WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING
The acid trip that you're about to read was written during a two month hiatus - it consists of a bunch of random nonsense stitched to a regular chapter using duct tape, glue, nails and whatever other tools the author found in his basement. This chapter has been rewritten about four times now.
The author still thinks it's garbage but he got too tired from rewriting it and so he decided to upload the current iteration.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Also…
Expect there to be some grammatical errors as I haven't proofread the chapter, I've spent 10 hours awake writing this down starting at 6 am and I honestly don't have the patience.
Also…
The following is 100% canon. KEKW
- o - o -
Every member of the Birch family is outside, with the exception of the Professor's Sceptile. Currently they can be seen walking around the city center, having what you could call 'Quality Family Time'.
It has become a sort of tradition for the family to go out every Sunday. Whether they spend their time shopping around in the city center, have a picnic, watch a movie, or maybe even go to the local Gym to observe the ever ongoing trainer battles. It doesn't really matter what they do, it just matters that they're together on this day.
Although Celefio the Sceptile isn't here this week, he actually shows up semi-regularly. The activities they engage in are greatly enjoyable for him as well.
Today though, there's something different about our little otherworldly protagonist. Something a bit more… dark and indecent.
As it is normal, he is being held by Brendan.
Mudkip's Thoughts : Man… now that I think about it… Is pokephilia a problem here?
Narrator : …
Narrator : *Places hands on face*
Narrator's thoughts : I guess this is what happens when God randomly wakes up at 2 A.M. and begins to write. Okay… here we go…
Narrator : Indeed - our main character is staring directly at the lovable Lopunny's rump. Watching intently as she walks.
Mudkip's Thoughts : I mean. I wasn't a furry back then, buuuut…
Narrator : A wise dank man once said "When someone makes a statement and then follows it with 'but', get ready for them to immediately say the exact opposite of said statement, completely disregarding it."
Mudkip's Thoughts : …I know I would have liked her. Actually, why is it only now that I have noticed 'those' assets of hers? For old me that would have been the first thing to notice.
Narrator : An easily answered question. A year old pokemon can't really feel lust, even if they mature many times faster than humans. In a couple of years though… Little does our Mudkip know of the fearsome trials that await him further down the line. When his love 'blossoms' for the second time, the horrifying realization that he truly isn't human anymore, and neither are his 'feelings'.
Narrator? : *Looks up pokemon Egg Groups*
Narrator? : Oh Wow. This guy is so fucked. Literally and figuratively. Dragonite, Milotic… Garchomp and Salazzle? Oh boy… Tyranitar, Tyrantrum, Charizard. His saving grace is that the fierce ones happen to be weak to water, not that it's gonna stop them… Oooh Haxorus isn't weak to it though. God help him(God: rubs hands together menacingly) if a Snorlax takes interest. Heh Heh.
Narrator : Alright, it is what it is. Where was I? Ahem…
Narrator : The terror of finding out that most pokemon have no real concept or care for such petty things as 'law and order', especially ones who practically live in the arena. 'Civilized' pokemon like the ones he's surrounded by are rare and far between. All he needs to do is to 'open his eyes' and look at the world around him to find the obvious, even in his own class most pokemon are what he'd consider 'feral'. Through a quirk of fate - he's never talked to a feral, the concept foreign to him.
Narrator : The Mudkip turns to look at Brendan, his position only allowing him to see the kid's chin.
Mudkip's Thoughts : No way that he would… right?
Mudkip's Thoughts : No, I'm just growing delusional here. Imagination's running way too wild all of a sudden. This is a different world with different rules. I'm sure that it's not a problem.
Mudkip's Thoughts : Also, this is something else I've noticed. In my entire time here I don't believe I've ever met even a single bad looking person… is anime logic at play here? Even the elders don't look that bad. You could even call them energetic. Hmm. Maybe it's because everybody contains aura? No matter how small the amount it should count for something right? Maybe that is what's affecting people's appearance…
Narrator: That very same moment the family is passed by a duo. A Gardevoir and a teenager holding hands, smiling. No parents in sight. Immediately snapping the protagonist's thoughts from his little tangent and back to his original question.
Mudkip's Thoughts : …
Mudkip's Thoughts : Bro, who am I even kidding. If the people here are half as degenerate, even a small fraction of a percent as degenerate as they were back home, this place would be absolutely crawling with deviants left and right.
Gardevoir : *Turns around*
Narrator : Strangely, purple symbols from that one anime with the muscled men manifest around her, slowly moving and shifting. A bright blood red shine can be seen in both her eyes.
