Note: italicized portion for this chapter is from S/mileage's "Samui ne." translation is from colorcodedlyrics. I would have used "Hitoribocchi no Snow" from the Lilium Shoujo Junketsu Kageki musical, but it didn't fit with the changes I made. Also, another OC, but his name isn't important, and his role is rather small.
IMPORTANT NOTE: So, remember how Nathanael was picking up a package in chapter 6 when that stuff with Marinette, Nino, and Felix happened?
The Forget-Me-Not Chapter 9: Isn't it Cold?
I blamed the dreams I wanted to fulfill for this reality that stole my freedom, but I can't go back anymore and I can't do anything but clench my teeth.
I wanted you to hear these secrets I haven't told anyone, but the words are stuck in my throat and I'm afraid you'll hate me.
You won't ask for the reason for my tears or my sighs, will you?
But it's okay, so just stay by my side
Isn't it cold? I'm alone again today, and it's so cold.
Isn't it cold?
Nathanael sat in his room. It was dimly lit, plain, and not decorated at all… unlike the rooms of other akuma patients. The only thing that differentiated his room from someone else's was the black and white striped curtains that covered the windows, preventing what little outside light could've come in from entering.
It was mildly humid in his room, but Nathanael was shivering.
He was staring in a numb horror at the opened package on the ground in front of him.
Nathanael, as an akumatized half-breed, was dangerous. He in particular was hated by others so much because they feared his power, which was the ability to draw things into existence and erase other things from existence.
It was quite evident that it was more powerful than the powers of most of the other akumatized half-breeds. For example, Alix's power was (mostly) useless without the roller skates that she could only summon in her akuma form.
Moreover, most of the other half-breeds at the asylum were only around 5% to 15% akuma before they were turned. But, in comparison to Alix's 16% and Felix's 10%, Nathanael had been 28%. Not only was his superpower more powerful than the other half-breeds, he was fundamentally more dangerous than them.
That made for a horrifying combination.
What if the meds weren't powerful enough for Nathanael, the most dangerous half-breed, and his powers were unleashed on the asylum? Pandemonium.
This was what was on the minds of everyone that bullied him, in addition to discrimination for just being a half-breed.
Most half-breeds at the asylum feared their powers and took extra measures to suppress them like taking more medicine than needed to suppress them or wearing thick gloves in Alix's case.
Nathanael had sacrificed drawing in fear that he would harm others like he harmed his mother. The one drawing he'd done since coming to the asylum had been done with sauce on a napkin for Marinette to use as a reference to design his shirt. He hadn't drawn anything since, and vowed to never do so again.
But unlike other half-breeds, who embraced the extra medicine for the sake of hiding their identities as akumatized half-breeds, Nathanael hated the extra medicine. Mostly because he hated needles, and dreaded the time after meals when he'd have to receive the extra medicine from those dreaded needles.
But it'd be too dangerous for Nathanael to go without it, so he hadn't questioned it, and hadn't complained.
Even so, Nathanael secretly wished that there'd be a way for him to not have to take the extra medicine, but was too afraid to go through with skipping it. There were too many consequences.
But then that package had come in the mail.
Nathanael had ordered paints and a sponge so he could sponge-paint his wall. He was getting too antsy, and needed to do something artsy to channel it. But, Nathanael had been too scared to get a brush or other drawing materials in fear of a possible leak of his power. So, he'd decided on sponge painting instead.
But what was actually delivered to him wasn't the paints at all. He'd gotten a package with a vial of some sort of liquid medication instead.
Nathanael lost count of the amount of times he'd checked the label on the box, but there was no doubt that it was his. Nino would've said something otherwise.
Everything written on the box besides his own name was in a different language, which was Italian according to his neighbor. Despite this, the vial itself was labelled in Chinese, which neither Nathanael nor his neighbor understood.
This vial was terrifying him.
Who sent it? Why didn't he get his paint? Moreover, what did the Chinese on the vial say?
What if it was poison? What if it negated the effects of the asylum's medicine? What if it heightened his negative emotions? What if it heightened his powers? What if it worsened his insomnia or his anxiety?
Or… what if it would help suppress his powers?
He couldn't answer any of the questions, but he could find someone that knew Chinese who could.
Felix knew Chinese, but when Nathanael had passed by him with the vial in hand, the blonde prefect had seemed alarmed that he had it, and Nathanael had hidden it in a panic. He couldn't risk it, what if Felix got mad?
Nathanael would have to ask around for someone else that knew Chinese, but that meant facing the bullies.
With shaking hands, Nathanael reached out for the vial and finally moved to stand up and leave the room. Peeking out his door, he didn't know whether to cry from relief or terror when he saw that there was someone walking through the hallway.
