Dissimulation
Chapter 13: Reconciliation
The Fahrenheit hummed as it began its decent to the familiar island. Tidus stared through the window down below. He felt the butterflies instantly begin to swarm swiftly in his stomach. Desperately, he wanted more than anything to receive Wakka and Lulu's forgiveness. He understood their anger towards him. Tidus ultimately destroyed their trust and went against everything they were taught and believed in.
Tidus understood that even though Yevon turned out to be complete bogus, Yevon has been Spira's way of life for a thousand years. Spirans lived, breathed, worshipped Yevon's teachings. They did not know any other way. Tidus knew Wakka struggled deeply once they learned the truth of the corruption behind Yevon and its teachings and Tidus and Yuna both stomped on his beliefs even more by breaking one of Spira's biggest taboos.
The outline of Besaid creeped closer and closer and closer. Tidus felt his chest tighten as the airship begin to slow and make its landing. Sensing Tidus's nervousness, Yuna grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. Tidus looked down and passed her a weak smile. "Let's go," she whispered. Tidus nodded and the two walked hand in hand towards the ramp.
The ramp began to creak loudly as it began to make its descent to the outside the world. The salty, familiar air of the ocean hit Tidus's nostrils. Tidus and Yuna began to walk down the ramp, the bright sunshine blinding them for a moment.
The beach of Besaid was empty and a silence enveloped Tidus and Yuna as they walked towards the path to the village. It was very peaceful. "The calm before the storm," Tidus chuckled to himself.
Tidus and Yuna walked in silence down the familiar path, deep in their own thoughts. Tidus remembered the first time making the same journey with Wakka. Wakka had taken Tidus under his wing. Tidus was the crazy madman that was ranting and raving that he was the star player of the Zanarkand Abes, yet Wakka seemed unfazed. Granted, Tidus knew it was because he wanted Tidus on his team, but Wakka was one of Tidus's first true friends after he appeared in Spira.
They reached the village and immediately swarmed by the villagers. Tidus felt himself getting pushed away as everyone rushed to see Yuna. Tidus watched as the villagers all expressed their gratitude towards Yuna. Yuna looked so happy and the villagers looked so happy. Tidus hoped that they would continue to stay this happy after Yuna announced her pregnancy.
"A lot of nerve for you to show back up here, ya?" a familiar voice said suddenly. Tidus turned to find a beaten up Wakka limping up to Tidus. Lulu was a distance away, her arms folded and big scowl on her face.
"Hey," Tidus said awkwardly. They stood in silence for a minute, but then Wakka completely surprised Tidus. Wakka pulled Tidus into a tight hug. Tidus tensed up for a moment in shock.
"I am sorry, ya. I was being completely unreasonable and should not have attacked you like I did," Wakka whispered.
Tidus pulled away and shook his head, "You had every reason to be mad at me. I broke your trust."
Wakka pulled away from the hug and let out a big sigh, "Yes, but I also know how much she loves you." His eyes darted toward Yuna, "She was a mess after you… disappeared."
"She was?" Tidus asked, a little bit surprised, to be honest. He knew that Yuna missed him, but he did not think Yuna would outwardly show her emotions. Yuna has and always had been a public figure. She always kept a strong front around her, no matter what anguish that she may be experiencing or feeling. Something, to this day, Tidus never knew how she could do and admired her for. Tidus felt the guilt begin to sink in. Yuna should have been celebrating the final extinction of Sin, not mourning for his disappearance.
"And honestly, I wasn't angry about the pregnancy," Wakka explained. "I was angry that you disappeared on her, ya," Wakka continued, as if reading Tidus's thoughts.
"I am sorry, the fayth…" Tidus began to say.
"I know brother, don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault," Wakka said with a smile.
"Yeah…" Tidus said sadly.
"What matters now is that you are back, ya?" Wakka said, lightly punching Tidus on his shoulder.
"I seriously hurt you though," Tidus said sadly. "I could have killed you."
"I was acting like a thug though, ya? I deserved it," Wakka chuckled. "I don't blame you at all."
Tidus smiled weakly at Wakka, "Still, I am still sorry man. You were the first person to believe who I was and where I came from. I shouldn't have hurt you like I did."
"You are right, I was a little bit excessive. Didn't know how much this Wakka meant to you and for that I apologize," Shuyin said suddenly.
"So, you do know how to say sorry," Tidus quipped back at the voice.
"Sometimes," Shuyin chuckled.
"Well, we should put it behind us now. We have way more important things to worry about," Wakka said, poking Tidus lightly in the chest. "After all, we have a baby to prepare for," Wakka continued with a low whisper.
