Hyperdimension Neptunia is owned by Sega, Idea Factory and Compile Heart and whomever else worked on it.
This one's thick with info bombs.
Because of a screw up on the website, I had to delete and re-upload the chapter.
Chapter 18
"There you are!" Neptune cried out as she, Compa and IF finally cornered the ninja that had stolen the console. The ninja had led them to the arena where the Gold Third had faced the CPUs.
The ninja fidgeted and muttered something.
"Ah, just like a ninja," IF said approvingly. "You won't speak so easily."
"Well, that, uh..." The ninja muttered nervously and muttered something.
"GRR!" IF growled, her eyes going blank and white. "SPEAK UP, DAMMIT!" This, unsurprisingly, only had the effect of making the ninja stutter and shuffle as IF stormed up to him.
"Woah, Iffy's lost it." Neptune laughed nervously. "I've never seen her like this." Her daughter never acted like this, which made sense since Plutia scared such a thing out of her when she was in pre-school.
"Well, Iffy's always been pretty straight-forward." Compa told Neptune, "she doesn't do well with the shy types."
"Huh?" Neptune blinked in confusion. "...I see..." She closed her eyes and transformed. "Alright, Iffy, please stop tormenting him." Purple Heart floated forward. "Mr. Ninja, will you return the console to us? I'd rather not have to fight if we can avoid it."
"I apologize," the ninja's stuttering cleared up and he took a fighting stance. "But on the orders of my master, I, Steamax, cannot allow you to take that console."
Purple Heart sighed and nodded. "Very well, I understand fighting for one's master after all." Pulling out her katana, she pointed it at him. "Then allow me, Purple Heart, to be your opponent."
Steamax nodded at her. "Yes."
(-)
Meanwhile...
B-Sha sighed as she sat in the park and looked at the pond. "What am I doing? I want to be a Hero, I thought with this power I'd be a Hero, but all I am is a loser who gets scared at the thought of facing a dogoo..."
"Yeah, dogoos can be scary." A young sounding voice caused her to jerk and she turned to see a young-looking girl with short, gray hair and was wearing pretty drab clothing over-all. "One time I got caught by some high level ones and they licked me out of my clothes and wouldn't stop licking until mommy came and beat them all up to save me."
B-Sha shivered at the thought of being stuck and licked by dogoos until she was saved. "That... That's horrible."
"Uh huh." The girl nodded. "Mommy told me that it's okay to be scared of monsters." She looked a little sad. "But you know..." She held up a hand and a black orb appeared over her hand. Before B-Sha could react, black tendrils snapped out, wrapping around the blonde's arms and legs, lifting her up and holding her spread in the air. "You seem like a good person, so this should help you."
"H...How?!" B-Sha tried to move but found her arms and legs weren't budging.
"By making you unafraid of monsters." The gray-haired girl said as the orb shot off of her hand and engulfed B-Sha. While B-Sha was crying out while engulfed in the energy, the girl pulled up a screen. "And how are you doing, Stadia?"
"I found this mouse with wings that was saying something about Compa's thighs or something, Ouya." Stadia shrugged and held up an out cold Warechu. "I don't know what he was doing, but he was crying about Compa rejecting him."
"Well... Use him then." Ouya told her. "We should... WAIT! NOT THERE!"
Stadia blinked in confusion as the orb left her hand and engulfed Warechu. "Uh... Ooops."
"YOU STUPID IDIOT!" Ouya yelled in frustration. "Why are you such a scatterbrained idiot outside of your HDD state?!"
"Blame my mom, not me." Stadia grumbled as Warechu grew in size. "Shit, this is bigger than I thought."
"This is why you should have brought him to the park!" Ouya yelled and sighed as B-Sha suddenly glowed gold and her eyes turned gold. "Ah..." Ouya took a step back, gulping softly as B-Sha glared at her. "Hello?"
"Monsters... MUST DIE!" She pulled out a golden bazooka and pointed it at Ouya, who let out a shriek and ran of it while B-Sha chased after her.
(-)
Elsewhere...
"And we win." Purple Heart said as IF's Demonic Inferno forced Steamax to his knees. "Now you will return the console to us."
"If it's come to this, then..." Steamax reached behind him, causing Purple Heart to tense up.
"A trump card?" Purple Heart asked and floated backwards. "Iffy, Compa, be on guard, perhaps he transforms into some sort of horrible abomination."
