Chapter 11: All I See is You

Emma woke up and stared at the text message she received the night before. She didn't know what to make of the request from Killian to meet her tonight. She wasn't sure what he wanted to talk about that he couldn't just come over and tell her now. Why would he need to wait until 7pm to meet her on the roof?

She tried to stay busy throughout the day, cleaning her house, making her grocery list for the following week, while also fielding calls from her brother to find out how she was doing after her relationship with Graham had ended. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong, but then Emma knew he had been too caught up in the possibility of Emma settling down that he never once stopped to ask her if Graham actually made her happy. Emma couldn't fault him for that, she should have stopped and asked herself that question before it got to a place where Graham found himself on one knee in front of their friends.

Honestly, Emma hadn't felt more at ease since ending things with Graham. She knew she could have just told him she wasn't ready to get married without ending the relationship, but when he asked her to spend the rest of her life with him, she knew that it wasn't just getting married to Graham that she was unable to do, it was in that moment that she knew being with him at all wasn't right for her.

That evening, she wasn't worried about her own feelings; she had mourned the destruction of her relationship with a glass of wine and a bar of chocolate. She was more concerned about Henry. She hated taking away yet another father figure from his life. However, the boy hardly seemed phased, and she realized that perhaps Henry wasn't as taken with Graham as she wanted him to be.

"So, things seem to be going well with Belle." Emma tried to ask without sounding too interested in how Killian's ex was doing with her new relationship.

"Well enough that she's not going back to him, if that's what you're worried about." He teased.

"What?" Emma asked in shock. "My statement wasn't about Killian. I just wanted to know how my best friend was doing with his new relationship."

"Well then, your best friend is doing amazing. She's bloody brilliant Em." Emma could tell that Will was smitten with Belle. He hadn't stopped smiling since they started going out and she loved seeing the smile permanently on his face. Will deserved someone who treated him as special as she had always seen him.

"I'm happy for you." She responded, trying not to feel a pit of sadness forming in her stomach. She was happy for him, she just wondered if she would ever feel as happy as he did.

"Killian seems pretty happy for Belle, too. He even gave me some advice on her favorite foods and flowers so that I could cook for her this weekend."

"That's odd." She chuckled.

"Not really, I mean the way Belle tells me, they never really had a serious relationship. They seem like really good friends though."

Emma nervously cleaned the table, putting the dirty dishes into the sink, she looked down at her watch and realized it was almost 7pm. "Can you watch Henry for a little bit, I need to do something."

"Yeah, everything alright?" Will asked.

"Oh yeah, I won't be long." Emma left the apartment and made her way to the roof, anxiety and curiosity starting to build up in her mind.

Killian wasn't sure what Emma would need to discuss with him or why the need to wait until evening.

He had been surprised to find out that she declined Graham's marriage proposal, but Henry didn't seem to know anything about his mother's text asking to meet with him. He resisted responding to her after he tried four different responses, none being satisfactory. In the end he opted to just leave the phone sitting on the counter. He would simply show up at 7pm and hope for the best.

At around 6:30, he found he could no longer sit in his apartment watching the clock. Instead, he headed to the roof to wait for Emma.

At 7:05 she walked through the door; an anxious worry written all over her face.

"Hey."

"Hello, Swan." He greeted the woman when she approached him.

"So…" She said as if she was waiting for him to start the conversation.

"What is the reason for all the secrecy?"

"Secrecy?" Her eyes narrowed. "You tell me."

Killian chuckled. "I haven't a clue, I assumed you would know the reason you asked me here."

"I asked you here?"

"Aye."

She shook her head. "That's ridiculous. You asked me to meet you."

"I can assure you I did no such thing, love."

Emma dug into her pocket, producing her phone, a nervous laugh leaving her lips. "I'm not crazy." She mumbled under her breath. "See, right here." She held up the phone and Killian squinted to read the message on the screen. When he saw it came from him, he reached out and grabbed the phone from her hands.

"No that's not possible." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled his own phone, finding his message from Emma and holding it to her. "You can clearly see that you sent me the message last night."

Emma looked at the two phones. "What the hell."

"How is this possible?"

"I haven't a clue, love. But it appears that someone is messing with us."

"Who would do that? Besides, who has access to both of our phones?" Emma asked.

They both looked up at each other simultaneously and spoke. "Henry."

"But why would the lad send this message?"

"I don't know, but I'm about to go find out." Emma said angrily, turning to leave when suddenly the boy in question appeared in the doorway. "Henry. We need to talk."

