The Fomans' annual Veteran's Day barbecue was in full swing when Jackie arrived, almost two hours late because of work.

"But it's a holiday, Jackie!" Kitty cried as she opened the door to reveal a sheepish and rather harried looking Jackie on her doorstep.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry! Traffic was terrible and the buses were all on a holiday schedule," she explained as she took off her coat and scarf. "I lost track of time at the studio but got on the earliest one I could."

She handed a bottle of wine to Kitty and leaned in for a hug. "Great turnout Mrs. Forman," she said, looking around.

"Yes it is, isn't it?" Kitty said proudly. "Now come on in, and grab what you can. We're having it buffet-style this year," she trilled and led Jackie into the crowded living room. "And there're more people out back!"

She stopped to grab a cocktail sitting at the bar and thrust it at Jackie, making her way through to the kitchen and driveway, where Jackie could see Red behind a huge grill.

Jackie's stomach growled and she made her way over to the buffet already set out in front of the garage as Kitty was waylaid by a tall brunette who wanted more wine.

A flash of hot pink appeared in her peripheral vision when she was piling her plate high with potatoes, and she turned to greet Sam with a practiced smile. The smiles were getting easier to summon, and though she no longer detested Sam with the crippling intensity that she knew before, she was still a long way from liking her as a friend.

Being in the same room as Steven and Sam was still hard for her. Jackie wasn't completely sure how to act around him, for even if she would be the first to tell everyone that she was a selfish, egocentric person with no morals, the truth was that she wasn't.

She had grown up in a household where her father had affairs with his secretaries and her mother traipsed around half-naked with men half her age. But Jackie was in actuality, deeply traditional. She valued the sanctity of marriage and respected the wholeness of a family. She would never do anything to sabotage what little chance Steven, Samantha and their coming baby had to be a family together.

She cared a great deal for Steven, she always would, and she tried to make it easier for him to deal with the doom he seemed to view his impending fatherhood with by simply being there for him.

But she was afraid that he would take this new truce or peace or whatever it was that their relationship had yet again evolved into, as a promise or prelude to something more.

"Potatoes?" she asked Sam and made to ladle some onto her plate.

Sam beamed at her. She looked radiant and Jackie made it a point to tell her so. Sam loved compliments and since Hyde seemed to tolerate her at best, Jackie tried — though at the start through gritted teeth — to make her day every once in a while.

Hyde absolutely hated that they were getting along, that Jackie was trying to be friends with his non-wife, and sometimes she wasn't sure why she was doing it either. But it felt like the right thing to do and so she did.

Hyde and Sam still fought, sometimes viciously and Hyde could be incredibly cruel when he chose to do so. He hadn't forgiven Sam for lying to him about Larry and even though he had asked her to come back it wasn't done out of actual desire for her to be with him but more because he had wanted to get back at Jackie. Which was an extremely stupid move since he now found himself in a twenty-foot deep hole in which he had dug himself into and had no idea how to claw his way out of. He wanted Jackie back with a vengeance, but he couldn't because of Sam, and the fact that it was because of him that Sam was even in the picture in the first place was a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.

Jackie took her plate and found her way up to the grassy backyard where a couple of tables had been set out. There were fewer people around, and the only place where she could eat in some semblance of peace without having to make small talk. She wasn't in the mood to be sociable, and had only turned up to the party because it meant a great deal to Kitty, and Jackie cared about what mattered to Kitty.

She was half-way through her plate when a shadow fell across the table. She looked up to see Donna towering over her.

"Hey," Donna greeted her.

"Hey. Join me?"

"Yeah, thanks."

She pulled a chair over and settled herself next to Jackie, watching the people milling around in the driveway.

"Quite the turnout this year, huh," Donna said.

Jackie's lips quirked upwards. "Isn't it like that every year?" She speared some chicken. "Where's your other half?

"Uh, he's out there somewhere. Probably with Hyde or Fez."

Jackie frowned at the lackluster tone of Donna's voice. "Is something up with you two?" she asked hesitantly.

Donna heaved a sigh. She pursed her lips into a tight line before answering. "Well, really it's more like what's not up."

She faced Jackie who was swirling her chicken in gravy. "Something's missing. I mean, I'm feeling like there should be more to it than just this."

"Um. I'm not sure I'm getting you there."

"Yeah. You know how it was when I was with Eric and I was like, really excited to move in together, or to get married or whatever. Even though after that I realized that all of it was a stupid idea, but I was excited, you know."

"Uh-huh."

"Yeah well, I'm not feeling that with Randy."

"Okay… So what do you feel with Randy?"

"I dunno. Just. Like, I'm settling, or something." Donna pushed a hand through her hair. "And it's so stupid, because, he's a really great guy, and c'mon, look at him! He's gorgeous."

