Solid Snake was sleeping perfectly in his bed when he was suddenly awakened by the obnoxious sound of the colonel calling him.
"Snake wake up, the patriots are planning something big for the fourth of July, I need you to stop them"
"But colonel, it's February, can't this wait until Monday?!"
Solid Snake replied in the voice of David hayter.
"No snake, I need this done ASAP because it needs to be in our next progress report "
"Ugh, fine I'll go now "
Snake got out of bed and into his helicopter.
After flying around for a few hours Snake saw a massive suspicious looking oil tanker, which he assumed was the target.
Solid Snake jumped out of the helicopter and landed on the oil tanker.
"What's going on? This place is empty "
Snake continues to search the ship, but finds nothing.
Then snake realized that he missed a call from Otaku convention 3 hours ago.
"Ugh, fuck"
Snake called Otaku con and it takes 4 minutes for him to answer.
"Otaku convention, I'm on a stealth mission right now, why did you call me?"
"Snake, you are on the wrong oil tanker! You need to get out of there now!"
"Wrong oil tanker? What are you talking about? There's only one"
"No snake, there are 2 oil tankers and you are on the wrong one!"
"Ugh fine, I'll use my helicopter to search for the right ship"
"Snake your helicopter crashed into the ocean hours ago! You are going to have to wait for your ship to reach port "
Otacon said as statement of exposition.
"Ugh fine, I'll try to kill some time by gaming "
Snake started up his PSP and was getting ready to play his favorite game, but then heard a voice in his head, it said "Snake turn off your game console "
"Psycho Mantis!? " Snake said with concern for his own game console.
"No snake, that's Arnold Schwarzenegger!" Otacon said in terror.
Then psycho mantis removed his helmet reveling the massive austrian actor who was playing him.
"Arnold!? It can't be !"
Arnold Schwarzenegger now reprise his rolls as the terminator begins to fire several weapons at snake.
Snake is hit by several bullets before he rolls behind a crate for cover.
"Ugh bleeding "
Snake reaches into his inventory for a ration, but he accidentally consumes a cigarette instead.
"Aaaa! "
Snake exclaims as he collapses from the smoke filling his lungs.
When solid Snake returns to a state of consciousness he finds himself in a vast darkness.
After walking through the darkness for a while, snake receives a call from otacon, snake dosen't answer but otacon speaks anyway.
"Snake you are in purgatory, you need to get out of there fast or your soul will be lost forever!"
"Got it"
Snake replied in the usual way Solid Snake began looking around purgatory for useful items. His search leads him to a high quality sniper rifle laying on a table.
"Now I can fight back "
Snake looks down the scope of the sniper rifle, but all he sees is soliedus Snake.
Solid Snake pulls the trigger detonating the C4 that Solidus Snake was carrying.
When the smoke clears all that is left is a pile of ash and a metal gear.
"Metal gear!? It can't be!"
This was the biggest Metal gear snake had ever seen, it must have been more than 4 feet tall.
The metal gear fired hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of ammo at solid Snake, but he had fast rolls so he could avoid death.
Snake shot at the metal gear with his sniper rifle,which made it die a painful death.
After slaying the metal gear snake proceeded to the elevator which had an exit sign next to it.
Solid snake stepped inside the metallic motion box that promised to save him from purgatory, but just seconds after the solid steel gate of the automotive box closed the speakers began to blasting absurdly loud dubstep.
"Ugh dyeing "
Snake says as he feels his blood draining from his body.
Snake wakes up in a hospital bed surrounded by familiar faces.
"Snake you're awake!" Otacon says with relief that snake is not dead "What time is it? How long was I out?"
"Snake it's September 1st " the colonel says with a slightly aggressive tone.
"September 1st!? I thought I died on that oil tanker two years ago!"
"Snake you were dreaming, the oil tanker isn't real "
"Snake don't listen to them! They are clones created to trap you!"
Raiden yells as he runs into the now burning hospital room and begins gunning down everyone in the room.
"What the hell?"
Suddenly the environment begins to change. Snake finds himself in a small metal room with a bunch of furniture.
"Snake you were trapped in a virtual world, nothing you just experienced was real" otacon says as he finishes removing the VR equipment from Snake.
Suddenly Snake hears voice through the door "Snake turn off your game console, you've been on that game for hours!"
And with that Snake turns off the game console and returns to reality and exists his room.
"Morning boss"
"Morning Kojima"
And so a new day Mother base begins.