CHAPTER 7

The next morning Jeremy is sitting at the table writing some letters when he hears a knock on the door. Thinking that whoever it is will go away if he ignores them, he continues writing. The door opens and when he looks up, he sees Candy standing there holding a small cast iron dutch oven.

"Jeremy Bolt, why didn't you answer the door? This isn't the easiest thing to stand here and hold while trying to open a door," she says as she moves into the room and sets the pot on the stove.

"I was busy and I just wanted to be left alone so I could finish my work," he answers.

"Oh, and what are you doing that is so important?" she asks as she walks over to the table to see what he's doing.

Gathering up his papers, he puts them in a stack and turns them over so she can't see them. "Candy, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I just wanted to bring you your stew. I fixed it last night before going to bed so it'd be ready to eat for lunch. I hope you enjoy it."

"You didn't need to do that."

"I know, but I wanted to and I can't very well let you starve."

Jeremy looks at her with a puzzled expression on his face. "Candy, why do you care if I starve? Something is different about you. Is something wrong?"

Wringing her hands and biting on her lip with tears in her eyes she says, "Jeremy, there's something I need to tell you and I'm afraid of your reaction."

"You don't need to tell me Candy. I think I can guess what it is," he says as he blinks away the tears that threaten to fall.

"You do? How do you know? I haven't told anybody."

"I've been expecting it. I wondered what was taking you so long to tell me."

Candy walks over to the fireplace and looks at the pictures on the mantle. "I don't know. I guess I had to build up the courage to tell you. You've said that you didn't want this to happen. I'm sorry, Jeremy. If I would have just told you in the beginning then maybe we could have come to an understanding."

"Candy, I'll never understand, but if this is what you really want, then I won't stand in your way. I have some news of my own to tell you."

"What?" she asks.

"Yesterday when I left the house, I drove over to the boarding house to see Annie's Dad. He's a real nice fellow."

"Yes, he is," Candy replies. "What did you want to talk to Mr. Cooke about?"

"Annie said something that really got to me. She. . ."

"I know what you mean," Candy interrupts holding her hand up in the air. "You're talking about the

not remarrying comment she made, aren't you? Jeremy, that really got to me too."

Jeremy shakes his head. "I don't get it, Candy. Then why. . .why are you. . .forget it. Anyways, Dan and I had a long talk about it. He said he had to put some distance between him and Olympia because of all the memories. Being here in Seattle he says, has really helped so far." He stands and walks over to stand in front of Candy at the fireplace. "I think that's what I need too, Candy."

"But Jeremy, you already live here in Seattle."

"No not Seattle, Candy. I think I need to put some distance between. . .you and me. The memories are killing me. I know we don't see each other every day, but just knowing that you're so close yet so far away, I can't take it any longer. Candy, I have to leave Seattle."

Candy is shocked. "But Jeremy, what about what I just told you. Doesn't that change your mind about things?

"Don't worry, I've already signed the papers. I don't want you living in limbo because of me."

Candy starts to cry. "Oh Jeremy! What will I do? What will I tell the baby when he or she is old enough to ask questions. Papers? What papers?"

"Just tell them their Daddy loved their Mama too much to stand in her way of getting a divorce."

Jeremy stops and looks bewildered. "Baby? What baby? Candy, I think Josie and Joey are a little too old to be called babies."

"Divorce? Jeremy, you want a divorce?" Candy asks just as bewildered.

"No, I don't want a divorce, but if that's what you want, I won't stop you. I just want to make you happy and if a divorce is. . ."

Shaking her head slowly she says, "I don't want a divorce! Where did you come up with that idea? Is that what you thought I was wanting to tell you?"

"You mean it wasn't? What else could it be that you dread telling me?" Jeremy asks.

Candy places her hands over her face and tries to compose herself. She finally takes her hands down and looks at Jeremy. "Maybe you should sit down for this."

"I'm all right, Candy. Just tell me."

"Well. . .well Jeremy it's like this. Remember the day you left and Allyn and Peggy came to the house?"

"Like I could ever forget that awful day," Jeremy replies.

"Well, Allyn, uh, after spending some time with her and answering some of her questions, she wanted me to come in for an exam. I kept putting it off for days, but she kept insisting, so I finally went just so she'd leave me alone."

"Candy, what's wrong? Are you sick?" Jeremy asks with lots of concern as he gently takes her arm. "Maybe you're the one that should sit down."

"No, I need to stand, just in case I have to get out of here when I tell you."

"You're worrying me, Candy."

"I don't mean to. Just bare with me, please."

"All right, but make it fast. Okay?"

Candy nods her head. "Well, I go in to see Allyn and she asks me more questions. She said I might be in the early stages of pre-menopause. You know the nausea, fatigue, trouble sleeping, me breaking out in a sweat, and the mood swings. Oh, those mood swings. You experienced those on our trip. I was so emotional and unreasonable. I still am."

"Pre-menopause? That's not a bad thing, is it? I mean it's not life threatening, or is it?" Jeremy asks."

"No, it's a normal process that every woman goes through." Candy pats him on the cheek saying, "I'm not dying, whatever that's worth."

He takes her hand and kisses her fingertips. "That's worth everything to me." He immediately drops her hand and says, "Sorry, I. . ."

"It's all right, Jeremy. You don't need to apologize."

Jeremy nods his head. "So Candy, what can be done about this?"

"Nothing can be done, but that's not the end of my story. There's more." Taking him by the hand she leads him over to the table. "I think we both should sit down."