Narrator : In that moment all of the Mudkips neurons fired up, working at an absolute and never before thought possible 100% effectiveness. Every single muscle in his body tensing up, even his very soul standing at the utmost highest stage of attention. All of them telling him the same thing…
Mudkip's Thoughts : Shit! Gotta dip!
Brendan : BEL?!
Narrator : Wrestling from the grip of his trainer, the little Mudkip flees in the opposite direction and into the alleys.
Narrator : He was found several hours later by an Officer Jenny and her Growlithe, after the family went to the police station for help in finding the lost pokemon. In an odd turn of events the Mudkip was discovered standing over two men and several pokemon - all of them unconscious and drenched. The men were later found out to be members of the criminal group Team Rocket, trying to smuggle pokemon out of the Hoenn.
Narrator : Officer Jenny is still weirded out by the event, such that she hasn't stopped talking about it since. She still cannot wrap her mind around the event, how a stage one pokemon was able to beat multiple other pokemon and come out on top with not even a scratch to show for it.
- o - o -
Teenager (Over psychic link) : So… Any particular reason you decided to randomly cast a maximum power fear illusion on that little Mudkip?
Gardevoir (Over psychic link) : His emotions told me that he thought something really rude about us.
Teenager (Over psychic link) : Oh, then all is forgiven… NOT!
*Slap*
Teenager (Over psychic link) : This is the third time this week Garde! Absolutely inexcusable! If I knew that you were such an impulsive brat around people I never would have brought you to the city! No more poffins until you set yourself straight. We'll be doing emotion training starting monday!
Gardevoir (Over psychic link) : That's a thing?
Teenager (Over psychic link) : It is now because of you!
Gardevoir (Over psychic link) : *A single tear rolls down eye* Okay…
Narrator : On the outside it looked like he just randomly slapped his pokemon on the back of the head. Even if someone noticed they don't say anything about it - too intimidated by such a young man owning a pokemon this powerful and rare.
Teenager (Over psychic link) : At least nobody shat himself this time around.
Gardevoir : *Sweating*
- o - o -
Rocket Member 1 : …We got too greedy.
Rocket Member 2 : Yeargh. (Yeah.)
Rocket Member 1 : What even was that thing? It knocked out all my pokemon in one hit.
Rocket Member 2 : Ah ont noe. Ah least ya gat ta see it en acshon. Et jost shot meh en da jaw an knok me out. (I don't know. At least you got to see it in action. It just shot me in the jaw and knocked me out.)
Rocket Member 1 : Gah! That was most definitely a honeytrap, I can't believe we fell for it! Who lets a first stage national just randomly roam about the streets anyways. *Jumps on bed*
*Bonk*
Rocket Member 1 : Ow! Fuck! Are these pillows made out of steel or something!?
Rocket Member 2 : Ish a polish shtashion fockwad, nosh a rezshort. (It's a police station fuckwad, not a resort.)
Rocket Member 2 : *Gently lays on second bed*
- o - o -
Wow, what an adventure that was. I can't believe I wrote it…
I'm not removing it though. One of the main reasons why I shifted the story rating from Teen to Mature was so that I could write stuff like that.
Also…
I feel like I've been using swear words a bit too much so I will try to cut down on that. Less is more when it comes to them. They cut deeper when you use them sparingly instead of in every other sentence.
Author from the future : I failed at not using hard language… Miserably. Big surprise.
Enjoy the new chapter.
- o - o -
Groggily waking up I open my eyes. First the left one, then the right one. The transition from sleep to wakefulness is blurry and slow, such that I can't really pinpoint the exact second it happened.
Going by the amount of light in the room I deduce the sun has just barely begun to rise up above the horizon.
Stumbling around a little bit inside the bed I reach my hand for my phone to check the time. It's usually positioned in the nightstand and plugged up.
Just as I begin to reach I notice the short blue limb move into my vision.
Oh.
Yeah…
Instead. I check the wall-mounted clock positioned right in front of my vision.
Six twenty-something A.M. Fascinatingly, this is the very same clock that can be seen in Pokemon Emerald at the start of the game, the one where you're forced to set the time to progress the game - A white clock with a blue pokeball image in its center. I don't know why but that clock is burned into my mind for no apparent reason.
Still, it serves as evidence that the games are not to be ignored, you never know which part of them may turn out to be true. The anime too.
"Mhuhm."
I can feel Brendan shift in the bed as he absentmindedly moves his hand to pet me, how nice… However, that isn't the only thing I feel.