"Sorry mom, I love you a lot but you're too stubborn for your own good. You and Killian need to talk." He looked at Killian. "You both need to stop running from each other. Killian, you don't have to be alone, but you need to believe that you are worthy of being loved. And mom, true love can conquer anything, but you have to be willing to open yourself up to it."

"Henry David Swan, this is not one of your fairytales, you can't just…"

"Love you guys. I'll be back in a bit." And with that, the door slammed shut.

Henry pulled the door shut, turning the lock, effectively trapping his mother and Killian on the roof.

"Are you sure about this kid?"

Henry turned around, sitting on the step next to Will. "Mom always needs a little push when it comes to being honest with herself." There was a bang on the door behind him and he heard his mother yelling, flinching he turned back to look at Will with a nervous laugh.

"Aye, I know this, but you also know that she's gonna ground you until you turn 18. You weighed that risk right?"

He shrugged. "It'll be worth it." He said with a grin.

"I owe you a huge debt, Captain." The King reached out to pass the bundle of coins into the man's hand. "Should you ever find yourself in our Kingdom again, please make sure to make our acquaintance."

"It was a pleasure meeting you, your highness." Captain Jones paused. "I'm sure you are anxious for things to return to normal, with Baelfire behind bars, your sister is free to marry the Duke."

The King laughed, "I'm afraid my sister is anything but normal. She has already informed me that she has decided not to marry the Duke."

"Emm…Princess Swan does indeed appear to do things her own way."

"I never did get a chance to apologize for my sister's interference with your mission."

"Apologizes are not necessary, she was of great assistance."

"Emma has always wished for more than these stone walls."

"You can't cage a bird forever." The Captain stated before rising to leave. "I must take my leave; I fear I have stayed too long, and the sea is calling my name."

"Thank you again, Captain."

Killian left the King, heading out of the castle to retreat to the Jolly to prepare her for sailing in the morning. As he rounded the corner he saw Master Henry waiting at the end of the corridor.

"Captain Jones!"

"Master Henry, so happy to see you well."

"Are you leaving already?"

"Aye, this is not the only kingdom in need of my assistance, my crew and I must be on our way to Arendelle by first light."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything, lad."

"I was wondering if you were in need of additional crew on the Jolly Roger?"

The Captain laughed. "Is this inquiry personal? I'm not certain your mother would approve."

"I'm not a child. I'm not even officially a royal. I have no claim to the throne. My place here is unnecessary. I want to explore new worlds, find adventure, learn to sword fight like you."

"Henry, I would be honored for you to join my crew, with your mother's permission of course."

"Really?"

"Aye, I'm always in need of good men who are willing to have my back. But I fear your mother may not be in agreement with you leaving the nest."

"My mother might surprise you." He said with a smile.

"I believe that. Your mother is not like many I have met."

"Have you spoken to her?"

"Not since we turned Baelfire over to the Sheriff. A man of my stature does not seek out the company of royalty without being called upon."

"I'm sure she will be sad to find that she missed you before you left."

"I'm on my way to the Thirsty Lion; I need to rally the troops before we set sail in the morning. In case anyone would find themselves interested in joining my crew or needing to speak to me, that's where they will find me until sundown." He said with a wink.

"Thank you Captain." Henry took his leave as the Captain left the castle, a nervous excitement taking over him.

After dinner, Henry found himself confronting his mother about the man they turned over to the Sheriff. "Why didn't you tell me the truth about my father?"

"I didn't want to hurt you, to make you think that you weren't wanted. Your father may have left us, but you have always been loved Henry."

"I never felt unloved, mother."

Princess Emma wrapped her arms around her son and hugged him. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way." She pulled back, looking at her son. "Why did you follow me to the Jolly Roger?"

"I didn't. I was actually following Captain Jones. After he came to my room that evening, I just wanted to see what it was like to go on an adventure. I'm always stuck here in the castle."

"Being royalty means we have responsibilities. It's our duty to be here, to be seen."

"But I'm not royalty. You are though. So why did you follow Captain Jones then?" He asked with a smirk. "That doesn't seem like part of your responsibility. Uncle David says that you are supposed to be choosing a husband."

"I suppose you are very much like your mother; I don't like being told what to do either."

"Do you not intend to marry the Duke?"

Princess Emma crinkled her nose, "I always thought my life would be so different than what it has become."

"You wish for adventure too."

"Why does a Princess have to stay in court, bound to a man of royal blood?"

"It's a shame that Captain Jones isn't sticking around." Henry said with a sly smile.

"You've talked to him?"

"I saw him this morning when Uncle David met with him, he said that he was to set sail for Arendelle at first light."

"Oh, is that so?" Her tone was full of disappointment and longing.

"I believe he was headed to the Thirsty Lion. He was sure to make mention of that in case anyone needed to speak with him before he lifted anchor."

