Chapter 12.

Sandor Clegane did not follow or catch her that night. Instead of getting close to her, as she actually wished for, he chose to stay away from her. At least he seemed to for a couple of days, then suddenly he turned up in Godswood again.

Sansa knew that he was hiding there among the trees. She could not see him but she could feel his presence and his eyes on herself. They never met face to face although their strange encounters made her kind of happy as he was still looking for her company, while deep inside she was really disappointed because of his stubbornness.

She was trying to justify his behaviour and somehow she understood the masquerade of his coldness still she wanted him to get over it and show her his love for her – because she was so sure that he loved her and that there was so much tenderness under that thick rough skin of his.

She didn't know if her love for him was larger or smaller than his towards her, but she knew that she was unable to handle her yearning for him as perfectly well as he could handle his own desire. He had been doing that for such a long time while she discovered her own feelings for only a short period. She was brought up as an aristocratic princess but the passion inside her appeared to be stronger than her education sometimes.

Days and weeks passed.

Sansa had a lot to do, she was always busy dealing with the matters and problems of her kingdom, while Sandor had his freedom to do what he wanted and when he wanted and he didn't have many responsibilities unlike her. They met eye to eye only at mealtimes when they were sitting and having their meals in the company of dozens of other people, the most reliable men of the North living in or near Winterfell. There were always a few men sitting or standing between them but Sansa knew and felt that Sandor Clegane did not take his eyes off her and devoted his whole attention to her. He was watching her eating, drinking, talking, laughing or smiling, listening to her talking and making decisions. Even though he hardly spoke to anyone, she felt that he paid close attention to everyone and everything in the room and he was still a significant part of all the conversations.

She wished he would make a step and try to get closer to her again but she also knew that he was not that kind of man, not a man of emotions. Sandor would fight for her anytime, he would sacrifice his life and die for her, without a moment of thinking, but he would never stand in front of her confessing his love for her openly. She suspected that that he held her too high in rank in comparison with himself and that would also stop him from trying to gain her heart. He is so merciless and brave in almost everything, except when it is about his emotions for me, she was thinking bitterly. She did not care about how small or how big the difference between their social status was – she would have dared to approach him if she had not had that lack of confidence in his courage to take her.

She was tired of waiting for his confession but she tried to regain her patience.

She had a kingdom to rule, a whole nation of Northern people to take care of and defend, and she could not allow herself to be ruled by passion for a man when she needed a clear head every day. Still she was a woman, a person who wanted to be loved by someone she loved and craved for, and she wished to share her days and nights with that special someone. It was so hard to stay patient and calm, but she managed to because she really had to, to keep her authority and power as the queen of the North.

One evening, after a long discussion about a possible tour around the kingdom, when she would visit all the villages and towns in the North, meeting and listening to the people of lower ranks, their thoughts, problems and wishes, Sansa asked Ser Thomas to call Sandor into the Throne Hall. She remained sitting on her throne, waiting, acting as if she had been completely relaxed, while Ser Thomas left the room, with a strange and curious expression on his face.

When she was left alone, she adjusted her clothes quickly and checked her hair as well. She breathed deeply, filled with excitement and anxiety. It was so long when she last met and talked to him face to face and she had no idea how he would behave now. He was avoiding her all the time, never looking for an opportunity to talk to her, and she lost her patience. I must see and talk to him right now, she thought, I must look into his eyes to see something meaningful, to see if he misses me or not. She felt a little childish but she wanted her appetite to be satisfied.

Only a few minutes later, Ser Thomas and Sandor Clegane returned. Ser Thomas stayed close to the door as if he had been watching over them like a guard, while Sandor was approaching Sansa.

He did not take his eyes off her while moving towards the centre of the room. He stopped only six steps away from her, in front of her throne, and took a small bow. He looked totally calm and uninterested, and he didn't seem to wonder why he had to appear so suddenly.

- Lady Sansa.

She smiled at him softly, partly to show him some kindness and courtesy, and partly to soothe herself. His rough appearance, his dark eyes and his deep voice made her heart jump and dance with anticipation.

- Ser Sandor, thank you for joining us.

Sandor did not feel like pretending to be a courtier. He shook his shoulder negligently and rested his right hand on his belt where his sword would have been hanging. He had stopped wearing a sword in Winterfell in the last few weeks.

- I had no other choice, I guess.

Sansa stood up to make the distance between them shorter meanwhile she hoped that her legs would not tremble and bring her into trouble.

