"Omigod, Jackie Burkhart?"
Jackie looked up from the pile of hair she was sweeping up, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach as she recognized the nasal tones of Kat Peterson, skank extraordinaire and one of the long line of girls to have been in Steven's bed. Kat had never really gotten over Steven being off the market and being notoriously monogamous when he was with Jackie, and Jackie had hated her guts for knowing Steven as intimately as she did.
She squared her shoulders and pasted a fake smile on her face. "Kat."
Kat let out a trilling laugh and Jackie winced. She looked gleefully at the broomstick in Jackie's hands and said with relish, "My, my. Look at you."
"You know," she continued, tapping her chin, "Mother's looking for a maid in the household staff. I think you'd be perfect for the job."
Jackie's hands tightened around the broom handle and she gritted her teeth.
"Hmmm well it's such a shame too. Seeing how Hyde's really moved up in life and all." She smirked, "You must have been terrible in bed. I mean," —she flicked her hair and gave another shrill laugh— "You're far too innocent-"
Jackie took a deep breath and started counting in her head. One two three... You need this job... Five six...
"—No wonder he dumped you for a stripper." She drummed her fingers on the counter and gave an evil sneer. "Hyde has always liked it, hmmm, how do I put this delicately… Dirty." She shrugged, giving Jackie a disdainful look. "And you, well, you're too much of a prude to satisfy a man like-"
Jackie lost it. Eyes blazing fire, she swung her broom and pitched the pile of hair on the ground at Kat's shiny blonde head. God, she freaking hated blondes. Sam. Kat. That stupid biker chick. Laurie and ugh, Donna. They were all out to get her.
Kat let out an ear-splitting scream. And screamed and screamed. Jackie would have laughed if she hadn't seen the thunderous expression on her boss's face as she hurried toward her.
"I'm wearing velvet you dumb bitch!" Kat shrieked.
"Miss Peterson! Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! Jackie's new, here let me try to get it off you."
"Ai. Ai! Yackie! What have you done!"
As it turned out, Kat happened to be a VIP customer at the salon, and both her boss and Fez were horrified that Jackie had treated her with such disrespect. She would have gotten fired if not for Fez, good old Fez, who was the salon's darling and a favorite with the customers, who had stepped in and stood up for her. She was made to grovel and apologize to Kat and it had made her taste bile to do so.
In all, it was a freaking disgusting day and Jackie got off work in abject misery, and decided to head to the mall to cheer herself up. As usual, she walked straight to the jewelry store, admiring the elaborate set up in the display windows.
She scanned the glittering pieces on display till she spotted it: a beautiful princess-cut solitaire that she had long since claimed as hers. It was the ring she had pointed out many times to Steven on the rare occasion that she managed to drag him to the mall on the once-a-month quota that he had set for her. It winked up at her prettily from where it nestled between a pair of matching earrings and a gorgeous bracelet. She wanted the entire set of course, but for Steven she was willing to settle for just the ring itself.
For Steven, she didn't even have to have this beautiful ring.
For him, she would have screamed a 'Yes!' to the tab off a can of soda.
She saw a hand reach in and take the accompanying earrings out from the case by the window and stared after it wistfully, silently envying the lucky girl that would be on the receiving end of such a lovely gift.
Unable to help herself, Jackie found herself walking around to enter the store, blindly following the path of the earrings that she had so wanted for herself.
It felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice water when she saw the stripper-red nails of Samantha Hyde reach out to put her earrings on her skanky lobes. She stood unable to move as an icy numbness spread to her fingers and toes.
"Hyde, baby. These are beautiful," Sam cooed. "You've great taste, baby."
Steven was seated beside her at the counter, arms crossed and legs stretched out before him. He grunted.
Jackie was finding it difficult to breathe. He chose them for Sam? He was buying his wife her earrings? But why not? A voice argued. She's his wife.
Her stomach clenched. Finding it hard to see as her vision blurred, Jackie turned quickly and walked out the store before any of them could see her. Unable to stop the flow of tears now, she half ran until she found a pillar the she could hide and cry behind. The entire situation reminded her eerily of the Packers game she had attended with the gang a year ago, only then, she still had Donna to come running after her and she had known that Steven still loved her. Today, she was crying behind a pillar again, and this time she knew no one would be running after her and the one man that she loved with all her heart no longer loved her.
