I can see the hurt echoing in Minerva's eyes as she looks at me. But I also know she's right. Nothing can happen between us, at least not yet. I feel guilty for even voicing the idea, Rons only been gone a few days, and here I am trying to get into Minerva's bed. I just want to feel something other than sadness. I can feel the tears encroaching again, I stand up abruptly "Erm, I think I'm going to turn in. Good Night Minerva, thank you for a wonderful evening" I kiss her on the cheek and walk as fast as I can to the room she showed me earlier. Unlike the ones the children are in mine has a little en-suite and a delectable looking double bed. I grab my toiletries from off the bed and head into the en-suite. I strip off my clothes and get into the small shower stall. I turn the water on, and the tears that I kept at bay in her office come rushing down my face. My tears mingle with the water from the shower, my sobs are drowned out by the beating of the water on the wall and shower door. I sob and cry and wail until I can't do any more. How could she even want me? I'm a complete mess. I've done nothing but cry in her presence since yesterday. I think to myself as I shut the shower off and grab the towel that the house elves had left out.
Thankfully the small mirror above the sink is clouded over from the effects of my shower so I can't see myself in the reflection. I clean my teeth half heartedly and tie my hair back whilst also using a drying spell. Dealing with my hair in the morning if I sleep with it wet would be a nightmare. I slowly make my back into the bedroom, and notice a glass of water and a potion on the bedside table. There is a note under the glass.
H,
Drink the potion, it's for the headache you no doubt have after crying, and please also finish the whole glass, I don't want you to get dehydrated. I'm just down the hall if you need anything else.
M x
Minerva's thoughtfulness wraps itself around me, and for the first time in a while I feel warm. I take the potion and gulp down the ice cold water from the glass. It refills automatically but I place it back on the table. As my headache does begin to wane I get into the bed, and pull the covers over me. I close my eyes but sleep seems to be as elusive tonight as it has been since Ron passed. I look at the clock on the wall, I've been laying here for 4 hours, it's currently 2am. I throw the covers off myself and rise from the bed, I walk down the hall to check on Rose and Hugo, there doors are slightly ajar, but I'm sure I closed them when I left earlier, I pop my head first around Roses door, and then Hugos, they are both still asleep, thankfully. I pull both doors too and notice Minerva's bedroom door is also slightly open. I make my way over on tiptoe, I'd hate to wake her, I can see a glow through the crack in the door. Minerva is sat up in her bed, her glasses on the end of her nose as she pursues a book. I don't think she's spotted me yet, so I could easily go back to my room, and summon the sleep draught that is in my bag. I'm hesitant to take it, as I don't want to become dependent on the potion to sleep. Just as I'm about to turn back to my room, Minerva raises her head and says, "Come in Hermione, I won't bite." Damn her teacher senses, I push the door all the way open and walk over and sit on the edge of the bed "can't sleep love?" She asks. I shake my head and start wringing my hands. I can see from the corner of my eye that she is placing her book on the bedside table and pulling the cover back in invitation. I feel my eyes widen and my throat dries. She chuckles, "Honestly, Hermione I'm not going to jump you, just come lay down with me, it seemed to work the other evening at your parents" I nod and get into the space she indicated. No sooner has my head hit her pillow am I asleep.
I wake the next morning, I have no idea where I am, then I remember my walk to Minervas room last evening, or early this morning depending on how you look at it. I can't hear anyone in the room with me, so I open my eyes and take a look around Minerva's inner sanctum. One wall is taken completely of books, the wall opposite the door has a huge window that overlooks the Quidditch pitch, the wall at the bottom of the bed holds Minerva's dresser and a dressing table that holds a few trinkets. I start to feel guilty snooping on Minerva's personal life when all she has done for me is offer her assistance. I decided to get up and go to my room to get changed. As I enter the hall I can hear voices in Minerva's office, and realise the children must be up already. It's not until I enter my room that I look at the time. It's 2 in the afternoon. I slept for almost 12 hours. I fell to the bed in shock, I haven't slept that long ever. But I have to admit to myself that I do feel better for it. I gulp down the water that is on the table and go and make myself presentable before going to see what Minerva has been doing to keep my children so occupied.
I walk quietly into the office and observe Minerva with my children. Rose is sitting quietly drawing in her notepad, and Hugo is playing chess, although it looks like Hugo has the measure of Minerva if the frown on her face is anything to go by, Ron taught him well. I kiss Rose on the head and announce my presence to the room.
"You should have woken me" I say to no one in particular.
"Poppycock" Minerva chortles as she makes her move against Hugo, "you need your sleep, I'm more than capable of keeping these two occupied for a few hours. Do you remember when you used to bring Rose over when she was first born, how you'd go for a lie down whilst I would look after her?" She looks over at me, with a smirk on her face and I feel myself blush for some reason.
"Of course I do. I wasn't questioning your ability to look after the children Min, rather letting me sleep half the day away" I murmur.
"Again Poppycock, you've had an emotional few days, you were bound to crash eventually, at least this way you will be clear headed for the family meal at Mollys in a few hours. I had the house elves put a stasis charm on some food for you, if you could manage a morsel I'm sure you will feel better" she says looking at me dead in the eyes. I can see there will be no getting out of this and nod my head in agreement. Minerva rises from her seat at the chess table and retrieves a plate of food for me from her desk and places it on the table in front of Rose and I. She then goes back to contemplate her next move against Hugo.
I grab the plate and can see a croissant and a few slices of toast. Rose snuggles up next to me as I slowly make my way through the food.
"You feeling a little better Mommy?" She inquires timidly.
"I'll get there sweetie, certainly better than yesterday. How about you? Is drawing helping?" I ask.
She rubs her hand over the cover of her notepad "I haven't really been able to concentrate on anything. I start something and then it just feels, I don't know, somehow wrong so I start another one" she reaches up to scratch her nose "When are we going to Grandma Mollys"
"She invited us over for tea, but did imply that she would like to spend some time with you and your brother. What time would you like to head over?" I ask as I place the empty plate back on the table. Before I can even lean back, the plate has been whisked away by the Hogwarts Houseelves. I'd forgotten how efficient they are.
"That's so cool" Rose whispers. "Erm, well Grandma usually has tea ready for when Grandpa finishes work around 6.30 so if we go over around 5 would that be OK?"
"Sure Honey" I say and run my fingers through her hair.
Hugo and Minerva are completely entranced with their game, I can see that Minerva's last move surprised Hugo and he's trying to figure out his next move. I sit in silence cuddling my little girl, and basking in this little slice of peace Minerva has created for us.
The game was intense and took a long time to finish. Rose and I talked a little more but then she started to sketch again in her book and was lost to me. I was content to sit in silence and bask in the presence of my children and best friend.
As Minerva, finally, admits defeat, and manages to get Hugo to agree to a rematch, we all get ready to floo over to the Burrow from Minerva's office.
I send the children through the floo first, they've done it many times so I'm not worried. I place my hand on Minerva's back to get her attention.
"Before we go through, I wanted to say thank you and I'm sorry. You were right last evening, I'm not ready for another relationship. But being with you, even as friends, is helping me immensely. So thank you Min." I lean up and give her a kiss on the cheek and step into the fireplace and state clearly "the burrow."