Chapter 7: How Dare you?
Lucius's pov, still
Our eyes widen in realization of what I had said. He sits up. "You...you were thinking of her, weren't you?" He whispers, sounding shocked, as if I had stabbed him in the heart. I respond quickly. "No. No I wasn't." The truth is, I was thinking of her while we were making love, almost the entire time, actually. But that doesn't mean I have to tell him. He leans closer to me, staring into my eyes. "Liar." He hisses spitefully. "Okay, maybe I was, but I wasn't doing it on purpose! You have to understand, Sev, please." I snap, feebly pleading my case he puts his hand to his face and begins to rub his forehead. "I thought you were over her." He mutters. "How could I.. how could I have trusted you?" A tear runs down his face as he speaks. "You know too much about me, now, because I couldn't keep my sentimental little mouth shut. I should have just closed off my emotions like I always do. When I express them, well, this happens, doesn't it?" He clasps his face in both his hands. "I'm trying, Severus! I really am!" I say, almost sobbing along with him. "Then why are you thinking of her? Especially when we're making love! How dare you." He growls. "How dare you, Lucius?" I wrap my arms around him. "I didn't do it on purpose. Ive only ever...well, I haven't slept with anyone but her." He looks at me seriously. "And i've never slept with anyone in the first place." He responds. Really? He would...give me his virginity? I wonder why he hadn't told me, I know I wouldn't have minded. Perhaps he was embarrassed... a pang of guilt stabs through me. "God...I really am the worst, huh." I whisper. "For what its worth, i'm sorry. I honestly am." I clutch him even tighter. Snape groans. "That's the thing. I can't leave you, no matter how mad I am. No natter how brutally you fuck up. Because I can't help loving you." He seems mad at himself for feeling this way as he says it. "Abandoning true love.. it can't end well." He looks off into the distance, possibly too uncomfortable to look at me. "I can't apologize enough, Severus. I hope you know that I mean it." He nods. "Are you even trying to move on?" The answer doesn't take any thought. "Of course I am. I need to be strong for my family. And for you, Severus." He snarls. "And where was all this chivalry when you were thinking of her while we were in bed?" I wrap my arms around his neck from the side. They rest at his other shoulder. "I didn't do it on purpose, Sev, I can promise you that." He nods. "But you're still in love with her." His words pierce me like a dagger, slowly sliding into my heart. "No...no, Sev, i'm trying, please don't leave me, i'm sorry." My emotions pour out of me like a faucet as I beg. He laughs a bit between his sobs. "I didn't think a Malfoy like you would ever beg." I blink, attempting to break up my sea of tears. "I would, for you." I grab his hand. Instead of shaking it off, telling me to let go, he clutches it tightly. "This is..unlike you. Do you really love me that much, Lucius?" He asks. "Absolutely." I respond, with conviction. He looks into my eyes with his piercing glare. "If you truly love me, then get over her first." He instructs. I nod. "Anything you say. I would do anything, absolutely anything, for you." I respond. He looks away from me, off into the distance. "I thought you had.. I actually believed you were mature enough to move on. Were you only trying to get into my pants the entire time?" I stop, frozen. Was I? No, ive made improvement, i've definitely been trying. It wasn't only for his sake, either. I'm doing this for me and Draco. The two people that cone first in my life. Maybe I could add Severus to that list... "No, Severus. You know why i'm doing this. I've told you." He nods. "And you're trying, you're improving?" He asks. "Yes." I respond, absolutely sure of the answer. "Absolutely. That's what I've been trying to say." He nods. "I don't think you're lying." He whispers. My heart leaps with hope. "Could you forgive me?" I ask. My heart slowly plummets, hearing his complete silence. He sighs. "Yes." I fling my arms around him. "But that doesn't mean you didn't hurt me." He continues. "I let myself be vulnerable. Emotionally and physically. And you go and... I thought you were.." despite him almost always speaking his mind, and almost always being able to say just the right things, he stutters and mixes up his sentence. This worries me greatly. I'm not sure how to comfort him anymore. I look into his eyes. He looks into mine. And in that instance, I know what to do. I lean forward, closing my eyes, and carress his lips in mine. I hope this is saying what I want it to say. That i'm remorseful. That I truly love him and how desperately I need him. Expressing feelings that words cannot. A tear runs down his face. He slides his hand into my hair and pulls me closer. I allow him to. I wonder where my boundaries lie. Truthfully, I would let him do anything to me that doesn't violate his. My knight in shining black armor. My prince. He pulls away. "I.. believe that settles it well enough. If you'll excuse me, I am extraordinarily exausted." I stop him before he gets up. "Why don't you sleep here?" He smirks and nods. "You just never want me to leave, hm?" I nod. Honestly, that is how I feel. Why deny it? He climbs into bed behind me and wraps his arm around my waist lovingly. His body gives off a fair amount of warmth. I drift off into comfortable sleep, next to him.
Note: should I write another chapter? Let me know in the comments! This is a good conclusion, in my opinion, but I know there's still loose ends to tie up.