As always, thank you to all the people that reviewed.
SmalllittleCagedBird: Thank you! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
Guest: Aw, thanks! There's definitely more Hisoka in this chapter.
wildtrance: I'm still debating on that one. Once we get through the hunter exams I'll be able to plot it out a bit more.
Chapter 21
"Don't be afraid of it, panda. Fear will get you nowhere."
My bodies in such agony that for a moment my very existence pulses with it, the feeling or torn tendons in my shoulder pulsing with the barely stitched gashes along my palms. It cacoons me, lulling me into a heady wonderland.
Hisoka would be delighted.
Are you awake? Minoru's voice is tentative, reserved as it murmurs to me from our bond.
My stomach drops, the last 24 hours rushing back at me like a freight train, smattering me across the planes of...this. Beneath me, I can feel the strong roll of Minoru's… this thing's back, his fur gritty against my own grimy skin. He had somehow gotten me onto his back and now we were lumbering along.
My life had cracked open so easily like the downy shell of a baby turtles, oozing me out into the sweltering beach. I felt my throat tighten as I thought about all the lies that I had believed - all the lies that I had told myself.
So that I would be able to get up the next morning.
So that I would be able to survive.
As much as I despised Minoru, I think I hated myself a little bit more.
"Where are we going?" I couldn't bring myself to communicate back using my mind. Even the one-way connection made my skin crawl, a reminder of how much this thing had wormed its way into my life. In the end, I didn't fear Minoru at all. I hated him. Wouldn't mother be proud?
Beneath me, I felt his head tilt back, his eyes trying to catch me for a moment. We have a few hours to make it to the meeting place across the island.
The branches above swayed with a light breeze, the salt of the sea beyond stinging my nose. I caught the gurgle of a stream nearby. There was a tension in the air, something that suffused the very marrow of this place. It was the tension that came with running out of time. Of succumbing to desperation.
"Why aren't we flying?" I questioned, moving my fingers experimentally. Ichihiro's knives had been thin little things, more like pig-stickers than anything else. Still, the blade had lanced through the muscles at my shoulder, snipping apart my traps. Grunting, I tried to lift my arm, my whole hand shivering with the strain before I let it fall uselessly back down.
I would be down to one arm in a fight until it healed.
Minoru still hadn't answered, his ears flattening against some internal struggle. Odd how we could be part of the same whole and yet so separate at the same time…
I can't right now, he finally murmured and I could feel the tension, the withholding of information. Sneaky, little parasite.
"You're too tired?" I pressed.
Another long pause. Something like that.
The silence was sweltering. Along my arms and hand, I could feel a rash starting to form under the layers of grime and dried blood. My hair was matted, chalky and a disgusting muddy color instead of its usual silver. He would keep his secrets, I realized almost blankly.
"Stop at the stream to our right," I murmured, strangely emotionless. Empty. Like a can that had been shaken and then upturned, all of the contents spilling around it. I knew that I had Minoru. I knew that I hated myself and my mother and all that came with my past. But I also knew that I was stuck, trapped in whatever contract my mother had made.
Instead, there was a new purpose. One that meant that I had to get stronger. And getting stronger probably meant passing the hunter's exam. Being a hunter would allow me access to a world beyond Belchers Bay. Money and tickets to exclusive parties. Getting out of this pact meant that I needed to find the sender of those letters. Someone had tied my mother's madness up in a pretty, little ribbon and mailed it to our front doorstep. Someone had told her something that made her lose her mind.
When I found them, I would use Minoru to rip them into bite-sized pieces and scatter them across her grave.
I rolled, listless, my dirty converse and socks instantly soaking through as I splashed into the small stream. There were a multitude of these near the mountainous regain of this island, gurgling along happily with sunny rock beds and tree-lined edges.
Mori… Minoru started hesitantly. He had positioned himself, hunched and haggard at the base of the nearest tree, his marble eyes darting this way and that. Methodically, I tore off my hoodie and then my shorts and tank top, relishing for a moment in the flash of pain at the action. I deserved pain. Does this mean you don't want to kill me?
I slipped off my daggers, each more gangly and useless looking than the last. The springs and tensions had grown loose and now they just looked clunky. I would have to consolidate the parts into one working unit. Naked, splattered in blood and gore and all manner of filth, I waded into the depths of the lake, the water only just coming up to my hip.
I was a small thing, I realized as I looked down at the cut of my abs and the jutting bones at my hips. The only reason that you could see so much packed muscle was because of how skinny I was. How underfed I had become.
Nothing like Hisoka. Muscles like his came from training and food. Meal after meal consumed. Strength came from hunger.
Mori, Minoru whispered anxiously to me.
