Kay so this is based during szn 1 episode 11. or 12. ion know but it's somewhere in that range. R&R! and give me some new story ideas,, i would love to hear from you guys!

The sound of the gunshot still rang in her ears. The blood, the screams, the stillness. It all replayed in her mind over and over again.

She could still see the unbothered look in Campbell's. He didn't care. He didn't give a fuck about what he's done. He was so nonchalant about murdering her. But hey, as long as it's a mutant it's fine, right?

Clarice closed her as she attempted to shake the memory from her head. She should be trying to get some rest. She can't keep dwelling on what they had lost or she would drown in the pain.

A knock was heard on the wall next to the curtain that she uses as her privacy shield from the rest of the Underground.

"Can I come in?" John's voice came from behind the makeshift door.

John

She didn't even know if she could face him. She had lost so much before. But now he lost someone that he once loved in a way that she longed for him to love her. And she was there. But was unable to do anything. She felt so helpless. Useless.

Having to look John in the eye after she witnessed someone he cared for deeply die...she got nauseous at the thought.

"Uh. Sure." She spoke reluctantly.

John pulled the curtain aside to make room for his entrance. He sat down next to her on her bed. They remained silent for God knows how long before he said anything.

"How are you?"

She let out a bitter laugh at the stupid question. "I'm doing great. Really living on cloud 9 over here."

"Clarice."

Ugh. She hated when he said her name like that. Like he was concerned for her. His tone forced her to look up at him.

"I'm here for you. You don't have to put up that front, okay? If you need to talk, i'm here."

Why was he so annoyingly kind? Why isn't he angry at her? Angry at the world? How can he be so fucking tranquil about this?

"What is wrong with you?" The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them.

He gave her a look of confusion which she opted to ignore as she kept going. "Why are you so fucking calm? Didn't you hear the news? Sonia's dead." John noticeably flinched at that. "Campbell shot her, John. In the chest. With zero hesitation. And you're okay with that?" Her voice rose as her anger flared.

"Of course I'm not okay with that," John responded quickly through clenched teeth, keeping his voice low and calm.

"Then show it!" She got up from her spot on the bed and stood in front of him. His gaze was hard as he stared at her stiffly. "Be mad. Be furious. I don't get how you're not angry at everything. How you're not angry at Campbell or me."

John's brows furrowed. Now he gets it. She's blaming herself. He would know. He irrationally blames himself for things that are out of his control all the time.

His eyes softened. "Clarice—"

Her eyes welled with tears as she looked away and stepped back when he reached for her. "I was there. I watched her…" She trailed off. "I could've stopped it from happening. I should've done something. And then maybe she would still be—"

"No." John stood from the bed and made his way over to her. "Don't do that to yourself. Don't let the grief take over. There was nothing you, or I, or Lauren and Andy could've done." He placed a hand on her cheek.

She flinched at his touch but then immediately melted into it. She tried but was unsuccessful at keeping them at bay. "But—"

"It's not your fault Clarice. Don't make yourself think it is."

She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. "I don't understand...you're so moral. Even after everything that's happened. How do you do it? How do you not want to just march over there and break everything?"

"I've found that anger can make people think irrationally. If we want to win the fight, we have to be smart and not be blinded by the pain." He let out a laugh similar to the one Clarice did earlier. "Trust me, right now, the only thing that's keeping me the least bit sane is everyone here. Sonia...will always be remembered and loved. She died for our cause." His eyes flashed with determination and what Clarice would describe as a bit of anger. "And I'm going to make sure I honor her death by continuing to fight smarter and harder."

Clarice looked down, somewhat embarrassed from the vulnerability she'd shown by crying. But also from deep regret. "I...I'm sorry. I wish it wasn't like this. I wish you didn't have to lose so much."

"Hey," John places a finger under her chin, forcing her to look at him once more. "Instead of focusing on what I've lost, I focus on what I have."

The breath almost got taken away from her by the way he was staring at her. "I have Marcos, Lorna, Sage, Shatter, Zingo." Clarice smiled at the dog's name. "You."

Her eyes almost bulged out her head.

"I'll miss Sonia. So much." His voice threatened to break. "But she's not my only family. You guys are my family."

John stepped back and Clarice instantly longed for the closeness again. He didn't give her a chance to speak before he made his way back to the curtain. He stopped before exiting and turned back.

"Rest up, alright?"

Words failed her but the purple-haired mutant managed to nod at his words. She watched him leave and despite the recent events, a small smile graced her face as she made her way to her bed and laid down with the hope of sleeping through the nightmares that were bound to come during the night.

Aight so kind of a bad ending I'll admit but i kinda liked this. I didn't proofread, as usual. CALL ME OUT ON ANY MISTAKES! Review plz!