CHAPTER 3

As Jeremy enters the house, he stops and takes a deep breath and says a little prayer. He goes into the kitchen and not seeing Candy, he then checks the parlor. Candy is sitting on the settee mending clothes. "Hi," Jeremy says.

Candy jumps and seeing Jeremy says, "Oh Jeremy, you startled me. I thought you were at work."

"I was, but I thought I better come and apologize for my outburst at breakfast. I'm sorry. Not for what I said, but for saying it in front of the kids. How are they?"

"Well, Jamie and Joey are all right. They went on to school and work. But Josie went to her room. She's pretty upset," Candy says.

"I'll go talk to her later," Jeremy says as he bites on his lip. "And you Candy, how are you?"

"I've been better. Look Jeremy, if you came home to talk. . ."

Jeremy interrupts her. "You're right, I did come home to talk and you're going to listen. Even condemned men have a right to tell their side of the story before they're executed. Please Candy, will you just hear me out?"

"Jeremy stop exaggerating, but all right, go ahead."

"I'm not exaggerating. Candy, I feel like my whole life is ending. Uh, would you please put your sewing away and give me your full attention. Please?"

Placing her sewing back in the basket on the floor, she folds her hands in her lap and stares straight at Jeremy.

"Thank you," Jeremy begins. "Have you ever had a day where it seemed like you couldn't do anything right? Well, yesterday was like that for me. It started off bad and just continuously got worse. Everything I did just wasn't right. So I gave up and told Josh that I was going home before I really screwed up and hurt somebody. But before I did, I went to Ben's to call Chris, but I had to send a telegram instead. Wh. . ."

"To Christopher? Whatever for?" Candy questions.

"I, uh, asked him if he could possibly come home for Thanksgiving. Wh. . ."

"Why? You know how busy he is," Candy says scornfully.

"Well Candy, I know you and Molly miss him and I was hoping to surprise you. I guess you're going to blame me for trying to make you happy too," Jeremy says.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound that way. It's just, I don't want to make him feel like he has to come home. It would be nice to see him though. Thank you."

"Yeah well, he hasn't responded yet that I know of, but I did tell Ben no need to make a trip up here if he replies. I'll check back with him when I go in for supplies." Jeremy looks up at the ceiling, then focuses his eyes on Candy. "Besides, you may not want him to come home when Thanksgiving is in doubt. There's not much to be thankful for right now. At least for me."

Candy starts to say something, then stops. Jeremy continues, "Anyways, as I was leaving Ben's, I hear Billie call out to me that she wants to talk to me. I tell her I'm on my way home, but she says she has a trunk that belonged to Lottie, that I may be interested in. So I follow her up to Lottie's room where her trunk is filled with all sorts of things. Journals, jewelry, some pictures, and I don't know what all else is in there. I pick up a journal and start skimming through it. Candy, it was about when I was a little boy and would get bullied and how she would hold me until I felt better. I just had to read more of it, so I sat down on the side of the bed."

"Oh, why the bed?" Candy asks as her eyes get big.

"Because there was no where else to sit. I'm sorry, maybe I should have stood for an hour or more, just to make you feel better," Jeremy replies sarcastically.

Candy gasps.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that either. Seems like today is starting out just as bad as yesterday." Jeremy runs his hands through his hair. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Jeremy, you don't need to ask to sit down in your own home. Sit."

Jeremy starts to sit on the settee next to her, but stops and moves to the rocker next to the settee. "I lost track of the time because the journal was so interesting. It brought a lot of good and bad memories back to me. Anyways, when I realized how late it was getting, I started to leave when Billie pushed me back down on the bed." When Jeremy sees Candy's eyes get big again, he adds, "In a sitting position only. But she had let her robe fall open and off her shoulders where most of her breast were exposed. She told me I could touch them and I told her no, I couldn't. That's when she took my hand and placed it on her breast. I jumped up and said I had to get home to you, so I hurried outside. I didn't know she was behind me until she spun me around to face her. And you heard the rest. Candy, I swear that's all that happened."

