Personal Habits

A Blue Period oneshot

by mew-tsubaki

Note: The Blue Period characters belong to Yamaguchi Tsubasa-sensei, not to me. Just when I thought I couldn't get sucked in further…the art boys come calling. :O Read, review, and enjoy!

- ^-^3

Most days, Yotasuke doesn't give much thought to attending Geidai or to having a social circle, so long as he can make art. Somedays, though, he pauses in the middle of a sketch or underpainting and muses that he's glad he made up with Yaguchi, that someone (at least, in part) sort of…gets him.

"Hey, Yotasuke-kun…can I ask you something?"

Then again, nothing good ever comes from a conversation that starts with that question. Yotasuke doesn't even lower his chopsticks from his mouth as he sends Yaguchi a pained look from across the lunch table.

Yaguchi, for his part, is still bashful as ever, realizing that he might be about to dive head-first into something. Regardless, he shoves the scraps of his sandwich in its wrapper aside and cocks his head a bit to the left. "Have you ever noticed your own habits?"

What a stupid question. But Hashida's pointed out his bluntness can be cruel at times and it feels too fresh, him having made up with Yaguchi, so Yotasuke doesn't voice his initial reaction aloud. He returns his attention to his own lunch, replying between bites, "Of course not. A habit is just that—something one does regularly and isn't guaranteed to be aware of."

"Ah, right, right…" Yaguchi rubs the side of his neck with his right hand. When silence drags between them, he fills it with a follow-up question: "So you don't realize how often your eyes drop down?"

"No, I don't," Yotasuke huffs. "But…I suppose it makes sense. I'm often studying things or doing something with my hands, so that's where my attention is—and I rarely raise my hands above my eyes."

Yaguchi hums in acknowledgment and drops the subject for now. He politely sips the rest of his drink while waiting for Yotasuke to finish eating before their next class, folding his arms on the tabletop and studying his friend. Then, as Yotasuke begins to clean up, he encourages with a bright grin, "Well, you should lift your head up, look up more."

There's a grumble stuck in the back of Yotasuke's throat. "Thanks for pointing out my bad habit."

"No! No, I'm not calling it bad," the blond rushes to correct. He grabs his trash and doesn't bother zipping up his bag in an effort to keep up with Yotasuke, who stomps out of the dining hall. "It was just something I noticed, is all."

Yotasuke won't give Yaguchi the satisfaction of asking why he should bother changing his ways. But he grinds to a stop in the middle of the corridor outside the dining hall, causing his tagalong nearly to crash into him. "If I have a bad habit, then so do you," he declares.

"Eh?!"

Yotasuke grips the straps of his backpack, focusing his eyes on the floor. "It's true, Yaguchi-san. You have a terrible habit of staring up at everything, all the time." He pauses. "Really, staring in general," he adds. "It's a very bad habit."

Yaguchi nervously laughs as they resume walking to class. "Yotasuke-kun, that's harsh… But, all right, point taken. I'm not trying to pressure you to be like me, you know."

The shorter boy glances askance at him.

"Really! I'm not. But maybe just…try something like…exposure therapy." Yaguchi nods to himself, hands in his pockets, happy with his idea. "Yeah, exposure therapy. Just looking up a few seconds at a time, interacting more with the others in class." He glances down at Yotasuke. "It's not that different from staring for art, right?"

Yotasuke doesn't answer him.

Honestly, nothing good ever comes from conversations that start with questions. (Or end with them.)

- ^-^3

…but…there's a stubborn part of Yotasuke that doesn't forget his conversation with his friend/rival (…no, it's rival/friend—they're rivals first, friends second) from the other day, and it's annoying to dwell on it. But it also has Yotasuke thinking.

He'll never admit to being wrong, but it doesn't mean that Yaguchi's point about looking up a touch more often is a completely horrible idea. As for interacting more with the others—well, one step at a time.

So Yotasuke begins to take baby steps, subtly, usually when before a classroom's filled or he's by himself. Especially when he's certain Yaguchi's not looking—the blond definitely seems the type to gloat if he found out Yotasuke took his advice.

It's easiest when he arrives first at the start of a class. Yotasuke isn't always the first one in the room, but the others in their class don't have the same fascination with him that Yaguchi does, so they tend to ignore the feeling of a thirty-second stare on their back. Murai and Aizawa are the most impervious or oblivious to attention—which, Yotasuke isn't certain—but Miki and Kakinokizaka always get curious at the last moment, turning their heads to look right as Yotasuke feigns interest in his notebook. He's not even sure Tanashi or Hachiro are aware of their surroundings as much, given how often Tanashi takes a nap before class begins and Hachiro gets absorbed in what Yotasuke guesses is a mobile game.

