JENNIE

—Pappa Death?—

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"More tea, Princess Bing?" Cala asks. Kuma yaps, his tail wagging through the princess dress Cala borrowed from her doll and dressed him in. "And you, Queen Jennie?"

"Oh, why but of course, Princess Cala. This is the best tea in all the land." I raise my still half full teacup so she can refill it up to the top. With the three sips I've already taken down, I've confirmed her secret recipe is water, chocolate syrup, and possibly salt. My stomach is already starting to rumble a wee bit, but no one turns down tea with a princess.

"Would you like another cookie, Princess Jennie?" My stomach churns. I'm on my third frozen French toast stick. My belly says please God no, but my heart and that sweet little smile has me lifting my tiny plate for another raw stick.

"Why thank you. This breakfast has been simply magical! You make a beautiful princess, Cala."

"So do you! I love your makeup. You look beautiful. I can see why aunt Lisa married you."

I smile back, my heart threatening to explode with love. I've only just met her, but I'm already so much in love.

"Would you like me to touch up your lipstick now?" Before tea, Cala insisted on doing my makeup. At the current moment I have purple on one eye, starting from my lid to my forehead and the other is pink with glitter to my ear.

"Sure!" As much as I know how silly I must look, I'm enjoying myself immensely. Playing dress-up and having a tea party reminds me of when I was a little girl. And of Momma. She would always drink any concoction I made, even when I swore dirt was a natural spice. Cala giggles and reaches into her pink purse and pulls out the tube of red lipstick. She gets up from the tiny table we're sitting at and pats Kuma, who wags his tail, causing the bow wrapped around his tail to fall off. He jumps onto the table, his painted nails pawing at his frozen French toast stick as he eats away.

"Now, stand still. I don't want to mess it up," she says, a serious look on her face as she tries her best to stay in the lines of my lips. I feel the lipstick swipe my nostril, go a little past my lip line, and onto my cheek. I also may be wearing some on my chin and am resembling the Joker.

"You look so pretty. Let's go find Pappa Death and see if he wants to take us to the ball. He can drive us around in the tracker. He does that sometimes."

Pappa Death. Interesting. "Princess Cala, has Pappa Death been nice to you?"

Her eyes light up. "Oh, yes. He's very nice. He yells sometimes, but then he says sorry. He buys me lots of stuff. And Mommy too."

"Has he told you why you're here?"

She pulls out her brush and starts combing my hair. "He says me and Mommy make him happy."

Happy?

None of this is adding up. He kidnapped them as collateral to get me. But we still have no idea why. And why has he been so kind to them?

"Right now, Mommy is sad. I think Pappa Death made her cry. She cried all night long. She didn't want to play dress-up with me. But maybe if she sees how pretty we both look, she will want to play too."

My heart sinks. What did Mr. Death do to Chaeng? Has he been… Is she… "Hey, how about you wait here and I'll go find out if Mommy wants to play? Sound good?"

Cala perks up and jumps off my lap. I stand, popping a button in the too small princess dress Cala insisted I squeeze into. "Hurry, go go!" She tugs at my arm. I start to walk, sadly catching the gown under my feet, and trip.

"Shoot, I'm okay!" Minus the huge tear in the back of the dress.

I walk down the quiet hall to the room Cala and Chaeng share. I knock gently, with no reply. I knock again, but this time, I open the door. Chaeng is lying in bed on her side, making soft sounds of sniffling.

"Chaeng, are you okay?" I call out. She doesn't answer me, so I step farther into the room and sit on the bed next to her. "Please, talk to me. Is he hurting you? Has he done anything that you don't—"

"He's horrible and I hate him." She starts to cry into her pillow. My heart sinks once again at the thought.

"Chaeng, please, tell me what he's done. I want to help."

She sniffles, lifting her head out of the pillow. "He's such a—Jesus!" Her body flinches, causing me to shoot off the bed.

"Oh, Jennie, I'm so sorry! You, I didn't expect to see you so…"

"I've had a wonderful morning with your daughter. Does it show?" I smirk, throwing my hair back to accentuate my makeup job. Thankfully that gets a small laugh from her. I sit back down. "Tell me what's wrong, please."

She stares at me, debating on opening up. "He's just…just…so hot and cold. One minute he's this wonderful man. Gentle. Caring. The way he…" She stalls.

"The way he what?" I brace myself to hear it. If he touched her against her will, I swear to God…

"He's… I don't know how to describe it. But when he's not this man who makes me feel, he's a monster."

Makes her feel? Oh boy. Talk about an eye for an eye. If Death was upset about Lisa and me… "Chaeng, is something going on between you and Dr. Death?"