"Yeah," Tidus chuckled nervously. The idea that he was going to be a father still had not hit him fully yet.
"I am so happy for you two," Wakka said. "And thank you,"
Tidus felt his eyes widen with shock, "Thank you? Didn't I just break a huge taboo?"
"Yes, there is that, but you also gave something to Yuna that she never thought she would have, life and love" Wakka said thoughtfully.
"I did?" Tidus asked.
"Yes, you did. Before Yuna met you, she had only one goal in life, and that was to defeat Sin. She was prepared to give her life for Spira, even though, as we found out, it would have been for nothing." Wakka explained. "But then she met you, fell in love, and found a way to destroy Sin, and she is still alive. Better yet, she is alive, in love, and has a baby on the way," Wakka continued.
"Yet, I could be dangerous," Tidus said to himself.
"I promise you, Yuna is safe," Shuyin insisted.
"Our baby?" Tidus asked.
"Safe," Shuyin said.
"And Spira? Would it matter if we were safe if Spira is in danger?" Tidus asked.
"Trust me, there are far worse dangers than me," Shuyin warned.
"I would trust you more if you would just tell me what these so-called dangers are," Tidus said.
"I wish I could just tell you, but I can't. Find my spheres and you will know," Shuyin said.
"Why can't you tell me?" Tidus asked.
"You will know once you find out the truth," Shuyin told Tidus.
"Yeah, but the rest of the world isn't going to see it that way," Tidus muttered.
"Who says?" Wakka asked. "Sin has been defeated, Yevon has crumbled. Spira's world has been turned upside down," Wakka continued. "The only constant, the only light is Yuna."
"So they would forgive her, but what about me?" Tidus asked.
Wakka crossed his arms and paused a minute to think, "They may not be as receptive to you at first, but I think in time, they will come around."
"Thanks," Tidus grumbled. He shifted his gaze back at Yuna. The largest smile was plastered on her face as the crowd swarmed around her. Tidus sensed he would not get the same celebration. As if sensing Tidus's discomfort, Yuna looked over to Tidus and excused herself from the crowd and walked over.
"Join me," Yuna smiled while holding out her hand. Tidus smiled and shyly took her hand. They walked back into the crowd.
"Now everyone, I want you all to meet the reason why I am still here celebrating with you all," she announced. Yuna wrapped her arms around Tidus's waist in a tight side hug. The crowd all cheered and started buzzing with questions.
"Were you the one that figured out how to defeat Sin?" one crowd member asked.
"That was a joint effort, but I wasn't going to let her take the final summoning and sacrifice herself, is what she meant," Tidus chuckled shyly.
"Because you two fell madly in love?!" Another girl shouted.
"She gave me purpose," Tidus smiled. "Before I met Yuna, I drowned myself in the sport of Blitzball. When I became the star player of the Zanarkand Abes, I did not do it for any reason but to prove my father wrong. As a child, he constantly was putting me down and making me feel like I wasn't worth anything. Then he just disappeared and that destroyed my mother. I hated him and wanted nothing more to prove him wrong. I wanted to beat him in his own game, so I worked hard and became the star player of the Zanarkand Abes. I had nothing otherwise. Then I was taken here and found there is more to life than just Blitzball. I believed in Yuna. I would never have lived with myself if I let Yuna sacrifice herself and for what? I had to save her."
"And we are glad you did!" a voice exclaimed from the crowd.
"Me too," Tidus whispered.
"May I add to that?" Yuna asked.
"Of course!" the crowd yelled.
"Before I met Tidus, I had only one purpose, sacrifice my life to defeat Sin, just like my father before me. After my father defeated Sin, I became an orphan. It was hard but seeing how happy the world was and how peaceful everything was, made me so proud of my father and at peace with his passing. I wanted to do the same thing." Yuna said. She let out a big sigh and continued, "I trained hard to become a summoner, there was nothing more than I wanted in the world. I dove so deep into the teachings, the teachings consumed me. I never thought about life after Sin. I distanced myself from everyone, even my own guardians. I felt like I couldn't get close with anyone, because I didn't want to bring them pain when I made my sacrifice. That was until I met him." Yuna looked at Tidus and gave him a big smile.
"Tidus managed to break through that wall I built around myself. He made me feel. He made me begin to look at life beyond my pilgrimage and my final summoning. I started thinking about a life that I never imagined before. Friendships, love, marriage, a family," Yuna continued. "The thought scared me at first and I tried to fight it, but he continued to show me that there was more to life than what I always thought was purpose in life."
