Chapter Two: Divine Wager
Everything had come together.
There had been one or two problems, one or two cut-off plot threads. But Naruto Uzumaki had achieved his destiny. He was Hokage, ruler of the world in all but name, and everyone was happy.
Kaguya looked down upon the Shinobi world in the high heavens and was bored.
So it was that a door opened, and an advocate walked in.
"You wished to speak with me, Mother," said Black Zetsu.
"Yes," said Kaguya. "We have successfully trapped everyone in the Infinite Tsukiyomi."
"Except Neji," said Black Zetsu.
"Granted, he did escape the illusion," said Kaguya, looking to where he was unconscious. "However, since he is presently trapped in an unbreakable sleep, I would call the effect the same."
"They are aware of his absence," said Zetsu. "He is a perpetual hole in their happy ending. Virtually no one who knew the man thinks of him as still alive."
"We're only keeping them in there while we devise the new world," said Kaguya. "Have you considered Naruto's legacy?"
"Not for an instant," said Black Zetsu. "I have never believed in him for even a moment. Ever. And I still do not."
Kaguya was surprised by this to her pleasure. Being surprised did not often happen to her. "Has he not brought world peace?"
"No," said Black Zetsu. "He was born into a role prepared for him. He did everything he was asked to do because it never occurred to him to do anything else. Everybody might have said one thing, but they all wanted him to do what he did.
"He was consistently rewarded for his actions with further respect and fame. The only reason anyone had any real faith in him was that he seemed like an underdog. However, he is nothing but a fake. He was royalty the whole time, and his initial bad starting conditions were no more than a handicap.
"If he had been training from the very start, he would have steamrolled everyone. No one could have possibly stood a chance against him if he'd really put his all into things. Instead, thousands upon thousands of people suffered and died as a result of his laziness.
"And he is rewarded for his utter failure.
"The spoiled dropout who put together his test at the last minute is given the scholarship. Meanwhile, studious orphan is left outside. A soldier fights his whole life for his country. Only to have his inheritance stolen and die alone while the robber is made king. A man promises to free a slave who helped him, then sells the slave for glue and forgets about him."
"But the bad things that happened were because people abused him. Because denied his existence," said Kaguya. "If they had simply chosen not to humiliate and hate two innocent children, it would have all been avoided.
"Jiraiya chose to do the bare minimum, Tsunade chose to abandon the world. Sarutobi did the best he could but was half-senile. Minato chose to kill himself for no reason.
"As a result, Naruto was not able to help them. And their children paid the price for what they had done. I could not shelter them any more than I could shelter Naruto.
"If you deliberately undermine your own messiah, you won't get the same results. They should be grateful you remained at all. We could have just as easily taken Naruto and Sasuke and left the Leaf to rot.
"The innocent people who died are the price they paid for their cruelty and malice. And what has come over you, Zetsu?
"I've never heard you angry before."
"Well," said Zetsu. "I feel they got off too easily.
"As you say, the people of that world did not earn this victory. And, if I may be honest, it is Naruto and Sasuke's fault."
"What do you mean by that?" asked Kaguya, concerned.
"I believe that Naruto and Sasuke's assistance had a detrimental effect on them," said Zetsu. "They believed their existence renders all they have strived for is irrelevant. Their entire is but a prelude to the adventures of someone who is the anthesis of their values.
"From their perspective, Ashura and Indra are youngest sons in a colorful cloak. One who has already been given special treatment for reasons they do not understand. Now he is parading himself in front of his older brothers. Then telling them, he will inherit while they labor in the fields. And if someone actually does come up with a winning strategy, God will save him.
"Only in this case, they can't throw him into a pit and sell him into slavery. He is so physically superior to them that he would laugh them off. He could do all the fields himself, but he doesn't because they need something to do.
"Do you see the problem? The entire rest of this universe is being treated as props for their story. Naruto and Sasuke are the only ones who matter."
"The next generation will be stronger," said Kaguya. "And that's not true. The others matter; they just don't matter as much. Do what you will; the original design for this universe was based around Ashura and Indra.
"And those who put a great of effort in did make a did.
"My servant Might Guy, or Tenten, or..."
"Neji and Lee," said Zetsu. "And what happened to them?"
"Guy is crippled," said Kaguya. "Neji is dead, at least in the dream. Tenten is alone, and so is Lee. But there were many casualties; that's one of the consequences of letting them go their own way.
