Chapter 1: Before the Good Part
Alas! Spring had finally returned to the island! Going away were the Festivale decorations and confetti, and in there places were shrines and decorations for Mario Day. By now, all the snow had melted off the island and the trees were returning to their bushy, busty green selves.
Many of the residents we of the island saw this as the perfect opportunity to enjoy the beach. They came from every corner. Tents, blankets, and cigarette butts dotted the busy sand.
Marina arrived at the beach, wearing her trademark pink sweater that was almost the same color as her pink self. She came from her house on the Rocky coast on the opposite end of the island along with Patty her gal pal brown cow from the mountains. Each of Marina's tentacle arms was carrying a beach: one for her and one for Patty (since Patty had her arms full of cooler and a full beach bag).
"Wow Patty!" Marina exclaimed. "It's such a lovely day!"
"It certainly is!" Patty retorted. "How now!" Marina took in the view in front of her.
"It looks like all the cool people are is here," Marina observed. And she was almost right. The only ones not there were Isabelle, Tom, Tommy and Timmy, the Able sisters, and Punchy (who was recently rendered immobile after contracting food poisoning at Applebee's). Everyone else was too lame to go to the beach.
"Gosh Patty, don't you love how lovely today is?" Marina wondered aloud.
"We just went through this already," Patty patiently pointed out. They arrived on the cool sand, where Marina set up both the chairs, and the two girls took a seat.
Behind them, way up in the grass, was Zucker's Japanese-looking house. And in one of the front windows was Zucker himself, being a sad sack. The normally aloof octopus with pale skin, green freckles, permanent o-shaped mouth, brown hair that looked something like he was dipped in something, and a weird bamboo stick poking out of his head, could picture himself being on the beach hob-knobbing with the cool cats (or whatever the hell the kids these days say I dunno). But he was too nerdy to be on the beach today. The sign said so too. It was, like, at the other end of the beach, there was a big white wooden with painted red letters that said "NO LAME ASSES ON THIS HERE BEACH, YA DIG?"
"Man," Zucker said to himself, "this sucks." He was envious of everyone being able to have all the fun.
And she was there too. Marina. Soaking up the sun now in her bikini, next to her bovine bestie. Marina. Her wonder that graced the town square whenever she did her morning stretches. Marina. Her goddess voice whenever she sang along with her portable radio when she would walk in the forests in the north end. Marina. Her butter smooth tentacles gently picking up the Nook Inc Dildo that Nook's Cranny was selling, to get a closer look, but then she would always put it back, literally every damn time! Like, are you gonna buy it or just eye fuck it??? Make up your damn mind!
Oops! Sorry about that. Anywho...
As Zucker oogled over her, Marina took off her sweater to reveal a skimpy bikini covering her octotits and octopussy. She wielded her sweater around as the warm rays of the sun caressed her skin. Meanwhile, Patty playfully rolled her eyes at the spectacle and went back to looking through her Playnook magazine.
"Come join me in the water, Patty!" Marina excitedly suggested.
"I'll meet up with you in a bit," she responded, focused more on her magazine. She didn't even bother to watch her friend gayly stroll into the waves.
Zucker couldn't believe the show he just watched! And it was for free! If only his bug friends / roommates saw what Maria did. But they were too occupied with eating the crumbs from Zucker's tempura that he ate last night.
Marina reached the water, and slowly moseyed on in, maintaining a cowboy-with-hemorrhoids walking stance. It was very warm, and finally not because Hippeux peed in it. It was a natural warmth, an inviting one. She slowly sank into the wavy waters until only her head was above the surface. Such relaxation sent tingly feelings up her appendages. She closed her eyes as the bliss set in.
Zucker found it impossible to think of anything else. But he turned his eyes toward the other end of a beach for a second and noticed someone approaching...
Chapter 2: The Good Part
He stood where the grass met the sand, under the shadow of the big white sign. Then, his bear legs crossed over the boundary and traversed onto the beach. Everyone that he passed by turned their noggins in disgust to see who the fuck this dummy thought he was to crash their beach party.
His tacky yellow and black tiger stripe mumu. His stupid thick-rimmed glasses. His stubbles face that looked like a spectacled caveman in blackface. It was none other than...