"It's Mr. and…and… I can't." Her face falls back into the pillow and she begins to heavily cry. I wrap my arms around her for comfort until her tears subside. She lifts her head back and sits up. "There's something I have to tell you."

Oh crap on a cracker.

"I saw Lisa last night."

"What! Where?" My heartrate speeds up. God, I miss her so much! "I need to see her. Can you take me to her? Is she okay? Did she ask about me? Did you tell her that Billy was—"

"Jennie, wait."

I stop talking, confused. She should be happy, not so upset to reunite with her sister.

"I found her in the barn. I heard Vincent and his henchman talking about her. So, once we all went to bed last night, I went in search of her. And I found her." The torment in her eyes has my stomach turning. "She didn't look good. She was all bruised and bloody. I tried to free her, but then Vincent caught me."

No. No. No.

"I tried," she chokes out. "I tried, but he ripped me out of the barn. Said for his henchman to take her to the city. Jennie, I'm scared he's going to do something to her."

My breakfast threatens to come up. No. He wouldn't. He made a deal. He has me. He said he would let everyone else go. "But, but…he doesn't want Lisa. He wants me. He made a deal."

Her cries gut me. "And he's going back on it. He told me last night, before tossing me in here, that we weren't going anywhere. He said the tables have turned and Lisa got herself into trouble he's not willing to risk getting her out of. I should forget my sister."

No…

The room around me spins. Chaeng reaches to steady me. Image after image of Lisa and her beautiful smile, her infectious laugh, her strong, greedy hands fly through my brain. No. He won't take that from me. "No."

"No what? What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to tell that big oaf what I think of him and demand he bring me back my wife. He made a deal. And he will stick to it. Or else!" I stand up abruptly, catching the dress under my heel, and trip to the ground. "I'm okay!" I pop up and storm out of her room in search of the big, bad Dr. Death.

I find him in his office, on a call.

"Find the goddamn location!" he roars and slams the phone on its base. "Oh hello—Jesus!"

"Don't you Jesus me, you Dr. Deal breaker! Now you listen to me. We had a deal. Me for them. And you're gonna stick to it or I'm gonna make your life a living hell!"

He shoots up from his chair. "Oh yeah? And how's that? Scare me into a heart attack with that makeup, already done. I'm busy, so if you can excuse—"

"I don't think so, Death Trap. I want to see Lisa. And I want to see her now. I want her unharmed and then we're leaving. All of us. Even the goats."

"You're not taking anyone."

"Yes, I am."

"The hell you are! Everyone stays. Even my damn goats! You have no idea who you got yourself involved with! And to marry her! The risk you put yourself in. Now I'm forced to clean it all up. Forget about her."

The nerve. A monster is right. I take a step closer to him and strangely I watch him cower a bit. Good. "You know what? I feel sorry for you. A lonely man, here on his farm, with no care or heart for anyone but himself. Unlike you, I was raised to love and have compassion. And you may not have anyone to show you love, but my momma raised me to be kind and treat others the way I would want to be treated. And I've always stuck to that motto because I loved my momma and she always knew best. But right now? I look at you, and I don't think you deserve to be treated with any kindness. You do nothing but hurt people. Steal. Probably do murder people and bury them in your crops."

"You been talking to that cuckoo next door. He has no—"

"I've been talking to you! I've been holding Chaeng while she cries her eyes out! Why is that? What did you do to her?" I demand.

He clears his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Nothing. Wha-What did she say I did?"

"She said you're a monster. And you are! This game, whatever it is you're playing, is over! I want Lisa back here now—"

"That's impossible!" he yells, shaking the ground below me. His fists slam onto his desk causing a picture frame to fall and shatter. "Last time I checked, I make the rules!"

"Well, your rules suck! They hurt people. Especially the ones I love."

"You don't love her. You barely know her."

"I know that she's shown me more heart and compassion in the past week than I've had in my entire life. I've never felt so alive and happy since my…" My lower lip shakes. NO. I refuse to show him my weakness. My back stiffens. "I do love her. Something you've never felt."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I sure do. I can see it in your eyes. Cold. Dead. Like your silly name. Is being a big bad mobster so lonely? No time for love? Maybe you should try a dating site and get a lady friend. My friend Dennis was telling me about places where you just swipe left or right. Stop being so grouchy and hateful and kidnapping people!"

"Get out of here. We're done with this discussion—"

"No, we're not. What, truth hurts? No one's ever loved—"

"OUT! GET OUT! Before I drag you out of here!" He's seething. But so am I. I'm not going to let him win. If he won't stick to this deal, then I'll just have to get Lisa back myself. I'm resourceful and smart and I have love on my side. I give him one last evil stare before turning on my heel and storming out of his office.

