A/N: sorry for the long wait, but I'm back to struggle-town. Plus I'm not feeling so well, so staring at a screen is hard. Thank you for reading this, especially because I don't even know what I'm doing here. I really appreciate your thoughts, and I do apologize for going to angst-city again, I can't help it. Please tell me what you think of this one, it was a major struggle.

Elizabeth jumped in her seat the minute the door slammed shut that morning. "Shit," she cursed under her breath, her eyes frantically looking for a napkin to soak off the spilled coffee.

"When exactly were you going to tell me?" Mike marched towards the dining table, throwing the folders he was holding onto the chestnut surface that held their breakfast.

Henry narrowed his eyes at him before glancing back at his wife.

"Mike," Elizabeth started.

"Were you planning on giving me a heads up before it became public knowledge or did you plan on me finding out in the morning newspaper like every other citizen in this country?"

"I found out yesterday!" she raised her voice, "I need a minute to process this, can you give me that?"

"No!" he answered with authority. "I'm sorry, but you are not a private person anymore, Bess. You don't have the luxury of having a minute, not when this can go public in any second, and you know what they'll do to you when they find out."

She ran her hand through her hair, moving it from her face. The morning hasn't even started. She was still in her pajamas, still trying to digest everything, along with her abandoned breakfast that Henry insisted she have. The last thing she wanted to do was discuss this with Mike, she still hadn't told her family, her and Henry still had things to talk about, this had to wait. But the piercing eyes he had on her told her otherwise. She closed her eyes, the throbbing pain in her head becoming too much. She reached for the glass of water and gulped down a large sip before finally looking at him.

"Mike, this is not the cold war with Russia. This is my health you're talking about, so excuse me if I need to stop for one second and consider my next steps without contemplating the outcome of this."

"That's where you got this wrong. If you don't treat this as the cold war with Russia, you won't have consequences to think about because you'll be kicked out of this office and this presidency quicker than you think. If you want to win a second term, you might want to remember that."

"Do you understand that I might not live long enough for a second term?" Elizabeth's voice was now high, her jaw clenched, her hands closed in tight fists.

"Elizabeth," Henry said, moving his hand to find hers on the table.

"No, Henry, don't. It seems like he needs this reminder."

"Mike, give us a minute," Henry asked, but Mike didn't move. "Now!" Henry barked.

Lifting his hands in defeat, Mike retreated, walking out of the room and leaving them behind. Elizabeth hired him for a reason, he was there to say all the things that no one dared to say out loud, that's why he was so good at his job. But she was also one of his closest friends and only after hearing the words come out of her mouth, he realized he hadn't stopped to think about what this meant. This wasn't some crises he had to manage, not one that he could just help her solve by pulling a trick up his sleeve. This could kill her. He lost his beloved Gordon to this illness, and she was there to hold his hand through every damn second. He had to be there for her now. Even if it went against all that he worked on for so long. She needed him to first be a friend, and then someone who worked for her.

He pulled his phone out of his jacket and dialed a number she made him swear he will never call. "Russell, it's Mike."

"What did you do?" Russell called into the phone as he heard the defeated sound of his voice. "You know Carol will quite literally kill me if she knew I answered this phone call."

"I wouldn't have been calling if it wasn't important, and something tells me Carol will give you a pass on this one. I need your help."

Russell raised his brows. He knew Mike for quite some time now, and after working with him for a short period during the first couple of months of Elizabeth's presidency, he knew fair well that Mike didn't ask for help. Not from him, not from anyone. This had to be serious, and he was starting to understand he might not want to know more. But then again, he had to know.

"I'll meet you for coffee in an hour," Russell said, moving around the house to get his things in order.

Mike exhaled as he hung up the call. He glanced at the screen then, there was one more call he needed to make. This wasn't for him, he reminded himself, it was for her. It was still pretty early in San Francisco, but Mike knew that she was an early riser, so he didn't think twice before he clicked on her name in his phone.

"Well this is a nice surprise," she answered, somewhat exited to see his name on her screen.

"Hey Nadine," Mike called, already feeling the warmth of her voice envelope him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Nadine quipped.

"I need to ask you for a favor," he sighed heavily. "And I'm not sure you're going to like it."

Sinking into the nearest chair in her house, Nadine closed her eyes for a second. "I'm listening."

Elizabeth was pacing around the room, her heart pounding in her chest. Mike was right, she wasn't a private person anymore but the last thing she wanted was to have her private business splattered all across the morning papers. There were still so many things she had to figure out about her illness, that the fact that she was President, was pushed away. This was personal, and it would affect not just her, but now she also had to worry about it affecting the people she worked with, and possibly her entire legacy. It frustrated and upset her, how one thing just led to another and she felt like the floor was crumbling from under her. It was all starting to feel too much, like everything was falling apart – her, her marriage, her work. Everything she had, could be gone in a blink of an eye.

"Babe, please." Henry called, trying to stop her.

"I can't do this, Henry."

He took hold of her hands, stilling her movements. She finally looked at him and he wasn't surprised to find her wincing, that all too familiar look of her about to burst into tears. Her eyes conveyed pain and sadness. He learned over the years to read her every expression, her every look. He knew what she was feeling without so much as a hint from her. It pained him, to look at her, because he knew that even he couldn't help her.

"The Presidency or the battle?"

She blinked the tears in her eyes. "All of it."

Henry nodded. He understood, because the last thing he wanted was for this thing to become public news, for everyone in the world to talk about this. It was so intimate, so delicate, that he knew it would result in a lot of damage, both to her and her work. He could already picture the tabloids going wild, blaming him for cheating on her, such a first gentleman. But this wasn't about him, he reminded himself. This was about her, it had to be about her. Because everything was still hanging on a balance between them, having spent the night before trying to soothe her, unable to find the right words to actually calm her fears. Fears she didn't even voice, because how could she?

"We are going to figure this out, baby. Together." He spoke softly, his thumb wiping a stray tear, his eyes holding hers.

Elizabeth wanted to nod in agreement – they would figure it out, same as they did with everything else. But would they? This was so much bigger because it was tugging at all their fears and insecurities, and she wondered if they will ever get past it. It was an oxymoron, she realized – she couldn't bring herself to trust him, because this is what she did when she was afraid of being abandoned, but then this was exactly what terrified her – that her own past would ruin her future.

When she didn't respond, Henry stepped closer to her, his arms moving to wrap around her and pull her into his embrace. He kissed the top of her head, feeling the puff of air on his neck as she breathed out.

"I love you," he said when he still felt her tense against him. "So so much." He tightened his hold around her.

When her legs weakened, and a sob escaped her, she fell into him, her arms hanging loosely around his neck.

"Just, don't die on me, okay?"

Elizabeth let out a chuckle, and she felt like she was finally able to breathe. "Copy that," she muttered against his shoulder, immersing herself into his hold completely.