Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
Despite his best laid plans and all that, Eddie could not catch Beck for anything on Monday. Gym had guys and girls split up with the guys in the weight room which he hated almost as much as being outside.
He had entirely given up and was waiting for his bandmates outside the school when he felt someone tug on his hair. There was a reason he wore a lot of rings on his dominant hand and he jammed his fist into his jacket pocket and wheeled around, ready to go down swinging as always.
Beck looked alarmed for a second before her face turned guilty. She gently rested her hand on his forearm and held his eyes. "Sorry about that. I was just trying to… tease you. I didn't mean to startle you. Usually I'm the one who scares easy."
He couldn't help but crack a smile and ran a hand through his hair to cover his embarrassment. "You seem to believe I will never misuse that information."
"Or I like taking risks," she shrugged, holding his gaze intently. She leaned against the wall, facing him. "So D&D? What do I need to do?"
"You've passed the first test already," he said, moving closer and whispering conspiratorially.
"Oh and what was that?"
"Seeking out the company of a known freak in public at Hawkins High."
Her face darkened and she rolled her eyes. "Fuck them. If they're that stupid, they don't deserve the pleasure of your company."
Eddie bent to pick up his backpack, hoping his hair and posture would hide his glowing cheeks as he thought, I wish I could be even more pleasurable company…
Beck watched him dig through a dumpster fire of a backpack and pull out a well loved copy of a book called The Player's Handbook. She thumbed through the pages, taking in gorgeous artwork and dozens of handwritten notes and sticky tabs.
"You want to figure out what race and what class you want to play before we start. And probably combat rules. And maybe skill checks," he offered, sounding like he was trying to hold back a much longer list. "Here…"
She felt him press close beside her as he began flipping through the book, noting which tabs were for each of the things he had listed.
"Homework from Eddie Munson. Who'd have thought?"
"Only of the most vital manner," he quipped, allowing her to snap the book shut but staying close to her. "Wednesday too soon?"
"Not at all." She looked up into his eager face and a thrill of delight ran through her when she saw him leaning toward her protectively, like a sheltering tree. "Anywhere but my house."
His faced twitched with the obvious question but he didn't ask mercifully. "Library then?"
"Perfect."
As Eddie heard his bandmates shout his name behind him, he snapped upright, pulling back from her.
"Till then," Eddie said, grinning colyly over his shoulder at her before jogging to catch up with them.
Beck had been reviewing her race and class of choice at a table in the back of the library, when the disaster backpack dropped in front of her. She stifled a shriek and looked up to see Eddie looking as mischievous as Puck himself.
"Goddamn you!" she laughed, pushing him teasingly as he sat down.
"D&D lesson number one," he said, "actions have consequences."
"What an insightful DM you must be," she teased.
He pulled a character sheet out of his bag and smoothed it out between them. "First thing's first! What race are you?"
"Wood elf."
Eddie knew as he did it that openly rolling his eyes at her was probably going to backfire. And indeed the look she shot him was totally deserved.
"Problem?" she asked icily.
He flinched inwardly and tried to recover. "It's just very… on the nose."
"Explain."
He stared hard at the table top as he forced himself to explain. "I mean, you're a girl playing D&D. And then there's your look…"
He peered up at her through his shaggy hair and found her smirking at him.
"You get a pass this time since you said I look like an elf. But you asked me to play, not the other way around."
He had no argument for that so he scribbled wood elf along with race traits like darkvision onto the sheet and then looked back over to her. "Okay, your class?"
"Barbarian."
Again with the uncontrolled facial expressions he knew, but this time what she saw seemed to please her.
"Your turn to explain. Why barbarian?"
She shrugged. "Because I want to rage and kill everything? But like with finesse?"
Beck watched as he clenched his hand into a tight fist as he met her eyes, grinning. She had spent enough time with him to notice that if he had a strong reaction, you could usually catch sight of some physical tick to tamp it down. Her stomach clenched at the thought she had pleased him with her answer.
