In Riften, there's a Dunmer woman named Niluva Hlaalu. She's not a major character – the most notable thing about her is her skooma addiction. She's just another sad story, in a city full of them. But she has a father she refuses to go back to – a farmer in Windhelm named Belyn. A father who never speaks of her. What happened to push them apart? I explore that in this piece, through a series of letters between them.
Belyn & Niluva Hlaalu. Platonic, familial. Angst/hurt. Safe for work.
Things Left Unsaid
20 Frostfall 4E198
Niluva,
I'm sure this letter comes as a surprise to you. But why should it? You should've known I wasn't going to just let you leave, and not find out where. If you wanted to hide it from me, you should've paid off Ulindil the same as Alfarinn. He was all too happy to help a father.
Why did you do it? And why Riften? That place is nothing but a scumhole. I raised you better than to mix with people like that! I've heard tell that the wet-skins are allowed to walk the streets there, free as they please. If that's true, then your mother must be rolling in the ash, right now.
I don't know what spurred this foolishness for you, but it ends now. You're too old to run off like a child, and too young to be on your own. I've enclosed twenty gold in the packet – take it and hire the next carriage back to Windhelm.
I expect you home by Loredas.
Father
24 Frostfall 4E198
Father,
Please find enclosed your twenty gold. I won't be using it, and certainly not to come back to Windhelm. Damn Ulindil for not minding his own.
Why Riften? Why not? You call this a scumhole, and then go back to your slum every night when you're done on the farm. At least here, I can choose where I live, instead of being made to wallow in filth because of my skin and ears. I've found better company here by far than the idiots you try and cozy up to. And it's warm. I didn't find last night's piss frozen in the chamber pot, when I woke up this morning. That's more than I could say for Windhelm. I won't do another winter in that blizzarding hell.
Which is it? Am I too young, or too old? I'm four and twenty. Two years older than you were, when you left Tear. I can make my own choices, and this is what I choose.
Leave mother out of it.
I'll write again when I'm settled. Maybe you can find it in yourself to be supportive.
Niluva
30 F. Fall 4E198
Why should I leave her out of it? We're the reason you're hereto be giving me grief, and she would be ashamed to know that you left your own blood behind like it was nothing. Without even asking, or giving me warning! Let alone the company you've lowered yourself with.
How could you be so selfish? What of the farm, our livelihood? You know I can't tend it alone. Have you thought of that? Near on twenty years I bled and sweated to bring you up by myself. And this is the thanks I get?
How are you planning to live? Farming is all you know, and that's all but finished until spring. In a city like that, a young woman alone...I shudder to think.
You've seen the gold. Keep it. Use it, and come home. I've had enough of this madness.
Your Father
8 Sun's Dawn 4E198
Father,
Let me make myself clear: if you send this gold back again, I'm dumping it in the canal. I don't need your gold, or your help, and I certainly don't need your judgment.
This is why I left home with no warning. Exactly this. You think your way is the only right way, even when you have nothing to show for it. It doesn't matter how hard you work, those nords will never accept you. You'll never have their respect. You look at me, and see a fool. You just don't notice the mirror in my hand.
Of course I remember those years. How could I forget? After mother died, nothing was the same. Nothing I did was good enough for you, unless it was perfect. But people aren't perfect. I know I'm not. And I must be certainly less than even you thought I was, if you would imply that I'm whoring myself to make ends meet. Thank you, for your sterling regards.
Don't try to guilt me with nonsense about the farm. We both know Adisla will see to you, like always. If that's not enough, you can hire more help from the city. Unless, you have difficulty finding someone who will work for an elf...?
It's best if you don't write for a while.
Niluva
22 S. Dawn 4E198
Apologies, your Highness. Have I waited long enough to suit you?
I had no idea you had so little respect for me. And after everything I've done.
This place isn't good enough for you? The life I've built isn't good enough? Fine. Have it your way. Stay in that reeking pit as long as you'd like, and see how it works out for you. Dump the gold, if you're fool enough. Or use it to come crawling back. I'll be waiting here for an apology. Since you're such a mature adult now, the choice is up to you.
And if you're half as smart as you think you are, you'll see that I'm right. You'll never make it on your own in a city like Riften. That's just how life works. I pray you get the chance to learn.
26th of Sun's Dawn, 4E198
To one mister Belyn Hlaalu of Windhelm,
On behalf of Jarl Laila Law-Giver of Riften, we at Honorhall Orphanage wish to thank you for your kind generosity. Your donation in the sum of twenty septims was gladly received by our head administrator, and will be put towards the care of our orphaned charges. In times such as these, those individuals moved the help the helpless are doing the Divine's most important work.
We thank you again for your contribution, and hope this letter finds you in good health. May Mara bless and keep you.
Yours in good faith,
Constance Michelle, Honorhall, Riften
P.S – Please find enclosed a missive from the servant who couriered your donation. It has not been disturbed, and we include it upon their request.
Happy now? I'll be damned if I'm coming back, so you can think you've won. I WILL make it on my own in this city, and then it will be you who learns. —N
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