Candy just stares down at her lap as she wrings her hands. "I saw the kiss, Jeremy."

"I know you did and I'm sorry about that. I didn't kiss her back though, but I should have pushed her away and that is something I regret not doing. But it happened so fast. She just caught me off guard." He places his elbows on his knees and holds his head in his hands, "I'm so sorry, Candy."

"What was that about when you said you enjoyed it and couldn't wait to come back tomorrow for more? Jeremy, please don't lie to me."

Reaching over to take her hand, Candy withdraws it quickly. "Sorry, I forgot I'm not to touch you. Candy, I meant I enjoyed reading the journal. She told me if I brought the wagon tomorrow, which is today, that I could have the trunk and all it contained.. I wanted those journals Candy for me, Jason, and Josh. And I wanted the jewelry for you and the girls. That's what I was going back for. The trunk. Not her. I was planning to take Jason or Josh with me."

"Why? Did you not trust yourself to be alone with her again?" Candy asks with a smirk.

"It's just that the trunk was going to be heavy and I was going to need help carrying it downstairs and loading it in the wagon. I trusted myself completely. I wish you would trust me, too."

"Obviously, you didn't go back yet today to get the trunk, Are you going to?"

Shaking his head Jeremy replies, "No, I have one journal. The rest is not that important to me anymore. What matters to me now is mending your trust in me and making our marriage whole again. I love you, Candy."

"Jeremy, where is that journal that you say you have?"

"It's upstairs on the table next to the bed. Why?"

"Would you go get it? I want to see it."

"Sure." He gets up and starts to go get it, when he stops. "Wait a minute! You don't believe there is a journal, do you? You don't believe anything I said."

"I didn't say that," Candy says.

"You didn't have to. I heard it in your voice. You think I'm lying. Candy, you know I don't lie. You always know when I have tried to lie."

"Jeremy, I don't know what to believe. If you can produce this journal, then I'll know you're telling me the truth."

"Fine! I'll get the damn thing," he says as he storms out of the room and hurries upstairs to his room. He goes over to the table and the journal is not there. He searches in the table drawer and under the bed. "This can't be happening," he mutters. "Oh God, where is it? She's going to be convinced I'm lying."

After a futile search, he slowly re-enters the parlor and goes over to the window where Candy is looking outside. "Candy, it's not there. Did you move it?"

"No Jeremy, I didn't. I haven't been in there today. Are you sure there was a journal to begin with?"

"I don't know what happened to it. It was there when I got up this morning. Somebody must have taken it. Maybe one of the kids."

"Don't blame the kids for this. I can't believe you'd blame your own kids to cover for your lies," Candy says with contempt.

"You're impossible to reason with. Candy, what's happened to you? We were so happy and in love just a few days ago. Or at least I thought we were. And now you've turned against me so quickly. It's like we're strangers. I can't. . .Did you ever really love me or was it all an act just to cover for who you really loved?"

"What? What do you mean for who I really loved? Jeremy Bolt, I loved you!"

"Did you Candy? Really? Or do you really love Jason?" Jeremy says as his eyes fill with tears.

"Jason! Where did you come up with that ridiculous idea?"

"Is it ridiculous, Candy? Really? Oh for years, I heard the comments others made about how you always run to Jason. I saw how you would hug and kiss him and completely ignore me. You always seem to see the best in him and the worst in me. I guess I was just a consolation prize since he didn't show any interest in you. He wouldn't stab his own brother in the back."

Candy slaps him. "How dare you! Don't try to turn this around and blame me for something that you yourself are doing. I have never been unfaithful to you. Can you say the same? Have you forgotten about Ashley? And Betty? And now Billie?"

Jeremy bites on his lip. "No, I haven't forgotten about Ashley. You won't let me forget. As for Betty and Billie, I have never been with them and I never will. I've had it with all women. Even you. Now, I'm going to go talk to Josie. That is unless you've already poisoned her mind about me." He leaves the room as Candy sits down on the settee and cries.