The teachers and assistants are much keener when it comes to attention, perhaps with all their experience anticipating students' questions. That's why Yotasuke doesn't bother much with Tsukinoki or Rosei (Nekoyashiki is not an option—just the thought of her riles him up). Even Yumesaki is fairly on the ball. Sakurai seems to have her eyes closed half the time, but Yotasuke doesn't want to stare only to find out she's staring right back; the thought's a bit unnerving.

But all of this stops whenever Yaguchi drops into an empty seat beside Yotasuke, because, of course, Yotasuke can't let Yaguchi cotton on to what he's doing. Only when he's absolutely certain Yaguchi's not looking does he make any attempts with the bothersome fellow in the room.

Initially, Yotasuke learns he's not as smooth as he thinks. Yaguchi catches him and gives him a secret thumb's up and Yotasuke severely, horrifically, graphically wants to die from embarrassment, but Yaguchi's big grin is tamped down and just for him and he lets Yotasuke carry on.

How frustrating—no, infuriating—to be found out, especially only two days in! Yotasuke sincerely considers giving up on this ridiculous endeavor. After all, it's not as though there's really much of an upside, is there? Aside from sacrificing his dignity… And Yaguchi never did tell him why he ought to look up more (not, he knows, that he asked).

Then again, it's not as though he has every last class with Yaguchi, so Yotasuke practices more elsewhere. He finds it gets easier, just a bit. A few classes turn into a few days, which roll into…a week. He makes it to the weekend looking up (just a little more than he's used to doing), and Yotasuke's surprised he's made it this far. He literally blinks in surprise, especially as Nekoyashiki ends today's lecture, teases everyone to have a nice weekend and "have fun but not too much fun," and leaves, and he doesn't feel the normal irritation he does in her class or around her. Then something bumps his arm.

"Oops, sorry," Yaguchi says, his smile small and apologetic. He reins in his stretch and starts packing up.

Yotasuke watches him, not unlike the way he's watched the others this past week. Yet, somehow, it's different. It's…easier, when it's Yaguchi. Maybe it's because he knows Yaguchi best of all the people here, so it's just the sense of familiarity. (Maybe he finds Yaguchi's little rituals entertaining? …no, definitely not.) Maybe it's just easier to do this, to try this new thing, with Yaguchi beside him.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

- ^-^3

"Ah! Yotasuke-kun!"

Ignore him, ignore him, ignore him.

"Yotasuke-kun, wait up! Come on…!"

It's the little plea in Yaguchi's voice at the end that gets Yotasuke's feet to slow to a halt outside the convenience store late one evening. He turns as the blond jogs to catch up with him but doesn't wait for Yaguchi to catch his breath before they begin a lazy stroll together. "You're out late, Yaguchi-san," he states in a monotone.

Yaguchi chuckles. "I guess I kinda am, huh? I was just hanging with my friends—ah, you met them during the festival!"

Who could forget such personalities? Those three are nearly as vivid as Yaguchi Yatora himself. Yotasuke gives Yaguchi the tiniest of shrugs in answer.

"Oh, but what about you? I'm so surprised to run into you here. I feel lucky, catching you out and about like this," he adds. His grin is big and toothy, talking about his luck, when Yotasuke peeks at him.

Yotasuke jostles the handles of the bag at his side. "I had to run to the art supply store before they closed…and sort of lost track of time. My mother texted me a mini emergency grocery list at the same time." He heaves a sigh—and then nearly stumbles as the bag disappears from his grip.

Yaguchi adjusts the bag over his shoulder. "I can carry it partway."

"Yaguchi-san, you don't have to—"

"Oh, hey, don't look away now!" Yaguchi beams at him (such a blinding sight). "You've been doing so well these past two weeks, but you still won't stare up at anyone or anything for a full minute, will you?"

Yotasuke nestles into his coat, angling his glare at the sidewalk for now. "Exposure therapy can be really slow-going, you know," he grouses.

Yaguchi groans. "Yotasuke-kun…!" He shakes his head. Then he stops, his attention diverted elsewhere. "Hey, come with me for a sec?"

Yotasuke picks up his head for a moment—for a fraction of a moment—and finds himself pulled in by golden eyes. These same eyes intimidate him…usually. But, right now, curiosity wins out, and Yotasuke shuffles close behind Yaguchi as they cross the street and turn up the block. They're greeted by a giant stone staircase, which Yotasuke regrets climbing the second his feet start moving, but at the end of the trail is a hillcrest, overlooking where they were and, if one squints, far beyond.

"Gotta love the city for having a million mini parks," Yaguchi laughs out loud.

"Yaguchi-san, I have to get home…"

"Still not gonna stare at anything around you?"

