Beast boy always loves to make the titans laugh and smile. Like every friend, right? But he intensely loved the way they would laugh or smile because of him. He joked and did things for not his but their laughs. But of course, you can't just make them laugh like that. So sometimes beast boy had to humiliate, hurt and the worst, use his imperfections and insecurities to make them laugh. It was worth it. Their laughs were his satisfaction so he kept on doing that. He loves their laughter and their smiles too much and some tears are worth it. After all it was just some saltwater. It was alright. Even if he pretended to laugh with him at his own flaw, at the end of the day, at night, he would cry himself to sleep and wake up with puffy eyes. He couldn't blame them. It was funny and they didn't even know that he felt such pain at the end of the day just because of the comments.

Now for the past 1 or 2 years he didn't find any new imperfections in himself to bring them out and make fun of them. So he didn't have nights were he would cry himself to sleep.

Eventhough he had lots of insecurities, there was one main insecurity. He sure had a lot. For example: his skin, his hair, his pointed ears, his fangs, his height and more. But that one insecurity was the worst. He hated it with pure passion and he also had it for years, desperately trying to get that flaw away from his life.

His weight.

Beast boy was insecure about his weight for about 4 years. And he had enough of the reflection in the mirror. He had always had been a skinny child. The scrawny kid. He was also always underweight in his life exept for when he was a baby. But he had never looked at himself with that much hate towards his body. Of course when he was 7 years old he noticed his tiny frame but he never really hated it. But he shouldn't care either. He was kidnapped and starved when he was 7 years old. So it would always be a little 'I look skinny' but never hatred. And that was until the doom patrol saved him. He remembered thurely how his insecurities about his weight started.

"Beast boy! I told you have to eat your whole plate! You resemble a skeleton!" Mentos voice was heard while he hit the table with his hands. The little green boy flinched at that sound. He put his head down a little. Rita looked at the scene with sad eyes while the other two heroes ate quietly. Beast boy put his tiny hands on the plate and pushed it to Mento a bit "B-but..I ate th-this much al..already.." He almost whispered. "I'm f-full.." Beast boy almost whined. Mento looked at him angrily.

"You're full?! You want to tell me that you're full?! Tell yourself that while looking at the mirror! You are all bones! Underfed and malnourished yet you refuse to eat?! You are going to eat every single thing of that plate, hear me?!" Mento's loud voice rang in the room. Beast boy was trying not to cry and held his tears. His lower lip was shaking as he thought he would cry the and there. Rita had enough. "Steve, please, he needs some time. His stomach isn't used to full meals. And you know how kids are, just let him have some time, he will grow out of his habits." Rita looked at him. He just looked away and didn't say anything. After that night he couldn't look at himself the same. Everytime he looked in that mirror his eyes were filled with hate and he realized that he was exactly the way Mento described him. An ugly, malnourished, undernourished, scrawny

Skleleton.

Now he was 11 years old and his habit was gone. Sure, sometimes he would pick at his food but the habit of only eating a quarter of the food in his plate was gone. But still he looked scrawny and just way too thin. Why? Why didn't he change?

He ate healthily so why didn't he look normal? Why was he still looking like a skeleton ready to fall from a dust of wind?

Just questions he thought about when looking at himself in the mirror. But he remembered that he was still a child so he would gain weight in the future. Probably when he will be 13 years old. So he hoped to get closer to the future. He would then get some muscle and some fat — ooh, and height would be nice too!..

But now he was 13 and his birthday was in just a couple of weeks and he still was that frail, scrawny child.

He hoped that after he turned 14 he would gain some weight because his weight really put him down.

But atleast the titans gave their sweet reactions to that big insecurity. The laughter and the smiles. He loved that so much.

And unfortunately the big insecurity made big and also lots of nice reactions.

The titans would roast, talk and laugh about his biggest insecurity - his weight a lot. And they weren't worried about anything at all. They weren't really worried about his mentality when cracking a joke about how he looked like a stick since he was there not looking hurt at all. And why should he? He was the happy one. He couldn't be sad or emotional for a long time. And physically they weren't really worried either. They knew he was low in BMI. They didn't worry about his strength since he could just transform into strong animal. And about his health they also knew that he did not faint that much. However he is the the member to most likely faint or collapse he rarely did. And he also didn't have that habit anymore. It was long gone and forgotten. But sometimes beast boy did forget to eat some meals here and there but that happened like what? One or two times with the titans. Nothing to worry about.