I blinked, drawn back to the present. Why was I thinking so much about him? Because he's strong, a small part of me whispered mischievously. He knew what you were playing this game with before you even knew. We could use that kind of cunning and strength…
I snorted to myself. Using Hisoka? That was laughable. "You disgust me," I finally said, my skin prickling from the water. My gut twisted as I saw Minoru flinch, hunching down into himself. I didn't look at him, busying myself with scrubbing at my skin. "You've fed off me since I was a babe. You sapped the very life out of my own mother at your creation… But you're useful. And I can't kill you."
Don't lie to make yourself feel better, that treacherous voice purred. You wouldn't want to even if you could.
I shied away from that thought - the thought of me being able to sink my daggers into…
"Instead I'll use you," I pushed on, not caring that Minoru looked so small and frail, his eyes wide as he sunk further and further against the bark. "I'll find whoever sent you to my mother and I'll let you tear his kidneys out while I watch. Simple." I forced myself to run an emotionless eye over Minoru. "You need to wash."
He didn't say anything and I didn't bother pushing. My hands screamed as I tore off the filthy bandages, exposing the raw, stitched skin beneath. No sign of infection but definitely irritation. I couldn't even fully close my hands anymore because of how swollen they were. My shoulder was a lot worse. I could barely lift my arm, the muscles shaking uncontrollably as my damaged tendons tried to control the limb. It was pure agony, hot, and unflinching.
Still, I did it over and over again, lifting, watching as blood bubbled from the enflamed wound and then dropping it. Pain was the only thing I could trust. The only thing that would center me at the moment.
Time slid by.
I dunked my clothes methodically, scrubbing at them as best as possible before ringing them out and tossing them over a branch.
Minoru eventually wandered into the stream, rolling around for a moment before crawling out. I barely looked up, annoyed that I paid attention to him as much as I did. I lifted my arm higher, biting back a scream as something tightened to the point of snapping in my shoulder and back. I dunked underwater, chilled at the temperature but unwilling to come back up until I saw splotches dancing at the corner of my eyes.
If you die now, you'll never know who latched you onto this creature. I burst back up, gasping and coughing up water as Minoru sat, watching miserably.
"How much time do we have?" I questioned, keeping my eyes away from the bear.
One min- Minoru started.
"Phase Four of the Hunter's exam is now officially over!" a chirpy voice boomed, sending a flock of birds into the air with a screech. "All remaining applicants please return to the starting point at once! You will be given one additional hour to make your way back! If you still haven't returned by the time that hour is up, you will fail the exam! Furthermore, exchanging badges at the starting point is prohibited. Any attempts to do so will result in immediate disqualification."
My eyes slid to the still-damp pile of clothes hanging on the branch. They had been resting there for an hour at the most.
A sigh slipped from my lips as I pulled my panties down from the branch, sliding them on with a grimace. "I guess we better get going then."
I slid from Minoru's back as the sound of voices grew closer, the familiar chirp of our announcer ringing through the trees with an annoyingly optimistic pitch. The pain in my hands and arm had loosened to a dull throb, one that promised fever and infection if I didn't get treatment soon.
"SO! These ten applicants - oh my!" We broke the treeline, the sun bursting across my skin with an insistence that blinded me. Just a few feet away, I saw the cropping of slim bodies, the rigid stance of ten contestants who had just spent countless hours being hunted. Eleven sets of eyes jumped to me, widening at the blood that was still splattered across my previously white hoodie and the wet tangle of my short, silver curls. The ginger-haired announcer that had been with us at the beginning of this exam blinks once, twice, and then jumped when a small watch at her side gave a low beep.
My eyes slid over the assembly once and then again, catching sight of a familiar shock of green hair and white, the pinned man, Hisoka (always Hisoka), the real estate agent, and the blonde pretty boy, Ichihiro-
"My brothers-" I breathed, taking another step forward, hoping desperately that they were just beyond the dip of the embankment, the area where the sea tried to meet the island. No beanies aside from my own. I hissed out a breath, something ugly and hot starting to bubble up inside of me as my eyes slid around and around those people.
"Contestant-" a cheery voice sang, my head whipping around to stare at the nervous tilt of the woman's mouth. "Your badges."
We always knew that there was a possibility- I let out a low snarl, snapping around to glare up at the sad, glittering eyes of Minoru. He stopped talking, sitting back on his haunches so that the slit at his stomach would be exposed.
Anger rolled through me - so much anger and hurt that I thought for a moment that I might die from it. Gone. My stomach clenched, my fingers curling into white-knuckled balls. They were gone. None of them had made it. Guilt was quick to follow, grabbing into my windpipe until I felt like each breath was made of fire. I should have stayed with them. I should have-
"Miss, if you don't have your badges-" A low hiss rolled from somewhere deep inside me, something violent and chaotic gaping wide inside of me as I met the announcer's eyes. Happy eyes. Laughing eyes. Shut up, I wanted to scream, my fingers spasming as I imagined wrapping them around her throat-
Mori. I stopped, shaken. I had… I gulped, sweat starting to dribble down my nape. I was right in front of the announcer. I had - I had stalked toward her - like prey. Chalk filled my mouth, the horrified stares of the other contestants burning the back of my neck. Minoru was a step behind me, his stride desperate like he was being yanked forward by an invisible thread.
