"So."

"So." He repeated, a bit mockingly, as he placed a drink in front of her. He sat in the chair across from hers, gracefully crossing his legs and looking utterly at ease. She knew him well enough to see that he was not, in fact, at ease. She smiled to herself. She had certainly missed him.

"How did you find me?" Severus Snape asked, uncharacteristically straightforward.

"Minerva." She answered simply.

"Ah."

"She died last week. The funeral was yesterday, and she left me a letter, which included information on how to find you. I didn't read it until this morning, but I left as soon as I did. And here I am."

They sat quietly in their table for a few moments, neither sure what to say. Hermione Granger glanced around at the coffee shop where he'd reluctantly asked her to meet him, then her eyes came back to rest on the man across from her.

"Do you come here often? This is an excellent latte."

"I do- as you unfortunately are aware, I live just down the road."

She grimaced. "I'm sorry to have dropped in on you unannounced. I figured it was safer to just show up rather than risk you not opening letters I sent. This way, at least I knew you'd know I was attempting to contact you, even if you didn't want to see me."

"Yes, well." He picked at his trouser leg nervously. "I really shouldn't have opened the door, but against my better judgement, here we are."

"It's been years, Severus. You were pardoned fully and received the Order of Merlin- surely Minerva let you know?"

"She did."

"Then why? Why are you so averse to talking to me? And why are you here, in the States, of all places? Why didn't you come back?"

He said nothing, avoiding her eyes.

"Yes, well." She gathered her things and rose from her place at the table. "Now you're aware. About Minerva, I mean. Thank you for meeting with me, however briefly, and for the drink. I won't tell anyone where you are, of course. I really, genuinely, hope you have a nice life, Severus." He knew she meant it, kind person that she had always been.

Snape watched her go, back out of his life, and he found he couldn't bear the thought. The fates had granted him one final chance, and here he was letting it slip away. "Hermione."

She stopped, turning slowly to face him. She wore her emotions all over her face as she'd done since he met her, and he could see that she was barely holding herself together. Her heart was breaking all over again, but this time he bore witness. It was too much.

"I believe…I believe we may have a few things we could discuss?"

"What's left to say? You've made your decisions, and that's that." Hermione looked up at him with a hardness to her expression that he couldn't ever remember seeing before. "No matter who it hurts, nor who you leave behind?"

Severus sighed. "I deserve that. And you deserve the chance to say it, and anything else you need to. Please, sit back down?" She had never heard him ask for anything so kindly. Still, she was reluctant to oblige.

"Severus…I meant it, I'm don't have anything left to say."

"Please, Hermione."

She gave the smallest of nods, and allowed him to lead her back to her seat.

"What did you want to talk about, Severus?" She asked tiredly.

"You know why I left."

"Yes. But I don't know why you left the way you did. You didn't say goodbye, you didn't say anything at all! I was devastated. I'm sure you can imagine. I felt betrayed, Severus. And when the anger wore off there was just….sadness." She paused, looking away. "At first, I begged Minerva to tell me where you had gone. She wouldn't, of course. She would never betray you that way. I was angry with her, too. I would have done anything- given anything- to follow you."

"I know. I couldn't let you do that, Hermione. I was protecting you."

Her eyes snapped back to his, incredulous. "Protecting me? Of everything you know about me, what would give you the idea that I needed protecting? Or that I would want it? You took my choice from me. You chose what you thought was best, and left me to figure out the rest all alone."

"Would you have let me go? Without at fight?" Snape smiled sadly.

"Of course not!" Hermione felt her anger cool a bit. She smiled sadly. "But at least I would have been able to say goodbye. I may have even listened to your reasons for leaving."

"I left you the letter…"

"Oh, you mean the one left behind in your laboratory? The one that read 'Hermione, I am sorry,'" she began in a passable imitation of him. "'As I have somehow managed to survive service to both my masters, I find I am unable to cope with the idea of being bound again. I wish for you to continue making potions for the Hospital Wing, if you would. You may take any of the books in my quarters, along with anything else you'd like- I've everything what I need. You have a bright future ahead of you, and while I am saddened that I will not be there to see what you ultimately make of yourself, I must admit I feel relief that I won't be standing in your way. Our time working together was short-lived, but be assured I won't forget it any time soon. Be well, Hermione. Please forgive me.' I doubt you can imagine how I felt. You left out an awful lot, but said just enough to hurt."

He winced. "I'll admit, in retrospect that doesn't explain much. And I shouldn't be surprised that you have it memorized."