"We have to accept the possibility that they will hurt themselves.
"And they're alright now. They're just asleep."
"Yes," said Zetsu. "And what incentive do they have to wake up.
"Examine those four who embodied the ideals of the ninja world. Not one of them ever achieved their dreams. Indeed, not one of them even came close.
"They had it far worse than everyone else despite doing all the right things."
"Sometimes bad things happen to good people," said Kaguya.
"Yes, but only bad things happened to them," said Zetsu. "What incentive does a person have to be a hero if doing so makes no difference. It results in ridicule and humiliation and leaves you crippled.
"Everything they were told was a lie. The people who abided by the rules were humiliated. The people who carved their own path were crushed underfoot. And the people who tried to be like Naruto were punished as inferior copies."
"Well, of course, it was a lie!" said Kaguya. "That's not how the world works. The superior control the inferior.
"It is blatantly obvious from a cursory observation of this world."
"Yes, but what other option for advancement did they have?" asked Zetsu. "They were taking the only path available to them. Team Guy is symptomatic of a larger problem that developed as a side-effect in the overall world.
"I believe that the 'hard work and teamwork' ideology is not a real theory. Rather, it is a subconscious rebellion against reality. Because of Indra's rebellion and other events, all of mankind is trying to evolve.
"They are attempting to become something they were never meant to be. But the urge is still there."
"Which explains their irrational hatred for Sasuke," said Kaguya.
"No, Mother," said Black Zetsu suddenly. "He's just a prick.
"He condescends and insults everyone he meets. And he betrays everyone he works with for a good reason. Then he gets every team slaughtered. And then he walks around; he owns the place and is entitled to it all.
"I've been suppressing the urge to murder himself for years."
Kaguya blinked. "You are not describing Sasuke; you are describing a caricature of Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha is a tragic figure who was motivated by familial piety. Admittedly he later went a bit far, but everyone he killed either deserved it or gave him no choice.
"I made sure that he wasn't able to do any real damage. While ordinarily, I would give him a choice, he was too powerful to remain unchecked."
"It's how he presents himself that is the problem," said Zetsu. "Naruto convinces other people to support him for their own best interests. It is usually irrational, and sometimes it pays off, but he is, at minimum, a nice guy.
"Sasuke, on the other hand, demands what Naruto asks for and won't take no for an answer. You are his property. Whether or not it is technically true is irrelevant; his presentation is terrible. And his treatment of his toys is despicable, going out of his way to breaking every single one."
"You are now describing an imaginary demon with no basis on reality," said Kaguya.
"Perhaps," said Black Zetsu.
"And I had to help him do it.
"Deidara died because Sasuke didn't acknowledge as a worthy opponent. This even after Deidara gave him the fight of his life. He was never nearer death than in that battle."
"Deidara was only alive because Sasuke was trying to spare him, and he was a psychopathic maniac. And this is all theory," said Kaguya. "And not presently relevant to our plans.
"Perhaps you should go back to your original line of thinking."
Zetsu sighed. "The model for a perfect citizen was Iruka Umino and Ino. Present, but not important for males, and sexy but not in the way. There might be peace, but it is only because everyone has given up on their dreams. They have embraced mediocrity and hedonism.
"This will not suffice for the purpose you have in mind for the next world. You see, not everyone can Iruka Umino. Not everyone can be Ino. Different people have different specialties. And if any of those specialties overlap with Naruto and Sasuke, they are meaningless.
"What purpose was there for Tenten to train all-time in kunai when Naruto can throw Rasenshuriken? There is none.
"At the ending power levels, one of Naruto's shadow clones could defeat the entire world. Meanwhile, Naruto and Sasuke could play cards to one side and not even look up."
"But they only achieved that level of power because the rest of the world pushed them toward it," said Kaguya. "So it is their achievement."
"But how do you continue from that?" asked Black Zetsu. "All of the illusions we have them under inexplicably downgrade those two. So long as they exist in that form, all warriors are irrelevant. And since Naruto has shadow clones, everyone is irrelevant.
"He could create a legion of himself and learn every single skill in existence.
"Even if he chooses not to, everyone knows it. The world have gone from a vast, complex society of warrior poets to stupid servants. They sit at the door, waiting for their master to give them some errand, knowing well it is unimportant.
"And to add insult to injury, Madara still won."
"No he did not," said Kaguya.