- I would like to express my gratitude. I should have done it much earlier but there were always things to do… - she became embarrassed and cut the sentence off to start another one. – Ser Sandor, you have fought for my kingdom as a lion although this is not your homeland.

Sandor did not appear to be more interested. He groaned simply.

- I did my job.

- Your job?

He smirked at her wildly, showing his teeth.

- Killing people. As I always did.

Sansa took a deep breathe.

- I would like to give you a piece of land…

Now Sandor showed some emotions: anger, clearly expressed in his deepening groan and in his eyes.

- I don't need any land.

Ser Thomas did not like the way their conversation seemed to be turning into and he chose to intervene.

- You may listen to Lady Stark…

Sandor ignored him completely and his voice betrayed his growing annoyance.

- I don't need fucking gifts. I am not a homeless beggar or something. Anyway, I have my own land.

Sansa looked at him with utter surprise. What was he talking about?

- Do you?

- Well, who do you think inherited the Clegane Hall and its territories after my beloved brother's tragic death? – Sandor was grinning at her with contempt - Let me help you: it was me.

Sansa felt completely stupid now. How could she have forgotten about Ser Gregor and the ill-famous Clegane Hall?

Ser Thomas seemed to be unable to keep his mouth closed. His voice and choice of words talked books about his displeasure and fury. He hated to see Sandor Clegane in Winterfell, no matter what he had done for the Stark sisters and for the kingdom.

He was not that blind and he noticed how Sandor was watching Lady Stark and how she was staring at him. He knew that Sandor had been crazy for her since she put her feet into King's Landing for the first time and he was sure that she fell in love with him during the last months since his sudden return to Winterfell. Despite all her efforts, he could see a significant change in her manners and behaviour, especially it was about Sandor.

- Then why don't you return there, and rule over your little kingdom? – one could have tasted Ser Thomas's contempt for Sandor.

Sansa lifted her brow curiously that meant a kind of command that Ser Thomas understood immediately and he swallowed his other questions.

- Ser Thomas…

Sandor shrugged with a dark smile on his face.

- That is okay, Lady Stark, let him talk.

Sansa seemed to be a little annoyed with Ser Thomas and his behaviour, but Sandor enjoyed the situation and turned his head a little to look into Ser Thomas's eyes while answering slowly:

- I have someone there, an old relative of my family. He keeps things right and it is great, because I don't want to have any connection with that bloody land.

Ser Thomas was getting more and more irritated and furious as he was watching Sansa. She behaved like a real lady, a real queen, she spoke only a few words, but her eyes, her glances on Sandor spoke so much more. Those dreamy eyes talked about expectation, tenderness, admiration, longing, and love. Isn't she completely aware of the way she is looking at him, he wondered.

- So you don't plan to leave Winterfall and continue your life as a landlord? Do you prefer being a servant here?

Now the tenderness disappeared from Sansa's eyes and face – she looked really furious and frightening.

- Ser Thomas, we have clarified that Ser Sandor is a welcomed friend at Winterfall and he was never a servant.

Ser Thomas wished he had stayed away from the room or he had been able to keep his mouth shut. I should leave as soon as possible, he decided.

- Let me apologise for him, my lady.

- Fuck your apologies. – Sandor spat out the words like a curse, and left the hall, without even looking at Ser Thomas. He seemed to be angry but the naughty shining of his eyes showed how much he actually enjoyed annoying and teasing Ser Thomas.

A long silence fell on the room.

Sansa was watching Ser Thomas with a huge displeasure. She remained motionless on her throne, but her eyes and her curling lips told everything.

- Dear Ser Thomas, would you be so kind to explain to me what was all this? I always considered you as the person with the largest patience and self-discipline. However, I haven't seen much of those in the last few minutes.

Ser Thomas took a deep bow.

- I am really sorry, my lady, but I cannot have any trust for Sandor…

Sansa was looking away, into the centre of the flames of the fireplace.

- You may not, but my family and I do trust him. I don't want to remind you any more how much debt my sister and I have for him. Ser Sandor saved our lives and that is more than anyone has ever done for us. I thought that I was completely clear the last time I talked about it.

- I am sorry…

Sansa smiled at her old friend softly but her eyes were a kind of warning to him whispering that he should be more careful.

- Please leave and think about your words. I don't want enemies in Winterfell. You don't have to love Ser Sandor but you are expected to show him respect and basic courtesy.

When Ser Thomas left the room, slightly shaking with anger, he was completely sure: Lady Sansa was in love with that damned Clegane. This thing must be stopped, he thought.