It was a sad fact of TK's working life that he didn't even flinch when they were called out for a GSW victim. Being a firefighter in New York meant that he'd seen his fair share of gunshot wounds, and while he'd never quite gotten used to seeing the destruction a bullet could inflict on the human body, he had gotten used to steeling himself and creating a mask of pure professionalism to get through the call.

It never occurred to him that there might be reason to worry until they were in the rig and pulling out of the 126, listening to the muffled voice of dispatch.

"EMS 126, please be advised you are responding to an officer involved shooting. Scene has been secured and you are safe to proceed."

The words were surely meant to be comforting, but instead TK felt the first stirrings of unease start to twist through his stomach. Nancy, who was behind the wheel, glanced over at him, biting her lip a little.

"I'm sure everything's fine," she said, a little too brightly and a little too confidently to be believable. She didn't even mention Carlos' name, as if uttering it out loud would be bad luck.

"Of course it will," Tommy said briskly, eyes never leaving the road ahead.

"Uh huh," TK mumbled, trying to appear casual as he looked out the window and toyed with the phone in his pocket.

Then, when Nancy was focused on the road once more, TK took it out and surreptitiously typed out a message.

Hey babe, just checking in - how's your shift been? I'm thinking about picking up thai for dinner tonight.

Light, breezy, and purposefully casual, and yet TK knew that Carlos would still likely see through it. But TK was fine with that and would happily endure Carlos' gentle teasing at his worry, as long as it meant that his boyfriend was alright.

He told himself that the text would be the end of it, that he'd send it and he'd put his phone away for the rest of the trip and focus on preparing himself for what would be ahead. But when there was no buzz signalling Carlos' return message, TK found himself yanking it back out just to check that he had reception and the text had actually been delivered. And there it was, in little grey letters 'delivered' but not 'read'. TK put his phone away and tried to tell himself that it didn't mean anything.

Emphasis on tried.

Carlos could be in the middle of a call and unable to get to his phone, or getting lunch for him and his partner, or just hadn't heard the text come in. Really there were plenty of good reasons why Carlos hadn't answered him yet.

Plenty of reasons, TK repeated to himself.

He was still telling himself that when they pulled up at the scene, a normal enough looking house if not a little rundown, whose front lawn was dotted with uniformed officers. A bunch of them were clustered around a handcuffed man being shoved towards one of the cop cars but TK didn't let himself look closely at them as they hurried out of the ambulance; they were here for the victim and no one else.

Even as he thought that, TK felt his eyes sweep briefly over the officers congregated, hoping, or maybe even praying that he would find a familiar, beautiful face among them. He told himself it didn't mean anything when he didn't find him, but that didn't stop his heart from sinking further into his stomach.

They hastened up the path, Tommy leading the way, and TK once again steeled himself against what he might see inside that house.

And he thought he was ready, right up until he caught sight of Officer Mitchell standing on the porch being comforted by another officer. In all TK's interactions with the woman, he had never seen her expression be anything other than stern when she was on the job, relaxing only fractionally when she was in a social setting. And yet now she appeared near tears, reaching up to touch her face, only to stop because of the blood her hands were covered in.

Blood.

TK stumbled, only regaining his footing because Nancy clamped a hand on his shoulder. She asked if he was okay but he barely heard her as Mitchell realised they were there and turned to him with a crumbling expression.

"TK," she whispered. "You shouldn't-"

TK ignored her, ignored Tommy's words of warning, Nancy asking if he was sure, and took the stairs two at a time before bursting into the house. Neither Tommy nor Nancy said anything else as they followed him down the short hallway into a small living room, where Carlos lay on the carpet, blood stain slowly growing around him. More officers were crouched around him, keeping pressure on the wound, but they moved to make way for TK, Nancy, and Tommy as they swooped in.

"Took it high on the shoulder," one told him, uniform wet with blood. Carlos' blood. TK shuddered but didn't so much as hesitate to drop to his knees beside his boyfriend. "Must have just missed his vest."

