A/N: Thanks for clicking on this story. This is just gen, a little oneshot of OCD Levi. By no means is his "clean freak-ness" the root of his OCD in this, and I just wanted to make that clear before this is lumped in to the unhelpful stereotype that that's what OCD is, because it's not. He's still a clean freak, though. Enjoy the work!
Levi stared at the sheet of paper on the desk before him, illuminated by the row of candles on the side of his desk. A cool breeze from the open window made the flames dance every so often, and the light moving around on the page just added to the Captain's frustration as he touched his pen to the letter of the word he had written before.
He stared at the word he had just written on his paperwork. Debrief. That one, singular letter f was enough to make Levi want to rip the paper to shreds, but he held off. Before he continued his sentence, he searched the page for the nearest a or w. When he spotted a w, he touched his pen to the letter, making an unnecessary scratch on the page but clearing his slate to write the next word.
F stood for failure, fear, and everything Levi taxed himself to avoid. Writing it at the end of a word felt like signing his death certificate, like it would ensure that what he worked to avoid would come crashing down on him like a tsunami of misfortune.
W, on the other hand, stood for winning. That was the opposite of failure, and it was Levi's lifeline on paper. By making sure his pen last touched it, and not the malevolent letter f, he could forget about the calamities that would be consigned to him had he not completed the task. And a? Well, when there wasn't a w, a would do the job. It was a fine letter.
The page containing the contents of the day's earlier training itinerary was covered in splotches of incongruous ink that careened from the good letters on the page, and there was always a blank space after the abhorrent words ending in fs. Levi peered down at the sheet in disgust, wondering if he should send the paper to the crumpled pile building in the wastebasket and start again. Erwin probably wondered what the hell was going through his mind when he wrote out the reports, and to be completely honest, Levi didn't quite know either. He just wished it would stop so that he could actually get some work done.
Levi's gaze wandered to the faded bookshelf mounted on the wall behind his desk. The top two shelves were void of anything, but at his eye-level was a collection of philosophy books. They had been there before he turned this room into his office, and he had read each of them at least twice. It was always on the nights that the dead plagued his dreams. On those nights, they had offered an escape in the form of constructive thought. Now, his mind had ruined that for him as well with his constant and irrational scrutinization of every single letter. Reading to escape now only brought him from one nightmare to another.
Levi reminisced on when life was simple. Do something, move on. That was it.
Now, it was impossible to turn off the part of his brain that surveyed every minute, vivid detail of his every action. From stepping off his bed left foot, right foot, right foot, left foot in the morning, to touching his knife and spoon twice before his fork at meals, to locking the stable doors four times so that the horses wouldn't get out. Which was a ridiculous thought, the rational part of Levi said, because it had never even happened before, and there were two Survey Corps members who stood on watch outside the castle every night. But, the other part of Levi argued, nothing bad has happened, because you locked it four times.
Every training exercise and expedition began with Levi polishing the blades clean. First the blades on his left, then his right, then the ones on his right again, and then the left. The spotlessness secured the safety of his squad. One speck of dust on the metal, one thumbprint making itself known, and the whole process had to be repeated. And at the end of the day, when they returned from outside the walls with bodies strewn on the cart for burial and after passing through the torrent of disapproving townsfolk, Levi always did it again.
A knock on the closed office door interrupted Levi from his thoughts, and he grit his teeth at the prospect of someone interrupting him at… what time was it now? The sun had long since set. In the sky outside, planets had risen far above the stars. Most of the Survey Corps should have been sleeping. Or, at the very least, trying to sleep.
Not bothering to conceal his snarl, Levi swung open the door to be neck-to-face with the one and only Eren Jaeger, who stumbled a step back at the closeness between the two and fumbled his arms into an abysmal salute. "Captain! Sir!"
Levi crossed his arms, unpleased by Jaeger's attempt at formality. "What is it, brat? Shouldn't you be in bed?"
"I was on my way, Sir, but Commander Erwin asked me to collect today's paperwork."
Levi's glowered at Eren's words, and the boy's brow quivered. "Sir? I'm sorry for interrupting you, I know it's late-"
Levi gave Eren a wave of dismissal. "It's not you, Jaeger. I'm just pissed in general. It's not your damn fault Erwin sent for paperwork."
