"Check on the car. Make sure it's good for the drive to Chicago, you hear?"
"Dad, please. It's Jackie you wanna be talking to, not me." Eric raised his hands up before him. "Some things, I still won't get, no matter how many years I spend in the wilderness."
Red snorted. "Right, well, get her to look it over before you take it out then."
"Yes, sir," Eric replied with a rare grin.
They piled into the Vista Cruiser early Friday evening for the two hour drive to Kelso and Brooke's for the long weekend. Jackie had pronounced the car good to go, as per Eric's request for a full check; being stranded halfway on the highway to Chicago was not his idea of fun.
Hyde called shotgun, so Donna, Fez and Jackie were stuck in the back together. The drive was relatively uneventful and they were in high spirits from simply being together again.
They arrived at Kelso and Brooke's just before dinner, and Kelso threw open the door to his and Brooke's apartment, welcoming them with open arms and a huge goofy grin on his face.
"Welcome! Welcome!" he shouted effusively and went around hugging them all individually. He came to Eric and gave him a particularly huge hug, and even wiped away a tear or two, proclaiming that he had missed his skinny buddy so very much.
Brooke was demure and elegant as usual, welcoming them in her own quiet and genuine way. She apologized for the lack of rooms, and showed them where they could all camp out on the living room floor.
They settled in, with Kelso rushing them to get ready for dinner "'cos he was freakin' starving" and there was this "awesome place he wanted to take them". And so within an hour they were all dressed and back out again, heading to dinner.
The cold and blustery night was a beautiful one, even if the stars above couldn't be seen — the brilliant lights of busy Chicago had caused them all to fade in the inky sky. One lone star peeked out.
The North Star probably, Jackie thought, seeing it shining brightly slightly to the left of the fullness of the moon. The wind blew, and Jackie shivered.
She looked beautiful tonight, her hair up in a low chignon and in a navy blue sheath that clung to her every curve. In true Jackie fashion, she had foregone a sensible coat, opting instead for a pearl grey bolero that she felt would do her outfit more justice, and was thus quivering and trying her best to hide it, in sub-zero temperatures at they walked down the street looking for the restaurant that Kelso had said was all the rage.
They were walking several paces behind the group, enjoying the quiet of the night and the joyous atmosphere. The shops still bore decorations from Christmas a week ago and were brightly lit and very merry.
Jackie had found herself trailing behind the boisterous group earlier, craving the quiet that she had grown to love in Africa and which she had grown used to, and it had followed her back to the States where she had lived by herself in her lonely mansion. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Eric had shortened his strides to match hers and from time to time, the laughter of their friends would float back over to them.
The wind blew again, cold and biting, and Jackie shivered some more. Eric glanced over and switched places with her, blocking off most of the wind. Without a word, he shrugged off his coat and put it over her shoulders. Warmth engulfed her and her teeth stopped their slight chattering. She clutched his coat around her gratefully and breathed in his scent. Wood and spice and earth. She could almost imagine them sitting outside their hut in Africa. She looked up at the sky. If only it would rain.
They continued walking and he stepped closer to her. Their shoulders touched and the back of his hand grazed hers. She itched to lace her fingers with his and was startled when he reached around and did just so. He raised it to his lips, and just like he did once in Africa, placed a tender and lingering kiss on the inside of her wrist.
She smiled in pleasure, and then it faded into a jittery sort of unease. Her eyes flicked over to the group in front of them and she snatched her hand back when she saw Fez turn his head around to look at them. He appeared confused at seeing them together, tilting his head to the side and frowning a little, but Kelso chose that moment to point something out to him, and he forgot about them in that instant.
She felt Eric stiffen next to her, and was too chicken to meet his eyes. She lowered her head and carefully folded her arms under his coat, and started counting the cracks along the pavement instead.
The wind picked up again, and some strands came loose from her updo and got caught in the gloss on her lips. She brushed it aside absently, and it left a shiny trail on her cheek.