I had - I had been about to strangle this woman.
My insides crawled, my whole world tipping a bit more. What was I turning into? I didn't just kill like this… I had reasons - I was - I was - Coming undone.
I could feel Ichihiro's delighted stare at my nape, his eyes hungry and perverse in a way that begged for bloodshed. I was half-tempted to give it to him right there.
"You mean these, right?" a silky voice purred and my whole body tingled, shivering with a whole other reason than my own impulse control issues.
A strong arm banded around my waist, tugging me back into the hard expanse of a chest. The familiar scent of sweetness swept over me, making my head go disorientingly light. His aura enveloped, intoxicating in the way that liquor is, a sweet release that can turn addictive in only a moment. For once, I didn't push it away, sinking beneath its weight until it almost crushed me, begging for violence in every teasing caress.
Round badges flashed in front of my face, Hisoka's slim fingers shuffling them between in index and thumb. At some point, he had to have pulled them from Minoru's pouch, the bear rumbling a grumpy threat from deep in his throat behind us. The announcer's cat-like eyes widened, blinking waterily between Hisoka and me. Her face had gone an alarmingly pale shade, a dewy sweat sparkling along her throat. Had I done that? From just walking toward her?
A trickle of Hisoka's aura pressed up my calf, wrapping teasingly around my ankle. I could feel him against my back, the corded muscles in his chest pressing into my much smaller body.
"Oh, um, yes!" The announcer started unsteadily, her clipboard quivering in her fingers as she glanced down to get her bearings once more. "The last contestant number 200, Miss Mori."
"You were about to do something very bad." Hisoka's breath is hot against my ear, his lips grazing the shell for a moment as he leans closer, his arm tightening around my waist until it borders on pain. Like he can barely control himself. His fingers dig into my hip, his sharp nails pricking my skin through the layers of clothing.
I can't help it. My aura withers, pressing against his as I tip my head to the side, finally meeting his gaze and losing my breath at what greets me. His eyes have burned to warmed honey, the lids heavy as his lips twist into a cruel smirk. He looks like he wants to eat me alive. Like he's dying to press me up against the nearest surface and -
I gasp, heat rushing up my throat, my mind muddling through one subject after another. It's a rush - the highs of the day colliding with each other until I can barely think straight. And now, staring into his eyes I can't comprehend where I am, what I should be worrying about, the agony of what's happened, what will happen, because all I want-
His smirk notches up a bit, turning into something sinister. Fuck, he's going to kill me, isn't he?
His lips crash down on mine, his teeth biting into my bottom lip until I gasp at the burst of blood. And then all I can taste is metal and something sweet and doughy as his tongue rubs along mine. It's him - Hisoka, Hisoka, Hisoka - his free hand clenching into the downy hair at my nape until I feel a spark of pain tingle along my scalp. His nails bruising my cheek as he forces my chin up higher, moving me so that I have to either accept his kiss or fight him.
My hands curl around his forearm as his body curls around me, tangling in an intoxicating dance that confuses and excites me. His tongue rubs along mine, again and again, making me burn. I want more. I want -
He pulls back, leaving me panting and flushed, his eyes so hot that they burn into me like a brand. Slowly, his thumb rubs along my bottom lips followed closely by his tongue, smearing my leftover blood along his own lips, dying his teeth a grotesque shade of red.
His smile is cruel, heated the way a brand might be before it sears into someone's skin. "Ah," he sighs darkly, his voice husky. "You taste best when you're filled with so much anger, my little mouse." He leans down once more, quickly nipping down until my lip opens again before lapping away the blood. My insides tightened, a low ache starting between my thighs. His eyes met mine again, his nose rubbing along mine is a deceptively tender caress. "You should lose control more often."
I let out a breath. And then another one. Finally, I centering myself enough to realize that all of the other contestants had begun to murmur to each other, the announcer wearing a scandalized grimace on her pretty face as she gaped at us. My nails had clawed through his skin, leaving red ribbons all along his forearm.
"Be careful what you wish for, Hisoka," I whispered, flushing at the husky notes in my own voice. "Next time I might be losing control with you."
I disentangled myself from his grip, his low, lusty groan following me along with those hooded eyes and that smirk. Minoru had dipped down, his head turned pointedly away as I strode away from the deadly man behind me. I had been losing control too much lately. I was afraid of what would happen if I let it run my life.
As always, if you want to make me a happy little writer, please review. You guys cannot believe what a boost seeing comments give me. Last chapter I only got 3 reviews and it made me hella sad so give me a little love, yeah?