This akuma appeared to be older, and his hair was dark, long, and straight, but his skin was a golden yellow. His clothes were standard for the asylum. He was evidently on a delivery job for the ordering office due to the two boxes he carried. This actually worked in Nathanael's favor, he could have a chance to ask the guy about the mix-up without the guy possibly getting upset like Felix.
Nathanael had hope that this guy could possibly know Chinese and not turn him away, small hope, but hope nonetheless.
Nathanael, shivering, approached this guy, who stopped in his tracks and flinched like how most people did upon seeing him. Nathanael deflated a bit, but then sighed and decided to ask him anyway, he was used to this kind of response by now.
"Uh, do you know how to read Chinese?" Nathanael asked the guy hesitantly.
"Yeah, why do you ask?" the guy replied casually, wary of Nathanael. His eyes, however, caught sight of the vial in Nathanael's shaking hands and, alarmed, he asked, "Wait, what is that?"
Nathanael was shaking from anxiety as he stuttered, "Um, uh, there was a mix up? I ordered paints and I got this-this thing instead. I-I don't know what it is, I can't read the labels."
The guy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, but held out his hand for Nathanael to place the vial in and said, "Here, give it to me, I'll see what it says." As Nathanael dropped the vial in the guy's hand, careful not to touch him, the guy muttered under his breath, "I'm going to have to talk to the ordering office about this mix-up."
Nathanael watched nervously as the guy's eyes widened in alarm as he read the label on the vial. The guy turned the vial a few times to read everything on the labels and make sure he got it right. Nathanael was regretting the decision to ask, the guy seemed even more alarmed by the vial than Felix was.
The guy then asked sharply, "Do you still have the box? What's the return address? I'll have to see which one of our suppliers sent this."
Nathanael shrugged hopelessly with quivering shoulders as he replied, "I-I don't know. It was in Italian, and my neighbor didn't recognize the address."
The guy cursed under his breath and muttered, "Italian? Of course he didn't recognize the address."
Nathanael asked tentatively, "Uh, can I ask what it says?"
The guy looked up sharply, seemingly taken off guard with the question, and clicked his tongue with irritation as he searched his mind for something to tell Nathanael.
The redhead had a feeling that he wouldn't be given the full truth as he nervously watched the guy think whilst staring at the vial.
Just what was it?
The guy finally sighed and clasped his left hand around the vial and looked over at Nathanael as he said, "It's, uh, prescription medicine for insomnia. This particular one has a lot of, uh, dangerous side effects. It's definitely not safe for you to take. I'll have to bring this back to the mess hall and tell the prefects about it."
Nathanael didn't even care that he was being blatantly lied to. The fact that the guy panicked at all just meant that whatever was in the vial was bad.
But, he caught what the guy said about telling Felix and the other prefects, and quickly blurted out in a panic, "No!" He deflated when the guy sent him a questioning look, and Nathanael curled inwards as he added, "Uh, I mean, don't tell the prefects. They'll start questioning me."
The guy with elegant, flowing dark hair sighed, before holding the vial out to Nathanael and saying in a warning and threatening tone, "Whatever, just don't tell anyone about this, and don't touch it. I mean it, it's dangerous. Just put it back inside the box and hide it somewhere. And, if anyone asks, I wasn't involved, okay?"
Nathanael quickly nodded, taking the vial, already wanting to crawl up somewhere and hide. What the guy just said actually reminded Nathanael of the things people would say to him, "Don't touch him. He's dangerous. He should just go hide somewhere. Put it back where it belongs. We're not getting involved with him."
The guy briefly nodded his head in a half-assed bow and said, "Alright, see you later. And don't open that vial."
Nathanael nodded, shivering as he retreated back into his room. He walked over to where he had put the packaging, and picked up the box, about to put the vial back inside when his curiosity got the better of him.
Nathanael gazed over the Chinese characters decorating the vial one more time, taking note of the three large ones at the front, "解毒剂."
He had no idea what they meant.
But the guy had.
Nathanael couldn't bring himself to put the vial back inside the box, and he shook violently with anxiety. Was it actually medication for insomnia? If so, he could actually use some, he'd been having trouble sleeping.
But what if it was a lie? What if it was actually more dangerous?
Or, what if it was less dangerous?
Nathanael shivered as he set the box down, and shakily placed his hands on the vial as if to open it.
One little sip wouldn't hurt, right?
Marinette groaned in frustration from where she sat in the chairs of the recreation center lobby.
She was getting zero progress in where Mylene was, and what happened to her.
All Marinette really knew for sure was that she had existed, but that was it.
Marinette had considered going back to check the notebook again, and maybe the rest of the box for more clues, but the office always seemed to be occupied with prefects.
There was no chance Marinette would be allowed to go back in there again, and the rest of the mess hall wouldn't have clues.