Eric stopped her and his hand came up without a thought to cup her jaw, and he rubbed away the thin streak of gloss on her cheek with his thumb.
Her eyes involuntarily shifted forward again to see if any of their friends noticed.
A muscle twitched in his jaw.
"Quit it," he said tersely.
She nodded her head jerkily, and obeyed, forcing herself to relax as he continued with his ministrations. When he was satisfied and finally released her jaw, he tucked the loose strands behind her ear and slid his hand down to grasp hers again. She opened her mouth to protest, but snapped it shut when she saw the hard glint in his eye.
"Jackie, I really don't give a shit if anyone finds out about us."
His voice was hard and unyielding, but his touch was gentle when he lifted her chin to look into her eyes. They bored into hers.
She nodded her understanding. "Okay," she whispered, "I'll stop. I promise."
He leaned down and brushed her lips lightly with his. This time she manfully willed herself to relax, to enjoy the sweetness of his kiss, and not to look up to see if their friends had noticed.
"Thank you," he said.
Before long, Kelso gave a shout and pushed open the door to a cozy looking restaurant with its name carved into an ornate wooden signboard above it. Jackie and Eric followed the main group into the place, welcoming the rush of warmth that enveloped them.
They sat themselves around a large oval table and in honor of the occasion, ordered a staggering amount of food as well as several bottles of wine. The mood was festive and laughter flowed as easily as the wine, and Eric found himself relaxing more than he was used to. He glanced over at Jackie again, as he had been doing all evening, content to see the sparkle in her eyes and smile.
His thoughts drifted to their future, as it had been doing ever since he came back. It had cemented his feelings about her and to think about a future without her in it was so crushing that his breath left him for a moment.
He was brought back to the conversation going around the table when he heard Kelso exclaim.
"So, like, Jackie went to Africa?"
Kelso looked incredulous and swivelled his head to look between Jackie and Eric. "Seriously?"
Eric spared Kelso a patient smile while Jackie thought it best to just ignore him. But he wouldn't leave it alone.
"But, Gawd this is like so weird! Don't you hate each other or something?"
"Nope, apparently they're friends now," Donna interjected snidely.
Kelso frowned, as if finding the concept so hard to grasp it was giving him a headache. "How?"
Donna shrugged and took a swig of wine. This was a touchy topic for her.
"Y'know," Kelso said in his big dumb way, "the only time when two people stop hating each other is when they start sleeping together." He brightened. "Kinda like me and Laurie!"
The sudden silence was so thick it could be felt.
Kelso didn't seem to notice, garbling on about sexual chemistry and how opposites attract, "Like me and Brooke!"
Jackie had frozen in her seat, stunned by the randomness and accuracy of what Kelso (of all people) had observed. She prayed that no one had latched onto it, but with a sinking feeling realized that everyone at the table except Kelso (figures) were staring at both Eric and her.
She tried not to, afraid that by even looking at Eric, everyone would guess the truth on her face, but her eyes seem to have a will on its own and she found herself drawn to him and hoping he would deny the truth of the allegations.
Unlike Jackie, Eric however, didn't seem fazed. He knew her doe-eyes were pleading with him. He also knew that if he looked at her, he'll be somewhat inclined to give in.
So he didn't.
He was sick of the charade that he and Jackie were keeping up. If his friends couldn't accept them being together then so be it. To hell with them. It was their problem. He opened his mouth to answer.
"Y—,"
There was a sharp pain from his shin as Jackie swiftly kicked him under the table. He narrowed his eyes at her and she avoided his gaze, forcing out a shrill laugh.
"Me and Eric? Oh please. As if that can ever—"
He ignored her and looked back at the group. "As a matter of fact—" he started.
"Waiter! Waiter!" Jackie half-screamed, waving her arm frantically in the air to try and distract everyone from what Eric was going to say.