Eren's fist unclenched and dismally fell from his chest. "Then… what is it, Sir?"
"You can go tell Erwin that it isn't done." Levi observed the unkempt hair atop Eren's head, and the dark shadows under the shifter's dead eyes. "Then get some sleep. You look like shit."
Eren looked to the ground. "To be honest, Sir, that's what I was doing before I ran into Commander Erwin. It didn't pan out."
"So, you were wandering the halls looking for something to do because you can't sleep?"
Eren nodded. "I'd prefer to be helpful instead of doing nothing. If you want, I could help with it. And give it to the Commander by morning."
Perking up an eyebrow my nothing more than a millimetre, Levi actually considered the kid's offer. He doubted he would be getting much sleep tonight either, considering how he was wide awake and didn't even notice how the much of the night had already escaped him.
Levi let out a sigh and stepped out of the doorframe, making way for Jaeger to enter the office. "Get in here, then, brat. Before I change my mind."
Giddily and with renewed spirit in his eyes, Eren swiftly entered the room and Levi closed the door most of the way, leaving it open just a crack, in case anybody else were to unexpectedly show up. If anybody was up at this time of night, it would be Hange, being kept awake by the perpetual scheming in her brain that never seemed to stop, not even in the dead of night.
While Eren pulled a chair up to the opposite side of his Captain's desk, Levi had split his pile of due paperwork in half, giving Eren the portion that could be done with the knowledge of someone in his rank. Meanwhile, Levi gathered sheets that only required his signature, which was void of the wicked letter that chilled in the back of his mind while he scribbled his pen across the pages.
He didn't even bother reading what was on most sheets. Every week, it was practically the same paperwork, and after reading one report from the higher-ups, he'd read them all. They rarely required action on his part, and the only reason Levi had set upon doing this now was to not seem unoccupied while Eren flourished his pen across his own paper.
Levi's eyes sometimes left his own work to gaze at Eren's. The boy had surprisingly neat handwriting that looked like it would suit Arlert or Ackerman more than his dishevelled demeanour, and he seemed expertly focused despite the night now being well more than half over.
The dim light of the office was raised just a little when the door creaked open, and Levi knew who was at the door before even looking up.
Hange poked her head through the room's opening, a common occurrence for the Captain, but her presence startled Eren straight out of his skin. "Hello, boys! What's the occasion?"
Eren put his pen down, now thoroughly distracted, and clamped his hands together on the top of the desk. "It's just a paperwork party."
"Was a paperwork party," Levi grunted. "Thanks for the interruption, shitty glasses."
Hange's smile only brightened as she held up a kettle in her hand. "I walked by earlier and noticed your open door. So, I did the only natural thing anyone would do. Hmm… I thought you were alone. We should have enough for one cup each, then."
Levi didn't object to Hange entering the office and pulling a third chair up to the desk, but did frown at her leaving the door open. With a huff, the Captain stood up from his seat to shut it completely, and collect three teacups from a cupboard in the corner of the room.
Hange's tea was acceptable, and from the lengthy amount of time Levi had served with her, he couldn't deny that her brewing was a lot better than it was before he showed her how to not make a cup of tea so repugnant. For safe measure, Levi removed the majority of paperwork that was completed from the desk, and slid it into a drawer. He could give it to Erwin after breakfast, and hopefully be off before he was questioned as to why most of it was done with remarkable penmanship, and remained free of the ink blots he had gotten so used to reading over.
He slid the only coaster on the desk towards Eren, whom he could already see spilling his tea after becoming too engrossed in an argument, or sneezing, or some repulsive act that would shake the steaming liquid out of his cup. Though, he doubted the former wouldn't happen with Hange's snoozefest theories, or the latter with how dust-free his office was. Still, he could never be too careful.
Before he knew it, the sun was creeping back up in the sky, and the trio had chased the night away with conversation. For the most part, Levi observed Hange and Eren babble about titan this, titan that, and only butted in when he felt the need to deliver a nicely-placed insult or correction. But when the morning finally arrived, Levi found that he wasn't put to sleep by Hange, or driven up the wall by a clumsy Eren. Instead, he was peacefully preoccupied by their antics so much that not a single invasive thought dared to cross his mind. It was no solution, but for the first time in a while, Levi didn't think twice when picking up his spoon to stir his tea.