CHAPTER 12

FIVE MONTHS LATER

Jeremy sits by the bed holding Candy's hand just as he has done ever since the day before when she went into labor. He tries to collect his thoughts on what has happened. They knew all the risks as Dr. Wright had explained it all to them. Knowing what the risks were, they talked Allyn into letting Jeremy stay with Candy during the delivery. Candy told Allyn that since her chances of dying were greater than usual, that she wanted to die in Jeremy's arms and Jeremy agreed with her. Allyn tried to get Candy to agree to enter the small hospital for the delivery, but Candy refused. If she was going to die, then she wanted to die at home, not at some stuffy hospital. Allyn tearfully agreed.

Everything about the pregnancy had gone rather smoothly up until yesterday. Candy had gotten up at her usual time to fix breakfast. She didn't feel too good, but she got dressed and went downstairs. She dropped her dishtowel on the floor and when she bent over to retrieve it, she felt her water break. She slowly climbed the stairs to the bedroom and woke Jeremy. Explaining what had happened, Jeremy ran downstairs to Jamie's room and told him to go get Allyn. Upon re-entering the bedroom, he saw Candy struggling to change back into her nightgown. Jeremy helped her and then put her back in bed.

He remembers Candy telling him that the baby was a month too early and she was afraid that little Jeremy might not make it and she may not make it either. Jeremy sat on the bed holding her, trying to reassure her that everything would be all right while deep inside he was scared to death of losing her and the baby.

After Candy exhausted herself over the course of the day, Allyn told them that she may have to do a cesarean. She explained what that was and told them that the procedure was fairly new. While she had never done one herself, she did observe one when she went to San Francisco. Candy got upset even more and insisted that she could do this naturally.

Jeremy held Candy in his arms and told her he loved her and always would. Candy told Jeremy she would love him until her last dying breath, which made Jeremy break down and cry realizing that moment may be soon. Then after one big final push, the baby slid out into Allyn's waiting hands. "It's a boy!" Allyn announced as she held him up for the parents to see.

"Little Jeremy," Candy whispers right before she takes a deep breath and loses consciousness.

Jeremy shakes Candy and says, "Don't do this, Candy! Wake up! Candy! Please, don't leave me! Allyn, do something!"

Allyn gives the baby to Rachel, her nurse and then hurries to Candy's side. After doing a quick assessment of Candy, she tells Jeremy that Candy is alive, but very weak. Only time will tell if she will pull through. She finishes her work on Candy and then asks to speak to Jeremy alone.

"Jeremy, it doesn't look good for Candy. You better prepare yourself and your children for the worst. I'm so sorry," she says as she places her hand on his arm. "Why don't you go down and talk to them? You've been cooped up in this room all day. You need to go down and. . ."

"I can't do that, Allyn. I have to stay with Candy. She needs me. I need her," he cries.

"All right, Jeremy. You stay with Candy. I'll go talk to the family."

"Allyn, would it be all right if they come up one or two at a time to see their Mama? You know just in case," Jeremy asks as he dries his eyes with the back of his hands.

"That's a good idea. I'll send them up after I have a talk with them."

"Thanks Allyn. Uh, how is the baby? Is Jeremy all right?"

"He's small, but he has a good set of lungs on him," she smiles. "I think Candy must have been a little farther along than we thought."

After all the children came to see their Mama in which they hoped was not for the last time, Jeremy took up residency by her bedside. Sometime during the night, he laid down next to her and held her in his arms. He didn't sleep though. Instead he talked to her all night long, telling her how much he loved her and how she had made all his dreams come true. How much he needed her to fight to come back to him and the children, especially little Jeremy. How little Jeremy needed to meet his Mama and to be taken care of by her. He talked about some of their happier moments and how they had a lot of happy moments left to do together.

When the sun came up, Jeremy got up and went into the washroom. He threw water on his face to help wake himself up. Then he sat down by Candy and held her hand talking to her the whole time. Pleading with her to wake up. And that is what he is still doing right now.

Allyn comes and checks on Candy, bringing Jeremy some breakfast which he hardly touches. He asks for little Jeremy to be brought up, so he can meet his son. Allyn brings him up and places him in Jeremy's arms and then she leaves them alone.