"Yes, he did," said Zetsu. "There was no possible way they could have beaten him. He had them dead to rights, and you know it.
"Naruto and Sasuke failed. At every point, they were utterly outmaneuvered, and in the end, it was me who won. Not them. I did my job; they did not do theirs."
"Eucatastrophe is an ancient and wonderful concept as old as this world," said Kaguya. "Have I not taught you that?"
"But it was not eucatastrophe," said Black Zetsu. "Had a bolt of lightning shot out of the sky and killed Madara, and Sasuke and Naruto saw the revelation of God. That might qualify, after a fashion.
"With the idea being that even if things are at their bleakest and you fail, there is someone looking out for you. This could have been a legitimate contribution to their arcs.
"As things stand, your actions were more akin to Mizuki suggesting Iruka give Naruto a free pass. Only Iruka does, and Naruto graduates and doesn't learn anything."
"He was supposed to do that," said Kaguya.
"Yes," said Zetsu. "And the fact that Iruka failed him anyway is the principal reason Naruto became accepted. Naruto adjusted his belief systems in response to not getting what he wanted. Iruka then became one of the most important people in Naruto's life. He is then providing consistent moral support.
"I actually liked him. I felt he could have been used for more.
"In any case, the real problem is that nobody got to achieve their dreams. And so long as Naruto and Sasuke remain in this state, nobody ever will."
"What do you want?" asked Kaguya.
"I want a redo," said Zetsu. "I believe that your story failed because Naruto and Sasuke were sheltered. Yes, they had immensely stressful lives, but they were akin to a cartoon. A real person who experienced the things that Naruto and Sasuke did at their age would be a broken, empty shell.
"They would be incapable of functioning at all, let alone saving the world. Their unique psychology gave them an unfair advantage."
"Why do you want a redo?" asked Kaguya. "I thought you hated that world."
"I hated it because the ideologies were completely contrary to the results," said Zetsu. "The entire fiasco was nothing more than the buildup to payoff that never happened."
"Because they weren't supposed to make those ideologies!" said Kaguya flatly. "They were always created to be a support for them."
"Yes," said Zetsu. "But they didn't want to be a support for them. In fact, many of them wanted to kill Sasuke. And from their own angle, they had a justified grievance and had no way to know the consequences of victory.
"They came to realize that they were effectively minor characters in their own story. They obsessed over the idea of a self-made man because they had no birthright."
"What do you mean?" asked Kaguya. "I gave them purpose and life."
"And what else did you give them?" asked Zetsu. "Who are they supposed to be when Naruto and Sasuke walk offscreen?"
"This is teenaged rebellion, and you know it," said Kaguya.
"Of course it is," said Zetsu. "But the grievance stems from your hands-off policy.
"And from a lack of discipline.
"Think of the simulation on the analogy of Naruto's test under Iruka.
"They failed. They were not able to perform the work they were assigned because they did not do their homework. They failed to abolish slavery, which they were supposed to do. They failed to acknowledge the atrocities of Danzo. All in favor of letting the problem resolve itself. They failed to grapple with the horrors of the world they lived in. They did not fix their problems; they killed and rejected the people who fixed them for them.
"Even at the last throw, they resolve the core dispute between Ashura and Indra. They just sort of passed off on the idea that everything was fine and all should have a good time—this over the corpses of tens of thousands of innocent people.
"I don't think much of their report card. And when I say 'theirs,' I mean the entire population, including Naruto and Sasuke. Granted, Naruto and Sasuke did the best they knew, and so did many others. But you cannot tell me that if everyone in that world had done their best, they wouldn't have beaten Madara.
"Everything that possibly could have gone wrong did because they botched the job. They used Ashura and Indra as a crutch to fix their problems, even as they attacked them in jealousy. I could argue that they should not be expected to do so.
"But many of the factors that prevented Naruto and Sasuke from winning were created by them. How is it fair that your sons should have to clean up the mess these petulant brats created?"
"You may be right," said Kaguya. "What exactly do you have in mind?"
"It is simple," said Black Zetsu. "Take away everything that makes Naruto and Sasuke special. Don't give them any kind of special treatment beyond what is necessary to get them started. If they make mistakes and screw up, don't save them. Or at least, don't save unless you would save someone else.
"Naruto Uzumaki has invoked the principles of hard work. Let him be judged by those principles rather than standing above them."
"But if we do that," said Kaguya. "Naruto will fail out in the first year!"