It didn't work. Everyone was hooked on to his every word. In that second, Jackie took in the scared, almost despairing look on Donna's face; she saw the way Steven's hands were clenched and his breathing quicken, and she knew that she couldn't let Eric do it. She couldn't do it to their friends, not now to Donna and not when Steven was already at such a low point in his life.
So she interrupted Eric with a tinkling laugh directed at the group.
"Yes, it was the funniest thing. Funny, funny really, that you would say that! You see, Eric and I er, we um, almost kissed!" The stress she placed on the 'almost' was so heavy it was comical, seeing that they had done far more than 'almost kiss'.
Eric nearly snorted.
"It was my first night there and I had a bit too much to drink and l..." She spun a tale of a blossoming friendship that was ludicrous to Eric's ears, all the while shooting him pleading looks and desperately hoping that he would understand and promised that she would make it up to him a thousand times over. Not yet, Eric. Her eyes implored him. Soon, but not yet.
Eric sat still as everyone around him laughed at the fantastic whopper of a tale that he was hearing for the first time in his life. He was tired of this. Tired of having to pander to everyone else's feelings. Tired of hiding his. Tired of pretending. Tired of sneaking around. Tired. Just tired.
Jackie noted the tense set of his shoulders. She knew she had hurt him. Again. And badly this time. He didn't react, and Eric may be all steel on the outside now, but his emotions had always run deep. When she ended her story, he got up, stone-faced, and threw a couple of bills on the table. Then turned around and left them all without a backward glance.
She fought the intense urge to go after him. Six pairs of eyes stared after him as he shrugged on his coat and walked out the door. Jackie wrestled between her loyalty to her friends and her feelings for him, but before she could come to a decision, Donna shoved her chair back and gave them all a slightly tipsy smile. "I'm just gonna go check on him."
This time, only Jackie's eyes followed her figure to the door, the turmoil inside her rising to a crescendo as she literally had to fight to maintain her composure. She supposed she should be thankful that everyone had had enough to drink that they didn't seem to be overly suspicious about Eric's sudden departure, but all she felt was guilt and the sick sense you get when you know you've done something very wrong. And now Donna had gone after him. Add jealousy to the sickening swirl pooling in her stomach and she felt like throwing up.
She made to get up and go after the both of them when Donna came right back in through the doors.
"He said he was gonna head on back first and told me to come back in," Donna said by way of explanation, but no one seem to notice what she said. She sat back down and reached for her glass, tossing back the rest of her drink.
Jackie's mood took a nosedive after Eric's departure. The night that had seemed so magical before now turned to ashes around her. She laughed perfunctorily and replied mechanically when talked to, but her mind was on Eric and she couldn't concentrate on anything around her. Finally, when she could take it no more, she nudged Kelso and told him that she was tired and would be heading back too. She was hoping to get a few minutes alone with Eric to explain herself, but that was shot down when Brooke gave a yawn and everyone else decided to call it a night as well.
Eric was not in the apartment when they all got back. He was still not in an hour later when everyone else had bedded down and were in varying stages of sleep.
The clock ticked by and Jackie lay wide awake from her spot on the floor. Her fingers were numb from twisting themselves into knots and she hadn't spoken a word since the gang had gotten back to the apartment, alternating between hating herself for hurting him and praying that he wasn't lying hurt in a ditch somewhere.
Had she not been listening so attentively for him, she would have missed the nearly soundless click of the front door and the quiet tread of his footsteps as he entered the apartment and disappeared somewhere.
She got up after a lengthy internal battle and went in search of him.
Pushing open the door to the open balcony, she saw him leaning with his forearms over the railing, the faint scent of cigarette smoke still lingering in the air. His dark hair was tousled and wind-blown, but he looked unaffected by the biting cold. Her heart turned over and she ached to hold him. She knew that he knew that she was there, but he kept his gaze on the apartment building across and didn't turn towards her.
She fought back a tremble, and took another step towards him.
She saw his shoulders lift and fall slightly as he blew out a large breath and finally acknowledged her.