"Did he mention anyone specifically?"

"Of course not, that would be improper, would it not, Mother?" She kissed her son on the forehead, standing up and rushing to the door. "Mother." She turned back to face him. "Wear the green cloak, it matches your eyes, and is less recognizable in public than the gold frock you tried to hide in when I tracked you."

Killian watched as Henry stepped away into the stairwell, the large metal door slamming shut in slow motion.

"Shit." Killian ran for the door, tugging on the handle but it wouldn't budge. "Sneaky little bugger, he's locked us out."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"I can assure you, love; it won't budge." Emma pushed past him and yanked on the handle.

"Oh, he's grounded for a month!" She screeched as she kicked the door with her foot and Killian couldn't stop the laugh escaping his mouth. She turned quickly. "Do you think this is funny?"

"Of course not, but I hardly think the punishment fits the crime."

"He locked us on the rooftop because he thinks we are running away from true love. You realize that's ridiculous, don't you? There's no such thing as true love, you find someone you don't want to kill, and you hope for the best."

He couldn't hold in the sad laugh at her comment. Their eyes locked and Killian swallowed, his throat suddenly feeling dry. The boy did have an active imagination, that he was sure of since the literacy fair. However, his assessment that Killian was running wasn't exactly a lie.

"Aye, I admit that the boy has a flair for the dramatics, however he makes a fair point, at least on my account." Her eyes widened.

"You're not telling me that you agree with him?"

"I didn't say that Swan. I'm just saying that he makes a fair point. I've hurt more people than I care to admit in my quest to escape my past, Belle included."

"I don't understand, what are you escaping from?" She paused, horror framing her face. "Oh God, you aren't a serial killer are you?"

"Bloody hell woman, you immediately jump to serial killer. The boy isn't kidding, you do have trust issues."

"He told you I have trust issues?"

Killian rolled his eyes. "Is he wrong?"

"No, but that's not the point." She pouted angrily.

Killian paced his spot on the roof, watching the woman seated in front of him. He was in dangerous waters here; he knew that opening up to her could lead to ramifications for their friendship. He wasn't sure he could afford to lose both Emma and Henry in his life. However, not talking to her could also drastically change things anyway.

"I'm not a serial Killer, Swan, so you can stop planning your escape." He sighed and sat down next to her. "However, I'm not proud of my past. My previous relationship was the definition of muddy waters at best."

"I was married to a man who took me clubbing on our first date only to come back and rob it later that night. Trust me, I get muddy waters."

Killian narrowed his eyes; this Neal character was dumber than he thought. "Perhaps you do."

"We all do stupid shit; it doesn't mean we are bad people."

He took a deep breath, "I dated a woman while I was in the Navy. Milah. I was consumed with her the moment I laid eyes on her at the bar. She had the mouth of a sailor, the body of a goddess, and I swore she knew me more than I knew myself." Emma squirmed in her seat beside him. "I fell in love with her the way most people do, feet first with my eyes closed. I gave her everything I had, my entire soul."

"Is she the reason you moved to Boston?"

"Aye, though I wouldn't call it a move, more of an escape. I intended to ask her to marry me. Liam didn't approve, he felt she would not live up to my mother's expectation for her son, he refused to give me his blessing, or my mother's ring, but it didn't deter me. She was my world."

"So, you asked her anyway?"

He nodded. "It was the happiest day of my life, and sadly the day my entire world exploded around me." He paused. "Milah was unable to accept my proposal, because she was already married."

"Oh wow, that's... I'm sorry."

"I wish that was where the tale ended, however I'm ashamed to say that my part in the story continued." He hung his head, taking his eyes off her. "As I said, she was my world, and I could not let her go. My brother always told me that a man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets." He laughed. "I never stopped to question if what I was fighting for was worthy of my time and effort."

"You wanted her to leave her husband?"

"Aye, she told me she was going to leave him, he was abusive, and things escalated. Many nights I spent cleaning her up, tending to her wounds, begging her not to go back to him. She always told me it was the last time, I would send her home to pack her things and return to me. But she never did." He laughed. "I was a fool. I should have ended it, walked away. But the last night was worse than anything he had ever done. He had broken her arm, threatened to kill her. It was the last straw. I went after him, gave him an ass beating he won't soon forget."

Emma gasped beside him. "It sounds like he deserved it."

He chuckled. "I got arrested for assault and battery. Turns out her husband was an up-and-coming politician."

"But what about his wife, surely there was evidence to prove she was being battered?"

"It was her word against mine." He said sadly.

"What? She lied?"