"Not... Quite!" Steamax huffed and threw something into the air.
"...Magazines?" IF asked, confused.
"HIYAH!" Steamax pulled out a short sword and swung it, slicing the magazines, causing the pages to scatter around the girls.
"...That was pointless." IF pointed out, getting nods from Purple Heart and Compa while Steamax started to chuckle. "What's so funny?"
"Look at the pages more closely." Steamax chuckled as he forced himself to his feet.
"More closely?" Purple Heart asked and looked at the pages, her eyes widening as she saw what was on them. "What the?"
"Th-these are naughty books!" Compa gasped in horror. "You can't look at these until you're an adult!"
"What the hell?!" IF yelled in shock. "Why the hell would you have these on you, you perv?!"
"It's my Fi-Five Greed Jutsu! Fall prey to your own lust!"
IF sweat-dropped. "Five Greed Jutsu? All you did was scatter a bunch of dirty magazines." She turned to look at Purple Heart. "...Nep what are you doing?"
Purple Heart had a couple of pages in her hands and was tilting her head. "...This is unacceptable!" IF sighed in relief, knowing if Neptune was acting like this, then at least things would be taken care of quickly. "THIS is your ultimate perverted technique?!" Purple Heart asked, disappointment in her voice as she threw the pages to the ground. "You expect to defeat me with my lusts when you have such... BASIC pornography?"
"...What?" Both IF and Steamax asked at the same time while Compa's face was turning red.
"At the very least have tentacle porn or S&M." Purple Heart gave Steamax an annoyed look. "And even then, you better have some pretty hard-core stuff. This doesn't even make me blush." Both Steamax and IF gawked at her while Compa was screwing her eyes shut and plugging her ears.
"LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR THIS! LA LA LA!"
"What?" Both IF and Steamax asked again, completely baffled by what Purple Heart was saying.
"By the way..." Purple Heart suddenly grinned as she floated over to Steamax, who let out a squeak. "You were acting really shy around Iffy..." Her voice changed from one of disappointment to a rather... Breathless voice as she got closer and closer to Steamax, who was trying to scramble backwards and fell onto his butt. "Could it be... You're not used to girls?"
"Y..yes.." Steamax let out a high pitched yelp as Purple Heart gently grabbed his right hand. "L-lady Neptune?"
"Oh my, so you have no clue what to do if I did this?" Purple Heart asked and brought his hand to her mouth and stuck his middle finger into her mouth, where she sucked on it.
Steamax let out a sound that was a garbled mess while IF's face was bright red.
"LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR THIS! LA LA LA!"
Purple Heart pulled her lips off of his finger with a loud smack. "Hmm? You're so cute, getting so red." She reached forward and cupped his cheek as he continued to sputter and stammer. "Surely you want..." She put herself up against him. "More than just this, right?"
Shuddering, Steamax suddenly slumped backwards, out cold.
"Oh dear, he fainted." Purple Heart sighed and stepped back. "And it was getting so good too."
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, NEP?!" IF yelled, her face red.
"LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR THIS! LA LA LA!"
"I almost agree with Compa! WHAT WAS THAT?!"
Purple Heart chuckled softly. "I couldn't help it, it was so amusing to tease him. Besides, he reminded me of my son-in-law. I used to tease him all the time because he reacted like that."
"...I'm almost afraid to ask," IF began, her face still red while Compa had gone quiet. "...Who did he marry?"
Purple Heart smiled at IF. "Your husband was a lot like this ninja."
"...Oh, that makes... WHAT?!" IF screamed in shock. "HUSBAND?! WHAT?! NO WAY! NO HOW! I AM *NOT* ATTRACTED TO THAT KIND OF PERSON!"
Purple Heart sighed and transformed back into her human form. "Yeah, I know." Neptune felt another rush of sadness filling her but she squashed it down. "You aren't the Iffy that I raised from a little tyke in diapers after all." Or wet herself when really scared, but then again, Iris Heart was rather terrifying, even if she was focused on someone else. 'Which is probably why my girl fell for someone like that.'
IF twitched at the thought of marrying someone like Steamax. "No way, I'm not even attracted to guys!"
"Aww..." Neptune pouted upon hearing that. "Your husband was a good guy and your kids were SO CUTE!" She pulled out a photo and Compa slid up next to Neptune, gushing about the kids that were in the picture.