"What, Jackie." His voice was low and void of emotion.
She didn't say anything but reached for his hand, pulling it free from where they were clasped in front of him. He allowed her to pull him back into the warmth of the apartment and made no protest as she led him into the laundry room and closed the door.
Moonlight streamed in from the double ventilation windows near the ceiling, casting the small space in pale light. Jackie turned to face him, holding her hand out but he didn't take it. He stood in the shadows near the door, unwilling to move further into the room.
She deserved it, she knew. She deserved that and more. She stared at the sharp planes of his face in the darkness; loving every feature, cherishing every line. Biting her lip, she reached up and took the pins out of her hair, shaking it loose and letting it fall in a heavy curtain down her back, just the way she knew he liked it.
He remained impassive.
She unzipped the dark blue sheath that she had worn that evening and let it fall to the floor. Then with trembling fingers peeled off the silk of her bra and panties. She stood naked and vulnerable before him and hesitantly took a step forward, and then another, to slide her hands up his arms. She felt his muscles bunch and she continued a path across the strong width of his chest, then laced her arms around his neck. She tugged his head gently forward, but he stood as stiff as a board, refusing to give her an inch. Without her heels on, she came up to just above the line of his shoulders and she rose on tip toe to press a row of sensual kisses into the line of his jaw.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she whispered. She pressed herself into him, needing this, needing him.
Only him.
He had never been able to resist her, and having been deprived of her for so long, he was fighting a losing battle and he knew it. With a defeated growl, he bent his head and captured her lips in a kiss that set her senses aflame. He slid his callused hands down her naked body and reached to cup her behind, before picking her up and hauling her flush against him. She rejoiced as she slid her legs under his jacket and wrapped them around his waist, and deepened the kiss to explore the dark confines of his mouth. She tasted the cigarette he had smoked earlier and something else that was pure him.
She wished that things were uncomplicated. That Donna and Steven would understand. That Eric would know that he meant so, so much to her. That she thought she would die when the time came for him to leave. Because she knew he would, because Africa was where Eric belonged to now. She had glimpsed the restlessness in his eyes, the craving for a vastness unfettered by four walls.
And when he did leave, Donna and Steven and Fez were all that she would be left with.
Because she had no one else.
But what existed was now, and now she desperately wanted to give Eric everything, to give all of her to him. She needed him to know. She needed him to know just how much he meant to her.
He carried her over to the washer and she sucked in a breath as the cold metal met the backs of her bare thighs. She soon forgot about it though, as he ran roughened palms over her most sensitive areas, and had her panting and desperate to touch him in return. She clawed at the buttons of his shirt, and he chuckled softly as she succeeded in ripping one off in her haste to feel his skin against hers. He lowered his head to take a breast in his mouth and she squeezed her thighs tightly around the hard planes of his stomach to fight against the swirl of sensations that he was eliciting with his tongue.
"Eric," she whimpered.
"Take it easy, I've got you." He felt the wetness of her on his skin, and his hand slid down her belly and between her thighs to rub a thumb against her. She came immediately, and he relished the feel of her pulsating under his hand and against his navel.
Unbuckling his pants, he let them fall as he straightened and entered her in one swift thrust. She gave a sharp cry at his sudden entry, and clutched at his forearms, wriggling slightly to accommodate him. He clenched his teeth against the wave of pleasure he felt at her movements, giving her time to adjust, then thanked the skies as she gave him a breathless nod and dug her heels into his buttocks to take him deeper within her.
And so he moved, slowly at first, then harder and faster until the washer beneath her was hitting the wall in an echo of his rhythm. She flattened her palms against the ridges of his washboard body and tightened her thighs around him as he reached under her to grasp her hips and pull them up hard towards him.
"Jackie, I'm gonna come." His voice was strained and he made to pull out but she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist. Surprise flared in his eyes as he gritted his teeth with the effort of holding himself back. "You on the pill?" he ground out.