"She told the police I was a jealous ex-lover, and that she had begged me to leave her alone. I went to jail for a time and when I was released, I had been dishonorably discharged from the Navy. Everything I had built and dreamed of since I was a child was gone."

"Killian that's terrible. But that hardly sounds like you were the bad guy."

He sat up in his chair, "Perhaps not, but I knew I brought this on myself. I allowed Milah to continue to cheat on her husband, I should have stopped it. I should have walked away. I deserved the punishment I got."

"And I made you do it again when I kissed you while I was dating Graham." She said sadly.

"I couldn't allow anything to progress with us, no matter how much I wished it."

"You wished for it?"

"Aye, but after Milah, I got shit faced and made a promise to my brother that I would never have a relationship with a woman again."

"But you were just dating Belle."

"Belle and I were merely existing. I never called her my girlfriend, a fact that I believe hurt her more than I could comprehend. Belle is a good woman and someone I consider a cherished friend. She deserved better than me."

"So, you're just going to keep running from feeling anything because of a drunken promise after making a mistake?"

"Can I ask you something, Emma?"

"Interesting, asking a question to avoid answering one."

Killian pushed forward. "Why did you turn down Graham's proposal?"

She frowned. "Guess I didn't feel like getting married again, seemed like a lot of work."

"I just told you the thing I am most fearful of people learning about me and you return the favor by being less than honest in your answer."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Try the truth. Why does your boy think you are running?"

"Why does Henry think anything? He has an active imagination." Killian rolled his eyes. "Ok fine, you want the truth? Graham was a good guy, he treated me well, he was good to Henry. I could have married him and let him take care of me for the rest of our lives."

"And you think that's a bad thing?"

"Of course not, but he didn't make me feel anything. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. I just wanted to feel alive, desired, wanted."

"So, you kissed me?"

"You make it sound like I was using you. I wasn't. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because you scare me. You make me feel things I've never felt before."

"Scaring a woman hardly sounds like a good thing." He laughed.

"When I was younger, I was a different person. I wanted adventure, excitement. I was the type of person who wanted to get up at 3am, take a boat out into the middle of the ocean, and watch the sun come up. I took trips without even knowing where I was going. I was 18 years old when I met Neal, we ran hard and fast and we almost destroyed each other. We were married and divorced before I even knew who he was. By the time I figured it out, Henry came. And then I had responsibilities and someone else depending on me."

Killian watched her face, imagining what Emma must have been like back then. She would have been the type of woman he would have fallen for in a heartbeat. Perhaps if they had met back then, neither of them would have gone through what they did.

"I started playing things safe. My ex, Walsh, was a banker, you couldn't get more boring than him if you tried. And then there was Graham, I've known him since I was a child, he was a friend, a security guard who took care of old people." She laughed.

"And then one day, this man in a leather jacket rode up on his bike, I could practically smell danger and adventure and excitement from the moment I met you." Her eyes never left his as she spoke. "And I was ok just fantasizing about it because I don't date men like you. But then you went and did the most aggravating thing anyone could have ever done."

He couldn't stop the smirk. "What's that, love?"

"This man who was supposed to be dangerous and terrifying became friends with my eleven-year-old son."

"He's friends with Will too, love, I fail to see how that's aggravating."

"Will doesn't count. He's been my best friend since before I even realized what boys were. But you…you became friends with Henry because you wanted to. And it was aggravating because you did it without even trying to get into my pants. You just hung out with him. Despite my protests, my distrust, even though you had no reason at all to even pay him the time of day, you talked to him like he was a human who deserved an audience."

"Perhaps I'm missing the point." He said with a chuckle.

"Dangerous men don't become friends with my son. They don't listen to him when he's having a bad day. They don't show up at his literacy fair to watch him recite a poem that he wrote about him and his mother."

"Why Swan, are you saying that you are the Princess, and I am the Pirate from Henry's tale?" He teased with a grin.

"Stop it, you already knew as much."

"I had my suspicions, yes."

"That's my point, even after all that, you still hung around. You babysat him, I mean you almost set my house on fire doing so, but, even after Henry faked being sick just so I would end my date early with Graham, you still stayed." She shook her head. "You let him come to your house to play with your dog every night before he went to bed, you eat my food, and you never complain that it's burned…" She closed her eyes, words almost coming out in a whisper, "and sometimes I catch you looking at me and it takes my breath away."

Without even thinking, he reached out, his thumb tracing a line against her cheek. "Sometimes, when I look at you, I swear my heart is going to pound out of my chest and everything around me ceases to exist. Because all I see is you."

Her eyes opened, locking with his, and in a single heartbeat, she was in his arms, her lips crashing against his mouth, and the world stopped.