kris10oflegends: Glad you're enjoying it!

Chapter 37

"A specialist with the ability to influence gravity." Eimear clicked her tongue, looking vaguely impressed by the whole notion. My eyes ate up the space that she was keeping between us. The space that she had kept between us. She was afraid of me. "No wonder Hisoka was so enthralled by you."

I thought the test indicated a person's nen ability. The revolting memory of the warm splash of blood across my face, the bubbling beneath a calm top layer of water.

Minoru huffed out a long breath, keeping a close eye on the space between us. His overwhelming worship of Eimear had cooled after the brutal beating we had received. She had left us passed out in the dirt that day, the blazing sun waking me a day later. A large part of me had thought that Eimear would keep her distance. The horror-struck expression on her face was still imprinted on my memory. That's why it had surprised me so much when she thumped her way into our camp two days later, looking enraged at the whole ordeal.

Most of the time, Minoru started slowly. About 70% of all water divinations allow their user to have a guess at whatever ability they have. But sometimes the most important thing isn't an ability. His dark, beady eyes cut to me. Sometimes it's the user's personality.

I didn't entirely know what to think about that. An uncomfortable feeling like a dozen small insects crawling up my spine and into the hair at my nape, shivered over me. With the display yesterday, there was no doubt that my nen ability had to do with gravity manipulation. My fingers flexed as I played with the aura around me, squishing and extending it like a stress ball. That revolting divination yesterday… I gulped down a wave of bile, my gaze moving to the dirt beneath my crossed legs.

I tried for changing the subject. What made you so smart?

A low snuffing groan rolled out of him, his lips twitching back smugly. I asked Illumi for his books. Who would have thought that a group of nen-wielding assassins would have so much ready material on nen and all its wonderful uses?

Dirt cascaded around me, hitting me in the face as Eimear brought her cane down, spraying us with debri. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Having a bit of a tea party? Should I leave you two to your own private gossip-fest?"

I mulled over my next words, oddly unaffected by Eimear's scolding. "What do you know about nen beasts?"

Her face stilled, the tight, angry lines of her face smoothing as her eyes flicked from me to Minoru and then back. Her whole body sunk back, relaxing like a professor examining her students for the first time. I could see the quiet debate in her dark eyes. She didn't want to tell me.

I smiled, feeling something weightless loosen my body. She was afraid. Of me. "Do you want to teach me, Eimear?"

Her eyes sharpened on me, lips pursing as she took in the lazy lilt in my tone. "Let me give you a warning, little girl. Birds that fly too close to the sun end up burning alive."

A jolt of something acid burned the back of my throat. She was trying to scare me. Why was everyone trying to scare me? What was it that they were afraid of? I glanced to Minoru, his eyes watchful. And why did I have to be the person to coddle their fears?

"But what a glorious way to go," I murmured, standing up abruptly. Her eyes tracked me as I dusted off my shorts. "Why are you afraid to tell me about my nen beast, Eimear?"

Her lips thinned, expression souring. "Would it amaze you to know that I won't have an answer to all your questions? Nen beasts are a rare and often hidden occurrence. The only knowledge I have is a rumor from the Kakin Empire and they were called something much different." Her eyes snapped to Minoru, the next words spat in his direction. "Parasites. The royals there keep speak of them as spirit guides but all the village people know the truth - they're coddling leaches."

Beside me, Minoru flinched, curling farther into himself until he was only a ball of blue fur and red swirls.

Eimear's eyes caught mine. "You would do well to get rid of it before it eats you from the inside out."

A chill frosted my insides, making my liver and guts feel brittle. I had called him a parasite before but to have someone else say it - It felt too sharp, too invasive. I bit down on my tongue.

"All I really know is that the nen user and the beast each come with different abilities. A particularly deadly obstacle." Eimear's lips pulled back in a sneer. Like an animal backed into a corner, she was making a show. I tipped my head to the side, not entirely sure of why she felt so scared.

Wind burst through the trees around us, sending blades of grass and leaves into a flurry around us. The evenings were growing colder, the weather turning from sun to snow with a swiftness that made me wary. There were only 2 more months before Heaven's arena.

As I stared across the space between Eimear and I, I suddenly felt all the wariness from the days before beating down on me. There was only one reason why Eimear would come back like this.

"You want me to leave," I stated bluntly, watching as her features loosened for a moment, wary relief flooding her features.

"Our time as student and teacher has come to an end," she huffed, her hands folding over the cane's handle firmly. I heartily disagreed. She had pushed me into something invaluable. But knowledge like this was like unlocking a door with a question mark taped to the front only to find yourself in a room with post-it notes filled with more question marks stuck to every visible surface. "I want you to leave with your word that you won't ask for me again."

I debated, tilting my head from side to side. That was just something that I didn't think I would be able to do. I needed to learn more. I could feel the sudden flare of new life - a new goal - kindling weakly in my chest. I was close to something incredible, something addictive. I could feel it just in the cavern between my lunges, burning. I wanted more.