Why am I wet?
Hold on a second here.
…
"OH EEEEWWWW! What the hell man!"
Leaping off the bed I messily land on the floor, barely avoiding stumbling over myself in my haste. I arch my back much like an offended cat would as he lays his eyes on me.
"What happened?" At the question I begin to paw at the spot where he drooled on me.
Oh my god. It's… crusty. And slimy…eeeew. It's like an amalgamation of all three states of matter into a single unholy trinity of disgusting. Solid from dried off drool, liquid from regular drool… and gas.
*Gags*
God, Arceus, whatever. Why are onions still a thing in this world? Why?! I can still smell the salad we ate during yesterday's dinner, but it smells awful after getting dissolved in gastric acid and regurgitated back up
*Gags harder*
"Pheh… Hahahahahahahahaha." I don't know why but the annoying human finds my obvious signs of panic and distress 'funny'. So funny in fact that he feels the need to clutch his belly from all of the 'amusement' that I'm giving him.
A small pinpoint accuracy water gun right in between his nose and mouth shuts him up though. Small and accurate is key here. I, uhh, got grounded once - for flooding the second floor bedroom one time. It wasn't really fun.
*Cough * *Cough * *Cough* "Oh come on Bel!" *Cough*
"A little bit of saliva never really hurt anybody."
"Oh yeah? Then check this out." I reply, knowing full well that he can't understand the meaning of my words. He can understand their spirit though.
Hopping back onto the bed I get close to him, more precisely - closer to his face.
He leans back defensively, probably expecting me to blast him with another water gun. But he doesn't completely lean out of the way, having enough trust in me not to act like a bully.
While his actions temp me to do exactly that I suppress my violent urges - this once. Instead I just exhale normally.
Brendan's face contorts in disgust before he pinches his nose. "Yeah, that's really bad." His voice is nasally since he doesn't remove his fingers from his nose.
After quickly glancing at the clock he turns to me.
"Come on buddy, let's go get cleaned up." Picking up two towels and opening the door to the hallway we head to the bathroom.
Placing a large plastic wash basin under the shower, he fills it with lukewarm water. I jump in with a splash, the water is just deep enough for me to submerge myself when I lay down, that is if you don't count the fin on my head sticking out.
Brendan comes in a few seconds later with a sponge and scrubs me clean. My physical body may have been cleansed from that vile substance, but my soul. My Soul still remembers. Blegh.
He pushes the plastic basin away from the shower and undresses. I uhh… remain seated under the water, looking in the opposite direction for obvious reasons. If only he knew that I was a human once. That would be one funny reaction. While under the shower I hear him use the forbidden jutsu of washing himself while brushing his teeth. I was a frequent and avid user of that jutsu myself, he's well cultured.
The shower gets turned off, he dries and covers his private parts with a towel. I hear him picking one of my most hated objects in the house, and then he approaches the basin.
Now then…
"Come on then." He says.
*Slowly turns upside down like a dead fish*
"Heh. We even got you this nice flavoured toothpaste. Why do you have to be so dramatic?"
Danny, I don't know what they put into that piece of crap but that is most definitely not fruit. Why don't you try it yourself some time to see how abominably disgusting that substance is.
I feel hands picking me up.
"Come on. Do you want to smell like garlic all day?"
No matter where I go I just don't seem capable of escaping any dental procedures.
I look up to see Brendan's smiling face full of encouragement.
Fiiiine.
I reluctantly reveal my teeth, thinking to myself that I will snap that toothbrush in two one day.
- o - o -
The sounds of a crash spread all around me as I savagely butt heads with my opponent.
My attack is just a tiny bit weaker than his but I still manage to relatively easily push him back owing to the fact that I have four limbs that serve as a shock absorber instead of two.
He attempts to get a hold of himself but I press the attack by launching a couple of quick water guns his way to throw off his balance.
Except
I feel a sharp pang of pain shoot through me as I freeze up on the spot
Damn paralysis.
Why can't he go back to using just physical moves instead of this cheaty stuff man… You know, stuff Shroomish aren't exactly built for. Now I gotta deal with a literal mountain of crowd control and status effects on top of having a type disadvantage.
Luckily unlike in the games, where you need medicine or special moves and abilities to deal with status effects, I can just do this.
Riling up my aquatic aura I shift my position in such a way that my head points directly skywards. The anime has never done paralysis any justice when it comes to the sheer amount of pain it causes, just this slight change in position is a fight in and of itself.