She leant back and sighed, unconsciously fiddling with the necklace around her neck.

Jackie suddenly lost her appetite.

"Does Randy know you're wearing that?" she asked Donna quietly.

"Maybe. I think so," came the answer just as quietly.

"Do you love him?"

"Randy? Yeah. I mean, I think I do. No wait. I definitely do. But it's just different, you know."

Jackie waited for her to continue.

"It's like, I dunno." She swiveled her head to look at Jackie again. "Have you ever felt for anyone else what you felt for Hyde?"

No, Donna. Please don't ask me that.

Jackie looked away. "I don't know," she said.

Donna blew out a breath. "Yeah exactly. We're living together and everything, and I suppose I'm really happy. But, argh! I just can't figure out what's wrong with me."

Jackie pushed her plate away and Donna frowned at her.

"You're really quiet. Which is weird. 'Cos you'd usually have loads of 'advice'" —she stuck two fingers in the air— "to give."

Jackie smiled and shook her head gently. "Well I'm coming up empty," she said, shrugging.

Donna sighed again. "Enough about me," she muttered and looked out at the crowd again. She turned back to Jackie suddenly. "Hey. I realized that you never really told me about Africa."

Jackie gave a start, then took in a calming breath and leaned back into her chair. She placed her arms on the arm rests and looked around at nothing in particular. "What do you want to know?"

"Um, everything? Like, I dunno, what's it like? Was it nice? Did you like it there?"

A soft smile crossed her face and Jackie's eyes took on a faraway look.

"I loved it there. It was beautiful. It's so different from here, you know. The land, the people. So vast and harsh and raw, I suppose."

She pulled herself back and looked into Donna's blue-grey eyes. "At first it was kind of a shock, 'cos everything's so different from here. But I fell in love and the thing is, I don't think I've fallen back out since."

She gave a muted laugh. "Who would've thought, huh? I mean, they've barely got electricity and plumbing has never been heard of, where I was. And I'm me, for crying out loud. But gosh, everything was so real there."

Donna looked at her in surprise. "Oh my God, Jackie. You really did like it there. I'd thought it was because you didn't want to come back 'cos of Hyde and all that. But it wasn't just that, was it?"

Jackie gave her a wan smile. "I'm back here, aren't I?"

Donna nodded slowly. "And look at where Hyde is," she mumbled. She reached over and touched Jackie's arm. "I'm really sorry, you know. About this whole fiasco you have with Hyde."

Jackie covered her hand, touched at the sincerity in her voice. "It's okay," she said. "But, Donna… Thank you."

Donna nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. It disappeared as a small frown appeared and she thought about how to phrase her next question. "Jackie…," she started hesitantly, "how was Eric over there?"

Jackie's eyes flew to Donna's. Her voice was low when she answered her friend, "I'm actually quite surprised it took you so long to ask me that." She looked down at her lap, "I had thought it would be the first thing you'd ask me when I came back."

Donna sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, I know. But I was… afraid. I wasn't sure how I would have felt if you had told me that he was miserable or much worse, happy."

She crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair, just like Jackie had done.

"Happy to leave Point Place. Happy to leave… me."

"But you're with Randy now."

Donna lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "I guess. Maybe that's why I finally thought that it would be okay to know how he was." She glanced askance at Jackie. "So… was he miserable?"

Jackie couldn't help the smile that tugged at the sides of her lips at the hope in Donna's tone, but inwardly she was troubled. Such a simple question but it was filled with so many grey areas that it sent her head spinning.

Was he miserable? Yes and no. Misery was no longer definitive. Eric had changed; no longer straight and uncomplicated, he was filled with so many murky areas and complexities that it was a miracle that he was able to bear it at all.

Yes, he was miserable; but not for reasons that Donna, as worldly as she liked to think herself as, was capable of thinking of.

And no, he wasn't; he was the happiest that she had ever seen him when he was in the land that he loved.

She mulled over her answer, unsure how to answer Donna, and she didn't think that Donna would ever understand the man that Eric had become.

"He's different," she said at last. "And I think only he can tell you if he's miserable or not."

Donna looked at her disbelievingly. "That's it? After four months there I thought you'd have leapt at the chance to gossip or diss him or whatever."

Jackie shrugged noncommittally, reluctant to discuss what she thought of as Eric's private matters. She reached for her wine cooler and took a sip.

Donna blinked, and seemed nonplussed at Jackie's unwillingness to share, slash, gossip. After a moment, she looked Jackie over thoughtfully.

"You've changed," she said at last.

Jackie let out a peal of laughter. "Because of this?"

"Well, and how you've been handling the situation with Hyde."

Jackie shook her head, still amused. "Nah, I haven't really. But we all have to grow up sometime."