"Not necessarily," said Zetsu. "If Naruto Uzumaki is not facing irrational hatred, he will have stellar scores. Remember that Ashura and Indra effectively wanted this.
"They knew on some level that their extreme power was a problem. The world was using them, and so they refused to cooperate. They wanted the world to do it on their own for a bit. And the world proceeded to ruin their lives.
"Perhaps Naruto and Sasuke were intended to be nobody special."
"Why don't you have any faith in Naruto?" asked Kaguya.
"Because I find him insufferable and ridiculous. I dislike Sasuke a great deal," said Black Zetsu. "I remain your loyal son, but my own flawed opinions have found both lacking.
"And I think the idiots who have been hero-worshipping them are half the problem.
"It will be good for both if they simply get cut off altogether for a bit. Being 'normal' will force some necessary perspective. Perhaps for both parties."
"Well," said Kaguya. "That is a major change.
"I am going to keep history largely the same up until the birth of Naruto. From there, I intend to do as you suggest. I will be making alterations, of course, to clear things up."
"You need agents," said Zetsu. "And you need to take a more direct hand. Naruto and Sasuke are not experienced at long-term strategy. They usually only focus on the immediate problems at hand.
"I think it may be a blind spot for them.
"You must have some sort of agent who can directly enact your will. Hopefully, two agents."
"And who do you have in mind?" asked Kaguya.
"I don't know," said Black Zetsu. "Do we know a pair of highly talented ninjas with close proximity to Naruto and Sasuke? A pair who have literally nothing to lose and everything to gain by assistance? A pair who have had nothing but bad things happen to them because of Naruto and Sasuke?"
"...Sakura and Kakashi?" asked Kaguya.
Black Zetsu laughed uproariously. "Sick burn, but no, Tenten and Neji."
"But Neji tried to kill his Master," said Kaguya. "Slaves must submit to their masters."
"He is not legally a slave," said Black Zetsu. "He has a right to refuse orders if he is stupid enough to use it."
"I fail to see the difference," said Kaguya.
"The difference is that the Hyuga Clan get all the benefits of keeping him as a slave. Without any of the drawbacks," said Black Zetsu. "If Neji were a slave, he could not get a paycheck which they could not be confiscated.
"Besides, you are an all-powerful Goddess.
"Technically speaking, he is your property. So you can say that his punishment is to act as your priest or servant. Or bodyguard or whatever another purpose you want. There wouldn't be much point in having an omniscient morality license if it didn't have to be used."
"And about Sasuke and Naruto's powers?" asked Kaguya. "We cannot simply leave them in place."
"Keep them in reserve and distribute them to people who please you," said Zetsu. "It is your power by right, after all. Weaken those who behave in a way that displeases you if you so desire.
"Actually, I would give a portion of it to the women who have been held back by you; they drastically need the power boost."
"I am not supporting using women as soldiers," said Kaguya. "And I don't care if it's their choice. It's wrong and barbaric.
"And unnatural."
"With all due respect, Mother," said Black Zetsu. "With the parameters, you have set, it is already too late. Ino managed to beat the system and be effective even in the original timeline.
"Konan almost killed Obito.
"It is clear that your children have decided that they want women to fight. Whatever their reasons are, I do not believe it fair to not give them a fair shot."
"What right do I have to do this to Naruto and Sasuke?" asked Kaguya.
"You have every right," said Zetsu. "You are their creator and the sole source of their beings. By your standards and the society they dwell in, they exist to serve you. Neji over there could be anything you want him to be.
"Your word alone defines his existence, just it defines mine, and the worlds and every creature it in. You determine good and evil.
"If you decide that the purpose of reality is for Hinata to have a lesbian threesome with Tenten and you, it shall be so."
"Homosexuality is wrong," said Kaguya.
"Of course, it is wrong," said Zetsu. "But it is only wrong because you deem it so. You are the arbiter of good and evil, the moral lawgiver.
"Without you, nothing has any meaning and nothings. So if you say something is right or wrong, that is the case. At least on a cosmic scale, there appears to be some margin for error in the physical plane."
"Very well," said Kaguya. "But I'm not going to give Sakura any more powers.
"She didn't use any of the ones she got in the old timeline for anything. And I allowed her several opportunities after the fight with Sasori."
"Of course," said Zetsu.
Kaguya nodded. "Then let us begin again.
"And see where this path leads."