Sucking in huge breaths of air, she struggled for composure. Once she got it, she wrapped it around her like a cloak and stepped out from behind the pillar and promptly bumped into a couple that were walking in the opposite direction. She looked from their clasped hands slowly up to their faces to mumble a quick apology when she heard the woman yelp.
"Baby, look! It's Jackie!"
Something inside of her withered and died. She struggled to force a small smile to her lips.
"Hey." She greeted them quietly, avoiding Steven's eyes.
She turned to leave but Sam grabbed her arm in a vice-like grip.
"Wait! Look what Hyde bought me!" She tossed her blonde head this way and that and Jackie dutifully ooh-ed and ahh-ed.
"They're beautiful, Sam. Steven's got great taste," she said hollowly. What was it about this girl that motivated Steven to do things for that he never did for Jackie? "I've really got to go."
"Let me give you a lift home."
Jackie was suitably stunned enough at his offer to finally meet his eyes. She found him studying her through his shades.
Sam's mouth dropped open. "But, Hyde!"
He ignored his wife, and continued to look at Jackie. "It's gonna rain." There was an infinitesimal pause, "And I know you sold your car."
She didn't know what he was up to. But being stuck in the car with the love of her life and his wife seemed like a new form of torture that he had summoned up just for her.
Jackie vehemently shook her head. She would rather eat glass.
"No."
"Jackie…"
"No. I'm good walking. It's not far."
Hyde looked at her closely then gave a shrug. "Fine. Whatever."
He grabbed Sam's hand and they went their separate ways.
However twenty minutes later, when the skies above Wisconsin opened and water poured forth, he found himself alone in the El Camino and trailing a distance behind the slight figure of his ex-girlfriend. She was soaked through, like he predicted, and even though he could have driven up to her and yelled at her to get in the damn car, he felt that things between them had soured to the extent that he preferred to sit in the safety and warmth of his car alone.
He knew she hated storms, so it was saying quite a bit that she chose the former over him. He supposed it was his fault, but by the time he had really found out that she didn't betray him by sleeping with Kelso, things had already gotten to the point where they couldn't be fixed.
When she had left him for that job of hers, the amount of pain that he had felt at her betrayal had been staggering. But unwilling to even contemplate a future without her in it, he had doggedly gone after her in Chicago, willing to do just about anything to make her see that her rightful place was by his side.
He had felt stifled by it of course, but the price to pay for having her in his life, though steep, was justified. He just couldn't live without her. And so, he had gone to Chicago, just like she had wanted him to. When he got there and found her with Kelso, it had ripped his heart out and torn it to shreds. He had been brought to his knees and he had vowed that nothing and no one would ever have that kind of power over him ever again.
He didn't stop to think that Jackie could have been blameless. He didn't stop to consider talking things out with her. His survival instincts kicked in, and if there was one thing that life had taught him so far, it was that pride was the only thing that kept you going.
Pride would keep your head up, stiffen your spine, and soldier you on to continue living. And so he sped out of that dreary motel and somehow found himself in Las Vegas. He had no memory of what he did there in the City of Lights. It all existed to him in a haze of booze and drugs. And women. Whatever he could get his hands on to forget Jackie. To numb himself to the pain of her treachery.
By the time he had finally found it in him to drive back to Wisconsin, he had re-built his wall of zen and reinforced it several times to shield himself from the one woman who had ever really scaled it and claimed his heart as victory. He had re-built it such that his heart would never be claimed again, and the kind of pain that he had felt would never again be experienced for what remained of his life.
Too many people had left him, and he wasn't interested in placing himself in that kind of position again. He had to have the upper hand; look what had happened the one time that he had let someone else have that.
Watching her trudge her way forlornly home tore at his insides. She didn't sleep with Kelso, but he was unwilling to let himself be vulnerable to her by opening up his heart to her again. He was damned if he was with her and he was damned if he wasn't. But by choosing to be without her he could guarantee that he would never be hurt again.
And he needed that guarantee. He valued it. He prized it above all else.
If the situation with Chicago and Sam had been any indication, he had accepted the fact that when it came to Jackie Burkhart, he could never not care. And since he couldn't stop caring about her, he found himself punishing her. Because it was her fault that things had gotten that way, and her fault for making him love her. Her fault for making him fall so low, making him feel and then crushing him under her size 5 boot.
He hated her, but he loved her. It was a complicated situation, but no one ever said that Hyde wasn't a complicated man.