"Ugh..." IF groaned and shivered before a loud explosion was heard in the distance.
"What was that?" Compa asked, confused.
"It sounded like it came from Planeptune." Steamax said as he stood up, shocking IF and Compa while Neptune nodded.
"Yeah, it did, didn't it?" Neptune asked and grabbed the console. "Can you get us there, big guy?" She asked and ran over to him.
"Of course, Lady Neptune." Steamax nodded as Neptune climbed up on his shoulders. "Come on you two."
"How are you not a mess right now?" IF asked as she climbed onto Steamax as well while he picked up Compa.
Neptune giggled, knowing why Steamax would think clearly after acting like how he did. 'After all, Iffy's husband stared down Sadie after she caught him and Iffy having pre-marital fun.' Calming Plutia down when she thought that IF was being taken advantage of was not fun.
After making sure everyone was settled properly, Steamax quickly escaped the arena, rushing back to Planeptune City as fast as he could.
"WHEE!" Which, apparently, was fast enough for Compa and Neptune to enjoy it.
IF was thankful that she didn't have to look at Steamax at all. 'Me? And someone like this? No way!' She mentally raged at the mere thought of marrying someone like Steamax. '...AND KIDS?! What the hell?!' Not only had she never thought about having kids before, the thought of her allowing someone to get her pregnant, and apparently multiple times, just didn't seem natural.
(-)
When they arrived back in Planeptune City, they were greeted by damages to buildings, streets and cars while people fled in terror.
"What's going on?" Compa asked and let out a shriek as a bulky, four-legged creature suddenly came barreling around a corner. "What's that?!"
"CHUUUUU!" The creature let out a loud cry as it ran for a few more feet before spinning and sliding to a stop as a blonde girl ran out after it.
"Get back here, you monster!" B-Sha yelled and fired a shot from her bazooka at the monster.
"What's going on?!" IF yelled while Compa stared at the creature and gasped, pointing at it.
"Mister Mouse?!"
"If that is indeed Sir Warechu, I wonder what happened to him." Steamax said. "Lady Neptune, we need to do something."
"Yeah." Neptune nodded while she looked around and narrowed her eyes as she saw ripples across the buildings from B-Sha's missiles missing Warechu and hitting the buildings while Warechu tore a street light out of the ground with his mouth and swung it at B-Sha, who jumped out of the way. "Where are... A-HA!" She pointed, recognizing a familiar multi-colored outfit. "Stadia!" Neptune ran for the girl, who was away from the action.
The brunette stiffened as she heard her name being called. Turning her head, she saw Neptune running up to her. "What do you want?" She hissed at Neptune.
"This is your fault, Stadia!" Ouya yelled as she popped her head out from around the corner. "This wasn't supposed to happen! We were going to have this happen in the park, not downtown and..."
Neptune sighed and tapped her arm. "I don't care who did what, I want to know what happened." IF, Compa and Steamax walked up to them as Ouya explained what happened and Neptune sighed. "And you just..."
"You know we can't say no to the person in charge of us." Stadia hissed and Neptune felt her shoulders slumping. "Shit like..." She trailed off at the dirty look Neptune gave her. "Sorry, but stuff like this is why you should have killed us!"
Neptune shook her head. "You know why I won't do that. And I finally found a way to fix this for good. ...Maybe."
Stadia scoffed as Ouya stood next to her while B-Sha and Warechu battled. "I doubt it, you had centuries to fix us by now."
Neptune sighed and shook her head. "Mister Ninja, can you get Warechu away from B-Sha while I try to calm her down?"
"Of course, Lady Neptune." Steamax nodded and ran towards the battle.
Neptune looked at Stadia and Ouya. "You two, stay here."
"We don't take orders from you." Stadia said, her eyes narrowed at Neptune, who gave her a pleading look. "...Fine, but if our boss makes us move..."
"I know." Neptune nodded, smiling at her. "I promise you though, this time, I'll save both of you."
Stadia snorted as they ran off. "You told us the same lie when you sealed us in our human forms." She looked at Ouya, who touched her arm. "...What?"
"Maybe she's not lying this time? And you know that she couldn't take away our HDD forever." Ouya pointed out and Stadia huffed, crossing her arms and looking away. "Please, give her..."