"No," she chuckled. "It doesn't, and you shouldn't. I read it so many times, hoping to see something new somewhere between the lines… Eventually, I had to put protective charms on the parchment so it wouldn't fall apart in my hands. The first time I read it, though…well, I was upset to think I'd made you feel trapped. I figured you just wanted to be done with me and didn't care enough to do it face to face. To be honest, I felt used- like you'd tricked me into believing that you cared for me, when really you were just passing time. That you saw in me a silly, desperate little fool who could be easily persuaded." She flashed him a strained smile.

He looked stricken. "That was absolutely not the case. I hope you don't really believe that."

She sighed, "Most of the time, no. Sometimes it's still the theory that makes the most sense. Once the shock had worn off and I found out about the Minister's plans to overturn your acquittal- I mean honestly, the war had been over for a year, did he really think he could get away with that? After everything we knew about your service for our side?Anyway, I told myself that was the reason you left. I know in my mind that you left to avoid Azkaban, but for a while my heart still wondered if you would have stayed had I been older, or prettier, or more interesting- just….better."

"What? That's nonsense."

"Well," she shrugged, "I never felt worthy of you to begin with, so when it proved, indeed, too good to be true…it sort of made sense."

"Hermione..you can't really believe that?"

"It's been a long time. I don't know what to believe, if I'm being truthful. It still stings that you left, but I'm not drowning in a sea of despair or anything. I know it wasn't all about me. We were only together for a few weeks, really- what's that amount to in a lifetime? Especially with all we've seen."

Snape reached across the table and gently touched his fingers to hers. She jerked her hand away. "Leaving you….it was the hardest thing I've ever done. That letter was wholly inadequate, I know- but I didn't want to risk it falling into the wrong hands and putting your reputation or accomplishments into question. I believed leaving was the right thing to do- for both of us- but for the first time in my adult life, I found I very much wanted to not do the right thing, consequences be damned. If I could have stayed with you…Hermione, I had hoped that I was ultimately doing you a favor by getting out of your way. I hoped you'd find someone else- someone better than me, better for you- and you'd get to live a life untainted by my reputation. The thought of you with someone else sickened me, but I was willing to give up my own desires to give you the chance. I cared for you very, very deeply- I'm shocked you doubted."

"How could I not, with a letter like that? A man like you? You're everything brilliant and powerful- and sexy, damn it all- how could I compete with what the rest of the world had to offer you? Though it sounds like you may have doubted me, as well. You thought I would just forget about you? How could you think that? You know me better than that, I thought."

"Perhaps…I was mistaken."

"Perhaps. Do you really think you may have been mistaken, Severus?" She spat sarcastically. "There's one more thing you haven't cleared up for me. If you cared so much, as you say, why didn't you say goodbye?"

It was his turn to look away. "I was a coward. And a fool. If you tried to get me to stay, I would have wavered. I couldn't risk it. I thought a clean break would be easiest, on both of us."

Hermione looked into his eyes. He knew she wasn't using Legilimency, he would have felt that- but Severus had the uncomfortable feeling that she could see into his mind anyway.

"You were afraid."

"Yes."

A mirthless laugh burst from her, startling them him. "Severus..I have to say, that's the worst excuse I've ever heard. You're no coward- you've proven yourself over and over to be an impossibly brave man, never shirking your duty, always jumping into battle even when it really wasn't necessary- I just don't buy it. You weren't afraid of me, you definitely couldn't have been afraid to hurt my feelings- you did it practically every day in class, more so after we became friends."

"I wasn't afraid of you, no- and making a rude comment on your essay isn't the same thing as telling you 'well, its been grand but I'll never see you again. Good luck!' I didn't want the last memory either of us had of each other to be something so painful." He looked down at his hands on the table. "I'd never felt that before you. Nor have I felt it since."

Hermione sighed again, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it that way. It's just that… well, I was afraid you'd say something like that. I know we can't change the past. But I think it would go a long way if I got an apology for the way things ended. Or…whatever you call it when the man you love disappears and tells only one person where he's gone, but that person isn't you. Then all of your owls to him come back unread."

"I truly am sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you, though I knew it would. It would seem I misjudged just how deeply my actions would effect you."

Hermione reached across the table, laying her hand gently atop his. "Thank you."

They sat in companionable silence for a while, thinking over all the words they'd finally said.

After a bit, she softly asked, "Severus, will you tell me how you've been? And what your life is like now? It's disorientating, it feels like no time has passed at all, like you still know me and I still know you. But five years is a long time…what have you been doing?"

"Bloody miserable, honestly. At first, I just traveled around, praying I wouldn't run across anyone I knew. I lived off my meager savings for a bit, then when I thought the coast was probably clear, I rented a basement flat and started a mail-order potions business. Once that picked up, I bought my home. The business has picked up, and it's not so much work that it takes up all my time, so I'm able to research on the side for the local wizarding hospital."