Her best bet would be to ask one of the prefects themselves, but Felix, Rose, and Juleka were too intimidating, and Marinette wasn't sure that they would tell her anything other than, "Mylene doesn't exist" if she asked.
That left Nino, but the aspiring DJ was being much too elusive nowadays, always sticking to the little children.
Marinette sank back against her chair and lazily turned her head over to where Alya sat beside her, writing in a notebook, and asked with a groan, "Alyaaaaaa can you please be more supportive and help me out? I'm stuck, and you're much better than me at investigating stuff!"
Alya shook her head, and didn't even look over at Marinette as she said disapprovingly, "Nope, you're on your own. Investigating this is bad news, and I am not getting involved."
Marinette sighed and said, "I just need to find Nino... I'm sure he knows something!"
Alya shook her head and said, "Well, you're out of luck. He's been sticking to those little kids like glue, he's even been avoiding me lately."
Mariette groaned again at her rotten luck and sunk further down her seat.
Just then, however, her eyes caught sight of a blue shirt and a red hat, and Marinette nearly squealed as she stood up in a flash and raced over to Nino as he passed through the recreation center.
Of course he would only show up when Marinette was about to give up. Things had a strange way of working out like that.
Marinette skidded to a stop in front of Nino and spread out her arms in to block his way as she exclaimed, "Nino! I need to talk to you."
Nino groaned in disdain and said, "Marinette, seriously, I'm busy. Maybe some other time."
Marinette shook her head, finally fed up with not knowing the truth, and replied, "No way! I've been looking for you for ages, and I need you to tell me where Mylene is and why she's not here."
Nino exhaled in a long sigh, and rubbed his forehead, evidently weary from Marinette's pestering. He glanced over at Alya, who was watching the scene with a scrutinizing gaze that made Nino want to escape even more.
Marinette was the only one who was in denial of the fact that the search for Mylene was pointless.
The pigtailed girl raised an eyebrow and asked, expecting a response from Nino, "Well? Are you gonna talk?"
Nino finally looked back over at Marinette and replied in an attempt to casually placate Marinette, "Look, I'm not gonna make a scene, and there's really no reason for you to talk to me. Back off, okay? It's for your own good."
Nino then stepped around Marinette and made for the stairs without a single glance back. Marinette squeaked, and, not ready to drop the topic, rushed over to catch up to Nino.
She managed to skid to a stop in front of Nino and prevent him from going up the stairs. Panting from her race to the stairwell door, she said resolutely, "I know Mylene exists for sure, just tell me what happened to her! Where is she? Why isn't she here anymore? You have the answers, and I really want to know!"
Nino was scowling, and, after making sure that no one was listening, spat in a hushed and grave tone, "How would you feel if there were a flower that lived eternally?"
Marinette was immediately reminded of Mylene's story from her journal, and how the gardener in the story had tragically died in his attempts to get his flowers to live forever. There was no doubt in her mind now that Nino knew something important.
But why was he asking her about eternally-living flowers? What was the significance? Was it symbolic?
Whatever the case, Marinette knew her answer to the question.
Eternal life was tragic, terrible, and horrible. Having to watch your friends die as you continued to live? Living even after the apocalypse happened?
Tragic. Marinette didn't wish that upon anyone.
Marinette relaxed her body, now merely standing in front of the stairwell door as she said, "I'd think it'd be sad."
Nino gave Marinette a pointed look and said shortly, "Exactly." He then promptly pushed past Marinette to open the stairwell door and go up the stairs.
Marinette was left on the first floor of the recreation center in confusion, again. Frustrated, Marinette grumbled, and pushed the stairwell door open to go up the stairs.
Unbeknownst to Marinette, a redheaded akumatized half-breed had walked into the recreation center during her conversation with Nino. The aura of misery that surrounded him seemed to be more prominent than usual, though people were simply backing away from him as usual.
Nathanael was burning cold with envy.
What had Nino done to garner Marinette's attention?
Pursuing Nino would only end badly, this was something that Nathanael believed in with all his heart.
Maybe it was desperation, maybe it was actual dread that something would go wrong, maybe it was the absurdity of searching for Mylene.
Either way, Nathanael vowed to protect Marinette, the only person he could remember that was consistently kind to him, and genuine about it with all her heart.
Nathanael was lonely, and so cold. But most of all, he feared losing her.
However, unbeknownst to Nathanael, and anyone else at the asylum for that matter, the vial labelled "解毒剂" or "antidote" had done its job.
Over in a place that was known as Italy, an orange pendant in the shape of a fox tail rested on a necklace chain. It glinted in the sunlight from where it was perched upon a young woman's chest. There was just enough sunlight to tell that the young woman was smirking.