"After I married Seymour and discovered his plan and who he truly was, my eyes also opened to the rest of the corruption of Yevon. The summoner sacrificed their life with the promise to finally bring the Eternal Calm only if the people finally repented for their sin. Sin would never be defeated this way. Yevon knew this, but they continued this narrative to give us hope." Yuna continued.
Yuna stopped for a moment and placed her hand on her chest and took a deep breath to choke back her tears before continuing, "I saw through this immediately. How many summoners have lost their lives trying to defeat Sin? Five summoners before me gave their life with the Final Summoning, hoping to bring the Eternal Calm, my father one of those summoners."
"A real slap in the face was when I found out Maester was an unsent. His explanation, Spira surrounded and runs on death. It is all around us, there is no avoiding it," Yuna said.
"After learning this, I lost direction. I didn't know what to do. I could quit, but where would I go from there? I didn't know any different. I didn't know a different life other than the sacrifice that I was determined to make, to maybe bring the Eternal Calm," she continued.
"After banishment and escaping Bevelle, we ended up hiding in Macalania for a short time. We needed to regroup and come up with a plan. I was completely lost. I wanted to defeat Sin, but I knew that my sacrifice would basically mean nothing. A ten year calm, if lucky. However, Sin would return. I didn't know how at that point, more on that later. However, yes, he would inevitably return and how long until a summoner to get to the final summoning?" Yuna explained.
"I was lost, I didn't know what to do. That was when Tidus approached me. I admit, I was already falling for him at that point. He was from a different world, completely naïve to what was at the end of the summoner's journey. He kept pushing me through the difficult pilgrimage with laughter. He taught me to laugh and smile," Yuna continued, she looked over to Tidus and grabbed his hand.
"When he found out about my sacrifice, he was determined to figure out how to stop me from reaching the final summoning. He found me floating in a spring, completely lost," Yuna continued. She nudged Tidus to speak further.
Tidus took a deep breath, obviously nervous, "When I found out that she would sacrifice her life in the final summoning, I completely lost it. I never would have admitted to it, but I was completely in love with her by this point. Yuna was soft spoken, but the strength and determination behind her was so attractive to me. She had direction, when I did not. Like I mentioned before, the only life I knew before I came to Spira, was blitzball and revenge against my father."
"Once I learned her future with the final summoning, I was angry. This beautiful woman was going through all this, just to die. It became my mission to save her," Tidus continued.
"Then we learned the truth about Yevon and the truth about Sin. I saw how lost and broken she was. I admit, I also saw this as an opportunity to get Yuna to stop her pilgrimage. Selfish, I know," Tidus chuckled nervously.
.
"There she was, floating in a spring, glowing in the moonlight. She looked so beautiful. I approached her," Tidus continued.
Yuna squeezed Tidus's hand and continued the speech, "I was lost. I didn't know what direction I was headed. Should I continue or should I just quit? I had a lot going through my head, but floating in that spring, at least for a short moment, I was actually at peace."
"I didn't know what I would do with myself if I quit my pilgrimage, but Tidus promised to take me to his Zanarkand. See a blitzball match and then explore the city all night. He described the city at sunrise. It sounded so amazing and I wanted to go, I wanted to go so badly, but my heart knew that I just couldn't," Yuna continued sadly.
"All these things that I wish I could experience, but knew I could never do. I just started sobbing," Yuna said.
Tidus smiled, "As much as I wanted her to end her pilgrimage and for her to come with me, at that moment, I also knew that she couldn't stop. Watching her sadness was just so heartbreaking to me, but her resolve, I was just lost in it all. I called out her name, she looked into my eyes and I couldn't help myself and I kissed her."
A bright smile fell onto Yuna's face, recollecting the moment, "At that point, that was the best moment I have ever experienced. It was also a moment that I never would have thought I would experience. I never allowed myself to get close to someone like that, because I knew I would sacrifice myself one day."
"Yet, here I was, sharing a moment with this man," Yuna continued. "However, I had made up my mind, I would continue my pilgrimage."
"Which I respected. I knew that she had to and I wasn't going to stop her. I couldn't stop her," Tidus said.
"As we continued though, I couldn't help but want more. I wanted to experience love, I wanted to show Tidus how much I loved him," Yuna explained.
"When the topic came up, I was shocked, I admit. I never thought that she thought like that," Tidus chuckled.
"I kind of blew up at him at that point, I admit. I think I scared him with my forwardness. I told him that I have feelings and thoughts. I normally kept them to myself, because I never thought I would ever have these experiences. I also wanted to let him know that I loved him," Yuna explained.