"Hey baby," Carlos said, as eyes, already hazy from blood loss, settled on him. Or at least, that's what TK thought he was trying to say, but the words were slurred and muffled, taking more effort than they should.

"Don't-" TK had to pause and swallow roughly. "Don't talk, okay? Just focus on breathing." He found Carlos' hand and squeezed it briefly before taking the sponges Nancy was offering him.

"TK, you and Nancy stop this bleeding, we're not going to be able to do anything for him if he bleeds out here."

TK didn't know how Tommy could sound so calm when he felt like he was breaking apart with every shallow rise and fall of Carlos' chest that seemed to grow more and more laboured as time passed. But he latched onto that calmness and forced himself to slip into the same mask of professionalism, keeping his movements methodical.

A mask that only broke when Tommy exhaled sharply and looked up from monitoring his vitals. "He's fading, we need to go."

Nancy ran to get the gurney while TK leaned over Carlos, keeping one hand pressed firmly to the wound. He used the other to cup his boyfriend's cheek, stroking along his jaw gently with his thumb. "Stay with me, okay baby? You stay with me."

Carlos' breathing hitched, a noise of protest at the pressure on his wound emerging from his throat, but he managed a nod. "Always," he gurgled. "Always gonna fight to stay with you."

TK bit back a sob but nodded, ducking his head to press a brief kiss to his forehead. Then Nancy was back and they were getting him prepped for travel.

"Is this what it's like for Carlos?"

Nancy started a little; they'd both been so quiet for so long, her staring into space, while TK sat looking down at his hands, still tacky with blood. With his boyfriend's blood.

"Hmmm?"

"This, sitting here, waiting for news, feeling terrified that it'll be bad. Is that what it's like for him every time I land myself in a hospital bed?"

"Pretty much."

TK sighed and straightened, leaning back in the uncomfortable hospital chair. "I owe him an apology, huh?"

"I think you owe him more than that," Nancy said, nudging him gently. "He'll be okay, you know?" she whispered. "He has to be."

TK wished she was right, wished that the universe believed in fairness, but he'd seen enough, been through enough to know that it didn't always work like that. So, for now, all he could do was sit there and hope that he'd get the chance to give that apology, to grovel for making his boyfriend ever worry like he was right then.

The pair lapsed back into silence but they didn't have to wait long until a doctor in a white coat was finding them, asking, "Mr Strand? You're Mr Reyes' partner?"

"Yes," TK said, getting to his feet. "Is he…"

"He made it through surgery just fine, we successfully extracted the bullet but it did fracture his collarbone so he'll have to wear a sling for a while. Our biggest concern now is the amount of blood he lost, so he'll have to stay in hospital while we give him some transfusions."

"But he's going to be okay?" TK clarified, relief so intense coursing through him that he swayed on his feet and Nancy had to put a hand on his elbow.

"Yes. He should be waking up from the anaesthesia soon if you want to see him."

"Yeah, yes," TK said, stumbling over his words as well as his feet as he made to follow the doctor down the hallway. For a heartbeat he hesitated, glancing back at Nancy, but she smiled and waved him on.

Carlos was just stirring when TK made it to his room, crossing it quickly to perch on the edge of the bed.

"Hey, hey baby," he said softly.

Carlos' eyes jumped around the room in confusion for a moment before settling on TK, relief shining in them as he beheld his boyfriend.

"What happened?"

"You got shot," TK explained, hating the taste of the words in his mouth. "And scared me half to death in the process. But you're going to be okay."

"Payback," Carlos said hoarsely, the barest trace of a smile flickering across his face.

"Well, this is the only payback you get to dish out," TK joked, even as he traced a hand reverently down Carlos' face just to reassure himself that he was here, he was alive, and he was awake. "Deal?"

"Deal," Carlos agreed, before reaching up with his good hand to tug TK down for a kiss.

This is my first time writing Tarlos so I'm very scared/excited to be sharing this with you. I'm not 100% happy with this but it's for Febuwhump so I don't have time to mull on it. So please be kind with some constructive criticism/telling me what you thought xx