Don't worry, Lisa. I'm coming for you.

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Currently, the three of us are holed up in my room, all of Cala's toys being used as a blueprint for our rescue mission.

"Okay, listen up. I know you think it's best to wait until everyone goes down for the night, but I can't wait that long knowing Lisa may be in danger. So, this is the plan." I point to Cala's dollhouse, portraying the farmhouse. "From what you've said, Chaeng, Paul normally goes for a drive just before dinner."

"I think he smokes or has a girlfriend. He always comes back smelling like perfume." Cala giggles and I give her a wink.

"When he leaves, we'll have you go and distract Death. Tell him you want to talk. Cry…do anything to get him to turn on his forgiving side."

Chaeng's eyes soften. Something's definitely been going on between them while she's been here, there's no doubt. I just hope she's able to step it up and turn her back on him when the time comes.

"So, then what are you going to do? We don't know where they took Lisa. He just said to the city property. That can be anywhere. It could take us forever to locate her. And his office is always super secure."

"Leave that to me. While Paul leaves, you handle Death. I'll just sneak in there and snoop."

"Jennie no, it's too risky. If he catches you…"

"If he catches me, I'll take the heat. But I have to get into his office and search for clues to where he may have Lisa, because it may be our only chance at finding her." Kuma yaps, agreeing with me. Chaeng looks unsure of the idea, but I don't see any other way.

"So, everyone understands what they need to do?"

Chaeng nods and so does Cala.

Chaeng stands. "I'm going to sneak over to the neighbor's and ask to borrow the keys to his car. That way, once we find the information, we can get the hell out of here. Can you keep an eye on Cala until I get back?"

Cala's eyes light up, and I know she has another great idea on how to spend our time together. "Hide and go seek, Nini!"

Hide and go seek it is.

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Cala's version of hide and go seek turns into hide and seek and tag and dance. If you get caught in your hiding spot you have the chance to run away, but if you're tagged you must dance. I've been tagged four times. I'm starting to run out of spunk because this little girl is quick.

I'm running down the stairs as I watch her take a swift left. "I'm gonna catch you!" I holler, hearing her little giggle echo down the hallway.

"Nanabooobooo, no, you're not!" she squeals, and I watch her disappear into the library. I try and slow my pace when I enter, but still manage to slip when making my turn. My socks on the wooden floor cause me to slide into the wall, but I catch myself as I run into the room.

"I'm gonna get you!" I playfully taunt and listen for her little laughter. I can't help but laugh at myself at how much fun I'm having. I'm out of breath. My head turns to survey the room. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Giggling sounds from behind the reading chair in the right corner and I spot her little feet. I tiptoe, pretending I don't see her, and head to the matching chair in the other corner of the room. "Hmmmm… I smell a little girl…but I don't see a little girl." More giggling. "Maybe she's under here!" I quickly tug up the rug, hearing her squeal causing myself to giggle. "Or how about…over here!" I stick my head behind the chair. Cala jumps and I whip my head in her direction. "Ah! I caught you!" I jump toward her just as she pops up in excitement, knocking an end table into the bookshelf. I quickly grab her just as a bunch of books fall from the shelf, almost smacking her in the head.

"Uh oh. Sorry, Jennie. I didn't mean to."

I hug her to me. "It's okay, honey. They're just books. We'll pick 'em up." I bend down to scoop up the books and a bunch of papers and photos that fell out.

"Are we going to get in trouble?" she asks, biting her lower lip.

"Of course not. We'll just stuff these photos back where…"

What…

My eyes start playing tricks on me.

My hand stalls in stuffing a photograph back into the book. I know the people in the photograph. Because it's my mother and me as a baby. I've seen this before, but in my version, there isn't a man in the photo. A man holding me. I try and shake off the confusion, but more questions arise as I flip to another one. One of Momma.

And him. Another one of us, Momma holding up a sign in front of the antique shop. Another one of her and him in front of Miss Russet.

"What…"

My hands shake as I pick up a short letter and unfold it.

V..

Please return to me. I can't do this without you. She needs you too.

Always in my heart,

Layla

It's my mother's handwriting, I know it. The date is from twenty years ago. I was two. I scramble to open another one.

V..

I thought I saw you tonight. My heart is hurting. Please come home to me. We will figure it out. The only danger is my heart without you. She needs you.

Always in my heart,

Layla.

Why? Why? Why? I can barely open the last one, my hands are shaking terribly.