After the fight with Dr. Light they packed him into the car and began chatting with each other and their plans for today and what they should do since it was a sunny day. They were distracted with their chatting so they didn't even notice the little green challenging panting, sweating and constantly blinking and shaking his head to remove the black spots that were almost fully covering his sight. He also put his head down to get rid of the constant dizziness. Those feelings were also there during the fight but now they have gotten worse than ever. He then couldn't handle all the spinning and all those black nasty spots covering his face and he fell onto his knees, but still being conscious. Raven noticed her green teammate on the floor and let out a gasp. "Beast boy!" Raven yelled worried kneeling down to him to see what's wrong. That snapped the titans from their chat and they looked down to see a fallen green teen. More gasps came out there mouths. They all knelt to him then. "Friend, are you the alright?" Starfire asked with a worried tone. No reply. Beast boy had his eyes partly closed

but he couldn't focus right now, he tried to stay conscious. "Yo! B...B...wake up man! What's wrong?" He shook his friend but the only response was groaning. They looked at themselves worried for a second.

"Come on B, let's go home to see what's wrong.." his best friend grabbed him but before he could pick him up he refused.

"No...no..." He shook his head slowly while weakly protesting. They again shared worried glances. Before anyone could say anything beast boy's eyes closed and he almost fell. "Woah, beast boy, tell me.. what's wrong?.." Robin asked trying not to panic. Beast boy opened his eyes, Again, no response. Then they realized that he was quite hot and positioned him differently. He was now in Cyborg's lap, in case he fell again and the rest were waving air to him for good 3 minutes. The he finally spoke. " 'm..b-burn... ing" he groaned weakly. They looked at him with pure concern. "Beast boy, how are you feeling?"

Raven said with an unusual worried voice. "..I.. f-feel diz-dizzy...t-the floor...spinning.. m-make it s-s-stop.." he struggled to speak. "Beast boy.. ok, I need you to stay awake alright? Did you drink water today?" Robin asked. A slow nod after what felt like a minute. His body felt so slow. "Ok, and what about food, did you eat today?" A head shake came in response. They all looked at him sadly. He knew that he was theonly members that could just faint when skipping just one meal. And they did too. "Beast boy.. You know it's dangerous, so why did you do it?" Robin asked sadly. Beast boy only whimpered that said 'yeah ok can you please help me now'. Raven innerly cooed at the whimper. But it also kind of broke her heart.

'Why must he be so quiet right now?' She thought. "Friend, when was the last time you ate?" Starfire asked panicked.

Beast boy hesitated for a while. He knew he would get a long,long lecture about how important nutrition is.

"I'm not going to be mad, beast boy." Robin assured him. They expected him to just have skipped breakfast that day but it was more than that. "Y-Yester...d-d-day...b-break..fast.." he was slowly getting more and more dazed. His friends gasped at that. They looked at themselves one more time before cyborg put his hands on beast boy's shoulder.

"B.. that's really dangerous, never do that again... let's get you some food buddy.." Cyborg carried his light friend while noticing that he was even lighter than yesterday morning.

'How fast is his metabolic rate?' He sat him at the back seat and buckled him on. They others sat in the car as well. Raven looked over to beast boy who had his eyes closed and everytime there was a bump he swayed hardly in that direction.

They then stopped at a place for food ASAP so he could recover.

So he did have a serious problem with his weight mentally and also physically but their laughs and cooes and smiles and comments about his weight made him gain attention from them. He loved those reactions and wants to keep getting those from them, even if it takes him apart more and more at the way he looks at himself. He loves the attention and reaction part but hates the part when he thinks about his insecurities deeper with burning passionv. But again

It is alright.

{Hey guys, thanks for watching, for the people who read this before and see it changed, I accidentally deleted the original version and I was kind of really frustrated about that so I made a new one and I think this one is way better! So yeah, please review, bye}

09.10.2021

Words: 1885