After sitting, Candy continues. "Allyn asked me if I was still having periods. I had to think on that one. I told her I haven't been keeping up with them lately, but I can't remember having had one in months. Well, she does her exam, but her demeanor changed afterwards. She told me some things to do to help relieve my symptoms. But something wasn't right with her. Allyn said to come back in a week, so I did. When I went back, she told me she wanted to do another exam. After I got dressed, she told me what is wrong with me. It isn't pre-menopause like she thought. Because of my age, it was hard to diagnose." Candy starts wringing her hands. "Jeremy, I don't know how to tell you this. You're going to be so upset with me, maybe even hate me." Tears start falling.

"Candy, I could never hate you, you know that. Just tell me, please."

"Well. . .Jeremy, I'm 45 years old, I'm alone since my husband left me, and I'm. . .I'm pregnant," she says as she breaks down crying.

There is complete silence except for the sound of Candy's crying. Jeremy just sits there trying to take in all that Candy has told him. He is shocked.

Candy looks at Jeremy and sees that he's just looking out in space. Rising from her chair, she says, "I'm sorry, Jeremy. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'll let myself out."

The sound of the door opening brings Jeremy back to his senses. Seeing Candy going out the door, he springs towards her and grabs her arm. "Candy, please don't go. I'm sorry. Your news surprised me, that's all. That was the last thing I expected you to say. Will you stay? Please?'

Jeremy leads her back over to the table where they sit down. "How did this happen, Candy?"

"You know how this happened, Jeremy. You were there for Heaven's sake."

"I know I was there and I know what happens to make a baby. What I mean is how. . .uh, why. . .uh, I didn't know someone your age could get pregnant."

Candy begins to cry again. "Someone my age?" Then she begins to sob. "I didn't know it either," she says as she lays her head on her folded arms on the table.

Jeremy puts his arm around her shoulders and holds her tight. "It's all right, Candy. Don't cry."

"No, it's not all right, Jeremy. I don't know if I can do this alone. Not now. Not at 45."

"You won't be alone. I'll be here."

"No, you won't," she continues to sob. "You're leaving Seattle. Remember?"

"I can't leave now," he says.

"No Jeremy! No! I don't want you to stay just because of the baby. I won't tie you down with another child. You didn't want anymore children and I won't let me or this baby be a burden to you and stop you from doing what you want to do."

"Candy, look at me. Come on," he says. When she sits up and is looking at him with her red puffy eyes, he places his hand on her cheek and says, "Candy, the only reason I was leaving was because I didn't think I had anything here to look forward to. I didn't really want to go."

"But Jeremy, you've told me I don't know how many times, that you were glad our baby days were over and how much you looked forward to being free to do what you wanted to do without having to worry about a baby. I can't ask you to give up your dreams."

"Then don't ask me. I'll tell you that I will gladly give up all those other dreams if it means you'll let me come home. To be a Daddy to this baby that was created by our love. To be a husband to you again. Candy, that is my dream. It has always been my dream."

"Oh Jeremy," she says as she starts to sob again.

"Oh! I guess I had this all wrong. I thought you wanted me to come home, to be, uh, oh." His eyes fill with tears. "Exactly, what do you want from me, Candy?"

"I don't want you to come home just because of the baby. I want you to come home because of me. Because you love me. Because you really and truly want to come home and be a family again. I love you, Jeremy and I want you to come home. But I will not use this baby to trap you in a marriage that you were ready to bail on."

"I wasn't bailing on our marriage. I really thought our marriage was over. I thought that was what you wanted. I would have never thought about leaving Seattle if I thought there was at least a tiny bit of hope for us. And now, there is hope and I'm not going anywhere, except home with you." He places his hand under her chin and lifts her face up to where their lips meet. "I love you, Candy Pruitt Bolt. I will always love you. And this baby."

"Oh Jeremy," she says as tears start again. "I love you, too. Are you sure you want to go through these baby years again? Do you know how old we'll be when this child turns twenty?"

"Yes, we'll be 65. But we'll make it together. All right?"

"All right." They wrap their arms around each other and hold on tightly.

Pulling away from Candy, Jeremy says, "Wait, Candy. What about that Billie thing that started this whole mess? We can't just forget it and pretend it never happened. Candy, you didn't believe me. Do you know how much it hurt me when you called me a liar? What about now? Do you still think something happened between Billie and me? Do you still think I lied to you?"

"I'm sorry, Jeremy. I'm ashamed of myself for treating you that way. After I finally came to my senses, I knew you were telling the truth. You're the most honest person I know."

"If you believed me, then why didn't you tell me that. Why put me through that hell I was going through?: he asked indignantly.

"I wanted to tell you. On my way to Allyn's for my second exam, I had already decided I was going to find you and tell you I believed you as soon as I left there. But then Allyn told me about the baby and I knew I couldn't tell you I believed you because you would want to come back home and I

didn't. . ."

"And that was a bad thing? Me coming home? You knew for weeks and didn't tell me. Candy,

you. . . you. . ." He gets up and goes outside while Candy lays her head back down on the table and cries.

After awhile, Candy gets up and goes outside. She finds Jeremy sitting in their spot down by the water. Standing next to him she says, "Jeremy? Jeremy, I'm so sorry. I knew if I told you I believed you, then I would have to tell you about the baby and I couldn't do that to you. You didn't want anymore babies." She waits to see if he is going to respond. Getting no response she continues. "If you think you can forgive me for everything I did wrong, and the good Lord knows it's a lot, then I'll be at home waiting to welcome you with open arms. But if you want to leave Seattle, I understand and I want you to go with my blessing. Just please, take care of yourself." She walks back up to the cabin to leave. Climbing into the buggy, she looks down at the water and sees Jeremy watching her. She takes the reins and heads home crying all the way.