A silent world was a wish Xiao had desired many centuries ago. The wish came from many of his thoughts, culminating into a single desire when his mind slowly became consumed by the voices of the creatures he slew. A single desire borned, as he drowned in the despair created from the blood that tainted his hands.
Sound was one of the few things Xiao had a strange relationship with.
He disliked the cries of the people, the way they scream, the way they pray fervently for their wishes to be fulfilled and yet do nothing but wait for miracles to happen. Xiao disliked all of them.
He also disliked the words his mind spoke to him, words that chip through the armour he made to dig into the skin hidden beneath. They bite hard into him, drawing pain but no blood but they corrupt his mind all the same. They come when he thinks he could rest, they come when he thinks he is safe, and they come even when he tries so hard to be better. No matter how hard he tried, he could not silence those words.
How does one rest when the voices clamour in your sleep? How can one be safe if the voices scream otherwise? How does one fight against the sound that your own mind creates? Xiao did not need to sleep or rest, but not needing is different from not wanting.
(In some ways, Xiao knew that this was not supposed to be normal but this is his normal.)
And yet, there are some sounds that Xiao did not dislike.
He liked the soothing songs that the Anemo Archon, Barbatos, played. The songs were like a balm to the wounds inflicted from the voices in his mind that scream and cry for his suffering. He liked the sound of crickets chirping in the night, their presence signifying a peaceful calm where there were no evil shades to battle and no corrupted creatures to put down. Just himself, the empty lonely night, and his own demons to fight for company.
However, recently, Xiao had a new sound he liked.
The Traveller, Aether, was the strangest person Xiao had ever met, a truth that he easily came to based on his centuries of observation on the people of Liyue and those who walk through the lands.
(But he could count on one hand how many people he cared to remember and compare with the Traveller, so could his opinion still be counted as valid?)
At first, Xiao had disliked spending time with the strange outlander. Xiao always chose to leave without engaging in further pointless conversations. After all, what would be the point of taking part in anything that is but a passing moment in time? Why engage in such frivolity when there are monsters to slay?
(And who would willingly speak freely to a monster like him? Were it not for his duties to inform the adepti of their lord's passing, the Traveller would never have bothered to find him at all.)
Xiao had expected Aether to stop talking to him once the events of Osial's attack had been resolved. And yet, Aether betrayed his expectations, continuing to seek him out every few days whether for silent company or to chat away to the apathetic wind. The one time Xiao coldly ordered Aether to leave, to let him indulge in his desire for silence. Aether left him as he wished with a sad smile, but not before leaving a cold plate of almond tofu in his hands. The dish he loved tasted disgusting in his regrets for making the Traveller leave. It was the only time he could not finish the dish, unable to stomach eating it any longer.
Aether came back the next day, smiling brightly like the day before never happened and Xiao was content to play pretend with him.
(It was the last time Xiao sent Aether away with cold, harsh words.)
On his first birthday since he met the Traveller, Xiao spent the day doing surprisingly nothing. The voices were surprisingly quiet that day (never silent, Xiao could no longer remember a day when his mind was entirely silent). There were no shades of evil gods, no corrupted creatures, just peace and quiet. To the people of Liyue, it was a normal day for them, going about their lives without a care for what goes on beyond the boundary of their normal life. For Xiao, this was not his normal (and it never could be his normal).
He spent the rest of the day thinking of Aether and the one-sided conversations they had. Those times he spent, he did not dislike them. Rather, he found that he was starting to enjoy hearing Aether talk about his days in Liyue and Monstadt, the adventures he had with his partner, and the things he discovered along the way. And in those conversations, the voices in his mind would quiet down, allowing Xiao to give his attention to Aether.
(He found the pain lessening the more time he spent with Aether.)
On the second birthday since he met Aether, Xiao had a plan in mind. He spent his days in Guyun Stone Forest, walking down the beach as he took in the sound of waves crashing against the shores. There was nothing quiet about the beach and yet, the place brought a tranquil feeling to anyone taking a stroll down its sandy shores. As he continued to walk, he stumbled upon a Starconch basking under the bright open sun, its blue shell a stark contrast against the white sand. He remembered someone telling him before, on the same sandy shores, that a Starconch carried the voice of the people who speak into it, be it a simple message to a loved one or a wish to be carried out into the sea.
Today, I walked alone on the beaches of the Guyun Stone Forest and picked up several Starconches along the way.
Xiao picked the Starconch up, indulging in his desire to listen to the unspoken secrets the shell carries, to listen to the unheard messages or the lost wishes. But when he put his ear to the Starconch and listened, he heard nothing but silence.
(He had once desired silence, but it was no longer what he wanted.)
Perhaps the Starconch was silent simply because it carried no secrets, no messages, no wishes. Then all he needed to do was to fill the Starconch with his message and his wishes, and let it carry it until the next time someone puts an ear to it and listens. The someone, Xiao hoped, would be Aether. He was the only one Xiao trusted with his secrets, his voice, and his wishes.
(But it was not one secret, one message, or one wish that Xiao wanted to share with Aether.)
I heard that they contain secrets and can be used to send messages. But when I put them to my ear, I heard no voice, just the hollow sound of the wind.
No matter.
Xiao spent the next few hours collecting as many Starconches as he could find. With each one he found, he spoke into the shell, voicing his message to Aether and his wishes for him.
(He should stop doing this, there was no way a seashell could carry the voices of people and no way for anyone to hear the message carried by the seashell.)
The wrath of evil spirits, omens of calamity... and your voice. That's all I need to hear.
He cradled the blue seashells in his arms, embracing the fragile shells gently as he closed his eyes and listened to the crashing waves. He imagined Aether by his side, chatting away about finding treasure in a cave in the middle of nowhere. He imagined himself listening to Aether with a gentle smile, wanting to contribute to the conversation but not knowing what to say.
Aether had always been fine being the only one to talk and Xiao had always been content being the only one to listen. This time, Aether would be the one to listen and Xiao would be the one to talk, even if this one-sided conversation is through the Starconches that silently carry the voices spoken to them.
When you're free, come talk to me about what you've heard from the Starconches.
It was later in the evening when Aether dropped by Wangshu Inn with Paimon by his side and a Starconch in his hands. Paimon left Aether as the latter met Xiao at the balcony.
"The Starconches sing the sound of the waves, but I think I like your voice more," Aether said as he held the Starconch to his ears.
"You can't hear my voice in that," Xiao said, watching Aether smile at him.
"But I'm listening to your voice now, right?"
Xiao smiled at the friendly tease as he replied, "I suppose that you're right."