A large amount of water gushes out of my maw and washes over me. It's a colossal waste of aquatic energy but one that is required for dealing with stun spores.
With the movement inhibiting spores gone I turn to rush Mog once again.
Except, the short few seconds it took me to rid myself of the crowd control move are more than enough for him to charge up another move that is the bane of my existence. He fires a bonafide laser beam from the hole on the top of his head. A Laser beam that hits me!
Noooooo! I'm getting sucked off! Again!
Why is absorb a literal laser beam! It makes no sense!
And what an absolute pain that move is, I have no effective way to combat it. It's the backbone of Mog's strategy. The move has several things about it that just mess me up.
First - it's more accurate and faster than my water guns on top of having a long range. The one single thing my water guns have above it is sheer firepower. However that doesn't mean a thing. If you were to compare their 'de facto' strength when we're facing off against each other they're about on par.
My water gun may be much more powerful, but its effectiveness is greatly cut when facing a grass type. On the other end, although absorb is a very weak move, its power is greatly increased when facing a water type.
Oh and there is one other tiny little problem
Absorb heals the user. Even if he misses a large portion of his abilities, he'll just outlast me.
So, if I try to face him in a long range fight I'm at a brutal disadvantage. I will lose ten times out of ten. The only reason I haven't lost yet is simply because Mog is not that good at aiming his ability… and that will change.
If I can't outgun him in long range, then let's face him head on with my body.
Nope. Point-blank range Stun Spore - a thing I really regret teaching him, cover your opponents in spores the moment he comes in contact it's impossible to dodge.
Not to mention that he's physically superior to me still. He's been doing physical training since day one while I've just started out.
And so here I am, exhausted and battered, getting drained. The last of my aquatic aura used on dealing with a debuff. I might as well have tried to soldier on instead of wasting my time.
"I Yield!" I shout out to the Shroomish.
The red energy enveloping me stops a second after.
"I'm just gonna… lay down on the ground for a while if you don't mind." I say that while heavily panting. Man getting absorbed is exhausting. The water I released has created a small patch of mud in the ground, that's a small comfort at least.
Mog slowly walks up to me.
"Wait. I…Won?" he asks. A hint of disbelief discernible from the tone of his voice.
I look up at him.
"Yes you did." I reply
"I really won."
"Yes, yes you did." I clarify.
"Wooo!" he leaps into the air. "Yes! Yes! Yes! I Won. Yes!" and then begins to jump around erratically in celebration. Shouting all the while.
Is this the first time that he's beaten me? He wouldn't be acting this way otherwise.
Huh. I guess it is. Though, that isn't really a good thing is it?
I track Mog with my eyes as he's doing his celebratory dance.
Have I actually been a terrible friend? I've known him and Lynn for over half a year now, and in all that time this is the first time that Mog has beaten me. That can't be good for their self esteem. Mog is fine, he's too headstrong. Lynn though… oh boy.
Yeah, he's probably depressed.
On top of having the crushingly heavy decision of what path he should take for his evolution hanging over his head he also has to deal with the feeling of being absolutely useless when it comes to combat. I should go and have a talk with him when the opportunity presents itself.
Speaking of Lynn, he somehow sends Mog packing several feet into the air when he approaches him.
"Get out of here man, you're gonna step on my work."
After impacting the ground Mog gets back up immediately.
"Hey Lynn! I won, did you see that? Did you see?"
"Do I look like I'm blind? Yes, I saw. Now go away, I've got stuff to do here." There's a significant amount of bite in his words. He gets really annoyed when someone interrupts him while drawing.
…
Maybe I won't need to have a talk with him, he seems to be doing just fine. If he's ever had a depressive episode I've missed it completely.
I've been helping both of them develop their abilities so you can't say that I've been a terrible friend, just tone deaf.
Would it be more of an insult if I intentionally lower my strength so that they can win? I don't know. Should I be helping them even? Isn't that the trainer's job? No… nobody minds when Rupho's giving advice so it should be fine.
Man, Rupho. You are missed, I got no good place where I can ask stupid questions about training now. I can't really ask Brendan or humans in general because of the 'language barrier' and Surge's Raichu is… not the most approachable pokemon in the school.
Maybe I can ask Lola? Or Celefio even. Louise did a whole damn world tour with Lola as her only pokemon so there's no way that she's weak.
"Haha! Yup, I won!" Ending with those words Mog dashes off into the distance and out of the school's forest.
"Off he goes."
"Mmm." Lynn continues to draw without even bothering to look up.
