Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.
"Hello, my honey."
Tweek froze upon hearing the sweet words which had come from Craig. He turned to peer with wide eyes towards the blue-hatted boy. The pair of them were alone together at Stark's pond. Craig was perched on a nearby log. He was sat facing Tweek's direction, his eyes averted downwards.
With no one else around at the pond that starry night, Tweek was sure Craig had to be talking about him.
"Um…" Tweek stammered. "Hi, Craig."
"May I just say you're the most precious thing in my whole life?"
Tweek blinked in astonishment, taken aback what Craig was uncharacteristically saying so tenderly. "Huh?"
"Oh yes! I love the way you look at me with those beautiful eyes in that adorable face of yours. It always fills my heart with warmth!"
Tweek couldn't believe what he was hearing. It wasn't at all like Craig to pass such loving, affectionate words. The cynical boy usually spoke in such a tough, cynical manner - when he wasn't silently flipping people off.
"What?!"
"Yes, my honey. You are the only one I would never flip off." Craig's voice softened, his normally-monotones nasally voice filled with compassion. "Because I care about you."
A smile found its way onto Tweek's face. He couldn't help being overwhelmed by the wonderful words spoken to him. Every single one of them meant a lot - as they were coming from the very person he had longed to hear them from.
"Aww! Gee, Craig!" Tweek said happily. "I care about you too!"
"Wha-?" Craig lifted his gaze, staring at Tweek with wide eyes as he faced him for the first time that evening. "Tweek? Where did you come from?!"
"I've been standing here this whole time!" Tweek beamed. "Listening to every one of those words as sweet as honey you were saying to me."
"I wasn't taking to you, dumbass!" Tweek glared. "I was talking to Stripe!"
"WHAT?!"
The smile was wiped off Tweek's face over hearing the truth over the tender things Craig had just been saying. His jaw dropped as he noticed that curled up in the blue-hatted boy's lap was his pet guinea pig. The blonde was outraged that Craig had been saying such sweet words to a rodent - and not to him.
"So all those things you were just saying weren't towards me?!" Tweek cried, glaring irritably. "You were saying them to your stupid guinea pig!"
"Hey!" Craig glared. "Don't talk about Stripe that way, asshole!"
"Argh! You suck! Screw you, Craig!"
Twitching uncontrollably more than ever in his annoyance, Tweek turned and stormed off, heading to his father's coffee shop to calm down his jumbled feelings with an overdose of caffeine.
Craig remained at South Park, petting Stripe as the guinea pig lay in his lap. He observed as the boy he'd messed with the feelings of heading away from Stark's Pond. A blank look was on Craig's face as he wordlessly watched Tweek leave - while raising a finger to flip him off.
The end.