The first thing that he noticed when he woke up the next morning was a tumble of sable hair across his chest, and a sense of deep peace filled his soul. The thing that followed that feeling of soul-stirring peace was an all-consuming fear. Fear so intense that it threatened to choke him. He could not breathe. A desperate need to flee flooded him. He could not do this, it was simply too much. He yearned for the safety of emotionless zen.

She must have felt him shift, for she stirred awake. It took her a moment, but then she must have remembered the previous night for she turned to look up at him with a smile of deep joy on her lips.

Her eyes were big and beautiful and limpid, and as usual, they reflected her every emotion. He read in them all that she had to offer and all that she wanted from him. All that she wanted, and all that he was scared shitless to give. Because built at the very core of the man that he was, lay an unquenchable need to preserve himself. And in her eyes, he saw a demand that he could not fulfill.

Not now anyway.

He shrugged her off his chest gently, intent on getting away. Sam was gone. And with her went his shield and his easy way out.

Jackie held the sheet up to her chest. She looked at Steven and a sinking feeling started to pool in her stomach. She watched as he searched for the jeans he had discarded the night before and wrench open a drawer to grab a t-shirt.

A Ted Nugent one, she saw. When he reached across her to grab his keys and shades off the sideboard where her picture once rested, she could hold it in no more.

"Steven," she said.

He stopped mid-reach and fisted his hand at his side.

"Steven, please look at me."

He turned towards her then, and as she looked into his eyes, his blue blue eyes, she knew. She knew in her heart and her soul that it was not to be, again. His eyes were conflicted and pained, but mostly, she saw desperation.

It hurt, it really hurt her to know that it seemed that all she was capable of making him feel was that.

"Jackie, stop it. I can't be that guy, okay?"

"What guy? Steven, I don't need you to be anyone."

"Yeah, you do. All your hopes and expectations and dreams and crap and goddamn ultimatums.

"I'm not that guy and I will never be that guy." He shoved his hand violently through his unruly hair. "God, Jackie. Leave me alone. You're stranglin' me, man."

She swallowed and put a hand out. "Okay… Okay." She racked her brains and tried to think of the right thing to say. The right thing that would not chase him away.

"What do you need from me, Steven. What can I do?"

Something in him snapped. Fire shot out from his eyes and he growled, "God, just stop, okay. Stop being you."

Jackie reeled as if he had slapped her and she paled. "Okay…" She swallowed again, hard. "Okay. I see."

She licked her dry lips.

"Look, I can't give you a diamond ring okay. I still can't. I don't know if I ever can. Why can't you just go back to bein' that girl who was okay with a burger wrapped in tinfoil?"

She was nearly crying now. "I thought you wanted me. You did last night. You were happy last night."

"Yeah, and then I woke up, okay. Without the alcohol buzz. And god I can see it in your eyes and it freaks me out. You freak me out. I can't be around you right now. You gotta leave, doll. Last night was" —he pulled a hand down his face— "a mistake okay. I was upset cos Sam left and you were there. And old habits die hard."

She started sucking in short breaths of air.

"I love you, Steven. Please. Please… I can't stop," she whispered pleadingly.

Desperately.

Hyde stared at her disbelievingly. His gut wrenched.

"Jesus, Jackie. Seriously? Now? After everything I said? I can't freakin' believe this." He grabbed his keys and shades off the sideboard and strode to the door.

She watched him leave. God she couldn't take it anymore. Her heart was ripped to shreds. And she curled up in his bed where she could still smell him on the sheets, and she cried and cried until no more tears would come.

Just when she thought that life could not throw her anymore curve balls, it did. And right after she got home from her night with Steven too.

Jackie stared disbelievingly at the letter in her hand.

Dear Ms. Burkhart,

We regret to inform you that the standing order you have issued to withdraw funds in payment for tuition fees at The University of Wisconsin has been unsuccessful due to insufficient funds in your account.

You may wish to explore other options to fund your education at the above mentioned institute.

Yours sincerely,

John Watten

Manager

Point Place Commercial Bank

This was impossible. Jackie dialed the number provided frantically.

"Good morning, PPCB, how can I assist you?"

"Yes my name is Jacqueline Burkhart and I would like to know why I've received a letter stating that my account has insufficient funds? That's impossible!"

"One moment please, Ms. Burkhart." Jackie could hear the click clacking of keys through the phone.

"There's no mistake, Ms. Burkhart, there was a large withdrawal made from your account dated three days ago. Your current balance is $250 and point zero three cents."

Jackie sank shakily down to her bed, her fingers clutching the phone so tightly they had gone white.

"Who," her voice broke and she cleared her throat. "Who made that withdrawal?"

More clacking, then, "From our branch in Cancun, a Mrs. Pamela Burkhart, miss."

Jackie sat on her bed in her bedroom for a long time staring at nothing, thinking of everything. When she finally registered that the pale, broken-looking girl that was looking back at her in the mirror was herself, she pulled herself up and plastered the most courageous smile she could muster on her face. A deep resolve gathered inside her and cemented her spine. She sat up straight.

Come to Africa. She remembered Eric's words.

Her chin lifted and her she squared her shoulders.

Fine, she thought, I'm going to Africa.

The next several days passed in a whirl for her. She sorted out the necessaries, cleaned out the $250.03 in her account, informed Mrs. Forman that she was going away for a bit, told Fez she was moving out, collected the deposit from her share of the rent and blew it all on the plane ticket to Africa.

Fez was kind enough to let her keep her stuff in her room till she found a new place, but was puzzled when he heard that she was going to Africa.

"But Yackie, I don't understand."

"What, Fez?"

"Why're you going to Africa?"

"Eric's in Africa."

"Yes, and that is what I don't understand," he stated blankly. "Why would you want to go to Africa when Eric is there?"

"Oh Fez."

She thrust a bag of M&Ms at him. He shut up.

The truth was, she didn't know what to tell him. Heck, she couldn't even explain it herself. But she was drowning and she felt that only Eric would be able to save her.

Two days later, she was on a plane to Africa.