"Explain it to me again – why do we need to pretend to be married?"
Kakashi-sensei's eyes curved into happy half-circles. Hinata shot him a betrayed look.
"Hinata, it's all a part of the mission – "
She seriously doubted that.
"As I explained, there have been some death threats made against Naruto…"
"Kakashi-sensei, wouldn't that necessitate a bodyguard, not a spouse?" She willed her voice to be even, her face not to flame up. It actually worked. Hinata started at how professional she sounded.
"We need you to figure out who's been sending the threats. We have some suspicions regarding a group of Kiri missing-nin…"
"Kakashi-sensei, this isn't making much sense to me. I don't think I can accept this mission."
Kakashi-sensei's eyes wilted. He sighed deeply, dejectedly, like something horrible had happened. Tonton oinked in agreement.
Hinata missed Tsunade-sama.
"Very well, Hinata. If you don't want to do this, you don't have to."
She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
"I'll assign the rest of the Konoha 11 to act as his harem instead."
Hinata blinked.
"Of course, I'll have to train Lee-kun to act appropriately. And Kiba. And Shino. And Ino. And Shikamaru. And Chouji. And Tenten. And – "
Hinata blinked again.
Kakashi-sensei, what the –
He went on and on, about how he'd have to tell Sakura not to punch Naruto in the face, how Shikamaru shouldn't tell people that being in a harem was troublesome, how Neji should learn how behave kindly towards his friends in the harem.
It was awful. So awful.
"It'll be annoying, of course, but I can't have anyone making death threats against my cute little student – "
"I accept the mission."
The words tumbled out of her mouth in a split-second before she could stop them.
This was awful.
"You will?"
Kakashi-sensei's eyes were sparkling like someone had sprinkled gold dust into them.
"Yes. You don't have to assign a fake harem for Naruto-kun."
She was still shocked at how professional she sounded.
This was awful.
Kakashi-sensei beamed. "Wonderful! I'll see you and Naruto tomorrow at seven in the morning! Happy holidays! I mean, happy mission!" He giggled and innocently hid his face behind his Icha Icha book.
Hinata really missed Tsunade-sama.
A/N: For the prompt "Explain it to me again – why do we need to pretend to be married?" Set after the war with alive Neji. I based this off the scenes in Ninja Storm where Kakashi and Sakura are constantly scheming to put Naruto and Hinata on missions together.