Yotasuke feels his irritation turn tangible in the pinch between his eyebrows. "Not this again… Yaguchi-san—"

"It's practically the next step, Yotasuke-kun."

"I thought the point of exposure therapy was to do it at my own pace?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

All this bugging has him fed up. Yotasuke isn't certain there's such a thing as a silent Yaguchi Yatora (even when sick during the entrance exam period, he sure made a commotion), so he turns Yaguchi by the arm to face him. And Yotasuke simply stares. (All right, perhaps he glares, but he can't help it; he's so annoyed right now!)

At least a full minute passes. Yotasuke's not sure if either of them blinks or, if they do, they happen to blink at the exact same time. Yaguchi's mouth hangs open just a bit.

"Satisfied?" Yotasuke huffs. Though he doesn't look away. He tones down his glare to what it should have been: mere eye contact.

But Yaguchi is at a loss for words. His mouth hangs open and incoherent babble comes out of it. In the awful light of the streetlight nearby, this dogged delinquent turns red.

Yotasuke blinks, taken aback. Good grief, why does Yaguchi never have his head screwed on straight when dealing with Yotasuke?! It's not as though the shorter boy's an alien from another planet. But, while Yaguchi tries to collect himself, Yotasuke takes the opportunity to appreciate the spectacle: a red-faced Yaguchi, hat slipping from his hair, at a loss for words. …huh. Is Yotasuke really the one to blame for Yaguchi's discombobulated self? …huh.

Finally Yaguchi catches his breath, though the rosy color doesn't fade from his face with Yotasuke's eyes still on him. He gestures with his free hand to their surroundings. "I, um, wanted to show you this, by the way."

Yotasuke quirks an eyebrow, but he turns anyway. And it's his turn to go silent and be awestruck.

Now that he finally tears his attention from Yaguchi, he sees the beautiful sight around them. And, truly, it's beautiful, the type of thing one might want to capture on canvas: A sea of stars, faintly twinkling above the city despite the light pollution. And yet the city lights don't ruin the sight for him but enhance it. It's as though, no matter where one stands in Tokyo, one is immersed in a sea of stars here on Earth. The lights below and above are just…breathtaking. Suddenly, it clicks, one reason perhaps why Yaguchi is still a night owl, a party person—only those types get to witness and enjoy this version of the city. And Yaguchi wants to share it. With him.

"Oh," Yotasuke says, because "oh" is all he can manage.

Yaguchi chuckles, but it's a softer, closer sound this time. There's…warmth? in his tone. "Ahh, seeing you react like that… I'm happy."

Yotasuke doesn't tear his eyes yet from the scenery, but he does turn his chin Yaguchi's way, prompting him to continue.

"I wanted you to see this. The last couple of weeks weren't just about me bugging you for missing out on things…" He stalls. "There are…things I wanna share with you, y'know?" He's forever his bashful self, being soft and offering Yotasuke a tiny, crooked smile when the other teen finally looks at him. Yaguchi is—so befuddling. He is soft and befuddling.

Yotasuke stares up at him again, as if looking long enough will crack the code on the puzzle that is Yaguchi Yatora, delinquent-turned-art student. Of course, no such thing will transpire, but Yotasuke does find that staring at Yaguchi doesn't frustrate him this time, nor does Yaguchi's fluster. So Yotasuke takes a step closer to Yaguchi and leans against his nearer arm in the cold, and he nestles once more in his jacket, hiding a tiny smile himself.

He's glad he chose not to ignore Yaguchi tonight. And he muses that perhaps some good can come of changing personal habits.

- ^-^3

:3c Since the manga is, technically, from Yatora's 3rd-person POV, it feels as tho we get to read him falling in love with Yotasuke, *lol*. But it's a lot of fun for me to write charries like Yota-kun, so I wanted to embrace things from his POV, too, y'know? (Hence Yatora being referred to only by his surname throughout. TT-TT BABIES, PLS. GROW CLOSER ALREADY!) ANYWAY! These two constantly canonically push and pull each other, and I just love their dynamic. Ayakine (Ayano/Kinemi) is still my 1stBP OTP, but Yatoyota is a close 2nd, no doubt. The closing scene, I literally wrote a note describing Yota-kun cuddling up to Yatora in the cold like the picky rabbit he is. XD ALSO! I have a spot of art for this fic bc the visuals wouldn't let me go and I love drawing Yotasuke, so please have a look! Other than that, I suppose I will see you in my next BP fic~ (Actually, final thought: Yatora surprised even me, taking the bag off Yota-kun's hands. My hands typed those lines before my head knew what was happening, *lol*. Oh, Yatora… XD What a good bf! :3)

Thanks for reading, and please review! Check out my other fics if you enjoyed this~ And reblog this fic on tumblr to show your support!

-mew-tsubaki -w-