Several minutes pass, the only sounds I can hear are those of dirt being shifted by Lynn's paw and the distant sounds of pokemon playing… or fighting. It's kind of difficult to differentiate the two.
It's unbelievable how beautiful this place is honestly, it's a perfectly sculpted forest with each tree, bush and plant having their own unique little place in it. Here they add onto each other and resonate, painting a brillant picture when you add the sun's rays streaming from in between the leaves.
"So Bel, have you heard of the tournament?"
"Ah?" Lynn's sudden question catches me completely off guard.
"Tournament? What a tournament." I look at him quizzically.
"Tanya told me that there's a tournament in which we can participate at the end of each year, we get to fight those from the same grade as us. She seemed really excited about it." He explains, still not bothering to look up from his work.
"First time that I've heard about it. Sounds interesting."
I wonder how a tournament here will work, every kid has just a single pokemon accompanying him, meaning that there will be type disadvantages. You can't just have the classic tournament format - a single elimination. The parents of the children will call foul play like there's no tomorrow. Maybe a point system where those that have a type disadvantage win more points for winning and lose less for being defeated?
"You going to join in on the tournament?"
"I don't know… Tanya seems to be really indecisive about the whole thing." He shrugs. "If I'm being honest I think that we'll be participating. I may not act the part but I've actually been getting pretty strong recently." He looks up, finally, and grins at me.
"Aha… maybe we can go for a tumble tomorrow so you can show me."
I feel like I'm rotten on the inside responding with suspicion and provocation just a couple of minutes after my deliberations… but this feels like the natural thing to do.
"Pfft. Nope. I may be getting stronger but I'm not dealing with a cannon in Mudkip form." He glances at where Mog last was. "Unlike some others I don't possess an inborn resistance to water."
"Booooo!" Lynn doesn't respond and goes back to doing what he was doing.
… I think that I've rested enough. My strength has mostly returned back to me and I don't feel like a wet noodle anymore.
"Hup!"
With some effort I stand up on all fours.
"Well, I'm going off to my spot. See you in class Lynn." I turn around and begin walking to the pond with the split boulder near it."
"See ya."
- o - o -
"Unbeknownst to the cute little Mudfish pokemon, he was being shadowed, tracked by another cute little pokemon. Mudkip's distant evolutionary brother - The Water Fish pokemon. Now Now, calm down. You may be saying that it makes no sense, it's a fish of course it's involved with the water, why else would it be called fish? Can it even be considered a fish if it's not? To that I say, look up the scientific name, it's a real thing. Don't nag me, nag the scientists' naming sense."
A blue blur dashes in between trees, foliage and rocks, it moves so fast that unless you knew that it's moving through that exact spot at that exact moment, you would have missed it.
"And so, our little Water Fish, our Wooperus Supremicus Lifeformus continues on his quest. The only representative of the subspecies branching from the greater Wooperus family. You might say - that is not how evolution works, but Wooperus Supremicus Lifeformus doesn't care for such petty matters as science or facts and exists anyways. He thinks as he pleases, does as he pleases, for he is - Wooper. Nothing will change that aspect of - "
The Wooper cuts its mumbling to hastily hide behind a slightly taller boulder. He does so just in time too. If he'd been a fraction of a second slower the Mudkip would have seen him when turning around.
"Must have been the wind... I think I'm going koo-koo." Not noticing anything out of order the Mudfish pokemon continues down its path.
And The Water Fish pokemon slowly peeks out from behind the rock, the smile intrinsic to the species etched onto his face. Unperturbed, he silently follows the Mudkip.
"Wooperus Supremicus Lifeformus is a chaotic force, a force nobody can predict or hope to understand, not even the Wooper itself knows what it's doing most of the time. His heart sings and he does as the heart commands… and that is why this situation is so curious. As the Wooper has been stalking the Mudkip for the better part of two months now. It has been there… watching… silently. In the School, on the beach, in the forest, even on the second story window as the Mudkip and his trainer sleep. Avoiding the cops searching for him - to the point where they don't even bother responding to his handlers anymore. Hiding from his trainer - the kind person being the only one in existence that holds authority over his supremeness."
"Why is it doing this? What… Does it want?"
"Those are the questions we will find the answers for today folks! Today is the day spoken of in the prophecies. Two months of work have led to this."
The Mudkip goes to his favourite spot for meditation, it is easy to see since the grass there is shorter. Caused by many hours of sitting and laying. With the Mudkip beginning his 'water stuff' as it is referred to by the Wooper, the Wooper in question silently and leisurely waddles up to him, stopping when he is just a few inches behind him… and sitting on the grass.