"Hey Barold!" Peewee the bodybuilding gorilla yelled. "Didn't you read the sign!? Get your lame ass off the beach!"
"Barold," he responded. Peewee took great umbrage to that.
Zucker watched from his window as a handful of beach-going villagers held back Peewee from trying to pummel the bear.
"Barold! What are you doing!?" Zucker said to himself. "Get out of there! Don't you know what's good for you?" He said it not as an angry chad but rather as a nervous Nancy.
Barold toddled on over and stopped next to Patty, who was overtaken by fear and discomfort. He plopped his ass right on to the sand next to the chairs, prompting Patty to roll up her magazine, tank up her now-folded beach chair, and head for the hills.
Marina was happily splashing around in the water, but then noticed her friend ditching her. She became sad, thinking it was because she had a beef with her for deciding against packing that gross potato salad before they left for the beach trip. She began to cry, mixing the ocean's salt water with her's.
Barold just sat there like one of those blind people who just don't give a fuck. Marina saw him and grew angry.
"Barold! What the fuck!?" she hollered.
"Barold," he responded. The nerve on this guy! How could he say something so callous?
Catching everyone off guard, the earth started to shake. Everyone grew tense with fear as to what to expect. Behind Marina, a massive splash of water shot into the sky with a loud tremble. The spray of water sprinkled down upon gigantic leaves of seaweed jutting up from the water. With the spray trickling down, there stood a gigantic ball of overgrown seaweed, with lobster clawed arms sticking out of it. Holding up the seaweed ball monster was a pair of monstrous, gorgeously-sculpted man legs, green like the leaves above them.
Upon the sight of the monstrosity, everyone scattered for their lives, except Barold, because he was too stupid AND ignorant to process the danger nearby. The thing let out a mighty roar that could be throughout the entire southern half of the island (at the town hall, Isabelle's glass of brandy shattered all over her desk, much to her chagrin).
As the seaweed monster bent over to the sand (arching over a terrified Marina) Zucker rushed out the door and toward the beach, safety be damned. He was frightened that harm would come to the pink octopus. Instead, the seaweed asshole plucked Ken from the sand and launched the samurai rooster into the distance. The throw landed him hard into a river where CJ the beaver was fishing at.
"Here fishy fishy," the beaver chuckled like a child predator at a Wiggles relief concert.
Zucker was taken aback in awe, but then snapped out of it to continue charging at the monster. He saw Marina wading fast away from the kaiju. But it was too late. The thing grabbed Marina with its big dumb claw and lifted her out of the water. She screamed in horror as she was being lifted up to I guess where it's face was. And now it snipped off Marina's bikini top, revealing her big bouncy boobies, that shined in the sun and glistened in the drops of water that rolled down them.
"What the fuck, perv!?" She shouted at the seaweed monster. But the monster could only respond by turning in different angles to get a better look.
Zucker watched in awe as the big honking milkers jiggled with every turn, but then he nodded the ADHD right out of his thick head.
"Put her down, you ass bag!" He demanded of the monster.
"RAGHARAARRRRRGH!!!" It roared back at the startled he octopus. Zucker reached the water where he waded up to the giant green legs of the monster. He immediately punched it, and the leg immediately kicked him out of the water. The airborne octopus honked when he landed on sand, which normally doesn't happen when an octopus hits the sand.
Barold sat there, staring dumbly at Zucker, who was slowly getting back up. He looked at the idiot bear, then at the wooden sign further down the beach. An idea dinged in his head! While the monster was busy snipping off Marina's bikini bottom Zucker destroyed the sign and ran back to Barold with one of the wood posts. He then ripped Barold's tunic right off him.
"Barold!" He shouted, pretending to know what shame was. Zucker punched the bear, rendering him unconscious. Then, with the tunic, he tied the bear up to the pole.
"I'll use this thick dummy as a beating stick!" Zucker said to himself.
As Zucker was picking up the stick with the Barold tied to it, the Pervy monster became distracted by a motorboat being driven by the drunk seafaring turtle they call Kapp'n. He zigzagged and swerved his boat every which way, as if it were a silly homosexual. The boat caused for the sea monster to kick up its legs in annoyance, trying to maintain balance. With one of its legs held up, the boat thunked into the other. The monster was going down. He dropped Marina while he tumbled.