I caught Minoru's eyes, his head tilting slightly. Would we learn anything from an unwilling teacher?

"I can leave you alone," I started slowly, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it. "But I can't promise to never call on you again."

"I won't teach you any further, Mori." A jolt of recognition stunned me. I blinked across the clearing at her, watching as her eyes darted over me. That was the first time she had called me by my name. "The next time you'll see me is when your near death."

I blinked again, the wind whipping the silver strands of my hair up and into my eyes. It was past my shoulders now. Everything was changing so quickly. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to get my footing again. The world just seemed to be slipping past me with a speed that made me stumble.

"I can work with that," I whispered.

Eimear's lips thinned, becoming a severe line before she was nodding and then turning, her feet heavy as she walked away from me. A deep, throbbing part of me ached. The frail part of me wanted to call her back, to beg her to take me in, to change the course of my life. I wanted a home. I wanted to do good. I wanted to be good.

But the bigger part of me still remembered Ichihiro's dirty fingers on my brother's hats. It still remembered the roaring ache that my mother's blood coating my hands and forearms had dug out inside of me. I wasn't meant for good anymore. Sometimes the world just takes and takes from a person until all they know is the hunger of wanting. And then eventually the way the world treated you becomes the way that you need to treat it. Eventually all that bad doesn't seem so wrong anymore.

"Why?" I didn't realize that I had spoken at first. I wouldn't if it hadn't been for the way that one word felt - the ghost of it still curving my lips. Eimear glanced back and I struggled to elaborate. "Why are you…?"

So scared? I sucked down the ending, too tired to end our last meeting on such accusatory words.

It turned out, Eimear didn't need me to finish.

"You reminded me of him," she whispered. Him? My brows knit. Who… The question faded away, everything clicking as I saw the stark sadness in her eyes. We only shared one acquaintance. "Of how he was that first time." Her throat worked, swallowing whatever well of emotions that memory brought up. "Sometimes people break and mend into something stronger. But sometimes… sometimes people break and stay that way. Not because they can't heal but because they don't want to. Because they enjoy the pain… You can't teach people like that. You can't teach people that live in a place of suffering and enjoy it."

The wind whispered a lonely tune in my ears, the cold from the distant mountains rolling in.

Rules, Minoru murmured as I sharpened the new daggers, staring blankly down at the obsidian blades, sharp enough to peel metal away. The hilts curved out wickedly, shielding my hands from sliding like my old ones. I should have been happier. It was the first thing I had bought for myself other than a new pair of clothes. I found that I enjoyed shopping. Not because it particularly made me happy but because it made me feel full. That was the best way to describe it - like shoving a bunch of cloth into a hole. Ineffective but aesthetically appealing. Rules are the foundation of nen abilities. Now that we know your class and type we can build your first ability.

I thought about it for a moment, toying with the delicate line of the wire attached to my new launching equipment. I had debated over this a lot. Rules added boundaries. And boundaries would ultimately lead to better abilities.

I'd start easy for now.

I need to have touched the object before and know it's name. I started slowly. I thought back on all of the times Minoru had flown with me. I had been using my abilities without even knowing it. A sour pit opened inside of me. And the total weight needs to be equal to or less than my own total. My eyes drifted to where he sat at my feet, his body spread lazily across the desk of the massive ship. We had boarded just that morning, the boat set to reach York New City in only five days. You count as an extension of me.

The trick was to bind yourself enough to make it difficult but not enough to cripple you. The more intricate the technique, the more bindings you would need. For smaller-level feats like this, I would easily be able to make these rules work for me.

The swirls along Minoru's sides flared, light an iridescent red. He slowly nodded.

I stared down at the odd creature for a moment more. Can you tell me what your abilities are now?

He went completely still, his eyes locking with mine before he answered slowly. You created me when you were a child. Just like your nen abilities. Mostly you wanted a guardian. Someone who knew everything - a parent. My chest ached. Something about hearing the thoughts of a little lost girl, suddenly alone in the world made me feel sick. Information Archiving. A fancy way to say that I can log an infinite amount of information and immediately recall it when needed. Want me to know everything about the Kakin Empire? Give me a book and a day and I'll be able to tell you everything.

That's why you wanted all of those books from Illumi, I mused.

He tilted his head. That and it was awful boring up on that hill. He was silent for a moment longer. I think… In the right settings, with the right rules, I might also be able to predict an opponent's movements, learn their fighting style. Their nen abilities.

I mulled that over, staring down at the spool of wires in my lap. The boat rocked gently beneath it. That… could be very useful. I stared out at the endless darkness of the sea. At night, the lights of the boat were the only thing for miles and miles. The darkness only seemed moments away from eating you alive.

I miss Hisoka. I thought suddenly and I felt the slow pull of a smirk as Minoru's eyes twinkled up at me. Think he'll enjoy all our surprises?

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