She watched him fill in slightly more of the sheet and then dig into his bag for some dice.
"Let's get rolling then!"
Beck quickly learned why he had such a dedicated group of players: his enthusiasm was infectious. Not only did he know what seemed like an unending amount about this elaborate universe, but it clearly was a passion of his.
And as the sheet became more and more filled in, Eddie moved closer and closer to her, darting around her like a Dungeon Master hummingbird to point out a detail or help with the surprising amount of math needed for this game.
An hour and a half later, Beck knew she was supposed to be learning about skill checks, but by that point Eddie was standing behind her with an arm braced on the table, leaning forward to read over her shoulder. His face was nearly beside hers and she had never been more tempted to dart in and kiss someone. If she knew how he would feel about it, she might even do it.
Eddie felt her breath on his cheek and his skin prickled at the thought of her mouth so close to his. But he also realized how much he had invaded her personal space for this to be the case and had been repeatedly reminded how annoying this was to many people he knew, including girls he had been interested in. He pulled back quickly, deciding to strike a pose and standing arms akimbo as he finished explaining Athletics vs Acrobatics checks.
She was smiling but seemed distracted and he didn't want to monologue (another common complaint), so he suggested they call it for the evening. The library was closing soon anyway and he didn't want someone hassling him and souring his mood.
"Need a ride?" he asked once they were outside. His van was shit but it ran and he didn't want her to walk alone this late at night. Plus weird shit always happened in Hawkins.
"I'm not far so I'll walk it."
"I can walk with you. Hawkins can be… dangerous. Don't let the corn fields fool you."
Beck's heart melted at the offer. She wanted to take him up on it but not enough to deal with the potential fall out. Despite herself, she caught his hand in hers.
"You're too sweet for your own good, Eddie. It's a few blocks and I'm safe. I'll see you around."
Eddie squeezed her hand back, hoping she couldn't feel his heart slamming like a jackhammer. Reluctantly he felt her hand pull away from his as she walked away. He watched her go for as long as he could before climbing into his rusting van.
As he pulled onto the main road, he counted off the wins of the night: barbarian elf was a VERY pleasant surprise, she didn't seem to mind him too much, voluntary physical contact. But something nagged at him as he slammed on the gas, trying to outrun his thought: she called him sweet and sweet was what you called a puppy or a brother.
Friday gym finally had them outside again. Eddie had found himself waiting and planning for the next time he would see her, which was far more rare for him than some of his bandmates. Between that and the way he seemed to constantly get caught sneaking glances at her at lunch he knew he was being a little too obvious. But subtlety was not in the cards for him, no matter how much he sometimes wished it was.
Beck climbed over the girders under the bleachers to join him.
"What's the lesson today, Professor Munson?" she asked, sitting close to him so she could read out of the Dungeon Master's Guide.
"How to envision and roleplay your character," he answered. Despite their earlier time in the library, this felt the most vulnerable to him. Nothing was more nerdy than trying to embody a character who was entirely in your head. But to his relief this seemed to intrigue her.
"Do explain, good sir," she said.
He rested the book over where their knees touched and began to explain tricks players would use, like verbal traits, backstories, secrets, and behavior quirks.
"I didn't realize you're trying to make a whole person," she said when he finished. "This is really similar to what some actors do when getting ready for a role."
"Not so different," he agreed. "Except they're art and we're Satanic."
"Ah yes," she said. "I forget you're my cult leader. Let me know what sacrifices you prefer."
"I will accept gifts of food and drink. And you can definitely bribe this DM."
"Oh," she said sounding disappointed.
"What?"
"I thought you might prefer a virgin."
"I mean... I don't... oh fuck me," he said, falling over theatrically to pretend he had died. His cheeks flamed up a bright red and Beck laughed, delighted to have caught him off guard.