"Hi there," Jeremy says as he kisses his newborn son. "Hi, I'm your Daddy. My name is Jeremy, also. This may get confusing because we now have three Jeremys in the family. Three Jeremys! But your Mama, your beautiful Mama over there, insisted that we name you Jeremy. I've never been able to say no to her," he chuckles. "Come on, I want you to meet your Mama," he says as he walks over to the bed and lays Jeremy on Candy's chest. He then takes her arms and places them around Jeremy. "Jeremy, this is your Mama. She loves you with her whole heart. I hope and pray that she'll wake up and we can be the loving family that you deserve." He blinks back his tears. "Candy, you need to wake up and meet our son, the son that our love made. Come on, Candy. Little Jeremy wants to meet his Mama."

Finally, after getting no response from Candy, Jeremy bends down to take the baby from Candy. Little Jeremy starts to cry when a thought comes to Jeremy. He knows that Candy would want to nurse the baby, so he unbuttons her gown and pushes it off her shoulder until her breast is exposed. He nudges the baby over to her breast and he latches on and begins nursing. Jeremy sits there and watches with tears streaming down his face.

When the baby is through nursing, Jeremy moves him up on Candy's shoulder and helps her pat him on the back. When he goes to remove Jeremy, Candy clutches him. With a big grin on his face he bends over and kisses Candy, then goes to the door and shouts for Allyn.

Allyn comes running thinking the worst. The children run upstairs after her. Jeremy greets her and says as he pulls Candy's gown back up to cover her breast, "Allyn look, Candy is holding on to the baby. That must mean something good, doesn't it?"

"Maybe Jeremy Why don't you take the baby, while I examine Candy?" Allyn tells him as she gets her stethoscope from her bag.

"Candy, I need to take Jeremy to get his diaper changed," Jeremy says "I'll bring him back in a little while." Jeremy picks him up and kisses his forehead before handing him over to Jessie who takes him into the nursery next door.

"Allyn, how is she?" Jeremy asks. "She's going to be all right, isn't she?"

"Jeremy, her heart and breathing sounds just a tad stronger, but I'm afraid she's not out of the woods yet. Like I said before, only time will tell. Continue to talk to her. Maybe she can hear you."

"But Allyn, if you'd seen how Candy responded to the baby, I know you would think differently." He tells Allyn about letting Candy nurse little Jeremy and how she held on to him when he tried to take him from her.

"Well, it does sound promising, Jeremy. Are you sure you weren't just imagining what you wanted to see?"

Shaking his head he replies, "No Allyn. It really happened. I know she's going to come back to me. . .to us."

"All right, Jeremy. I hope and pray you're right. "Now, why don't you go downstairs and eat something. Go outside and get some fresh air. I'll call you if there is any change."

"Thanks, but I'm not leaving Candy until she wakes up and I know she's going to be all right. One of the kids can bring me something to eat later. I really don't feel like eating anything right now." He sits back down on the side of the bed and takes Candy's hand raising it to his lips and kisses her fingertips. "Now, if everyone will excuse us, I'd like to be alone with my wife."

Everyone clears out except for JJ. He walks over to the bed and places his hand on his Dad's shoulder. "Dad, is there anything I can do for you or Mama? I feel like I owe the both of you so much for taking me in and making me a part of your family. I love you both so much and I can't imagine our lives without Mama," JJ says as he lets his tears fall.

Jeremy places his hand on top of JJ's hand. "Thank you Son, I know Candy feels the same way as you do. She loves you, JJ. She has always wanted us to tell Seattle that you're my real son, but she has honored your wishes. She understands why you didn't want the world to know the truth. Maybe when she's better, we can revisit this situation and you'll be ready to acknowledge your birthright. I'm proud of you, JJ. You've handled this like a man ever since we told you."

"I know I'm a Bolt and that's all that matters. The family knows and accepts me and that's all that matters too. Maybe someday when Mary Jo and I have kids, I'll want it told, but until then we'll just continue with the way it is now." He bends down and gives Candy a kiss on the cheek. "Mama, you better hurry and wake up. We all miss you and love you." He pats Jeremy on the back and leaves.