So time passes.
One minute.
Two minutes.
Three.
…
Ten whole minutes pass with the Wooper quietly staring at the Mudkip's back! Their breathing synched so perfectly the mudfish doesn't hear a thing.
There is a development only in the eleventh minute!
"AAAAAH!" Startled by the smiling face, Bellum frantically backs off, clawing the grass in panic and screaming all the while.
Until he slides off the ground and into the pond.
"Woop! Hi! Are you alright?"
"Don't 'Hi' me you - " The Mudkip swims to the water's surface and immediately starts berating the Wooper. " - how did you get behind me, I didn't even hear you!"
"I walked here! Woop. Seemed like you were doing something important so just sat down to wait until you finished."
Bellum squints his eyes. "Really? How long have you been here"
"For a while?" He states.
"Oh yeah? And how long is 'a while' exactly?"
"Hmm…" The Wooper stops to think about the question.
"I don't know. A bit."
"And how long is 'a bit'?"
That stumps the Water Fish pokemon into silence, so much so that the smile leaves his face, replaced by a frown. You can almost see the ungreased gears in his head grinding against each other as they attempt to move.
The gear grinding doesn't last long however. Just a few seconds pass before he has an epiphany.
"Oh I know! A while!" The words are delivered with such confidence in happiness that it's difficult for one not to laugh at the situation. Especially when you take into account the beaming open smile that accompanies it.
"... And how much is a while?" he cautiously asks.
"A while is a bit! Duh~ why are you asking me the same question a second time, did you forget?"
The Mudkip lets out a big sigh from under the water. Bubbles can be seen escaping to the water's surface as he does so - the anger that was there previously is no more.
Swimming to the edge of the pond he steps on land and rids himself of the excess water sticking to his body doing a good shake.
"So, did you need me for anything?"
"Yea!"
"…"
The Mudkip raises an eyebrow at the silence that follows.
"What… did you need me for?" he asks with uncertainty.
"Oh, I don't remember!"
"Pft." Bellum doesn't even bother trying to hide his laugh as he doubles over and falls on the grass. "Sorry, sorry. Ahahah, I don't want to be mean but that's just… Hahahahaha!"
"I don't mind Woop. Laughing is fun, hehe" The Wooper observes the Mudkip slowly break out of his laughing fit and gain control of himself once more.
"Sorry again. Um, if you don't mind. Would it be a problem if I'm left alone? I'm trying to train here and having somebody watching me really breaks my concentration."
"Wait… oh! I remember why I came here now! Hey! Can you teach me Hydro Pump?"
"What?" Mudkip is obviously confused.
"No…? Please! Pretty please! I wanna learn how to do Hydro Pump. Can you Imagine how cool it would be if I could do Hydropump!"
"Wait, wait, wait! Hold on a second here I think there's been a misunderstanding. Calm down please." The Mudfish holds off Wooper's approach with one of his front paws. "Can you sit down please?"
"Okay!" Wooper unceremoniously sits, a thud can be heard as his backside impacts the grass. Bellum gives him an odd look but likewise lays down a couple of feet away.
"I think… that we should introduce ourselves first. I'm Bellum. A Mudkip. It's nice to meet you. You can call me Bel if you want."
"Okay~ I'm Woop Woop! It's nice to meet you too! You can call me Wu like everyone else does, not to be confused with my sister Wuwu."
"They called you… Woop Woop? Really."
"Yes! You like it, it's the best name given by the best trainer ever. She's the kindest and nicest and most beautiful person in the school."
Another sigh escapes the Mudkips lips.
"If I'm being completely honest it fits you down to a T."
"Right? Right? It's great!"
"Mhm." The Mudkip agrees. "Well, with introductions out of the way there's one thing that I should clarify. I don't know how to use Hydro Pump."
That made Wu lose his smile.
"You lie."
"No I'm not lying, I really don't know how to do it! What even gave you the idea that I can? My water guns may be much more powerful than normal but I still can't use Hydro pump."
Wu doesn't respond for a little while, trying to gather and make sense of the thoughts that are buzzing around in his head. "But I saw you use it, I'm certain that you did use it. Am I wrong?"
"I've used it? Are you sure that that was me using it? I have lots of siblings that are quite strong. I wouldn't be surprised if one of them learned how to do it."
The Wooper suddenly begins laughing.