"Which is something that I desperately wanted to tell her too, but I couldn't get myself to say it. I was so afraid she didn't feel the same way," Tidus added.
"The words just came out and it all became a blur and well, it just happened," Yuna continued nervously.
"I'm sorry," Yuna apologized. "But I don't regret it. I don't regret it at all. At the time, my life was ending in just a few short days, I didn't want it to end without experiencing it."
Tidus looked out into the crowd. Everyone stared in shock and disbelief, nobody said anything. "After that moment, I was determined to find a way to save her. I wanted to be with her, I never felt this way about anyone."
"We got to the final summoning and learned the truth. I would have to choose one of my guardians to become the final summoning, which would Yu Yevon's shell of Sin, but he would combine with the guardian I would choose to create a new Sin," Yuna continued. "I couldn't continue that way, I needed to find a new way."
"Shortly after we defeated Yunalesca and sent her to the farplane, I started feeling strange. I was feeling more tired, and I would have random bouts of nausea," Yuna continued. "I thought it was just stress at first, but then I realized I was late."
The crowd gasped, "Yes, I discovered I was pregnant," Yuna admitted. "I didn't tell anyone, not my guardians, not even him. It would only distract us, we needed to focus on defeating Sin. I was ready to tell everyone once Sin was defeated."
"Then right before we faced Yu Yevon, he told us that he wasn't real. He was a dream of the fayth and once we defeated Sin, he would disappear," Yuna said.
"When we did defeat Sin, as I did my final sending, he started to fade away. At first I felt so alone, but then I remembered I wasn't alone. I was carrying a piece of him with me. He gave me an opportunity that I never thought I would experience, motherhood," Yuna continued.
"And to you all, I am sorry. I know I broke the biggest taboo of all," Yuna apologized. "But I want you all to know that I do not regret my decision. I love this man with all my heart and even though we are not married, I pledge my life and heart to him for the rest of my life," Yuna continued, tears starting to well up in her eyes.
"I love you too," was all Tidus could say, and he pulled Yuna into a deep kiss, ending their speech.
The crowd did something that nobody ever thought they would do. They erupted in cheers. They began to run up to the two, all giving them their congratulations and happiness. To Tidus's relief the crowd seemed very accepting of the news. Tidus placed a protective arm around Yuna's waist as questions after questions came zipping their way.
"When are you two getting married?" one person asked.
"When are you due?" another asked.
"Do you have names picked out yet?"
The questions went on and on. The only person that still didn't seem to share the same excitement was Lulu. She stood outside Wakka's tent, her arms crossed in front of her chest and a scowl on her face. Tidus finally was able to sneak away and walked over to Lulu.
"Lulu, I really am sorry," Tidus said.
"You almost killed Wakka," Lulu hissed.
"I know, I really don't know what came over me and I am sorry," Tidus apologized.
"You broke our trust," Lulu growled.
"I know and I am sorry," Tidus responded.
Lulu's scowl faded, "But I can tell how much she loves you."
"I love her too," Tidus said.
"You do that to her and then you just disappear. Do you not know how broken she was?!" Lulu asked angrily.
"Did I really have a choice? I was a dream of the Fayth and as Yuna sent the fayth, poof I went," Tidus said.
"But you are here and you have a child on the way? How is that possible?" Lulu asked.
"I don't know and I intend on finding out." Tidus said.
"Tidus, when you attacked Wakka, you turned into an animal. What if that happens again and you do something to hurt Yuna?" Lulu asked.
Tidus felt his shoulders slump, "I know and I really am sorry."
"What is going on with you, you were different?" Lulu asked.
"I wish I could tell you," Tidus thought to himself. "I don't know, a lot has happened. We defeated Sin, I disappeared, I was trapped in darkness, I came back, I got beat up, I almost killed Wakka, I found out Yuna was pregnant, the list goes on" Tidus explained.
"How can I trust you?" Lulu asked.
"You can't" Tidus answered to himself.
"How many times do I have to tell you, I am not dangerous," the voice said in Tidus's head.
"I don't really trust myself either. That is why I need to figure out what happened." Tidus said instead. "None of this makes sense. I was never real, but here I am and Yuna is pregnant with my child. I will promise you though, I will never, ever hurt Yuna," Tidus said instead.
"Well, I guess I need to stay close," Lulu said sadly. "To protect her," she added.
"Please do," Tidus muttered. He looked over to Yuna. Her pregnancy glow was finally able to come out and the people were just basking in it. "I could never bear to hurt her."
"And if you do, I will kill you," Lulu warned.
Tidus looked at Lulu sadly, "Please do."