Notes: I, uh... did not see this story coming. Blindsided by a particularly vicious plot bunny.

Not Like You

Tommy stays after everyone else leaves.

He thanks Barry and Cisco for coming on short notice. Barry was more Tommy and Oliver's friend than Laurel's and it had been good to have the other man's support. Cisco was more Laurel's friend than Tommy's and and while their grief was different, it was still shared. It was nice to know someone else was as unconditionally supportive of Laurel being badass as Tommy had been. He asked them to tell Caitlin hi for him and to pass on his thanks for her condolences. It's all very polite and restrained, though, and the two men give Tommy a wary look, like they know he's going to be falling apart soon.

They aren't wrong, but Tommy's still grateful they don't call him on it before they leave. Barry offers whatever help they can give with Darhk, but... Tommy knows Team Flash is too busy with their Zoom problem to be able to spare much for problems in Star city. That the two of them could make time to come out for the funeral at all was kindness enough.

Sara isn't there. Still time traveling. Tommy doesn't know how he's going to tell her. He doesn't know how he's going to convince her not to blame herself. Because she isn't to blame. If anyone in the Lance family is to blame, it's Quentin and... he blames himself enough that it exhausts Tommy just looking at the man. There's a conversation that needs to happen there. But not today. Not at Laurel's grave. And not when Tommy's so numb that he might offer forgiveness he isn't ready to give yet.

Quentin lingers for a long while, until Thea - who had been Laurel's maid of honor and spoken about how glad she was that her sister was now really her sister at the wedding reception - quietly led him away. She'd promised Tommy earlier that she'd keep an eye on Quentin for him. Make sure the man didn't fall into a bottle.

Dinah had been one of the first to leave the funeral, in contrast to her ex-husband. She was proud of her daughter and angry too. None of them had told her that Laurel was the Black Canary. None of them told her Sara had died again but for real or been resurrected or joined a time traveling group of weirdos and misfits. She was angry and she was right to be, but she'd still held Tommy earlier and said she loved him. He was still her son and she was still so proud to have him in the family. And that meant... everything.

Dig and Lyla wanted to stay longer than they did, but their twins, JJ and Sara, were getting restless. Tommy had gotten a hug each from the twins. They didn't really understand what was going on. Just that their Aunt Laurel was gone and couldn't come back and it made Uncle Tommy very sad. They promised him he could sleep in their room if he got lonely and Tommy wanted to cry because... they'd wanted kids. Him and Laurel

They'd planned to start trying after stopping Darhk. It'd never happen now and it wasn't fair. Laurel would've been an amazing mom.

Oliver leaves, eventually, with Felicity. Tommy wonders if tragedy will bring those two idiots back together. He hopes they'll take ten minutes out of plotting revenge to actually grieve together. But he doubts either of them have the emotional wherewithal to actually do it.

Moira is the last to leave, save for Tommy. She was the one who held him when he broke down outside Laurel's hospital room after she died. Moira had stroked his hair, but didn't say anything. Not until his tears had slowed and she said, "I won't offer you empty platitudes about it getting better. What you had with Laurel was healthier than my relationship with Robert ever managed to be, even when things were still good. And losing him hurts as much today as the day I learned of his death. So Laurel's death isn't going to get better. But your ability to bear her loss will improve with time. It's not a lot of hope, I admit. But it's what I can offer."

During the funeral she watches him the way a mother would a son. And before she leaves, she makes Tommy promise not to linger overly long. But she also knows who else is watching and she offers to stay.

Some things, though, Tommy needs to face for himself.

So eventually Tommy stands alone in the light drizzle on the overcast day of his wife's funeral. And he pretends he doesn't hear his father walk up until the man is standing next to him, staring morosely at the headstone before them.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

For a moment Tommy sees red. He can't breathe, he can't think, he can't... how dare he. "If you were sorry, then you wouldn't be helping the man who murdered my wife," Tommy said, voice tight with barely controlled anger, the numbness he'd felt all day finally washing away to make way for the heated, seething anger his grief brought with it. "And if you cared about anyone other than yourself, you wouldn't have helped him do it."

"I didn't..." Malcolm actually went silent at the sight of whatever the expression on Tommy's face was when he turned to face his father.

"You have been helping the man who murdered my wife," Tommy repeated firmly. "She may not be dead directly because of your actions, but you played a hand in it all the same. And if I were like you, well... that would be enough justification to kill you right here, right now. Wouldn't it?" And Tommy probably could. He's taken to carrying a gun and Dig had taught him how to use it. He's even a pretty decent shot, not that he'd need to be at this distance. But he doesn't reach for the weapon.

He just leaves the words hanging in the air. Waiting to see what Malcolm Merlyn would say.

"I'm lucky, I suppose... that you're so much like Rebecca. And Thea is so much like Moira." Malcolm hesitated and then asked, "are you keeping the name Lance?"

"Yes, I'm keeping my wife's name. Why wouldn't I?" Tommy Lance was infinitely better sounding than Tommy Merlyn.

For a moment, Tommy could almost hear Laurel's voice from their honeymoon, when Malcolm had thought it a good idea to ambush the happy couple and offer them well wishes since, unsurprisingly, he hadn't been invited to their wedding. Malcolm had called her Laurel Merlyn and she'd grinned that fierce smile of hers and corrected him. Laurel and Tommy Lance, not Tommy and Laurel Merlyn. Told him their children would carry on the Lance legacy.

Children they'd never have, because Malcolm Merlyn helped free Damien Darhk.

"I do know how you feel, Tommy," Malcolm offered quietly. "I know what it's like to lose the woman you love. How hard it is to put your life back together afterwards..."

"You mean, you know how to run away. To shirk your responsibilities. To snub the people who love and want to support you. To abandon the ones who need your support... you never put your life back together. You didn't face the consequences of what you did after her death either. You made it clear I wasn't worth staying for then. And you have nothing of worth to say to me now."

"I came back for you," Malcolm insisted. Revisionist history at it's finest. "I know I screwed this up and I'm sorry about Laurel. I've been trying to protect you and Thea."

"You didn't come back for me. You came back for revenge. And joining Damien was never about me or about Thea, though if lying to yourself about that helps you sleep at night..." Tommy shrugged. "At best you see us as extensions of yourself and your legacy. We're not people to you. Remember how easy it was for you to threaten to kill Thea when she wasn't your daughter? Well she's not your daughter. She's Robert's daughter and Walter's daughter. They were and are her fathers. I just wish I was that lucky."

Something ugly and hateful crosses Malcolm's face. Something Tommy had first seen in the days after his mother's death and had taken his father over completely upon his return from the league of assassins, though Tommy hadn't understood that at the time. And for a moment, Tommy is certain his father is going to hit him.

Malcolm steps back. His expression steadies into neutrality and faux sympathy. "This is a bad time. We'll talk more later. When you're feeling more yourself. And Tommy? Like it or not, you'll always be a Merlyn."

"I'm a Lance by marriage and a Queen by choice. I'm not like you."

The rain picks up at about that point, but Tommy can tell that Malcolm heard him by the way the older man flinches. Just the tiniest bit; anyone else, maybe even Oliver, might have missed it. But Tommy knows what he's looking for.

There's a part of Tommy that wants to crawl into that grave with Laurel. That feels like his life is over with her dead and buried. But the opposite is true. Tommy has to live for both of them now.

"I don't know how to do this without you, Laurel. But I'll figure it out somehow. I love you. I miss you. And I promise, I'll make you proud."