"Woop knows that It's you without even a shadow of a doubt. Not your siblings. Heh Heh." He stands up and walks up to the spot where Mudkip usually trains "You were right here! Doing that silent pose of yours, I was lucky to be in the area to see you blast off into the sky. Just fly into the sky! Hah Hah Hah, there's no way that wasn't you. And you ended up on the school's roof when you landed didn't you? That was you right."
The Mudkip looks away, not liking being reminded of that traumatic event, by his standards. If he could blush he would
"Yes, that was me. That wasn't a hydro pump though. It was… something else entirely."
"But! I can use it to fly! Right?" He asks.
"Yes. I guess you can say that it can be used for flying."
"Perfect!" Wu beams as he jumps up to Bellum and hugs him. Awkwardly, since Wooper don't have hands. "Flyyy~ Fly in the skyyy~ … Hehe. Can you imagine how cool and epic it would be if at the very final moment, just as I'm about to get caught by the police I use a super-secret jumpy water move and BOOM, I'm gone! It's gonna be great! I can already picture the expressions on their faces."
"..."
- o - o -
Bellum PoV
As I observe him there, bouncing energetically in one spot and dreaming himself up an absurd scenario where he's chased by cops, I think to myself.
…What the hell is wrong with this guy? Did they drop him when he was still an egg? Why would they even go after this imbecile? He said 'they' right? Not 'him' or 'her' - it implies that there are multiple people going after him at once.
"Huh? What's up Bel? You're making a really funny face."
Oh. Oops. I let my emotions show on my face didn't I?
"Why would the police be after you if you don't mind me asking?"
"Oh!" He does a little twirl in place "That's because I run away from home~ My trainer's parents really don't like it when I do that so they call the authorities to bring me back!"
"Aha…" I reply
I don't know what I expected.
I sigh again…
What do I do with this guy? He obviously has some mental problems going on - I don't think it would be a good idea to teach him how to overcharge his core.
First, because I don't believe that he has the discipline and intelligence required to actually pull it off. For all I know, in his recklessness, he may end up rupturing the core and dying - if that's at all possible. I'm unaware if such things can even happen and I have no desire to find out.
Second. This guy? With that much power? My water gun has such strength that I can fight pokemon to which I have a type disadvantage on equal footing. Give that strength to this guy here. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Third, lazy, just don't want to do it.
How do I tell it to him though. How indeed…
I'll just be brutally direct about it, if I try to beat around the bush the meaning of my words will go right over his head.
"Hey, listen, Wu." I call out to him.
"Hm, yeah?" He stops to look at me eagerly.
"I won't be teaching you anything."
"Huh…?" He suddenly stops in place, stunned by what I have said.
"But Whyyyyyyyy!" Tears form on the edges of his eyes as he walks up to me, there's barely an inch between both of our faces.
"Because…" I move him back using my front paw. "...I barely met you, and teaching you how to do this will take literal months. Months. Time which I'd rather spend getting prepared for the tournament that's coming up at the end of the year. One which I intend to win." I say the first random excuse that comes to my mind, that being the tournament mentioned by my Eevee friend.
"So, yeah I can't teach you. I've got better stuff to do." He seems to be taking it…well? He's not throwing any tantrums so that's good. I thought that he'd have gotten angry or something when I denied him.
A neutral expression looks back at me.
"Oh, then you should have just said so~" they don't remain for more than a couple of seconds as his smile and cheerfulness quickly return.
Oh good.
"Yeah, so can you leave me alone no…"
"Let's trade!" He cuts me off mid sentence.
Ignoring his rude behavior I ask him to further clarify what he means. "Trade what?"
"Trade our methods of course~ You'll teach me how to fly and I'll teach you how to be physically strong!" He strikes a pose. "Look! Can you see? I am the strongest Wooper to have ever lived and I have the muscles to go along with it." He says as he 'flexes' whatever muscles he has on his body.
Uhhh…
What the Hell?
I didn't really notice before because of the mix of light and shadow caused by the trees above us blocking a portion of the sun's rays, but now that I take a closer look at him.
Muscle groups bulge from underneath his skin… He has what could be called 'abs' showing across his belly, his legs and tail are ripped to hell and back. I can see the veins covering his muscles showing.
It's all just so…
Comical.
Absurd…
Over the top.
Through the will of god my face doesn't even twitch. Even though I just want to break down right here, right now, and start laughing my little blue ass off.
This has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen in both of my life times.
Ah…. Now I remember. I've met him before haven't I? On my first day in this school. He was the first pokemon I talked to. Well, as much as you could talk to him I guess.
His muscles have gotten bigger that's for sure.
