"No one knows this, but four months ago, Pop came to see me. He called and asked me to meet him in Newark." I took a deep breath and knew I had to continue. I looked at Stephanie and decided it was time to lay it all out there and just get it over with.

"What did he want?" she asked me since I took too long to continue.

"He had just gotten back from a doctor's visit. The doc had run some routine tests on him and didn't like the results, so he called him back in for more tests. During that, it was determined that Pop only had a few months, six at the most, to live."

"What was wrong? Why didn't he tell your mother?"

"Three of his arteries were about ninety-three percent blocked and the fourth one was about eight-five percent. He didn't want to worry mom, but felt he needed to tell someone. He made me promise not to say anything to my brothers."

"I asked him about surgery, but he said no. I offered to pay for it, thinking it was the cost for the reason he was refusing it, but he still said no. He didn't want to have the surgery only to die on the operating table. He said he wanted to be able to spend every last day with Mom doing things and not stuck in a hospital."

"If I'd said something to Mom or my brothers, things might have turned out differently. But he made me promise not to tell them."

Steph looked at me, "Yes, things would have turned out differently. I may not have met your father when he was well but hearing you and Chase talk about him these past few months, I can tell you this. If you had said something to your mother or brothers, your pop would have been upset with you."

"He may have been so upset that he had a heart attack sooner. But, as it was, he was able to spend the last four months with your mother and make wonderful memories for her. He was able to do things he'd have not been able to while stuck in the hospital."

I knew she was right, but I still felt like shit for knowing and not telling. Steph must have known because she looked at me and shook her head. "Matthew, you need to stop beating yourself up. It's not your fault." She reached for my hands and pulled me up in front of her. When she wrapped her arms around me, I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let go and finally cried for my pop, mom, brothers, and myself.

I realized I was upset that Pop had put me in the position I was in. I needed to talk to my family and ask for their forgiveness. After a few minutes, Stephanie pulled back and asked me, "Are you okay now?"

Nodding, I kissed her lips, "I am and I'm sorry I've been an ass towards you. You didn't deserve that. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course. I love you," she said as she squeezed me tight. We walked back to the church and took our seats. Once the viewing was over, we all headed out to the cemetery. Mom and my brothers rode in the family limo, but Steph and I took the SUV. I wanted to be alone with my wife and get myself centered.

As we gathered around the burial place, I noticed Stephanie reached for my mother's hand. How she had become a support for my mother so quick, I'll never understand. I've always known there was something special about my wife, but seeing it first hand is amazing. After Pop was laid to rest, the family went back to the house. There were guests coming and going all afternoon. Most of them brought food for everyone. There were tears, laughter, and silent moments as we all told stories of the amazing man we said goodbye to.

Stephanie and I were in bed holding each other when she brought it up, "Matthew, when are you going to talk to your mom and brothers?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, squeezed her to me, and took a deep breath, "I think I need to do it soon, so probably tomorrow."

I felt Steph try to slide closer to me, so I pulled her so she was laying half on top of my body. Feeing her that close relaxed me, but when she started kissing my chest, I was a goner. Her lips started my shoulder and travelled down and across my chest. I felt her tongue slip out and glide across my nipple and I lost it.

Flipping my wife onto her back, I hovered above her and just stared into her eyes. It had been a few days since we'd made love, but until that moment, I'd not even thought about it. I'd been so wrapped up in my feelings that I'd not stopped to take the time to appreciate my wife. "I'm so glad you are here with me. I know I've not said it, and my actions probably make it seem different, but I honestly don't know that I'd be here if you weren't."

I saw her looking at me wondering what I meant by that statement, but she leaned up and kissed my lips and the time to talk was done. I entered her slowly and felt like I was coming home. I saw her eyes roll back and knew she was feeling it as well. We made love for hours before we both finally allowed ourselves to cross the edge and fall.

We fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, and for the first time in a few days, I felt like all would be okay. The next morning, I woke up to Stephanie running her hands over my chest. "Morning, Honey," I whispered as I captured her hand and brought it to my lips.

"Morning, Matthew," she whispered. I could tell something was bothering her but had no clue what it was.

"Steph, what's wrong?"

"You said something last night and I'm just wondering what you meant?"

I waited for her to continue, but in my heart I knew what she was talking about. "If we weren't married, chances are high that I'd already be out if the country. I'd have called my old handler and begged for an assignment. But, you being here kept me from doing that."

I watched as she took in what is said and I realized the minute she took things the wrong way. "So my being here is keeping you from doing what you really want?"

"No! You being here has made me see that I am where I need to be. I need to deal with this and be here for my family. If you weren't here for me, I'd have left and never dealt with this."

Steph thought for a moment and seemed to believe what I'd told her; that was a good thing because it was the truth. I've never lied to her before and I wasn't about to start. After we laid there for a little longer, we decided it was time to get up. I needed to talk to my family and Steph needed some food.

After we showered and dressed, we headed down to the kitchen and were met with the sounds of my brothers arguing. "Sounds like old times," I whispered.

Walking into the kitchen, we saw Chase standing on the side of the table, while Martin and Malcolm were waiting for the okay from Chase so they could begin their arm-wrestling contest. "Those two have always done this. They cannot beat me or Chase, but they always try. They've been equals against each other, but they still insist on challenging each other until one of them finally wins."

Chase covered their hands and counted down from three. When he reached one, he removed his hand and allowed them to go at it. We stood there watching for a few moments before Mom came in and slapped them both upside the heads, "When will you two learn? You cannot beat each other. You never have and you never will. Now, get up and give your brother and his wife your chairs. I'm sure they are hungry."

"Thanks, Mom," I said as I kissed her cheek. The boys moved and I held the chair out for Steph. As she sat down, she smiled up at me and, for the first time in days, I smiled back at her and kissed her gently. "I love you," I whispered in her ear.

Sitting down next to her, Mom brought over some eggs, bacon, toast, potatoes, pancakes, and coffee. I swear Steph's eyes glazed over as she looked at the food. If I were a lesser man, I'd have been jealous of the way she was looking at the food.

Having her first bite of my mom's homemade food, I thought for sure Malcolm and Martin were going to bust the door to get out of there. The second the food hit my wife's tongue, the moans started. Chase and I were used to them, but the others weren't. I guess I forgot to warn them that the more she likes the food, the louder and longer the moans.

Mom stood there and beamed at my wife, "I like her," she said as she laughed. "She's not afraid to eat and express appreciation for food."

"That she is not," I agreed.

After breakfast was finished, Steph and I cleared the table. "Hey," she said as she bumped me with her hip, "I'll do the dishes, you go talk to your family."

I looked at her for a moment; I didn't want to talk to them, but knew she was right. It was time for me to let this go and that was the best way to do it. Hugging her, I kissed her forehead, and headed to the living room where the rest of the family was.

"Mom, guys… we need to talk," I said as they all looked up at me. Oh shit, this was going to be tough!