Jeremy continues to talk to Candy, but he is getting tired and sleepy from not getting any rest the night before. He goes over to the window, opens it wide, and sticks his head out into the cool brisk air hoping it will wake him up. After a few minutes, he closes the window and walks over to the bed. He lays down close to Candy and places his head on her pillow. He turns her head facing him, their lips almost touching.

Taking her hand in his and bringing it next to his heart he whispers, "Candy, please don't leave me. I need you in my life. You are my life. I love you so much." He kisses her lips as tears fall from his heavy eyes. Closing his eyes, he is asleep in seconds.

"Jeremy! Jeremy!" Jeremy faintly hears someone calling his name.

"Candy! Candy! Where are you?" he answers. In his dream he is searching for his beloved Candy. "Candy, come here! I need you!"

"Jeremy, I'm here. Open your eyes. Jeremy!"

Jeremy jerks awake and looks into the beautiful blue eyes of his dear wife. "Candy. Candy, am I dreaming?" he whispers.

"Hello," she whispers.

"Hello," he answers back. "If I'm dreaming, don't ever wake me up."

"Jeremy, you're not dreaming. At least, I don't think so." She swallows hard. "If you're dreaming, then I am too." She licks her lips. "Water?"

Jeremy jumps up and gets her a glass of water. He sits down beside her, and helps her take a sip. "More?"

"A little more," she replies as Jeremy tilts the glass up giving her a little more water. She lays her head back on the pillow. "Thank you."

"Candy, how do you feel? Are you in any pain?"

"I'm all right. Just tired. How are you?"

Jeremy grins real big. "I feel so much better, now that you're awake. I need to call Allyn."

Candy takes Jeremy's hand in hers. "Not yet. Jeremy, I want you to hold me."

Jeremy lays down wrapping his arms around Candy and holds her tight as he can without hurting her. "Candy, I'm so glad you're back. I was so afraid of losing you."

"I know you were. I heard you talking to me, but I couldn't say anything. I wanted to, but I couldn't," she whispers as tears fill her eyes.

"You heard me? Really? I wasn't sure if you could hear me or not. Everyone came in to see you."

"I know," Candy whispers. "It was like they were saying goodbye to me. I wanted to yell, I'm not dying, but I couldn't." She lets the tears fall. "Jeremy, forgive me."

"Forgive you? Forgive you for what, Candy?" Jeremy asks as he kisses her forehead.

"Forgive me for worrying you so."

"Oh Candy. There's nothing to forgive. You need to forgive me for putting you in that situation again. I mean, I did this to you seven times, If I knew how giving birth really was, what pain you had to go through, then we would not have had any more children after Jessie. I love all our children, but I hate that I made you suffer all those times. I'm so sorry, Candy."

"Jeremy Bolt!" she whispers sternly. "I'm not sorry. Not sorry about any of our babies. It is painful, but the reward greatly outweighs any pain."

"But Candy. . ."

She places her finger on his lips and says, " Shh. Jeremy it's not your fault. It's just that I'm too old to be having babies. I guess little Jeremy will be our last one. Now, I don't want to hear anymore about this. I love you, Jeremy."

"I love you, too. Love you so much." Their lips meet for a tender kiss. "I sure did miss you."

Candy places her hand on the side of Jeremy's face and caresses his cheek. "I missed you, too. Jeremy, how is the baby? He is all right, isn't he?"

"Yes, he's fine. And beautiful like his Mama," he says as he kisses her lips.

"Can I see him?" She gets a puzzled look on her face. "Jeremy?"

"What?"

"I had a dream that you put little Jeremy in my arms and I nursed him. He was so tiny."

Jeremy's eyes get teary. "Candy, that was no dream. You did nurse him."

"But how?"

"I helped him find your breast. He seemed to enjoy being fed by his Mama." He clears his throat. "I thought that if by some chance you didn't ever wake up, I could tell him about his Mama holding him and nursing him. About how much his Mama loved him. I knew you would be happy about it, too."

"Thank you. Jeremy, I'm getting tired. So tired. But I want to see the baby before I rest."

"All right. Candy you lay here and take it easy. I'll go get Jeremy. I guess I need to get Allyn, too. She's going to have my hide for not getting her sooner," he chuckles.

He starts to get up but stops. "Candy?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for not leaving me. Welcome home. I love you."

"I love you," she says. "Forever and always."

THE END