He looked at his empty hotel room and wanted to flee. The room served as a constant reminder to him about what he'd lost. After all, once upon a time he'd had a hotel room that had turned into his home and had someone to come home to every night.
Something was wrong with her, he was sure. Despite the distance and the restraining order he could still feel her. He just wished he knew what was wrong and if he could fix it. He was sure she was getting on fine, she always did, he just wondered if she'd found someone to lean on if she needed to. He shook his head. She'd never look for someone who could do that, someone would have had to learn her tells like he had. He wondered if Liam remembered any of them, or if he remembered him teaching him.
He missed them so much. He was going to go to Llanview on his next break, consequences be damned. He had to know what was wrong. He had to see her, he had to know why it had all gone to hell so quickly.
Well, that was what he wanted. What would happen would be entirely different. He didn't want to risk losing more than he already had. He wouldn't risk it; he would make a lot of gambles, but that wasn't one of them.
Finally, he laid his head on his pillow for another night of restless and sparse sleep. Natalie had made such a difference in how he slept, and even when he worked late, he looked foreword to holding her as he fell asleep. She made him feel whole, like holding her made it okay for him to sleep. He'd been damaged and haunted for as long as he could remember, but with her it didn't matter. In her eyes, he was enough. No one had ever made him feel that way before. That was the feeling he missed.