mouth slow. She tastes like chocolate. I muster up the courage and move my tongue around hers, which earns me a subtle moan. Her hand grips my hair, squeezing and pulling me even closer. This kiss is everything. I want to focus and memorize every little part of it. My hands lift from the bed and travel up her chest just as her phone starts to ring.

Lisa becomes rigid instantly, her grip no longer pulling me toward her, but now pushing me away. "Fuck!" She jumps off the bed, causing me to roll over, almost falling off. "Fuck!" she roars again and goes for her phone on the table. "What time is it?" she growls as my eyes hurry to find the time. Oh God. It's thirty minutes past five. We were supposed to call Mr. Death. She has her wife. I'm a rotten person.

"Lisa—"

I say her name with worry just as she grabs her phone, taking a deep breath and answering Mr. Death's call.

"I'm fucking sorry. I lost track of time. Please tell me they're okay."

"Ahh, Lisa. I can't do that."

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