Hi, it's been a while since I've had time to write any fanfictions, but I thought that I should write this – it is dedicated to the little Jack Russel dog that I used to dog-sit – she died last month, although she made it to 20 years, due to the amount of love, care, and attention she received (and probably because I gave her slightly too many treats than I should have) – she was a little dog with a huge personality, and is missed by many – this is dedicated to Tilly, the small dog with the huge heart.
Bundles of Memories
The two moons were shining brightly in the night-time sky, when Tyleet came to Cutter, looking unusually melancholy. "Bundles died earlier," she said quietly, "I think that last hunt was too much for his old heart."
Cutter put his arms around her in commiseration. The loss of a wolf friend was a pain that nearly all Wolfriders experienced, and was something that older Wolfriders had experienced many eights of times. Wolves, even Wolfrider wolves, who shared a small amount of elfin blood with their riders, had incredibly short lives, even compared to their wolf-blooded, elfin kin. But Bundles had been Tyleet's first wolf friend, the one that she had bonded with when they had both been cubs. That meant that the bond, and the loss, was especially hard. And Cutter knew that this was the first time that Tyleet had lost a loved friend.
"He was a fine wolf," Cutter said quietly, "we will howl for him."
The Howl – a cry of mourning, a cry even older than the Wolfriders themselves, was the way in which the Wolfriders expressed their feelings of grief and loss. And, once done, when the echo of the Howl had died away, they would, once more, be able to move forward with their lives, for the Wolfrider Tribe lived in the Now of Wolf Thought – a state of being completely in the moment, only vaguely aware of past or future, to be only vaguely aware of the trials and challenges that the next night would bring.
Yet, since Rayek had stolen his family away into the future, it had become harder and harder for Cutter to live in that blissful state. It was known by all Wolfriders that nothing could silence the power of Sending – nothing, that was, except for death. Yet Leetah, Skywise, and the twins were beyond Sending – sent into a future time, not dead, yet still dead to this time and moment.
And the grief had intensified as the years had passed, as had Cutter's desire to take his revenge on the one who had so mercilessly stolen his family away from him, with barely a thought of the consequences of his actions.
"I remember when my first wolf friend died," he told Tyleet quietly, for there were at least some advantages to being able to think about the past, and also being able to anticipate the future, "it's a special bond, the one shared by a wolf-cub and an elf-cub, where you grow into adulthood together. It hurts so much, when you lose a friend. But the pain will go away, in time." For death was a natural part of life on the World of Two Moons, a part of the changing of the seasons, of the cycle of green and red. Indeed, had Cutter's family been attacked and killed by a bear – well, the grief and pain would have been beyond words, perhaps more than he could bear – but there would have been no thought of taking revenge upon the bear, a creature just obeying its instincts and its will to survive, a hunter, not completely unlike the Wolfriders themselves. But the same could not be said regarding Rayek, for now Cutter was frequently thinking of taking revenge upon his rival – and those were thoughts that few Wolfriders had ever had before.
Not that life had been entirely unpleasant in the new land, in the time since his family had been spirited away to that far distant time, to a place where neither arrow nor Sending could reach. The Wolfriders shared everything, kept nothing to themselves, nothing except their secret Soul Names, which were only shared by their closest of kin. But there had been the joy of the Howl, the hunt, the joinings with his tribemates, especially with Tyleet's parents, Nightfall and Redlance, who had become his second family – never to replace the family that had been lost – but nevertheless able to provide at least some level of comfort, and allowing him, for the briefest of moments, to forget the pain in his heart, and his desire to take revenge out upon the one who had caused him so much heartache.
And it was safe in the new land – at least, in comparison to the Holt where he, Nightfall and Redlance had all been born. The humans left them alone – indeed, they did not know that they even existed. The humans hunted during the day, the Wolfriders hunted during the night. Cutter had thought that it was best for both Tribes this way – that the humans were neither friend nor enemy – for he had met humans in the past who had been both. There had been humans who had taken delight in hunting and murdering elves, believing that what they were doing was the will of their gods. Elves had no gods, but another group of humans had worshipped a Tribe of elves as if they were gods. And that group of elves, now mostly extinct, had kept humans as something akin to pets. Wolfriders had no pets, either – their wolf friends were respected as their equals, and it was accepted that the wolfpack had its own rules and hierarchies, which elves could not challenge – but they were nothing like the pet near-wolves that humans often kept. Yet, he was vaguely aware of the concept, since his Lifemate Leetah used to keep a sand-cat in her hut in the Sun Village of Sorrow's End, for the companionship and comfort that they could give to each other.
But either worshipped, or hunted, there had been no peace for elves. And so, Cutter had decided, it was best for all of those involved if they simply left the humans alone.
There were, however, other threats and dangers in the forest. There were wild creatures, tougher even than the wolves, creatures that would hunt and harm elves – but the Tribe was resilient, could think and act as one, even if their Healer had been spirited away to a far distant time.
And there had been the joy of new elfin life in the new land – Tyleet herself was the first elfin cub to be born there. Throughout the years of her childhood, Cutter had watched her playing with her closest agemate, Venka, had delighted in their games and laughter, until they had reached that Golden Afternoon of elfin maturity.
But now there were no elfin cubs to renew the Wolfrider Tribe. Throughout his childhood, there had always been elfin children – Nightfall and himself, then Scouter and Cutter's own cousin Dewshine, then Dart, the son of Moonshade and Strongbow, then the children of Woodlock and Rainsong, Newstar, Wing, and later Mender, as well as the stolen twins, Ember and Suntop, and later still Venka and Tyleet herself. But now, with the exception of his stolen children, they had all grown to adulthood, and there was no longer the sound of the laughter of elfin children, playing in the forest. Sometimes, in his darkest moments, Cutter had wondered if that was because of his own grief and desire for revenge, and his determination to count the turns of the seasons until he could finally be reunited with his lost family once more, in some far future time. Was this causing his Tribe to stagnate, just as the Tribe of the Gliders had done, leading, ultimately, to their destruction?
But there were more immediate concerns. Tyleet was still wrapped in his comforting embrace, but was now giving him an uncertain look.
He could do nothing, for the moment, about Rayek, or about his stolen family. But he could Howl for an elderly wolf that had just died – for the Howl was at least a constant, continuing, unchanged, throughout the turning of the seasons. "I was not much older than you," he said, "when I lost my first wolf-friend, Nightrunner. The pain and the grief hurt your heart right now, but they will fade, with time. The Howl should help to heal that pain."
Tyleet bowed her head, accepting the truth of his words.
Yes, her pain would heal – but Cutter nevertheless felt a rare pang of jealousy, at the knowledge that her pain would, in time, fade, as they dying light faded in the evening. For Tyleet was still able to live in that blissful state of the Now of Wolf Thought. As he hugged her, he wondered if he would ever be able to reach that state, ever again.
Perhaps he would – when, indeed, he would be finally reunited once more with his family.
And so, as the night wore on, and as the Howl for Bundles' passing echoed from the throats of elves and wolves alike, Cutter hoped that it would not be too long until Tyleet would get over her grief at losing her first wolf friend. And that, in time, he would, at long last, be reunited with his family once more, in a far future time that might, or might not, come to be.