"Watch this." Ending his little posing session he turns around so I can see the back of his body, he observes me expectantly with his head and upper body twisted in my direction.
"I'm watching?"
"Woop!" He happily replies, smiling, before he faces where his body's pointing.
Two forms of energy suddenly begin coating his entire body in what appears like a thin fog. One red in color and one that's white. Both of the energies appear to clash with one another, the white one bouncing off of the red one incessantly and with increasing frequency.
Before I can even ask him what he's doing he just… disappears. Like he was never there.
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
What follows is a crash so loud and sudden that if you overlaid it over the video of a nuke going off it wouldn't sound like it's out of place.
When I focus my eyes on the origin of the crash my jaw literally drops down to the forest floor.
The Boulder, one of the halves of the bigger boulder I split in two.
It's gone.
All that remains from it appear to be hundreds of rocks and little pebbles scattered about. And a Wooper.
"Oy… Oy! Are you still alive?!" Noticing that he isn't moving a muscle I immediately rush over to check on him.
"Uuuugh… Why did I do that? Where am I?" I manage to pick up his voice as I approach.
You stupid. Yeah! Why did you nearly kill yourself? I bite onto his tail and drag him out of the rubble and next to the water, not really knowing what to do. My hope is that the aquatic aura would at least speed up the healing of injuries.
Just as I'm deliberating over whether I should call the school's on duty chancey to come help or not, he wakes up.
He begins scanning the surrounding area in obvious confusion, he does so for a while until he notices me in front of him and focuses on me.
"Ooooh. Right! So what do you think? Sounds good? You teach me how to fly and I teach you how to do that?"
Why is he acting like he didn't just kill himself? Isn't he hurt?
"Dude, do you need me to go grab the nurse? You basically smashed your soft body against a boulder."
"Nope, it isn't the first time I've done that. I haven't had any need to get healed before so why now? Anyways. C'mon, what's your answer?" He urges me to answer him, whether or not I'm going to teach him how to overcharge… In exchange for being taught whatever that is.
I'll be the first to admit, physical strength is really not my forte. I'm nowhere even near as good at that as I am at my aquatic manipulations. If I could do whatever he did it would be a huge boon to me.
But then again I have to deal with him.
What is probably the very embodiment of chaos and destruction - from my little bit of experience at least.
"Yeah, sure. We can trade."
"Yippee~" He jumps up in celebration, doing a backflip.
"You look like you're happy."
"Woop, of course I am! Come on! We must celebrate quickly, quickly!"
He urges me to follow him, something which I do. Ignoring my better judgement.
- o - o -
"It's the school's wall." I state matter of factly, describing what I see in front of me. The thing must be about twelve or fifteen feet tall, made of what appears to be the black stone the rest of the school's structures are built from.
"Yes!" Wu replies.
"And what's there to celebrate here? I don't see anything fun to do."
"We'll of course not silly~ We're not here for the wall, but what's over the wall. Come on!" There's that white and red mix of energy again, this time it coats only his comically muscled legs before he jumps over the wall.
I feel like this is a very bad idea as I jet myself over the wall using a hop and a strong water gun.
What I see once I land shocks me.
Dear lord.
"Uuuh, Wu? What is this?"
"It's my mushroom field."
"Yes… I can see that."
Everywhere I look, no matter the direction, there's mushrooms. Left? There's mushrooms on that bit of soil. Right? There are quite a bit of them growing on the side of the tree's trunk.
Up? Well…
"Why are there mushrooms growing on the tree's branches?" I ask.
"Ish ma mushroom feeld." He replies mid gulps as he chows down a couple of them.
"Come on, try them. I guarantee that you won't regret it, they're actually really tasty."
"..."
Eh, Why not.
I pick a couple with my mouth and eat them.
Vaguely tastes like bacon.
- o - o -
Aaaaah. Another beautiful day at Rustboro City's trainer school. Kids are learning. Pokemon are relaxing and playing. Some are competing, eager to make their trainers proud. Flocks of the Pidgey and Taillow line can be seen in the skies.
One can smell the pleasant aroma drifting from the school canteen where the cooks are hard at work.
It's just the perfect temperature too since it rained the previous day it's neither too hot nor too cold.
The grass is a vibrant and beautiful green color, contrasting nicely against the beautiful architecture of the school.
A blonde man's enraged screaming can be heard by any living being on the school's grounds.
A blonde man's enraged screaming can be heard by any living being on the school's grounds?
"ENRIQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
A blonde man's enraged screaming can be heard by any living being on the school's grounds!