She clung on to his shoulders and shook her head 'no', looking up at him with her heart in her eyes. She wanted to experience this with him, she wanted to feel all of him. "You won't get me pregnant this time of the month," she breathed out instead and bucked her hips towards him.
He groaned audibly and she felt him shake with strain. He started to protest again but stopped as he locked eyes with her. Hers were wild with need. For him.
She clenched her walls about him and all thoughts flew out of his head. A huge, selfish part of him really didn't care if he got her pregnant. He would marry her in a flash. Hell, he wanted her to be the mother of his children.
"Eric," she pleaded and shifted again, trying to draw him deeper into her, "please, baby, I need you."
He lost his inner battle and pulled back, before slamming hard into her. She whimpered with pleasure and he felt her nails dig into his back, panting in time to his thrusts.
She gasped as he slammed into her again, trying to mark her in the most primitive of ways. She met him thrust for thrust as he took them both to heaven before she collapsed, crying out his name. He covered her mouth with his and shuddered his release deep within her.
Their breaths mingled in the aftermath of their lovemaking and they remained that way for a long time before Eric finally pulled out of her. The moment he did, she wanted him back. He pulled up his pants and bent down next to where she was still lying spent. Unable to resist the lure of her silky skin in the moonlight, he cupped her breast and trailed his hand down her thigh. She looked at him with half-closed eyes, a sensual smile playing at her lips.
He leaned forward to kiss her, then closed his eyes and let his lips follow the path his hand took down her body, breathing in the smell of her skin. He pressed another kiss into the dark curls between her legs and felt around on the floor for her discarded panties. He shrugged out of his jacket, placing it around her shoulders and handed her panties to her. Leaning back against the cold wall, he watched as she put them back on.
"I love you, Jackie."
Her heart leaped, and for a moment her lips formed around words that her heart echoed. And then the moment passed. She swallowed.
"I know, Eric," she said softly instead.
He accepted her response stoically, although his insides were being torn to shreds.
A child started crying somewhere inside the house.
"Sounds like Betsy's up," Jackie said, sliding her arms through the sleeves of his jacket and tried to get the zip into the catch. Her hands were still unsteady from what they had just experienced together and he brushed them aside as he pushed off from the wall to fit it in and zip it up for her.
The door slid open suddenly and Brooke walked sleepily in.
She stopped abruptly as she looked at their clasped hands and frozen expressions. She took in the post-coital flush on Jackie's cheeks and her dress on the floor and murmured a soft, "Ah."
Jackie sprang to her feet as Eric pushed a hand through his hair.
"Brooke! It's not—"
Brooke lifted a hand to wave off her explanation. There was a small smile playing on her lips when she said, "So that's how the wind blows. I was wondering at all the tension between you two earlier."
"It's complicated, Brooke. With Steven and Donna and... everything."
Brooke nodded. "I won't say a word." She grabbed the plush toy she had come for and turned to leave but looked back at them over her shoulder. "For the record," she said hesitatingly, "I think you two make the most sense as a couple. I mean, Hyde and Donna both wanted different things from you. But you guys… You'll make it work. Michael and I did." She smiled again encouragingly and disappeared through the doorway.
They watched the door close behind her with different expressions on their faces.
Eric spoke first, his voice cutting through the heavy silence. "Is it really complicated Jackie? Because I've never been more sure about anything in my life."
She glimpsed a flash of bitterness as it flickered across his face and truly hated herself for causing him so much pain.
"It's just. It's too—"
"Complicated," he finished woodenly for her.
She nodded, and her hair shimmered in the dim light. She looked at him pleadingly and he cursed himself for being a fool for her. Staring up at the ceiling briefly, he ignored the wrench in his gut, reaching out instead to lay a finger against her cheek. He brought it down to trace the full outline of her lips and bent to brush them with his in a tender kiss.
Then he bowed down and picked up her bra and her dress, depositing them next to her on the washer, before leaving the room and closing the door quietly behind him.