The ground shook as the monster hit terra firma. Zucker vibrated from the impact then gathered his bearings. He picked up the Barold-on-a-stick and charged at the downed giant. It was thanks to someone's discarded bucket that Zucker tripped while going full speed and launched the Barold-on-a-Stick into the air like a javelin. He made a direct hit onto the monster.
As Zucker lifted his face from the sand from the sand he heard the monster let out a quick Yelp, then went silent. He opened his eyes and saw the monster lying with his back arched downward and his clawed arms pushing up his shoulders. He noticed the stick stick right into the monster, yet it was not dead. Maybe it was stunned? The plank was sticking out just north of the legs, where Zucker thought it's heart was. The octopus rushed up to the plank and saw only Barold's feet and the bottom of the plank, while the rest of them were submerged into the monster's cavity. Zucker tugged at the plank, slowly pulling Barold out. But as he did so, the monster let out a long, satisfied moan. Zucker was confused. This must not be the heart then. This must be... THE BUTTHOLE!!! Zucker slowly drove the Barold and plank back in, making a slooooop noise. The monster moaned again. Then out. Then in. Then out.
Zucker kept churning the monster's fudge factory, which made the monster moan louder and the pitch grow higher. Everyone around them stopped running and were in awe of what was going on. Marina stood in the water, not sure if she should be inspired or disgusted by the sight (she was thankful though, at least she was thankful). The Barold dildo was doing a number on the pleasure hole, but Zucker's tentacles were starting to get tired. Fortunately the giant seaweed kaiju was nearing to achieve nirvana. Suddenly Zucker stopped plunging, but that caused the thing to give a drawn scream. It's body started rumbling in places it doesn't normally do that. Zucker jumped ship and ran toward Marina.
POP!!!! The entire creature exploded into a cloud of seaweed and... rainbow party confetti. Everyone winced at the loudness of the pop, then stood back up the now cloud of cumfetti start to scatter everywhere. It was beautiful, but also gross. It looked like everyone was able to cancel out the grossness of it as they walked back toward the beach. The monster pieces were soon picked up by the wind and scattered everywhere, across the island and the ocean.
"Look!" shouted Peewee. "Zucker killed the monster!" Everyone hoorayed like it was 12:00 on New Years and rushed over to congratulate the hero octopus.
"Aw, you guys," Zucker gushed as he was being cheered on by the townsfolk.
"Zucker, you did it!" Marina ecstatically proclaimed. "You saved us all!"
"I... I did?" He asked. I mean, yeah, he did. What, he didn't realize it earlier or something?
"You sure did!" She responded, embracing the awkwardopus with six of her eight tentacles. He immediately became lovestruck. The pink one then tossed the tan one onto the sand where the waves break.
Chapter 3: After the Good Part, But it Still Could Be Good, I Guess
Marina approached Zucker, lying on the beach. She looked down at him, with her skin glistening in the sky, whose sun was already starting to set. Zucker looked up to Marina and the heavenly glow surrounding her figure, like the Virgin Mary looking down at here baby Jeebus after saving the world from Satan. Marina took some of Zucker's tentacles are her tips around his.
"We are so doing it now!" She let the awestruck octopus know. Zucker nestled into the sand like a pregnant mama turtle, while Marina lay herself on top of him. They fondled and goosed with each other with all of their appendages and also kissed deeply. The villagers gathered around them as the two octopi formed one.
"Woo! They're having sex now!" shouted Marshall, the white squirrel. Everyone cheered on the duo. Patty pulled out a tiny "Go Marina!" Flag and waved it as everyone watched them do the tentacle tango.
Now it was getting really steamy. "I'm gonna blow!" Shouted Marina. "Me too!" Responded Zucker. And blow they did. They both shot each other with ink until they were rolling around in an inky mosh pit. They both let go and began calming down. Zucker couldn't believe it! He saved the island, killed a monster AND got the girl of dreams covered in his ink? He was indeed a boner fide cool dude. And Marina. She got to have a fun beach day, spent quality time with friends, AND do it with the local hero? She was most definitely a gucci gal. It was a great day for everyone.
The End.