School: Ilvermorny
Year: 1
Topics: Conciseness and Commas
W/C: 249 words (you have no idea how proud I am of that)
We're looking for something dumb to do
The stars twinkled overhead, dancing in time with the laughter of the couple running through the swishing grass. The pair climbed up a slow incline before stopping at the top, and the man nudged his partner to lie down.
"What are we doing?" Hermione asked, tucking herself into Draco's side.
"You told me that you couldn't see the stars in London, so I'm showing you them." Draco tightened his arm around her, her floral scent invading his senses, and looked up at the night sky.
"You can be sweet," Hermione said, nudging her elbow into his ribs with a grin.
"No need to sound quite so surprised," Draco muttered before they settled into silence, their combined heat keeping them cosy against the cool wind of the night.
"You know," Hermione said, breaking the quiet, "I had this idea that you were bringing me out here to propose."
"Do you think I'm that cliche?"
"Yes."
"Well then," Draco said, digging in his pocket and producing the small, velvet box that had been there for weeks, "you'd be right." He propped himself up on his elbow and held the box out, hovering over her chest.
When Hermione's eyes focused on the box, her breathing hitched before her eyes darted to Draco's face.
"No way."
"Yes."
"You're a dork."
"Also yes. But you love me."
"I do."
"What do you say? Want to marry me?"
A smile lit up Hermione's face as she let out an incredulous laugh.
"Yeah, I guess so."
Knowing when to use commas around coordinating conjunctions:
The pair climbed up a slow incline before stopping at the top, and the man nudged his partner to lie down.
Starting a sentence with a properly punctuated dependent clause:
When Hermione's eyes focused on the box, her breathing hitched before her eyes darted to Draco's face.
Including a properly punctuated appositive:
Draco tightened his arm around her, her floral scent invading his senses, and looked up at the night sky.