They heard a whistle and reluctantly put the book away and crept out of the bleachers. As they walked back, a handful of dirt exploded into Beck's face. She stopped dead in her tracks and scrubbed at her eyes, coughing hard.
"Fucking the freak again?!" someone shouted at her as a few girls ran past laughing.
"Bourgeoisie sheeple bitches!" Eddie shrieked at them, stopping to check on Beck. "Goddamn! You okay?"
She shoved his arm away from her. "Just fucking perfect."
He watched her storm away from him, afraid to follow her and wishing he could help her. There was unfortunately a really obvious way he could do that...
Beck washed her face in the sink of the locker room while listening to giggles behind her. Mercifully, Sarah and a few other theater kids had protectively grouped around her so she didn't need to worry about further harassment. She hated that she was so angry she was trying not to cry, which was why she had shoved Eddie off of her. She was certain that was not clear to him which meant trying to patch that up if he was upset.
Sarah leaned against the sink next to her and rubbed her back consolingly.
"I'd say they're just jealous but they're just bitches so there's really no excuse," Sarah said, making Back laugh and releasing some of the tension.
"You really would think I would have more control over my reactions to bullying by now…" Beck said darkly.
"You know you're always welcome at my house," Sarah said, moving in closer so they wouldn't be overheard.
"I know but I don't want to explain why I'm always there. I appreciate it though. May need to this weekend if that's okay."
"Always! Can hit the mall again too!"
Beck smiled at her friend and let Sarah lead her back to the lockers.
The next week started before Beck realized Eddie was avoiding her, which flooded her with anger. She thought he was better than that. Apparently not. Apparently just another asshole guy cutting and running when his little feelings got hurt.
After both Monday and Tuesday passed without any sight or sound of him, she was going to find him and knew where.
Eddie realized something was happening based on the faces of the guys at his table alone. Then two hands slammed down on the tabletop in front of him, making him jump back.
"What the fuck is your problem?" Beck hissed, thumping down into the seat directly across from him. "I brush you off and you just ignore me? How fucking fragile are you?"
And now his friends were staring at him like he was a dumbass.
"We can talk about this–" he tried.
"Right now," she cut him off. "I'm not hunting for you later. You're here. We're talking."
This time when his fist reflexively clenched she knew it was not approval.
"Come on," he growled at her, pushing away from the table and storming out of the cafeteria.
She followed close behind him, matching his long strides.
"Where are you going?" she finally asked after following him through half the school.
He shoved open the door to the janitor supply closet and followed her in.
"I'm not mad at you!" he nearly shouted as soon as the door was shut. "Goddamn, Beck!"
"Then what are you doing?! I'm not stupid! I know you're ignoring me!"
He had to admire that she matched his energy, not backing down to him and not escalating.
"I just wanted to help! I thought if you weren't seen with me then you wouldn't get pushed around or have dirt thrown in your face!"
She glowered at him and crossed her arms under her chest. Okay that was completely unfair because it both pulled her shirt lower and pushed her chest higher and she looked gorgeously fierce and they were in a damn closet together. He dropped his gaze to his boots.
"I told you I can handle it. You can fucking see me, right?"
He nodded but she wasn't happy with that.
"Look at me!"
He met her blue eyes and drank them in.
"I know I look like something that lives in the bottom of a cave. You are not the reason for any of this. And I'm not letting them decide who I spend my time with!"
"You don't," he said and then stopped talking, wishing he had the good sense to shut up sometimes.
"I don't what?"
"You don't look like a cave creature," he said. "You look like a wood elf, remember?"
She smiled in spite of herself and uncrossed her arms. "Oh I remember."
"I'm sorry," he said miserably. "I thought I was helping."
Beck sighed, annoyed and relieved in one big swirl of emotion. "Maybe ask me what I want then. I don't need to lose friends in addition to all this."
That earned her a bright smile and she watched him playfully (one could almost argue flirtatiously) pull the ends of his hair over his jawline.
"Friends?" he asked.
"Of course. Us freaks need to hang together."