V..

This is my last letter to you. I'm ill. My heart can't take this life, nor can the disease growing inside me. Soon I'll be gone and she'll be alone. If not for me, do it for her. She needs you.

Always in my heart,

Layla

The letter was dated two days before Momma died.

My world spins and I threaten to lose consciousness. My hand shoots out, catching myself as everything goes in and out. My chest feels heavy and I can't breathe.

"Jennie, are you okay?"

No.

No.

No.

My hand covers my heart.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Cala runs out of the room and I faintly hear her calling for help. Please tell me this isn't true.

"What's happened? What's wrong?" I hear his voice, laced with concern, boom through the room. It's then I slowly turn to face him.

"Jennie." His tone is soft, his eyes screaming with guilt.

"You're…my father?"

"Let me explain. There are reasons why—"

"You've been alive this whole time?"

He takes a cautious step closer to me, but I throw a hand out.

"You've been alive, knowing she spent her entire life pining for you? Loving you? You let her die without you!" I can barely hold myself up, so much confusion and anger are bulldozing through my mind.

"Jennie—"

"She prayed every night for you. Every night. I never got it. I never understood how after so many years she couldn't just let you go. Be at peace with your death. It was because she knew you were alive. And me… I didn't know how to fix what was so broken inside her because I knew I couldn't bring you back to her. Years, years!" I scream, crumbling the photo in my hand. "I thought it was me. I reminded her too much of you. Times when there was too much pain to look at me. Why?"

"Why?"

"Why did you leave her? Leave us?" I fight to breathe, grabbing at my stomach to coddle the blast of pain inside my chest. "She never truly lived without you. Did you know that? She spent her entire life trying to make me believe I was the only thing that mattered. But deep down it was always you. A man I thought left unwillingly because God took him."

His shoulders slump, his chest going in and out, breathing deep. "I had to leave you two."

"No one has to leave their family!" I yell.

"You were in danger. It was either risk them finding you and your mother and killing you both or leaving so you can have a life outside of the risks."

"Risks? Risks!" I throw the letters at him. "Did you ever write her back? Even just once? Did you know she wrote in a journal every single night? Same paper as that. How many letters did she write you?"

His head bows.

"The night of the carnival. Was it you? Did she see you?"

His head lifts and the moment our eyes collide, my heart breaks in half. "Yes." I exhale in a sorrowful choke. "I wanted to come back so bad. I missed you both. It was hell for me too. I stayed away because it was what needed to happen. I got weak that one time and it almost cost you both your life."

"You cost her her life."

He takes a step closer. "Jennie."

"She died without you!" My tears pour down my cheeks.

"Nini, please. I didn't know she was sick. I was away on business. She would always send the letters to the farm. By the time I got back here, it was too late. I would never have stayed away if I knew. I never would have…" He has to stop to rein in his own emotions. "I loved her. More than anything. I loved you both enough to walk away."

"Well, I hate you. Hate you! You should never have come for me. I was just fine without you. I would have continued to be."

"They found you. The bad men who I've been hiding you from found you. That's why I brought you home." His words threaten to knock me off my axis once again. This isn't my home. My home is in Teterboro with my momma. "Before we settled you both in New Jersey, we lived here. Layla and I. We got married, built this house together, and bought a bunch of goats. Goddamn goats. That's what your mother wanted."

His words seep into my mind. Images. Conversations, the tiniest little clues that now make sense.

Once upon a time I had a library where I would sit and read for hours and get lost in the most magical fairy tales.

Don't be silly, goats would make great pets. They actually have very charming personalities.

In another life we'd live on a farm. It'd be peaceful and we'd grow our own crops and not need anyone else but each other.

The whole time. She talked about this place. And I never knew.

I look around the room, picturing Momma sitting in the chair reading. Imagine her outside in the barn, petting Juniper or probably Juniper's mom. Enjoying the wrap-around porch she always talked about.

"She…she…"

"She loved it here. So did you."

I shake my head. "Stop. Stop! So what, now that my life's in danger you feel you can just step up and be my father? And if I wasn't in danger? Would you have ever come for me?"

He doesn't need to answer for me to know that answer.

"Oh God." I bend over, feeling sick. This is all too much. Too much.

"Jennie—"

"Vinnie, sorry to interrupt." Another henchman pops his head into the library.

"Not now, Harry."

"But, Boss—"

"I said not now!"

"I know, Boss, but it's bad."

I lift my head to the man who entered just as Death whips around. "Spit it out and then get the fuck out of here."

"We got the location. Rossi intercepted their car last night. Paul and Lisa never made it to the city compound."

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