"Really! What are you researching?" Her genuine interest and enthusiasm warmed him, and they talked well into the afternoon. When the sun began to set, Hermione stood. Severus stood with her, and they made their way from the cafe onto the sidewalk outside.

"Thank you for talking with me, Severus. I didn't mean to take up your whole Saturday. I hope I haven't spoiled any plans?"

He waved her comment away, saying "Of course not. If I had somewhere to be, I'd have said." He looked at her again, with a strange expression. She had begun to think she must have said something wrong, then he smirked "Why? What did you think I would be doing?"

The blush that bloomed across her face was definitely something he'd missed.

"Oh, I don't know- I have no idea what you do with your time anymore! I haven't seen you for five years, I don't even know what name you're using!"

"Simon Stone." He obviously found something about this conversation amusing, but she didn't know what. Silkily, he asked, "I may use a different name, but I'm still fundamentally the same person, Hermione. Surely, you didn't think I'd be out dancing on a Saturday?"

She smiled at that. "Well, you are getting up in years now, maybe you spend your weekends at the bingo hall with your peers?"

"Bowling, perhaps? Or I could have planned to get utterly legless in my living room, staring off into the darkness until sleep finally claims me."

"Perhaps your wife is expecting you."

The atmosphere between them shifted, until he spoke in a quiet, sad voice, "I think you know me better than to think I'd have moved on so quickly. Or that I'd be here in a cafe with a beautiful young woman from my past- sitting here for hours where anyone could see- if I had someone waiting for me?"

"You did have someone waiting for you. I've been waiting for years. And truly, Severus, I thought I knew you very well. But I don't really, do I? Because all the reasons you gave for leaving haven't changed that I'm angry with you. Or that your lack of trust in me didn't wound me deeply."

"Lack of trust? Hermione, if I didn't trust you implicitly, we never would have let you into my life the way I did- I never would have fallen in love with you! I wouldn't have even entertained this meeting at all- you'd have been obliviated this morning as soon as I found you on my doorstep, sent on your merry way. Hermione…I trust you more than I've ever trusted another person. More than Albus, more than Minerva- I trusted them with my life, for sure. It's you I'd trusted you with my heart. Far more valuable to me than my life."

Her eyes softened at his unexpected words. "That's not what I meant. When I say you didn't trust me, I meant that you didn't trust me to know where you'd gone, or to accept your leaving, or even to make choices for myself. I felt like you….like you threw me away and rode off into the sunset to start a new life on your own! I know it wasn't truly how it happened, but my broken heart tends to stitch the sweet memories in with the worst parts of losing you. You should have trusted me to understand why it had to be the way it was."

Gazing into each other's eyes, both Severus and Hermione began to something other than the vast expanse of pain the years apart had created. A new, tentative hope began to bridge the gap.

Softly, Hermione spoke again. "And honestly, I don't think you did trust me with your heart- if you had done, you would know I could never move on without closure."

"Perhaps you're correct." He looked away thoughtfully. "No….you are undeniably correct." His eyes met hers once more, he reached for her hands and held them gently in his own. "I have been a fool, Hermione. I should have spoken to you, and I should never have taken your choice away. I must confess, nothing has changed the way I feel about you. You are still….everything." He cleared his throat. "How do you feel, now that years have passed and I've finally admitted I made a mess of things with you?"

That brought forth the dazzling smile Severus had longed for all these years. "Would I be here if I wasn't still madly in love with you? Would I have taken a portkey to America, apparated to your street? Stood outside your door for far too long, until I could compose myself?"

"I suppose not," he replied with a small smile. "Hermione, will you allow me another chance- a chance to be the man you deserve?"

"You have always been everything I needed, Severus. That hasn't changed either. I just need you to promise me that we will give this a real go, and that you won't leave me again without a conversation? I would never trap you, never take away your choice- you know that isn't my intention- of course if things aren't working out, you can leave…I just couldn't bear it if it happened the same way again," she whispered, the most heartbreakingly fearful expression in her eyes he'd ever seen. He wasn't sure he could speak, at first.

"I couldn't bear that either. I am so very sorry for what I've done, and how it still effects you- I promise to trust you as an equal, as a true partner. We will make decisions together from this point forward."

"Thank you, Severus." She sighed in relief, then tentatively, "Would you like to join me for dinner?"

"I would be delighted." He grinned, a sight so beautiful to her she couldn't believe she'd gone without it for so long. Her answering smile took his breath away. "May I kiss you?"

"I would be delighted." Their lips met for the first time as true equals, with open hearts and true hope for what the future held.