"She sealed us up!" Stadia spun and growled at Ouya as the fight raged on around them. Ouya saw tears in Stadia's eyes. "We may as well have been killed by her." She balled her hands into fists. "Why won't she just put us out of our misery already?!"
"You know..."
"What are you two doing?" A familiar voice entered their heads, causing them to stiffen. "You should be helping the rat out."
"Uzu..." Stadia began.
"In fact, why don't you two do it in HDD as soon as Nepsy and the others are done with B-Sha? She ended up being completely useless."
As the presence left their mind, both girls sighed and looked at each other tiredly before running towards where Steamax was keeping Warechu busy. The only solace they had was that there was minimal damage to the buildings and none of the citizens had gotten hurt from all of this.
(-)
Meanwhile...
"B-Sha..." Purple Heart looked at her friend with a troubled expression. "Please... You aren't fighting monsters."
"You lie!" B-Sha snarled at Purple Heart and fired her bazooka at Purple Heart, who let out a yell as she was blasted into a building. She turned and pointed her bazooka at IF and Compa, only for them to jump out of the way and run in opposite directions, surrounding her.
"Compa, now!" IF yelled as a magic circle formed in front of her before a dark purple energy stream raced out.
"Alright!" Compa nodded as she held her hands into the shape of a heart, which allowed her magical energy to turn into a five foot wide pink heart and the two attacks slammed into B-Sha from either side, creating an explosion that sent her tumbling backwards.
"You've been practicing, I see." Purple Heart smiled, glad that her friends had come up with something unique.
"We did a lot of missions together over the past three years." IF smirked at the CPU. "We can't just rely on you forever."
"Monsters must..." B-Sha growled as she got up and staggered. "Monsters are scary and hurt children and need to die."
"B-Sha..." Purple Heart looked at the blonde girl with sadness. "You're right, B-Sha." She floated towards the blonde, who glared at her. Purple Heart held her arms to the side. "If destroying monsters will keep people safe, then go ahead, destroy me." B-Sha growled and pointed her bazooka at Purple Heart. "But when was the last time a monster ever talked to you?"
B-Sha blinked in confusion, her eyes flickering between blue and gold. "Nep... Nep... No, monster... Monsters are scary... But Nep Nep is..."
"A giant marshmallow?" IF asked and B-Sha nodded.
"...Marshmallow?" Purple Heart asked with a pout. "I find that offensive, Iffy! At least compare me to a chocolate chip cookie."
"But you're chubby and squishy like a marshmallow, Nep Nep." Compa smiled at Purple Heart, who gave Compa a flat look.
"But monsters..."
"B-Sha..." Purple Heart looked at the blonde. "If you're scared of monsters, know that it's okay. Even I get scared of monsters."
B-Sha gripped her head as her eyes flashed between gold and blue rapidly. "But... Nep Nep is so brave! She doesn't get scared of the monsters!"
"That's not true." Purple Heart shook her head. "Just because I fight monsters doesn't mean I'm not afraid of them. I just know that if I don't fight them then someone will get hurt. Bravery isn't about not being scared, it's about knowing what you're scared of and pushing through it."
"You lie, there's nothing you're afraid of." B-Sha said, though her voice was clearly showing confusion.
Purple Heart shook her head. "No... There's one thing I'm terrified of above all else and it's..." There was a loud thump and she and B-Sha both turned to see Steamax crashing down near them. "Steamax?! Are you okay?"
"Ngh, forgive me, Lady Neptune, but Sir Warechu is too strong for me." Steamax groaned. "And then he has help."
Purple Heart frowned in confusion before taking a step back as she saw who was next to the large, bestial form of Warechu. "...Ouya, Stadia, no..." She trembled as she recognized the looks in their eyes.
B-Sha looked at Purple Heart and then looked at Ouya and Stadia. "These two are who Nep Nep is terrified of?"
"Sorry, but our boss won't let us put it off anymore." Ouya smiled apologetically. Both Ouya and Stadia stiffened for a moment before sighing. "It seems our boss wants to know why we have problems with you."
Stadia gave Purple Heart a flat stare. "You really should have killed us, then this wouldn't have to happen." The two started to glow softly. "Really, mom, what did you think was going to happen by sparing us?"
"Let's fight now, mommy!" Ouya smiled at Purple Heart, who only had despair on her face as she looked at them.
The two looked at each other and nodded. "ACCESS!" They yelled at the same time, being engulfed in white light.
DUN DUN DUUUUUN!